A previous post on this sub introduced me to Kevin Samuels. And wow, is that guy on point! I highly recommend this one for his explanation of Pretty Privilege:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEZUz\_Dzks0
This is an incredible video, where he spends over an hour talking to a woman, poring over the details of her life, and actually makes her realize how much danger she's in i.e. the thin ice her entire life is built on which can come crashing down at any minute.
And it gets to the fundamental point we make here at WAATGM: women, especially pretty women, live their life with an intrinsic safety net: that there will always be a man to bail her out, no matter what shit she gets into. The WAATGM moment is when she needs that bailout and finds, to her horror, that it's gone, no one is left, and she's going to have to actually live with the consequences of her decisions.
Guys understand this very early in life. We have no bailout. Even with all of the Patriarchy in place [sic], it's not like some grand poobah hands every guy a 6-figure job and a lamborghini on our 18th birthday. Even the most rabid feminist has to admit that the only thing Patriarchy supposedly does is keep everyone *else* out of the applicant pool. But there are plenty of white, cis-het, male, <pick your privileged group> who pose plenty of competition even if you exclude women, minorities, transgenders, or whatever other oppressed group you support.
And so we learn very early on that no golden life is waiting for us, unless we start building it *now*. Typically, this realization comes in high school (sometimes earlier, when the bully beats you up on the playground and everyone laughs at you rather than rushing to help, and you realize even your physical safety can't be taken for granted). And we begin the long, hard process of building a good life, knowing that if we don't succeed, we can easily end up on the streets (men comprise 70% of homeless in the US).
This sense that there is no safety net means that, for all of the risk-taking supposedly embedded in toxic masculinity and testosterone, we are remarkably conservative (not necessarily in the political sense) when building our life. Sure, we might engage in some high risk behaviors like sports, but we also save money, plan for the future, and generally limit our risk-taking to stuff that can't actually bring our whole life down.
Women, especially beautiful women, are the real risk takers. They may not go skydiving (it'll mess up my hair!) but they mess with their lives in much riskier ways. Every guy who has dated at least a few drop dead gorgeous women has had the same epiphany at some point: as beautiful and kept together as their appearance might be, many of their lives are an absolute mess. Usually no education, shitty job, no meaningful career prospects, minimal family ties, living in some filthy hovel with a few equally deadbeat and crazy (but hot) roommates, stunning rates of alcoholism, drug use, mental health issues (SSRIs, anti-depressants), who can only afford ramen noodles on the nights she doesn't have a dinner date lined up. Which brings up the concept of Pretty Privilege (Samuels's term for it).
Any guy who lived like that would either shape up quick, or be on the streets soon. But pretty women don't have to shape up. Because a guy will always rescue them. Can't afford dinner tonight? A guy would starve. A pretty woman can fire up Tinder and be eating steak in an hour. Hate sleeping in your apartment because the whole building reeks of urine? A guy sticks cotton balls up his nose and hopes it's enough. A woman calls up on of her FWBs and spends the night under his silk sheets with a gorgeous view of the city when she wakes up. Can't make rent? A guy gets thrown out. A pretty woman begs her rich sugar daddy, her actual dad, or one of her numerous orbiters, who gives her the cash.
This extends to nearly every part of their life, which is why, in the years that men are building their lives (usually their 20s, and sometimes their 30s for some careers), women -- pretty women in particular -- are not. Why should they, when the high life is open to them already, and they can't fathom a time when it won't be?
The closest analogy in the male realm is probably trust fund kids who are born into wealth. They start with all the privileges of wealth, including stability, popularity, the ability to buy friendships, women, whatever you want, and the ability to recover from major mistakes (like bad education, drug use, crime, etc.) that would normally torpedo a regular person. The only difference is that wealthy kids can reasonably hope that their wealth continues throughout their life, and for many, it does. But women, no matter how beautiful, can always bank on that beauty going away at some point.
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Now getting to the video. It's a long one, so I'm going to give you the most important timepoints:
27:50 - The call starts. And the girl asks "I don't know if me having standards is getting in the way of finding the man I want." Right away, you can sense her attitude: she's perfect. If she can't find a decent man, it's because there are none that fit her "reasonable" standards. Samuels biggest point is always "are you the type of woman, the man that you want, is looking for?"
