I'm pretty new to TRP (Got introduced to 16 and am 17 but I couldn't practice any concept so I'm not counting any experience). I am addicted to destroying my brain regularly with chemicals from PMO. I want to internalize the concepts but I have realized that reading anything is only going to fuel my addiction rather than helping. In order to learn anything about girls, I need to talk to them and actually witness the stuff I should've seen right through earlier. Problem is COVID won't let me conduct the experiments I need to learn, and in general it's just pausing life.
Normally I have a drive that forces me to work harder because of competition, and seeing girls everyday and not getting the option for PMO helps in actually developing my skills.
I'm a naturally lazy person and I work hard only when I have to, Pre-COVID it was often cause I always see people better than me (So the right environment drove me). Now I'm settling for good enough because it kinda is (The environment is just my room and the only person for comparison is myself). I normally would work a little and get feedback and repeat the cycle because of encouragement, Now my mind is giving me the illusion of progress when I read TRP. It's impossible to just work on myself because I never needed the discipline for it, it was always requirement based. Chances are: discipline will never be my thing especially since I'm still getting results
I'm able to make improvement habits that even benefit me short term like exercise or replacing youtube and reddit with my favorite kind of work (like studying math), but the long term stuff like studying chem and getting over my addictions (including reading about women because I can't see them), I can't get myself to do. I'm currently just trying to do it little by little and work on the stuff I can get motivation for, but the long term stuff I keep relapsing and losing progress.
I can't explain my problem quite well but any perspective from an experienced person is appreciated (The title is mostly everything I'm aiming for before college)
BWMagus 2y ago
I know it may sound both cliche and condescending, but remember that you are young and you have your whole life ahead of you. That doesn't mean be a lazy bum, I'm not saying to stop what you are working on, but don't feel like you need to, or even could, perfect yourself in the next year or two. Goals are important but, here, the main goal is not actually a goal, but a process; to adopt a lifestyle and outlook of taking care of yourself and improvement. You won't achieve all of your goals, you won't fulfill every dream, but by having a positive outlook and good habits, you will always be ready to adapt to changing circumstances, take advantage of what is available, and enjoy your life along the way. You have a problem you can't shake today? Do what you can for now, and shake it tomorrow. The more you are used to operating with a good mindset, the more junk you cut out, the easier it is to keep going. I wish I had had the discipline and foresight at 17 that you've already displayed--feel proud of that and just keep on trucking.
ProgrammerPC 2y ago
So a lot happened since I posted this. I got introduced to easypeasymethod.org and I view my porn addiction completely differently now. In absolute terms i still jerk off regularly but if the book is right (and I'm sure it is because I tested it for it's logical validity) I'm going to quit within the next 5 days (chapter 25 I am).
Removing this poison is only going to set me free to do whatever I want and that's where the advice is still useful, with this freedom I'll probably start considering stuff I find boring like chemistry to improve on just for the sake of it and I want to. Most people are terrible in dating because they make decisions with their dicks rather than their brains, I don't need sex (I only used to think that cause of the addiction) and hence, well I'll find out how this affects the rest of my life soon enough.
Even if they are no physical benefits, the time and lack of dependency on something stupid alone should help me start the process.
Thanks, it's good knowing that it only gets better now, and "fighting" these things early didn't ruin my childhood but fixed it (I think below 30 is still considered young enough to enjoy, who knows maybe the limit is kids)
bigdongjohnson 2y ago
You came here because deep down, you feel like something's not right. You're not happy with your current self and thus you are seeking out help from others. Many of us have been down that road of addiction and a lot of us ended up here. A majority, a lot older than you are. The fact that you are 17 is astounding and you will without a doubt rise above the creature comforts you have fallen into. Recognize that this is the first step of a lifelong process of bettering yourself. It looks like a lot of your motivations for doing this are fueled by your longing to be successful with women. Great. But realize that if this is the case, you will never succeed. You need to be 100% focused on building yourself, for you. Your number one reason for pursuit of this path, is you. The girls will come once you build within yourself a temple. And this temple will not have a sturdy foundation if it is built by the motivation to get laid. It will be forged in the iron fires of manliness by discipline. The discipline to become a tougher, stronger, smarter, humbler you.
ProgrammerPC 2y ago
I wasn't too worried about women because I know that some results are inevitable (I'm planning to do a couple things for sure and then it's a numbers game). Guess I'm worried that "love" or whatever I want is something I should get in my youth, not at the finish line where you can't tell if it's genuine. I heard women can be attracted to potential (and I wanted to rely more on that). There are some things I'm always motivated to do where I can just enjoy the journey. But the reason I'm mostly above average is because I never get the discipline to do things I don't want to unless I have to. I don't think women ever motivated me to work tbh (it worked once when I was actively deluding myself trying to make it motivate me with a crush), it was always the competitive environment that did it, it being removed with COVID, forced me to confront myself and find a new source.
The way I see it: success with girls come in 2 parts the pickup stuff, which mostly comes with practice as you get more experienced and understand what makes them tick (which I would love to learn as a pass time) which is not so effective against higher quality girls but gives numbers, and the working on myself that you pointed out (which I've technically done for 17 years) where high quality girls are easily impressed but there is a risk of exploitation if the other side is untouched. I'm not convinced that the results are dependent on the source of my motivation (also it's not just getting laid, it's the validation and other stuff I would want)
Perhaps something is flawed in my view, maybe me thinking that it's only a matter of time before everything is fixed is the reason I can't fight the addiction (my current strategy is to redirect the urges to fuel my desire to do the basic working on my self stuff (works sometimes)
Thanks I've got a lot to learn
[deleted] 2y ago
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