This past week I have realized something. After one and a half year of self improvement with occasional breaks in between and/or with complete meltdowns where I went on drinking and fucking sprees I realized that I am in constant chase of something.
I chase the perfect phisique, career, women and sexual experiences, I chase comfort and "adventures" that are ultimately not worth it and do not fullfill me. All of it seems vain to me, people just come and go plates break and get replaced experiences such as threesome, bdsm partying for 2-3 days straight is very fun at the moment but leaves you empty once it passes. What direction should I go to be ok with myself? To be whole so to speak.
In my head the perfect image of "ALPHA" is somebody who is full, abundant, not seeking external stimuly to feel satisfied with life, who is strong and from his strength he provides kindness and abudance, he does not depend on anyone and anything only relying on his abilities and his internal strength. It seems to me that I have been focusing on wrong things in life. This realizitaion came after I fucked my GF's best friend and later had threesome with a randon fucked up and mentally damaged girl from a bar who loved being degraded. Sitting there and witnessing how she begged to be insulted and spit on made me realize that somewhere along following the TRP I turned the wrong way and instead of pursuing something noble I instead succumb to the temptions. I never had such experiences when I was a teenager but now that I do, I feel appaled.
Don't mean to sound like an edgy faggot, but I though sharing with you guys might get me a worthwhile answer. I am 25 at the moment and I want to change the direction of my life. Older guys please help me find the right pass to persue.
Thank you in advance redtards.
EDIT: Thank you all for the replies, I wanted to reply to all of you here. I do realize importance of so called "Killer Instinct" the desire to obtain things and experience life and get whatever the fuck you want. My question is more on the phylosophical side of redpill. What things are worth obtaining? I chased a threesome for quite sometime and recently something even better happened but in the process I just realized how perverted and dirty it is (Don't get me wrong still felt amazing). But is that trully what I want to allow to shape me? What is a more noble pursuit in life? I get that redpill is about doing what you want and maximizing your sexual value, but I am strongly convinced that there should be a deeper level of redpill. The ability to understand oneself completaly and be whole with yourself, to trully have abundance not just physically but mentally.
For example: When I have 3 Plates that are ready to fuck me I feel great but when they break I go into chasing mode again. But there are some people who are just so stoic and I can sense that their frame is unnafaceted by anything because they are so calm, collected and that comes from within them, outside factors like losing plates does not affect them at all. And these people are not even that rich or arrogant. I call them "NATURALS" but not in Alpha redpill "NATURAL" it is different, I can not articulate how at this moment.
I want to reach that level, I want to understand the path to that. It seems to me that just chasing and experiencing won't get me there.
And again thank you for taking time from your busy redtard schedule to indulge my faggotry.
moorekom 9y ago
I understand your conflict. I guess you want to be a role model for others. If that is what you want, chasing after pussy is not going to help. The people you look up to, they had to go through some turmoil to be where they are. They learnt along the way, improved themselves and developed a mentality where they don't let anything affect them. They have a code. You cannot be like them without going through a similar process. From now on that's your chase, if you want it.
PS: Listen to the Black Phillip show by Patrice O'Neal if you haven't already.
refusewool 9y ago
When I first discovered TRP I couldn't wait to employ newly learnt tactics and start fucking girls. With time, you realise that sex is overrated and does not bring happiness. Since maximising happiness is the goal, it's important to ask yourself what steps are needed to reach this goal.
For me, with a few years of RP knowledge and experience under my belt, it comes down to general self improvement. This manifests largely in the form of gym, career and hobbies. There is of course a social element as well. Ironically, as soon as you stop trying to fuck girls you get laid way more often. It's cliché, but when people in TRP preach that your mission should be your primary focus and women will come and go accordingly, they are telling the truth.
The self improvement game is a long journey and it's important to realise that 'Alpha' is more of a mentality than an end point. Always chasing something is fine if you're chasing the right things. Prioritise your needs and focus your energy accordingly.
[deleted] 9y ago
This is good stuff.
-MAurelius- 9y ago
Is this true? If I go to the gym and don't approach anybody there... I'm not going to meet anybody to fuck. If my hobby is video gaming... I'm not going to meet anybody to fuck.
You need exposure (outside of work, aka approaches) in order to be able meet women
refusewool 9y ago
I never have and never will approach at the gym. That's because the gym is my sanctuary and one place I believe the 'don't shit where you eat' rule absolutely applies.
I also never suggested that I don't or that you shouldn't approach women. I just said sex is not the sole motivator or goal anymore. I still get plenty of female exposure through social events and my hobbies (which don't include playing video games). I'm having more or at least as much sex as I had when all I could eat, sleep and breathe was sexual strategy, however the main difference now is that I'm happier and not left with a hollow feeling of emptiness every time I ejaculate inside a woman.
Archwinger 9y ago
Why do you want to stop chasing things? That drive to experience things, try new things, chase more things -- that's your edge. That's what sets you apart from fat Cheeto men playing video games in Mom's basement.
A man's capacity to succeed is based on two things: His drive, and his wisdom.
A guy with a lot of drive but no wisdom will constantly do the wrong things, fuck up, and fail at life. Picture a loser before The Red Pill trying to get girls. He's trying hard at life, but doing all the wrong things.
A guy with no drive will never amount to anything. Even if he has piles of wisdom, that just makes him better at arguing on the internet about how he shouldn't do anything because chasing shit is for losers and achieving shit is never worth the hassle of the hard work.
It's not about achieving shit. It's about experiencing life. Not all experiences are amazing. And no experience is going to complete you and make you feel fulfilled. But you don't want to die wondering what life was like or why you never bothered living it.
vorverk 9y ago
Realize that self improvement is the goal. Achieving goal gives you just a temporary happiness. You need to learn to love the process. There is no "end" goal where you achieve it and live hapily until the rest of your life. There is no completion.
https://youtu.be/Bq8oM0mo2n4
[deleted] 9y ago
You should always be "chasing" something.
It's up to you to decide what is your priority.
I think you're confusing external validation with goal seeking. Realizing your victories are actually hollow and shallow is a sign of growth. Learn from it.
There is no "lose". You succeed or you learn something by trying.
walawalawa 9y ago
The one thing you should never chase...is pussy.
The rest of what you describe is a path to self-improvement.
if you're not doing new things, exploring new ideas, exploring, then you're not growing.
ashleyshafer27 9y ago
Never stop chasing, that's what keeps us improving. Just make sure you're only chasing yourself and your goals.
cnzs 9y ago
Dude your literally asking us what to chase next because you're bored/unhappy about the current situation; honestly you're so bad that you're already chasing that idea of the stoic man and don't even notice it. Besides what's the fucking point in killing all desire for external stimuli if that's pretty much the basis of who you are? Do you understand what your asking for?