Could you guys read some of my internal thoughts and point me in the right direction?

I'm thinking this, but I just can't get myself to do it (this is just me speaking to myself in my head): -just be selfish already fuck, it isn't bad to be selfish -do whatever you want to do, why does it have to be up to standard with people's expectations , such as you have to have friends, you shouldn't be happy being alone... -stop fucking smiling all the time and wanting to be in a positive experience with everyone you meet, you WANT to be liked by everyone like to the full extent (I'm basically don't want to have a bad relationship with someone, this goes back to being selfish and wanting approval by everyone)

How do I get myself to do these things, I'm trying to force them but I just can't seem to be able to do them.I'm also reading NMMNG again. I know i'm struggling with external approval alot.How do I just stop wanting to be liked by everyone all the time?