TL;DR Attractive college kid games girls, doesn't sleep with them even though they want him to. Doesn't know if it's due to not enough time or sexual repression/being scared.
I am a first year student in Computer Science, at my University's Downtown Campus. I'm 19, 186 cm and weight 190 lbs. I train at the very least 3 times a week, 4 when I'm lucky.
My schedule is pretty fucking hectic ngl. Between all the assignments, the studying, the lifting and my tutoring job, I somehow lost the drive to get girls. I'll provide a longer summary down below.
I fucked for the first time a few weeks before uni started, back in July. She was a single mom older than me, that I met through friends of friends. Long story short, she wasn't really tight, I felt nothing from the bjs or the sex, the condoms didn't fit and I couldn't really maintain my boner. Mind you, at that time, I had lost 30 pounds and was feeling great, but the experience was shit. Also, I wasn't really attracted to her, I just wanted to get it over with.
I drastically reduced my masturbation and porn consumption since then, my longest streak being 21 days, during which my flatline scared me so much I had to see if my dick still worked and I broke the streak.
The thing that's getting on my nerves is that I've come to realize I'm attractive: all my friends think that when I'm not with them or not in class, I'm fucking. Didn't realize it at first even though some girls overtly told me something along the lines of ''Whoever the girl you're with is, I hope she's special'' when I couldn't show up to plans.
Met a few people at a party a few days ago, we were talking about dating and stuff. One of the girls said this, about meeting girls of my standard: ''It probably isn't too hard for you''. My guy friends make much more comments about it, and I'm not about to break their fantasy.
Speaking of parties: every event I go to, there is always, absolutely always at least one girl who is down to fuck. From saying it, to biting their lips in front of me to "I don't live too far I gotta go grab something at home come with me and grabbing my arm", I don't seem to be lacking options.
However, I don't feel like exercising said options more often than not. I don't know if it's because my mind is clogged by all the assignments and studying I gotta do or if it's because I still have a very bad taste from my first time and don't want to be stuck in an awkward ED situation. It's not 'regret' as in "Rejection is better than regret", it's just that I don't care whether I make a move on these girls or not.
For anyone wondering, yes I workout, yes I watch my diet, yes I get at the very least 8 hours of sleep (still feel tired as hell when I wake up). Also, I got a doctor's appointment on the 30th, planning to ask questions about my T-levels
PSYCHOKILLA 2y ago
that shit huh?
Growing 2y ago
See if your dick still worked. Lol.
Anyway, that happens to the best of us. I totally don't have any motivation to fuck. It's not interesting.
Indifference to fucking, maybe.
At this point, all you want to do is focus on better things; fortunately or not girls are not better things.
Get laid on your schedule.
Don't stress it.
NeoSpartan 2y ago
Yeah I had that too when I started dating again after a long ass hiatus. It's likely performance anxiety, probably not T-levels. Just get some more sexual experience with girls. You don't have to fuck them right away, just make up some excuse, do some heavy petting and making out or something, get comfortable with the stuff. Once you get your confidence back(or initialized?) you'll be fine.
koedeloe123 2y ago
You should read the book 'Your Brain On Porn'. I know that you cut back on porn and masturbating, making it up to 21 days, but trust me, every one of your problems is explained in there.
I had the same issue as you. Likewise, I was experiencing ED/PIED (Porn Induced ED), felt tired all the time, and my libido was that of a 70-year-old man. I started watching porn when I was like 11 years old, I'm 24 now. It messed up my brain. Over the past years, I've cut back on it like you, but it can take months for your brain to rewire. I had girls hitting on me, but I didn't have that drive to fuck the shit out of them.
I visited 3 different doctors/endocrinologists, got my test levels checked several times, and all of them said there was nothing wrong with me. They said it was in my head, that I should find a girl I feel comfortable around, and prescribed me cialis. That was all a load of bullshit and didn't solve anything in the long run, if anything, it made me rely on cialis as a 24-year-old, which isn't normal, despise me having enough sleep, eating healthy, working out, ...
Then I read the book 'Your Brain On Porn' and it all made sense. Like I said, years of porn fucked up my brain. I'm completely eliminated porn from my life. Currently, on a 26 days streak, and I'm starting to feel like a 12-year-old again. It will take many more weeks/months, but it will be worth it.
You can get your test levels checked, if they're normal, and the doctor tells you it's all in your head, read the book I recommended you. Eliminating porn forever will change your life, trust me.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
"My schedule is pretty fucking hectic ngl. Between all the assignments, the studying, the lifting and my tutoring job, I somehow lost the drive to get girls. I'll provide a longer summary down below."
I have two attractive matches sitting in my dating apps that I haven't said a single word to yet and it's been almost a week. I'm too overwhelmed with other shit I have going on.
I'm not mentally able to right now, even though by an outside oberserver's perspective I would have every reason to try to talk to them.
So perhaps you are also overwhelmed with shit in your life. There is only so much mental space people have.
I think you already answered your own curiosity about what's going on with the quoted text
SgtBuchannon99 2y ago
I think this is the first time in society this has happened. Your average man who is valuable enough to get women has NO TIME to even date.
For example, if you are pretty high value you will have options. But in order to be high value, you usually are very invested into career, gym, friends, hobbies etc. You sort of need those core things to get girls nowadays. Back in our parents days all you needed was a little courage to ask a girl out and obviously some confidence. Back in the 60s when your average man just needed 40 hours to support the entire house, he could spend the rest of the time dating, especially back before women became brainwashed and social media boosted their egos.
I believe this is a new epidemic occurring, which is going unnoticed. A lot of high value guys dont have time because of our taxes/economy combined with the female ego at an all time high, its creating a recipe for disaster.
I have traveled to other countries, where most men just need to work full time to get things done. Yeah they dont have a million dollar mansion and Porsche but they have enough. The rest of the time they could spend on dating if needed. Also the girls are normal, outside of USA.