Samuels also asks her her age, height, weight, dress size, which establishes that she is good looking. Pretty.
29:00 - Samuels cuts to the point and ask her what level of income she's looking for in her partner. And that helps him make his first point. Women have no idea what it takes to provide the type of life they say they want. Why would they? If you're pretty, such a life is just handed to you. You never had to ask "how much".
32:20 - The delusion is laid bare. The caller wants to be a stay-at-home mother with 3 kids in the most expensive area of the nation (Bay Area) and thinks that can be done for $80k.
38:45 - Samuels says, okay you're hot. But after we have sex, what else do you offer? And the caller stumbles. That's all she has ever needed to offer.
43:55 - The caller says she's going through life by trial and error. And Samuels defines Pretty Privilege: the ability to make catastrophic mistakes in life, that would sink other women who are less pretty, and still survive.
54:30 - Samuels starts exploring the catastrophic mistakes she's made in her life.
58:50 - Interesting point about how easily women will lie and expect to get away with it (post for another day :-)
[The next 20 minutes are a great piece about the importance of fathers in raising sons]
So to tally up the mistakes this woman has made:
- no education
- single mother
- Moved far away from her son's father for no good reason
- unskilled, poorly paid, highly insecure (i.e. can be fired very easily) job, essentially competing with illiterate recent immigrants
- no family support
This is a very risky life. If an ugly woman had made these mistakes, she would have to resign herself to a very, very difficult life with diminished prospects for happiness, and most likely a grueling struggle just to provide the bare necessities for herself and her son. And even then, she has a high risk of falling off for any type of adverse event (job loss, sickness, unplanned expense) and ending up homeless, destitute, or having her child taken away from her. Samuels tries to convince her that at this point in her life, she can barely take care of herself, let alone her son, and that she is in danger of messing things up royally not just for herself, but for her son.
[And let's forget about men in this situation: most of the welfare system in the U.S. is centered around helping single mothers. A man in this situation is usually much worse off and much more likely to end up homeless or dead from an illness he can't afford to treat. And his chances of improving his life are basically nil unless he makes a Superman-level effort to start correcting his mistakes]
But a woman as pretty as the original caller doesn't see this until Samuels points it out to her. Because until then, she's always been able to rely on her beauty to bail her out. It takes about an hour of additional talking to finally make this break and get through to her about how precarious her life really is. Even now, rather than focusing on the risks she's facing, she expects that, even from her current position, after all her mistakes, her beauty is enough to carry her to an entirely different life: a stable marriage to a high value guy, kids, luxury, and a white picket fence in the most expensive region in the country.
And the truth is, it still might. She's only 26, apparently still quite attractive. As Samuels tells her, if she sends her son to live with his father, she still has a chance of attracting the guy she wants and getting the life she wants. But that window is closing.
IOW, she's on the cusp. She's starting to ask WAATGM because she hasn't been able to find one yet and is starting to get nervous. If she makes some changes in her life she can still recover from her mistakes and get rescued (unlike her less attractive counterparts). But if she waits a few more years and her beauty and fertility starts to fade, those guys she's after will no longer be interested.
The true WAATGM moment will come when her beauty fades and she realizes just how much she was relying on her pretty privilege, and what it means now that it's gone and will never come back. Living her life "by trial and error", with no real plan or work on creating a stable, safe life, relying on your looks (and the men that are drawn to them) to rescue you from any mistake you might make, is a terrible life plan once the looks go away. But many women never realize that, so blinded as they are by their pretty privilege, until it's too late. And then their desperate OLD posts get featured on our sub :-)
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NoonTimeHoopsMVP 2y ago
Seeing women for what they are is not hating.
[deleted] 2y ago
Women are unable to grasp the fact that there is no safety net for men.
I would tell this to my ex-wife all the time: "you've spent your whole life being protected and provided for by men. First your father, now me. You don't know what it's like to know that failure has consequences."
Women, until they hit that critical point, will always have men to take care of them and shelter them from their shitty choices.
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ogrilla99 Mod 2y ago
Lots of guys rescue women. Many of those single mothers do get married, or at least boyfriends for some time.
