So i’ve been in a LTR for the past year and i’m struggling to find the means to navigate it - Mostly in terms of jealousy and trust issues. Past experiences have left me feeling needy and I find myself often asking her for reassurance, asking if she loves me, if i’m the pne, etc. I know my beyavior isnt doing me any favors, but I can’t help but ask because I am so afraid of losing this. I know that I shouldn't feel that way... But it feels outside of my control. I'm scared of being left and scared of what that rejection would do to me and say about me.
I’m never aggressive in how i ask or bring these things up but I find myself being clingy, wondering and asking who she’s talking to, and feeling anxious all of the time. Frankly, I don’t know how to stop giving a fuck. I don’t know if I could handle betrayal. She says this is forever, but those words do nothing for me.
I know I might catch shit for this post but i’m trying to work myself out of this. Sex is still great, we talk about moving in together, but sometimes she doesnt respond or ignores my messages and I feel more invested. I don’t know how to pull the energy back in my favor. If I back off and stop being available, what if she starts having interest for someone else? Those are the thoughts im stuck with.