Had first date with her, she seemed really high interest and expressed wanting to see me again. But problem is she has really high masculine energy. She talks really loud, if I try to set the date location and setting she tries to change it. Last time I went around her area, so this time I asked her to come to mine and she doesn’t want to, I suggested we watch a movie she suggested we get dinner and golf instead. Seeing this masculine energy from her, I threw my Hail Mary and asked if we can do movies and pizza at her place so I have an opportunity to fuck (I don’t have my own place taking care of parents). She said no she doesn’t let people visit. On top of that I really don’t find her physically attractive I just wanted to smash one or two times. To me it seems like she just wants a bf she can control, that she won’t easily have sex with. Should I just cut my losses and cut her off, I spent 60$ on the first date, so I guess that will be down the drain. Should I next this girl?
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manlyCupcake 4y ago
Ask her when she's free. Text her the location and what you will be doing. No doubt no suggestions just state a fact. If she reacts with a shit-test brush it off. She will next you or you will get laid.
[deleted] 4y ago
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koedeloe123 4y ago
Yes, she sounds like a pain in the ass. I hope you learned your lesson, don't spend 60$ on a fucking first date. That's why you go for a walk or drinks. Something that's cheap.
helpfulguy22 4y ago
Ya this was a huge lesson for me to keep it cheap on the frst dates.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
"I threw my Hail Mary and asked if we can do movies and pizza"
Don't ask, tell. If she says no that is her problem unless there is some legitimate reason she says no (maybe she just loves another activity or can't stand what you suggested). Asking her looks like low frame to her.
"She said no she doesn’t let people visit."
Does she have something to hide? Not sure I'd say this is a red flag, but it's not a good sign. Sounds like she'd be a pain in the ass to work with.
"On top of that I really don’t find her physically attractive"
You're wasting your time, and it sounds like you're settling due to what seems like a lack of options. Would you be climbing this uphill battle if you had more willing and more attractive prospects?
"I spent 60$ on the first date, so I guess that will be down the drain."
Huge frame break and waste of money. You should never spend that much on a first date, never.
1) puts you in the beta bucks category, why would you splurge on a woman on the first date, much less a woman you don't even find attractive.
2) even if #1 hypothetically didn't apply, what did she do to earn a $60 date? Women do not deserve any kind of significant date expenditures until they've demonstrated they do, and even then, should be because it benefits you (example: boyfriend takes good LTR of 2 years on a cruise that HE wants to go on)
"Should I next this girl?"
Yes
helpfulguy22 4y ago
Amazing breakdown, thanks. So I did sort of tell her let’s do movies at ur place, she said no because she has a roommate, but she has her own room, it’s an apartment I don’t see the issue, she is just being a pain in the ass I guess. Ya the 60$ hurts I guess but even setting up the first date she wanted to do some other shit, it was a long two weeks of work for me and I really enjoy movies and burgers as a reward, so we did that, so atleast it was on my own terms, but ya thank you for the advice, going to next this pain in the ass. Currently I only have one more plate, I recently got out of an LTR and also landed my dream job one month ago, so have been busy to gather other plates, but working on it haha.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
No problem,
It's awesome that you just landed your dream job, women love a guy with ambition and following his passion. Don't rush to get plates, it will effect your game to "try hard" if that makes sense. You want to be in an IDGAF attitude, rather than a forced pace.
I still think it's BS with the roommate excuse. Either her roommate is a nightmare/Karen about guests or she's not ready to have you over (lame reason) or she would if you were Chad (in which case she's being a pain and creating her own high-expectation hurdles for you to climb)
It's good that you have another plate, derive a sense of abundance from it.
"Movies and burgers" I take it you meant like actually went to the movie theater? That venue is poor for escalation and limits your ability to directly interact. Not to mention it's pricey. That's better for an LTR or someone you're consistently dating (where you've already built attraction and have a dynamic with them established)
mattyanon Admin 4y ago
Oh hell no. "Dinner" means "dinner that YOU PAY FOR". Dinner dates are terrible because you're forced to literally watch each other eat while not talking.
ASKED???
Right
Urgh, why?
Dates should cost travel plus a cup of coffee or one drink. WTF you spending $60 on women for? Alpha fucks, beta bucks. Start spending money on her and guess which category you're in?
What the fuck are you doing trying to make it work with a girl you can't visit, won't visit you, and you don't find attractive?
Fucking next, a week ago.
PS Controlling women are awful, next them faster next time.
pfeilmacher 4y ago
This might be good practice for you.
Try and re-establish your frame.
helpfulguy22 4y ago
Very true, any tips on how to do that
pfeilmacher 4y ago
Withdraw attention. That's what females desire most. Force her to come to you and initiate contact. If you want to meet, have a plan and stick to it. Don't let her dictate the terms to you. Give her a "take it or leave it" attitude.
And go out with other women.