Do men do this out of the goodness of their hearts? Of course not. With all due respect, you're missing the point. Of course guys are nice to pretty women because they want to fuck them. That's the whole point of pretty privilege. The question is, what do they do as a result of this desire to fuck them? And this is where the privilege part comes in. Lots of guys will buy these women dinners, pay for their unsustainable lifestyles, rescue them from their own mistakes, smile and compliment them on every aspect of their life, etc. etc. etc. All for the chance to get in their pants. Some of them succeed. But succeed or not, all those guys trying to fuck them end up helping these women a ton. The privilege isn't the fucking. The privilege is everything guys to do get a chance at the fucking. And that allows "pretty" woman to live far more dangerously, take on far more risks, do far less of their own work / preparation, then other people (both guys and women who aren't as good looking) must do.
ImJoeyWhoDis 2y ago
Average-looking women are better mates. Hell I'll take an ugger if she is my soul-mate. The pretty ones have massive ego's and insecurities. Some guys love that shit but they always end up paying for it in the end. These women DO NOT NEED YOU.
h6d 2y ago
Great post
braucifur 2y ago
Way too many pretty women live day to day and on emotion. Even when they supposedly get an education the vast majority of the time it's in some fluff field that doesn't compensate well like the social sciences or psychology. But they will take that degree in intersectional feminist studies and truly believe they are equal to a boring male dominated field like engineering despite there being no intellectual rigor in their field of study.
Then they get baby rabies in their 30s and for them they want the Chad seed but the Beta bucks so you better beware and ensure it's yours.
A similar experience would be, and I didn't notice this at the time, was on college graduation day some years ago (before the apps): a pretty girl who had banged almost half my fraternity came up to me and was almost hitting on me. I was invisible to her before that day and it was the strangest thing to me because I didn't see the situation for what it was: she was likely from a much less populous/boring part of the state and likely didn't want to go back there. Despite banging half my fraternity she wasn't able to get any of them to commit to her and she knew the dick buffet was about to end and the cold reality of going home to a boring life terrified her so her hypergamus nature went into overdrive trying desperately at the last social event she would see many of us who she ignored before to try to latch on to. Her time was about to run out and she perceived this and only then was she willing to "settle". I did not hook up with her nor move the conversation beyond small talk.
GiantOfTheSouthSky 2y ago
Telling the truth is misogyny, OP.
Saianna 2y ago
it was pretty good stuff to listen to, thanks.
houseoftolstoy Mod 2y ago
Excellent post. And welcome to the mod team.
While not the main topic of this post, there is a funny thing about "male privilege." Those that believe that men have privilege just for being men are making all the wrong assumptions about the successful men they see. Most men do not get a hand up just for being men, and that is exactly why men are able to be successful. Because they have to do so on their own merits. Those merits allow them to genuinely rise to the top. Meanwhile, anyone who is elevated to a position based solely on a characteristic such as sex, race, or any other category, often finds themselves unable to maintain good standing in their position because they never found out on their own merits how to succeed. Success for them was granted but not truly earned (ironically it exactly how those who talk about "white male privilege" claim those men got there).
Your discussion on attractive women not being able to succeed on their own merits is right on the money. While being pretty does not mean a woman will fall down this path, being able to have a lack of consequences for poor decisions means that these women will be far less likely to learn not to make such poor decisions. Bad choices need to have the bad consequences follow in order for anything to be learned. And when they are bailed out from their bad choices, the lessons become lost, and these women are far more likely to repeat their mistakes.
In a way, this privilege for these women is a curse. Sure, they can have a lot of good fortune early in life due to their looks, but if they rely only on those looks, then they will receive a very hard lesson on why relying on your looks alone is not the key to a happy and successful life. Because when the looks fade, you are only left with the person you are outside of those looks. And if there is nothing more to you than your looks, is there really anything to you?
[deleted] 2y ago
Katie Price, was a millionaire but became a single mother and now she's millions in debt I heard?
[deleted] 2y ago
KS made a good point about this woman's son - that single mothers cannot make boys into men. He says essentially this at roughly 1:11:00:
[deleted] 2y ago
I can tell you right now - KS' caller supplements her income with
--dates
--GoFundMe
--
prostitutionsugar babying--the occasional boyfriend here and there just throwing a few Benjamins her way
She lives in a small town in Washington state, alone, with her 6 year old son whom she had at 20, works as a receptionist and "does nails on the side". She is not earning enough to live on her own. Child support is not enough to make ends meet. So she's getting a few hundred every month from other men. Some other men are once in a while buying her gas or groceries.
