Hello! First post here. I'm glad to have found this community and I'm looking forward to learning a lot from you guys.
I’m a broke student in the UK, I’m not british. I come from a family that started really poorly and worked their way up so I had to learn to appreciate work and money and exercise patience and delayed gratification.
My girlfriend is half japanese. 19 years old, student in native country. She was born in Japan in a rich family but at 6, her mother decided her life was more important than her daughter and she divorced her husband because she "didn't feel safe in Japan" and preferred to go back in my home country and live in poverty, from job to job and paycheck to paycheck. While in Japan, my girlfriend enjoyed a superb life and the same goes for her mother (driving sports cars, being a housewife, eating out at expensive restaurants and travelling around East Asia) and could’ve had much more had she stayed married. She then married a bum who destroyed all their sources of income and had a 2nd child and forced both of the children to live in poverty. I have no respect for gf’s mother. When we met, she acted like a child, she drove dangerously, putting us 3 in danger and had terrible hissy fits. I found out she was doing this on purpose. She was "testing" me. I don't know how she was testing me by putting us 3 in danger while driving. Her grandma is a textbook psychopath. She "sold" her daughter in Japan, she made one of her husbands commit suicide and did the same to a tenant she used to have. She drove her own son into bankruptcy and always stops him from succeeding in life. All that family is extremely toxic. Her mother thinks like a teenager and is so into mental illness and everything is about anxiety and depression to her.
I am studying in the UK at moment and came back here for my 2nd year and had plans to move in with my girlfriend under 1 condition: she would have to save up money beforehand and work here. I encouraged her to get a qualification or a degree or something since she has loads of skills and is a smart girl but refused to.
She quit uni and started working. I have to move out in 2 weeks and because of her I cannot find a decent place. I found a couple of days ago that she doesn't have ANY savings whatsoever and wants to work crappy jobs here. If she comes here like that, BOTH of us would have to survive on a max. of 100 pounds a month after rent is paid. We'd starve. It's so easy to become homeless here in that situation. She also told me: ”I didn’t want to be a parasite but whatever” and I told her she wouldn’t be a parasite because I’m not allowing this. My parents are working their asses off so I can be able to eat something and I’m not disrespecting them like this.
I want to work in Japan at least for a while (I have connections there ) and she flat out told me: "I'm not working in Japan! They'd treat me like garbage". Well... I would earn 1000 pounds a month at best and be treated like garbage too as an intern and the plan between me and my parents is they are giving me money every month and they'll give me money while I'm working as an intern so I’m able to save up and for the last year of uni, I pay everything myself with my savings. I'm not going to Japan to have fun and I'm definitely not taking her on a vacation! I said I'd do Germany as well, Italy, too. She said she can only clean toilets there because she doesn't speak the languages and that I have to support her. I tried talking to her and telling her about her opportunities. She has way more opportunities than I do. She can easily earn a good salary in my country if she wishes to. She already earns enough without having to work yet she chooses to self sabotage and destroy my mental wellbeing. I did some calculations and without having a job, she earns way more than I do. She has property in her own name! She has a lot of gold, gold she can use in many productive ways.
Her mother told her she expected ME to work while my girlfriend adapts and finds a job here. She told her I’m selfish and I do not deserve her and I will never change and she should look for better guys. She wants my girlfriend to find a guy who’s able to buy her a luxury car.
My girlfriend also told me she wants me to become rich in 2-3 years because she wants a child and a luxury car. I told her I cannot change bureaucracy and but she just wouldn’t listen. She expects me to become rich after I graduate and doesn’t seem to understand how people climb up in their lives.
She doesn’t take care of her finances and decided she wouldn’t even try to save up money anymore. She was not happy when I told her I want to save up money before buying a house. She expects me to become responsible for her like we’d be married which I’m not doing and she’s not entitled to anything from me. We’re not cohabitating and we’re not married.
She also told me she contemplated suicide in high school and almost did it. She said she almost quit high school because she didn’t like it. She doesn’t like anything but have fun. One time she got mad at me for not wanting to get wasted with her. Anytime we talk about something no matter how trivial she starts philosophizing in a stupid way. She doesn’t know many words she’s using. I’m angry at her because she has so many skills yet she’s not doing anything. She’s wasting her time expecting prince Charming (me) to come and bring her to the castle. I'm not perfect either and I'm not asking for perfection. Now that I’m detached and I’m not having her next to me I see the whole picture clearer now.
I need advice on what would be best to do from a red pilled perspective. I do not expect solutions but honest opinions.
Thank you all!