Looking for advice from the more grown fellas on here.
Does anybody have any advice on how to properly balance scaling a business vs dating? Used to spend a lot of time messing with women in my early/mid 20s, but about a year ago, things in life changed and I completely switched my focus to entrepreneurship. Things have been fantastic in that sense. Making more money than I ever have, love what I do everyday, and love the control I have over my life. That said, I haven't been putting that much time into women. Have had a couple around that I put 0 effort into (they really choose me), but I obviously am not in it with them, nor look at them as somebody I'd like to be publicly associated with. Not in a they're ugly sense, but just I know how my history and know I can/should do better. I'm confident that if I put effort into that side of my life, I'll succeed, but with the success of my business and the nonstop nature of being my own boss/scaling, I obviously prioritize that, which leads to me not fulfilling the side of life with women. For example, though rusty, I'm definitely not scared/intimidated by women, but I'm never at bars/rarely at social events to even be in a position to make moves because I'm typically at home/out of town working. I'm not even worried about the spending part. To me, I see it as me spending time with somebody who can't provide real benefits to my business/my life financially. On a deeper level, at this point, I've kind of lost respect for a lot of women as so many get by on little qualities other than sexuality, and don't know what it's like to really work/earn something completely independently (i.e. run a business). That thought is in my head whenever I meet a pretty girl, and it just turns me off.
I'm conscious enough to know that there's something I could be doing wrong, so would appreciate any constructive criticism w/ respect to my POV and how I could be at fault w/ how I view things.
Overall, I'm not anxious about the priorities I've chosen per say, but just wanting to get back in the game without losing any momentum in business.
Thoughts?
mattyanon Admin 6d ago
Well..... only you can decide.
There's a sliding scale here....... what does 90% effort into your business look like?
What does 10% more effort into women look like?
The balance is yours and yours alone to make, and depends only on you.
Just don't think that having a woman or women will in any way be permanent or reward you in the long term - it won't.
MentORPHEUS Senior Endorsed 1w ago
Been there done that. Beware of women attracted to your wallet, putting on a short term mask of what they think you want in a woman. There's no level of success where women genuinely love you for you, more than their nature allows.
Also Beware of your own temptation to lavish a woman with the fruits of your success because you feel a twisted pride in your ability to do so. This can become a more insidious pitfall than the external to you wiles of women.
First-light 2 1w ago
Putting it out there that you are working on a fairly new business can bring in a mixed set of results from women. Overall I would say it was positive. Gold digger interest is not too high because its just a new business and you can see who is who quite easily. Good candidates actually want to help you -at least that was my experience and I felt a little guilty about it in the end when there was a candidate I did not pick (purely on looks) who had tried hard to help me.
Allocate yourself some you time to refresh yourself and allocate a small portion of it to looking for a woman. Treat that time like you would business time and actually go after your goal. Do not let this portion of your time grow. You need to relax in your down time as well as work and pursuing women is not really stress free relaxation.
shootinglikekobe 6d ago
W/ respect to not picking that girl, I find myself in a similar situation. W/ respect to that, if you could do it again, would you make a different choice?
First-light 2 6d ago
That's a tricky question because I think it did send my life in a different direction. I would probably have been a different guy by now if I had gone the other way.
In the end I remember telling my father "I just can't, I am too shallow" I just wanted an attractive woman too much. The one I chose instead was no help at all business wise and left me feeling very burnt but I had discovered how much I liked sex with attractive women. I got red pilled as hell by the experience and have never really trusted a woman again. I had children with 3 more women -all of whom were prepared to help to some extent in the business, not that I let them get too involved because I didn't trust women any more and wanted to be able to get out clean.
Had I picked the good girl and she was a good girl, I would probably still be blue pilled and would probably be married to her with a couple of kids if I had not messed up through my own character faults. On the plus side she was a family friend and both our parents thought it was a good idea. She was prepared to take me on as a divorced father. She had liked me since she was a little girl and I had taught her to shoot and rock climb. She was very probably a virgin, even though they all lie. But she was a 4 out of ten and had liberal parents. I would be a different guy.
On the plus side I did not behave badly and didn't lead her once once I saw what was happening -she was telling everyone we came into contact with that she was in love with me. I never laid a hand on her.
Oh you made me think back a bit there. I saw a lot more and did a lot more and am probably poorer, more bitter and wiser for it. Probably fitter and healthier than I would have been too. I wouldn't re-wind and change it. Hell I might have been a liberal if the worst had happened.
[deleted] 1w ago
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