This is how single moms are doing it - freeloading off other men, or
turning trickssugaring. This isn't even a value judgment or moralizing. These are simple statements of fact - this is how poor, lower class and working class single moms are making ends meet.vtec__ 2y ago
lots of single moms on sugar baby sites
[deleted] 2y ago
You should make this an announcement and sticky it to the top.
moorekom Mod 2y ago
It is stickied in the main sub and should remain stickied there for at least a couple of days. I want to have the current two stickied posts in this sub remain there for a while longer. We can unpin one of them and sticky this probably this weekend.
cc: u/typo-magashiv, u/ogrilla99
moorekom Mod 2y ago
u/kevin32, u/loneliness-inc, u/deeplydisturbed1
Aaod 2y ago
3 times that income would not be enough in the bay area maybe 5 or 6 times that amount MIGHT be enough? Even in the bay area who makes $400,000-$480,000+ a year? 3%? maybe 5%? of the guys there? None of which are going to date a single mother with three god damn kids.
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[deleted] 2y ago
That’s the reality where I am, too. The vast majority of people I associate with attract, and choose to be with, people like them, both from an intellectual and financial perspective.
I actually don’t know a single woman, or man, who depends on a man’s income for their stability and safety.
Overkillengine 2y ago
I liken this to the aesop of the Grasshopper and the Ant. Just don't make the mistake of letting the grasshopper leech off you for the winter, they will not repay the favor or even be grateful. Make them work for it!
panzer22222 2y ago
lol, this is so true.
moorekom Mod 2y ago
u/ogrilla99
As a mod, you can cross post this to WAATGM to get more traffic to the post. Please lock the comments there if you choose to cross post so that the comments are redirected here.
Additionally, I would also like to ask you to sign up at forums.red and to copy paste this post there so that it is available at an alternate location in case this one gets taken down by reddit. In the future, posting it there and then sharing the link here might be a better idea to avoid reddit censorship as well.
ogrilla99 Mod 2y ago
Done and done. Thanks for the recommendations!
moorekom Mod 2y ago
Cc: u/Typo-MAGAshiv, u/kevin32.
Jihocech_Honza 2y ago
I have a perfect example of messed up life of a beauty, documented:
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1533061/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2
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SwinginPastMyKnees_ 2y ago
Not only is he on point with his assessments, you see first-hand the bad behavior to look for in women.
In the past, I would have been phased with the "you must hate women" or "you're a closeted gay guy" types of comments. Now I just see that shaming tactics are the go-to response from women when they want the topic changed back to you.
KidPowered17 2y ago
Excellent synopsis. I’ve been a fan of Mr Samuels for over a year now, and he rarely misses when it comes to staying on topic and holding the unreasonable women accountable.
[deleted] 2y ago
Had this young, very pretty student (25 yo. writing her thesis right now) help me with a study about Connectivity regarding the rail sektor these past weeks. Did some experimentation on what kind of data traffic was generated regarding specific apps and devices.
First time she showed up I could tell she was interested. Second time she showed up, she was dolled up hard. Especially her lips and eyes. Looked like a porn-star. She wanted something from me, whether she thought I'd provide her with leverage regarding her career or she just wanted to f*ck me, it's not too relevant here. What is, is that she knew as soon as she wanted something, she just started trying to be as pretty as possible.
During conversations, she kept trying to tell me about her being hard working, while trying to hammer the point home as to how unfair it was that guys perceived girls as less brave and active. She was also sprinkling in some nuggets like "If I think a guy is hot, I'll still never approach him. I don't see the point in doing that" - to which I replied "With that mindset, I'd still be a virgin" which made her laugh. There were several of these instances: Complaining about being seen as weak, then revealing that she was too weak to be bold.
She was completely oblivious to the fact that she was disproving her own position, both with words and actions. As soon as her looks fade, she'll be dead in the water. And it's not like she doesn't have a choice. She is actively refusing to grow.
Seen too many of these in my life. Would be sweet, if it wasn't for their arrogance.
