Hi,
my "typical" situation is, I meet a girl, I bang her on the 2nd date. It's getting boring. Also, after I bang her on the 2nd date I'm like "OK, we're done" and I stop contacting her for some longer time like week or two.
Recently I started thinking, maybe I do something wrong. I don't feel too much of an affection.
There was that new girl, I met with her for the first time, we played scrabble, had some tea, it was... it was fun. I'm not sure what can I do with her on the 2nd date (perhaps I'll try to bang her, because why do something boring in order to fuck later, if I can fuck earlier). BUT I had that crazy idea, maybe I should "vet" her longer, meet with her a few times and not bang her.
I wonder if this isn't a problem of my general approach, for example. In last year, I met 2 girls that were hot enough for me so I really wanted to bang them (HB "fuckyea"). The rest of the girls are Hb "meh" category. I like playing with them, so I can rehearse TRP stuff (which obviously works), but in general I feel fake, my affection towards them is so-so, and the result of this situations are posts like that.
Per Mark Manson, an average man meets an average girl and has average affection towards her, then they have average sex. Any ideas how can I bring this to some next level? Monk mode? Just ignore and accept and go on with my life? Ideas?
JackGetsIt 9y ago
You can 'vet' girls after banging them as well. It sounds like you're still in the anger stage a little bit and look down upon women for giving it up to you so quickly. Also remember that you're not going to find a unicorn. All women gravitate towards an average on IQ, looks, etc. and they all use a similar sexual strategy that's outlined in the sidebar because that's their biological impulse. Don't shame them or look down at them for this.
Also remember that boredom is in your head, if every sexual interaction is 'boring' it's you, not your partner(s). Boredom is self created. Also maybe kick down a notch on porn, drugs, alcohol, video games, tasty foods. You might be overstimulating dopamine and slipping into depression.
ex_addict_bro 9y ago
How?
Some give it up quickly, some don't. Basically I believe we all stick to some made-up standard ("sex on 2nd date") and I somehow think we believe if there is no sex, no affection, there is no use to meet again.
Not a single thing matches my lifestyle. I'm smiling now, it means I'm in the right place.
As for the rest of your comment, thank you.
JackGetsIt 9y ago
Normally you vet a girl you want as and LTR or marriage. After you've had sex with her get to know her better and figure out what type of person she is. Get to know her friends, family, background, n-count, etc. Then you can make a decision on plate status, dump or LTR. Sounds like your making you decisions very quickly. If you're not looking for and LTR you don't have to vet at all and you should be happy with the pump and dumping you outline in your post.
brooklynisburnin 9y ago
I got tired of average sex too, got into BDSM, weird as fuck but fun as hell.
Not saying you should do the same, but I like it.
ex_addict_bro 9y ago
Today I started to be more straightforward with the girls, a bit more dominating and it feels better. Not doing that BDSM stuff anytime soon, but thanks. Perhaps that's the way.
jeezydasnowman 9y ago
Have you read sgm?
ex_addict_bro 9y ago
After 2/3 I got bored with that. So much effort to chase some lousy pussy. On the other, recently I thought about becoming more and more dominate, I'm like - I'm not getting the fun I want so I may as well just act like a total asshole, dominate and such. That's a thought from 2 days ago so I really haven't implemented it yet. Do you suggest something like that?
jeezydasnowman 9y ago
Sgm is about making your sex more enjoyable ... might help you enjoy sex more. Surprised it bored you, it's one of my favorite books off the sidebar.
LittleRedBugs 9y ago
You need to cage the tiger. Always be in monk mode.
Make her want to fuck you, and do not incline that you want to have sex what so ever.
When the moment hits, give her what she wants, but remain yourself.
If you didn't want to bang these women, then you wouldn't have banged them. If you are wanting to find an LTR, then this is a whole other convo, and you need to vet and start establishing your criteria for LTRs.
Willem_Dafuq 9y ago
What are you even asking? If you want to have sex with a girl, go for it. If you don't, then don't. Only you know what these girls are looking for. We're not with you on these dates