I am a single man about to turn 35 in a few months. I deactivated and haven't used Instagram and Facebook in over a decade. I recognized early back then how distracting it was and how much time it consumed. I also to this day still believe it is very superficial, toxic and unhealthy as it's all about clout and validation. Just speaking for myself, it makes me unhappy. I refuse to be a fan for these thots. The same applies with online dating which I don't use anymore as well. The only social media I use are anonymous ones that give me knowledge and information such as forums, reddit, and YouTube. Not judging people that still use them- these are just personal thoughts.
During my hiatus from IG, I've been successful in dating and getting laid with very attractive girls I met in real life at work, the gym, etc. I have a pretty good SMV and get a lot of choosing signals out in the real world. I always thought it made me stick out from the crowd when girls ask for my IG and I tell them I don't use it.
However, recently I noticed that this may actually be hurting my dating life as I am missing out. I have a great life without IG and go out frequently to meet women, but I feel like not having IG may be deterring me from getting more girls or maintaining them due to social proof. I feel at times I've lost opportunities with some women just because they think I'm weird or I'm trying to hide something. My boy shared me his stories last night while we were at the bar and NGL he uses IG as a great tool showing how he is living his life traveling and hanging out with other beautiful women. I understand why he smashes so many baddies as it definitely attracts other women when they see him already with baddies so they chase.
I guess I've been torn lately to see if I should reinstall IG to start building social proof again to help increase my SMV even though it goes against my gut feelings of how bad it is and also if it's even worth it after being out the game for so long.
I guess I'm just reaching out to see if others are in the same boat as. I don't want to conform to societal pressures , but the older I get I am realizing that "it is what it is" and that IG is a necessary requirement to obtain women these days. Also, being in my mid-thirties, I am trying to meet younger girls in their 20s and I know social media is basically ingrained in their heads at this point.
Appreciate y'all fam!
LeeroysBackInJailAgain 2y ago
If you wanna keep banging them young stinkycooch thotties, youll find plenty on ig and fb fam.
If you want a real stable long term relationship with a mature minded woman with a heart of gold, stay off social media and try joining a church my friend.
fockedup 2y ago
I'm 30 and I started using social media more last year, from virtually never using it to making ~10 posts/year and adding a story every few weeks or so.
I did notice more attraction especially from girls I was already acquaintances with but never really talked to. I do some cool stuff in my life that not many people would know about if I didn't post, so it's very easy to get a pic/vid from a regular day and have chicks be intrigued by it. Mostly I noticed the girls who I knew were already attracted to me without knowing much about my life, are now much more interested and attracted. Same goes for girls who see it after I meet them irl.
So in my experience it only added to my game because I had already built a cool life that I could pull content from.
MarloChrisSnoop 2y ago
Appreciate you sharing bro.
When you post, do you put hashtags?
Also, noob question, but what exactly are stories? Are they live, or can you edit it before you post a story?
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
You're fine!
It works for very good looking men. It doesn't work for most men, serving only to bolster the female ego.
I don't think saying "I don't use IG" makes you stand out or that it is appealing. Don't forget from HER point of view, IG is an amazing source of endless validation.
Possibly.
Yeah.
Used at its best it creates some social proof and attraction.
But if you follow this logic, you end up putting a lot of time and energy into it,, it becomes an end in itself, and you're back at square one: endlessly chasing validation / social proof on IG.
The problem is it takes a lot of work. Other people are putting EVERYTHING into their IG. Dabbling is just gonna make you look much-less-good than them. Posting up "I don't have time for IG" isn't going to win you any favours on their.
Same boat, slightly older. I don't bother with IG, and I have no intention of doing. If/when I have a yacht and am going on adventures all the time and it is EASY, I would. Right now, no fucking way.
In most cases sadly yes.
MarloChrisSnoop 2y ago
Hey bro.. I appreciate your thoughtful responses! Glad I'm not not the only one in the same boat. @mattyanon
Out of curiosity, I just opened mine after all these years and surprised it hasn't not been deleted. My last post was from 2013.. I feel like a dinosaur and so lame lol. I don't even know how to use the stories and other new tools. It's been over a decade.
I'm still thinking and maybe waiting for more responses on this thread, but I'm leaning towards just keeping it and posting occasionally on special occasions or some shit. I noticed as soon as I reinstalled it, I was wasting so much time on it catching up with people.
If I do keep it, I might just delete the app off my phone until I need it or just try and be disciplined and never open it unless I'm posting. Definitely not going to be following thots and scrolling through liking shit. If anything, just posting. Definitely feel you though.. definitely gotta flex when we level up and get our yacts and lambos my guy!