Thinguy123 2y ago
A woman greatest strength, is her weakness
A Man greatest weakness, is his strength
Edit: a little more explaination
When a woman plays the weakness card, its actually applying her best card (which is itself an strength of course)
When a woman plays up to your strength, its hitting you on your weak spot.
InevitableOwl1 2y ago
It’s shocking how many people don’t realise this
The great example are the FDS kweens (but it isn’t uniquely them). The people who hold up Beyoncé as a paragon of what a (black) woman can achieve - since that is the majority of the membership of that sub
They boil certain things down to race (as do all the wokeists) and so just point to Beyoncé with the unspoken message being “she’s black and look at what she has managed to do”
No. Just no. She is gorgeous and super talented. She is not a comparison point anyone should be making
*
But you see it all the time. Women who’ve been doing “holiday type” jobs overseas throughout their early 20s and sometimes longer. You see it on their profiles “just got back from 3 years in x” at 28-30.
Sure a guy can do that. But getting some stability especially if they don’t already have skills . Hell I took what ended up being just over half a year out of work and it almost reset my progress. Women at my job can go on maternity leave and get promoted on return. I take a break and basically have to “get another year or two of experience” under my belt. That is a different privilege though
Or you can see attractive women working as servers or in supermarkets and only deciding when close to 30 that they better learn something else
chuck-u_farley 2y ago
No one cares what her skin color is. She is hot, talented, has a round ass, and flaunts her shit....THAT is why she is successful.
Vespasians 2y ago
Apex fallacy. The male equivalent is watching tens of thousands of men invest their youth and then fail at getting into the NFL and thinking you'll be the lucky one.
InevitableOwl1 2y ago
The big big difference is men have that fantasy dismissed by 18 (21 at the latest) and then move on
For women their delusion seems to START at 18. And for many it goes on for a minimum of 10 years . Few try to take things seriously until they suddenly realise they are going to be unmarried and childless at 30. And they freak out. I have been on the wrong side of this twice
But for some this gets pushed later and later as has been seen in many online videos and posts. And I even know someone who has worked in a supermarket up to 28 and is just now trying to sort out a different career. Also dated someone whose first year as a teacher was at 28. And they bring the same energy to relationships
My latest tinder match (who I have no intention of messaging) is 28 and has a profile that says “happy on my own , just looking for casual fun dates and maybe more if there is a connection”
That is open admission that she is not serious about her relationship status (yes I know it is tinder) and that she is bored and wants to be entertained. And “if there is a connection” is basically a very clear - “if you are hawt”.
I am not so I can already see the entire thing would a waste of energy. I am half tempted to message and ask what fun date idea she has in mind. But we all know that is my job (and my shout in terms of paying i expect)
Also reminds me of an Eastern European girl who i went on a date with. At the end I asked her if she’d want to see me again and she said yes. When I pressed this via message she got evasive and eventually admitted she didn’t intend to pursue anything more serious. She openly admitted she was on the app the meet guys and do “fun activities”. Her words. So just expected entertainment without offering anything in return other than her company
Then when they get close to 30 they wail and compare themselves to their friends who have successful relationships (or even those who are stuck in unhappy ones that are “socially successful” in terms of resulting in marriage and kids). Conveniently ignoring that said friends had worked on said relationships for years and started earlier. No - new person she meets has to offer the same as the multi year guy her bestie has been with since 22 and who the bestie has supported along the way
KoloGupta 2y ago
Fantastic observation. I never connected the two together. Looking back, yes, it's at this point that all the ones I dated/knew started taking their career a bit more seriously. I doubt it was due to giving a shit about having a career. It was to give themselves access to higher tier men.
She actually is extremely serious about finding a relationship. At this point she believes she still has time, so "not looking for a relationship" is to filter out non-Chads. What she is trying to do is to lure Chad. She won't waste too much time trying to convince him to commit, and will try to execute Operation Hail Baby, if he's not committing within a few days.
It's also a filter to give non-Chads the illusion that they may have a chance of getting some kitty. After an expensive dinner date, of course.
When she hits about 32, she'll "lower her standards" from Chad to any man who looks successful. By 34, she'll take any man with a decent job. She'll make the non-Chads perform like circus elephants first, of course, turn try to flog commitment out of them. As always, when all else fails, so will her "birth control".
braucifur 2y ago
I was thinking about the fact of the other day why reversible male BC aside from condoms has always been a few years away for the past thirty years but it's never here.
