Don't have much to contribute, just looking for what you guys think.
I'm currently contemplating starting a relationship with a plate who is ten years younger. She's smart, well read, doesn't drink, seems like a good catch for a girlfriend - and we seem to be on the same level and the age difference barely even registers with me.
What do you guys make of large age gaps? Came to my mind to make this thread when I saw a similar thread on the Reddit relationships sub, but everyone there unsurprisingly sees it as a form of creepy patriarchy or some bullshit so it's useless talking to those people.
Reddit thread for those curious few: https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/p4vyn5/older_men_35_plus_going_for_younger_women_25_and/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

hotmasterlovaz 5y ago
it's not a problem. somehow society (mostly ugly feminists, old chicks and simp losers) is constantly trying to shame men for date younger women and women for chasing older men. A 19 year old (i'm ten years older than her) bluntly told me she can't respect men around her age and is turned on by older men. This correlates with what many girls say. A friend of a friend married a 24 year old chick at 42 and another one is a 40 year old associate dating a 28 year old swedish chick. I can continue to bring real life examples if you want. so don't fret it, because most likely she won't either (unless she has an ugly cunt in her female group shaming her for it).
KidDolomite 5y ago
I ageee theirs so many factors as to why also.
YourOwnDisaster 5y ago
Edit: She's already your plate, how long have you spun her?
Also depends on the ages we're talking about
CAPTAINSKINNYPENIS 5y ago
I've been seeing her for a few months. She's 23 and I'm turning 33 this winter.
YourOwnDisaster 5y ago
I'm 36 now but around 32 I dated 8 years younger. The problems I found were just having the time and energy to keep up with her wanting to go out and have a good time all the time. If you have someone who's not much of a party girl, you might be in luck. Conversely, if she's your plate, your current situation might be her own version of casual sex without feeling like a hoe. Has she been dropping hints that she wants a relationship with you?
CAPTAINSKINNYPENIS 5y ago
She doesn't drink at all so that's a plus. She follows my lead and even if she suggests something and I say "nah let's do this instead" she seems completely content. She's great in bed, wholesome outside of the bedroom (but responds well to any kinky talk in daily life), doesn't party, and is smart and had good family values. Honestly, I feel like I've found a unicorn.
She definitely wants a relationship with me. In fact she's been dropping hints she sees me as her future husband, if not outright saying "let's get married once I finally finish my studies" with a sly wink, half jokingly. I'm thinking that if I do want to try a family life with kids I may have met the one for that, but of course I will need to do a lot more screening first.
YourOwnDisaster 5y ago
Just keep in mind that even the best of us get oneitis. There's no such thing as a unicorn, but you can certainly lead someone in the direction you want. If that's what you want and are confident in your decision, by all means try it out. Just remember where you came from....you know, just in case.
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YourOwnDisaster 5y ago
You make a good point, and Rollo puts the research out there that you become extremely attractive as a man in his 30's+ to younger women, as you've established yourself in life. Why not take advantage of the power-up you've gotten?
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Initial-Glove 5y ago
Reddit finds large age gaps predatory. It's only "sex positive" when its a woman and her students.
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YourOwnDisaster 5y ago
Yea, I misread and then saw the name.
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YourOwnDisaster 5y ago
My bad. I can give you a reach around if it'll help
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YourOwnDisaster 5y ago
Check out Blue Waffle next.
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CAPTAINSKINNYPENIS 5y ago
It softens my heart to know I've established the grounds for such a beautiful, sexually charged relationship between two bros
whytehorse2021 5y ago
You straight guys don't know what you're missing.
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YourOwnDisaster 5y ago
We can form the coveted elephant walk
whytehorse2021 5y ago
Women skewed the demographics when they entered the workforce. You used to marry a woman your age when you were 25 or so. Now it's 35 due to economics. Older women will try to shame you because they can't compete. Just do whatever the fuck you want and ignore society. Marry an 18yr old when you're 50 because you got money and she needs a bailout. Fuck age. Do what you want.
CAPTAINSKINNYPENIS 5y ago
All solid points, but I'm also looking for tips from men who have been through a similar situation - things to look out for, what behaviour works best to maintain a good LTR, etc.
banmered 5y ago
Off the cuff, things to look out for I can think of.
Jokes about "generation gaps" are mild shit tests. DARE, non DEER.
https://www.forums.red/p/TheRedPill/4349/talking_with_women_always_dare_never_deer
If you are are serious about starting a family one day, not necessarily with her but your mission includes it, weigh the pros and cons to start term life insurance now if you haven't already. It gets expensive in a hurry from here on out for you when you think in terms of enough for a year or two for your family. Lock in the low premiums and good terms now, or look up what it costs later and plan to pay those premiums.
Take care of your health. Be in at least the top 5-10% of men in your age cohort, if not better. Do not give her any feeling that she might have made a mistake choosing a much older man.
Set spending habits now. Unless she's very unusually raised, she will be too young to have absorbed frugality and high time preference lessons. Do not, under any circumstances, reveal details of your financial life. That knowledge is distortive at this phase of your relationship, and she's too young to know how to properly use it in any case. Lead her by example, reveling in your tight-fisted Scottish frugality. Know the difference between tightness and cheapness. Know the difference between value and price.
Number one stress on LTR/marriages of money is rooted in hypergamy, but women fall prey to sunk cost fallacy just like anyone, and will generally not actively seek a branch for financial reasons if you are constantly making progress measured over a running 3-5 years. Here, habits of not consuming ad-supported media, and avoiding any nexus of the madding crowd pays dividends. Watch her actions as always, non-judgementally observe her friend circles. The time to show judgement is when you either approvingly accept her friend circle, or end the relationship because of them. It takes an exceptionally rare girl who rejects the allure of the attention economy boosted by those she surrounds herself with at such a remove of age from you.
At any time, for any reason, or no reason at all, make sure by your actions you demonstrate to her that she's free to leave. Just your turn. Until it isn't, many years or ideally around a decade later. If you are many of her "firsts", then the idea of permanence in many different aspects will scare the shit out of her at this stage when push comes to shove. A light touch is needed here. Even if she goes into the "what are we" area (for me personally that is a deal breaker, but you do you), you are the leader here.
Maintain your mission. Glorify your Grind. It is okay to occasionally get intoxicated for a few days within the relationship itself, but never forget yourself.
CAPTAINSKINNYPENIS 5y ago
Thanks a lot, this is an excellent post and it really touched on something I'm personally concerned about: finances going forward if I choose to settle down.
Lots of sage advice, I appreciate it.
whytehorse2021 5y ago
In an LTR you have to balance the alpha and beta traits to match the woman's ovulatory cycle. After menstruation is 1 week of alpha fux, then 2 weeks of beta bux, then a week of menstruating. This is why marriage is called red pill on hard mode. It's easy to slip into beta mode and stay there if you're coming from a blue pilled beta background. It's easy to stay in alpha mode if you're coming from a blue pilled alpha background. This why guys who are 100% alpha or beta lose women, get cheated on, get nagged, etc.
mattyanon Admin 5y ago
This is not a large age gap, this is normal.
How old are you both? It matters because if you're 30 and she's 20, then that's a large age gap. If you're 50 and she's 40, it's no gap at all.
Currently I'm experiencing a much bigger gap than ten years, and it's awesome.
Assuming you're 35 and she's 25 (going by your link): it's fine. And that's the end of it.
CAPTAINSKINNYPENIS 5y ago
23/33
Thanks bro