Still torn.. but it ain't so sad if as long as I am disciplined.
Appreciate you bro!
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
Most welcome!
The most important thing is to not use it on mobile, not to be logged in, not to get alerts from it. That shit will consume you and spit out nothing.
Keep it to 20 mins a day, dip in and dip out. If you like a girl from there, move her to something that alerts you.... "hey girl, I don't check this thing often, hit me up on 1-555....."
Big-Dan 2y ago
I always thought a good way of looking at IG is as a "virtual resume", which seems to be how you're thinking of using it. Just throw up a few pictures of you looking good or doing cool shit so that girls can check you out on there and then delete the app after everytime you post a new picture. This way you're not on there scrolling or looking at girls. You don't really have to bother with posting stories regularly but if you're doing something noteworthy it could be a good way to DHV and provide social proof
MarloChrisSnoop 2y ago
@Big-Dan
Agreed brother.. yea essentially how I'm thinking of using it going forward if I choose this route.
Maybe I have been being too dramatic in not using at all since 2013 and just need to set controls for myself to not distract myself.
Sadly, I don't even know how to do a story but yea I'll figure it out if I'm on vacation or I'm out or something.
I think the key if I do go this route is to just really do it in moderation and not obsess about it. The main thing for me is to not scroll all day and validate other people.
Appreciate you my guy.
SgtBuchannon99 2y ago
Honestly it is seen as a negative from my experience. I used to have an IG when i was 18-22 and had a bunch of comments of girls "was nice seeing you at that party ;)" "man crush monday" them just teasing me and simping for me. Girls i knew in real life
So i had girls i just met, see my social proof after adding me, and gaining very strong interest.
i stopped using IG around 23 and am about 26 now and i am happier but when i tell girls i dont have an IG, its not a negative, but not a positive.
If you can gain social proof its better to have it. as in- if you make one today, within a month do you think you will have lots of guy friends and simping girls in your comments?
if not, better just to stay off, in terms of SMV retention.
MarloChrisSnoop 2y ago
Thanks for sharing @SgtBuchannon99
Happy to hear and hopeful that it's a positive when you tell girls you don't have an IG.
To answer your question, probably not. I only have 38 followers right now but I been absolute for over a decade. To add followers, I just need to reach out to my current social circle and get their usernames.
I may be overthinking this, but yea I agree and I think I am proving my point in my OP that it's distracting period.
Appreciate you my guy.
coolsocks00 1 2y ago
IMO it's something you either focus on or drop completely. You can choose to spend time, effort and take the stress it brings while you reap the rewards, like your friend. It definitely will help once you have decent content - especially for those kinds of girls who are all about IG and social proof - but it isnt necessary and has drawbacks.
Personally im 28 dating younger girls but admittedly not the typical superficial IG 9s and 10s. I am more into cute, shy, introverted girls anyway. I have closed off accounts i dont use. Girls can see that i have a user - not sure if it matters honestly but it may put them at ease, but im not active and so i wont add them.
To source girls outside of day game i use Tinder actively and just get phone numbers for texts/pics/calls. Using snap a bit but mostly for close friends.
MarloChrisSnoop 2y ago
@coolsocks00
I'm very similar to you in that I am more into submissive girls more than the 9/10 thots. Maybe I'm chasing the wrong thing and should stick with the script. It would be less headache.
I think I may take your passive approach in just having one, but not really using it.
Appreciate you sharing brother.
Corneliuscaruso 2y ago
Get on ig if you want more opportunities, don't if you're comfortable with your results. If you're on ig, do your thing, show your life, and don't validate these hoes.
MarloChrisSnoop 2y ago
@Corneliuscaruso No doubt.. love your advice my guy. Will do. Appreciate you.
jormigaso 2y ago
I don't do it. I think if you don;t use it, you can amplify in selling a 'mysterious' image, you must apply game/personality into it, and you must show you have a great lifestyle in other ways, just my 2 cents.
MarloChrisSnoop 2y ago
Thanks bro.
You been successful without it? Age?
jormigaso 2y ago
early 20s and no, I'm on monk mode right now, so I'm not the best person to give advice.
whytehorse2021 2y ago
All these apps are just buffers. The entirety of social media is mass-gossiping. Gossip is what has evolved in women as a social strategy to help them know their place in the pecking order and initiate new women into the fold. Do you really want to voluntarily enter your data into the gossip machine?
MarloChrisSnoop 2y ago
Thanks bro. Definitely not.
How you been doing without it?
whytehorse2021 2y ago
I don't even know I don't have it. There's an old saying about bird hunting: one in the hand is better than 2 in the bush. Social media offers you the bush with lots of birds. Most of the time you come up empty-handed.