And I suspect much of the reason is due to those who seek to control the power dynamics over reproduction. As it stands now if you want condomless sex and she wants a baby she can have that baby if she's still fertile. And for the birth control pill to be successful 99% of the time and only fail 1% of the time I sure as heck know a lot of 1%ers. The 99:1 ratio becomes 80:20 with baby rabies.
The left wants the status quo that if you want condomless sex without having an irreversible procedure done the female has control over reproduction full stop. This is why there hasn't been any sensible male BC options the past several decades.
KoloGupta 2y ago
It's the same reason why prostitution is illegal and sex dolls are "r4pe against women". Women know that without sex, they'll have to put actual work into becoming useful wives and human beings.
Women benefit greatly when men are desperate for sex. This only lasts until the women hit expiry, but they don't figure this out until it's late.
If prostitution were legal, men wouldn't put up with a tenth of the crap women pull. Let's face it, we can skip over the love and companionship crap.
The other part of it is spending. Women's idea of value is based on how much money is spent on an item. The more expensive something is, the more "valuable" it is. Name brand crap and jewelry are two things that immediately come to mind.
If you want to be successful at selling an item, market to women. They'll follow one-another like a herd, and force men into line. Businesses and corporations benefit greatly.
In my experience, if a female doesn't want to get pregnant, she will be adamant about it. Baby Rabies 28-38 category excluded, of course.
braucifur 2y ago
And if she says "unsure" about kids what she means is she wants to scan you down for resources and if you have enough of them hell yea it's baby time. If not she will move on.
There is no such thing about a woman "unsure" of kids. That's just code for they want kids but they don't want to scare off guys at first glance.
It's even funnier the older they get especially past 35 if they want kids they are getting to the point of just letting rando Chads bust in them for that baby.
What does a woman who is in her mid/late 30s who wants kids bring to a relationship? There's no time left in her fertility runway for any sort of fun together. Nope its diaper changing time and responsibility right off the bat. Fuck no that juice is certainly not worth the squeeze. She squandered her 20s playing the field when she should've been dating at her level to find a guy to bond with and have fun with for a few years first prior to baby making time. Now she is trying to desperately trade her gash for a guy her level for his BetaBucks without any of the fun she had in her 20s with Chads.
Women in their mid/late 30s & beyond on these apps who want kids I just laugh at. They truly have no conception that they really don't bring much to the table. I'll take Rosy Palms eight days a week over what they are offering.
KoloGupta 2y ago
Nasty creatures, that age group. In addition, they shit-test furiously. They constantly try to start fights, say shit to infuriate you, and play nonstop games.
I've had some say some goofy shit to me right as I was about to undress them. They then couldn't figure out why I refused to touch them and walked. It's been years, but all but one are still single. Some couldn't understand why I wasn't smitten and begging to commit after they gave up mediocre poon.
They get even worse when they can't figure out how much a man has in resources. They blow hot and cold, randomly disappear and reappear and set extremely angry and resentful when they think their mark doesn't meet their "standards" and "check all the boxes".
They are to be avoided at all costs.
InevitableOwl1 2y ago
Oh this was the video where he told a woman to give her kid to the father . I recall that coming up. To the shock of no one that was met with screams of outrage and response videos from women who simplified his entire message to this
pdoherty972 2y ago
I used to tell friends something similar to this decades ago; that super-attractive women were less likely to have developed personalities, character or any of the other trappings we expect from adults. They simply have had everything handed to them without effort - why would they expend extra effort?
KoloGupta 2y ago
Terrible in bed as well. Too used to having to put no effort in.
chuck-u_farley 2y ago
Cadaverus Fuckicus
KoloGupta 2y ago
Exactly this.
OwenWentFullMGTOW 2y ago
Very true. I dated a Perfect 10 once upon a time. And she was unbearable. Super negative and caustic, impossible to be around. I had misgivings about her from the jump but I stupidly let others talk me into taking her on a few dates anyway. I've had root canals that were more enjoyable than spending time with that miserable wretch.
She was amazingly hot. And amazingly insufferable.
CatRelocator 2y ago
I realized that to a little in middle school. Hot girls didn't even need to develop a personality or sense of humor, they just needed to sit still and look pretty to be liked; and most did.
