Could you guys read some of my internal thoughts and point me in the right direction?
I'm thinking this, but I just can't get myself to do it (this is just me speaking to myself in my head): -just be selfish already fuck, it isn't bad to be selfish -do whatever you want to do, why does it have to be up to standard with people's expectations , such as you have to have friends, you shouldn't be happy being alone... -stop fucking smiling all the time and wanting to be in a positive experience with everyone you meet, you WANT to be liked by everyone like to the full extent (I'm basically don't want to have a bad relationship with someone, this goes back to being selfish and wanting approval by everyone)
How do I get myself to do these things, I'm trying to force them but I just can't seem to be able to do them.I'm also reading NMMNG again. I know i'm struggling with external approval alot.How do I just stop wanting to be liked by everyone all the time?
Thanks
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
you care too much what other people need because you are either scared or dependent on them. fix this and it will be easier.
_Nsh_ 2y ago
how do i fix being scared?
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
exposure
hannulv 2y ago
In general I would agree, but I think the approach benefits from tinkering.
Due to the law of reciprocation, humans are wired for altruism, but it only works in localized social circles. In other words, people give to get, while feeling generous, selfless, and magnanimous about it. It is pro-social and self-interested to be generous in a non-needy way in social circles that you wish to dominate, so long as you are not a mark who is getting taken advantage of. Smiling ingratiation is usually just an expression of neediness. Having a positive, energetic outlook, however, is a leadership skill.
whytehorse2021 2y ago
Having yourself as your mental point of origin is what creates your frame. Always put yourself first. You're coming from a female-centric societal conditioning and being told to do what works for women. It doesn't work for men. Nobody gives a shit about you because you're a man. Nobody gives you respect just for being a man. So you have to give a shit about yourself and respect yourself while building value and earning respect. You can't do that if you don't have yourself as the center of your frame.
_Nsh_ 2y ago
what is mental point of origin?
whytehorse2021 2y ago
Your mental point of origin is really your own internalized understanding about how you yourself fit into your own understanding of Frame.
If Frame is the dominant narrative of a relationship (not limited to just romantic relations), your mental point of origin is the import and priority to which you give to the people and/or ideas involved in that relationship. It is the first thought you have when considering any particular of a relationship, and it’s often so ingrained in us that it becomes an autonomous mental process.
For most of us our understanding of that point of origin develops when we’re children. Kids are necessarily “selfish”, sometimes cruel and greedy because our first survival instinct is to naturally put ourselves as our mental point of origin. Only later, with parenting and learning social skills do we begin to share, cooperate, empathize and sympathize as our mental point of origin shifts to putting the concerns of others before our own.
Young boys are generally very Alpha because of this unlearned self-importance. This is the source of the almost zen-like, mater-of-fact Alpha bearing of Corey Worthington. As I said, he’s not a ‘man’ anyone ought to aspire to, but he is an Alpha without intent or self-awareness.
There is a ‘first thought’ balance we have to maintain in a pro-social respect in order to develop healthy relationships. The problem we run into today is one in which boys are (largely) raised to be the men who provide more than they need in order to establish a future family. That learned, conditioned, mental point of origin is almost always focused outward and onto the people he hopes will reciprocate by placing him as their own point of origin.
Natural feminine solipsism makes this exchange a losing prospect. Women are both raised and affirmed by a vast social mechanism that not just encourages them to put themselves as their mental point of origin, but it shames and ostracizes them for placing it on someone or something other than themselves.
By now I’m sure that much of this comes off as some encouragement towards a retaliatory selfishness or narcissism, but putting oneself as his own point of origin doesn’t have to mean being anti-social or sociopathic. It requires a conscious decision to override an internalized understanding of oneself, but by placing yourself as your mental point of origin you are better positioned to help others and judge who is worth that effort.
It often requires some emotional trauma for men to realign themselves as their own point of origin, and I feel this is a necessary part of unplugging, but the real challenge is in how you deal with that trauma in a Red Pill aware state. If you are to kill the Beta in you, the first step is placing yourself as your mental point of origin.
So my weekend discussion questions are this: Are you your mental point of origin?
Is your first inclination to consider how something in your relationships will affect you or your girlfriend/wife/family/boss?
When men fall into relationships with authoritarian, feminine-primary women, their first thought about any particulars of their actions is how his woman will respond to it, not his own involvement or his motivations for it. Are you a peacekeeper?
Do you worry that putting yourself as your own first priority will turn a woman off or do you think it will engage her more fully?
Are you concerned that doing so may lead to your own form of solipsism, or do you think ‘enlightened self-interests’ serves your best interests and those with whom you want to help or become intimate with?