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chuck-u_farley 2y ago
Also very easy to spot at dowtown bars after 8:00 pm. They stayed late another night at their unsatisfying office job and are dreading going home to their cats.
[deleted] 2y ago
So why do men care about looks? Why don’t they select a woman based solely on personality?
ogrilla99 Mod 2y ago
Depends on what I'm looking for. If it's a one night stand, then it's going to be pretty much purely a physical attraction thing. If it's a short term (few weeks/months) thing then some balance of looks and personality, with great looks outweighing significant personality defects as long as I'm able to tolerate hanging out with her for a few hours at a time (lots of beautiful women surprisingly don't even clear this fairly low bar for personality). And if it's long term, then primarily personality, with physical attractiveness important but secondary.
At least, that's the way I choose my relationships. I'll admit I didn't always choose this way, and plenty of men, for better or for worse, don't choose this way. That's why pretty privilege exists, after all.
Edit:
I'll also say this (call it a humble brag if you want), I'm desirable enough that I feel that I *can* go after the unicorns of beautiful women who are also smart, kind, loyal, and have great personalities. They do exist, just like the mythical Alpha Bucks also exist. But they're rare, and they have enough attention from both good and bad guys that you need to be equally valuable to have a chance to attract them.
For most guys, who aren't able to attract these types of women, they'll need to decide what significant parts of that puzzle they're willing to give up. Some give up personality in exchange for a hotter woman. Some go the other way. Others give up other parts of that package. It all depends on what they want. Some of those are "good" decisions (i.e. lead to the type of relationship that the guy is looking for), and some of them are "bad" (i.e. blow up in their face :-) I'm not saying all guys (including myself) always make perfect decisions.
KoloGupta 2y ago
Men are attracted to beauty and youth. It's biologically wired, the same way women are attracted to looks and money, preferably from the same man.
Personality only comes into play for long term consideration.
RabbitNRaccoon 2y ago
I agree. I don't think caring about looks is 100% a bad thing. However I think that men who allow physical appearance to heavily dictate who they choose (and not character) will end up unhappy.
As they should.
Never believe a man when he tells you what he wants Inna relationship. Look at his partner and it will tell you the truth.
I have observed a lot of men (especially in the RP spaces) saying they want XY and Z in a women, but the woman they are dating has none of these traits but she is attractive AF. Which means they are making an exception for her.
And when they get burned, I give them no sympathy or pity.
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KoloGupta 2y ago
Hair, nails, shoes, clothes, purses, cosmetics, etc. We know these girls are not buying the cheap items because a high status girl deserves the finer things in life.
Jihocech_Honza 2y ago
There is a habit in my country to call all women that are not "miss" anymore "young lady". And everyone knows, when you are called "young lady", you are not young anymore.
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Jihocech_Honza 2y ago
We are called "laughing beasts" for a reason.
Roauster 2y ago
Ya I realized this a while back. That I would work until I die or until I set myself free and that whatever hole I get into I'm the only one getting myself out. Everything I do is with a purpose now. The stakes are high, life is hard, and 99% of women today will hit you with a leg sweep while you're trying to keep the world from destroying you.
LionThrow2326 2y ago
more like 100%, not just 99
Scourmont 2y ago
I'm in the process of setting myself free, hopefully in the next few months I won't have to work again for the rest of my life. Then I can retire to the South of France.
Euphoric-Cycle1688 2y ago
very pog
Blackbarnabyjones 2y ago
THIS.
Roauster 2y ago
Lol, I've noticed that when men go through struggles their women don't help pick up the slack even for a little bit. They seem to just crank up the pressure and if the guy doesn't rebound fast enough the woman ejects with whatever she can get. This is personal experience though. Guy struggles at work for a bit and woman leaves. Guy has a death in the family that hits him hard and woman cheats then leaves. Guy gets injured at work and put on disability woman leaves. I look around and see men loosing motivation left and right. It's actually really sad.
Ok_Management4634 2y ago
How very true. That's a hard lesson most men have to learn. Women sell men on the idea that women will be "supportive". That can't be farther from the truth. When bad times come, women crank up the pressure for the man to "Fix" it. Women will definitely bail on a man at the first hiccup in life. If a man is in a relationship with a woman (not recommending it), he should never tell her any problems going on. Keep her in the dark. Telling her will not make the man feel better, get support, etc.. Telling her will make the problem worse.
braucifur 2y ago
This is entirely the making of the left's institutions like the MSM & academia. They want to destroy the nuclear family so they can imbue socialism to give even more power to the women. From this perspective they seem to be winning sadly.
ImJoeyWhoDis 2y ago
*They want to destroy the nuclear family so they can imbue socialism to give even more power to the government and the elites.
3HardWay 2y ago
When the horse has a broken leg, you have to put it down. No use crying over it. Get a new horse.
Fraternities existed so that men could be more than fodder for the world. Society does its best now to cut off men from everything that could allow a man to feel value.
braucifur 2y ago
This is why the left hates Fraternities. Can't have a bunch of guys having fun and enjoying one another's company in any sort of formalized setting. That is so....privileged!
OwenWentFullMGTOW 2y ago
I lived this once upon a time. Before my RP, I was rly struggling to make a living. Jobs were hard to come by no matter how good you were. You probably remember the armpit of the Bush/Obama economy. Back then, people with degrees were jockeying cash registers at the Taco Bell down the street from where I lived. It's not like I was immune to the economic havoc going on.
And the woman in my life at the time had zero tolerance. I wish I could tell you what all she did to make my life so much harder than it already was. It would make you sick.
Of course, living well is the best revenge. I'm doing great these days in terms of assets and finances, let's say that. Meanwhile, she's just another broke ass, post-wall Millennial with no marketable skills to speak of and Chad's bastard child to take care of. Her chances of snagging even a beta bux provider are pretty remote at this point.
vtec__ 2y ago
the 2010s were tough, man. unless you came from money or were just unlucky to not have to experience that dumpster economy, it was tough. ALOT of people were taken out during those years due to the economy and drug overdoses
Ragnarok314159 2y ago
No, you are correct.
I have been alive a while and have seen women that truly stand by their man. They are also capable of having a wide breadth of friendships, and I am friends with them to this day. They are the ones that you can rely on like any other friend, but can really call on a bad day and get the “woman hug” kind of feeling.
Most are not like this. My ex wife was like this. I have PTSD from my deployments, and she would just roll her eyes and do a “just get over it already” to me. “It happened so long ago, who cares.” Meanwhile, her troubles were exhaustive and massive, can you believe that Bath and Bodyworks doesn’t have the pillow I want!!!! I ordered this outdoor furniture and it came with the wrong slip cover, what will the neighbors think?!?!?! My battle buddy who just killed himself? Who fucking cares, get over it.
I am wondering it there is a taught narcissism that has had an exponential increase with social media like Facebook. You have otherwise good people that instead create this false narrative that everything must be sunshine and joy, and if it’s not then it’s everyone else’s fault for not creating it. The American dream has morphed from a suburban house and stable job to whatever the fuck Susie is doing on Facebook to one up Sally.
deckran 2y ago
It's a common occurence nowadays. Women are not meant to provide for a man. No matter what bs womanists try to preach, they just can't do it for a sustainable amount of time. She will lose attraction and respect for him every time. A man has to keep frame as they say at all times. That's why some channels i watch say to never cry or get emotional with your problems infront of a woman. Just give her the basic gist of it and say you'll take care of it. If you need to vent do it among other men or to a therapist.
0verridden 2y ago
Or y'know, bust and move. What value is an association that hinges on you behaving like Johnny Bravo all the time.
If one lands on your lap, bust and move. I don't get this whole hold frame idea. If a woman cannot provide the most basic of humane functions, which is empathy, then stop rewarding her with your company. Do you continue associating with sociopathic friends? Of course, not. Then don't associate with sociopathic women. And if all the women in your life are sociopathic, then they don't need to be in your life. Bust. And. Move.
HoopEaringAttitude 2y ago
Fucking gospel
moorekom Mod 2y ago
Well said.
Blackbarnabyjones 2y ago
It's not sad. It's terrible.
Sad is an emotion.
Terrible is an outcome.
The outcome is terrible. It has far more negative connotations than just sadface.
Who needs emotions clogging it up?
WOMEN. WOMEN DO.
Women need EMOTIONS CLOGGING EVERYTHING UP OR THEIR GAME DOESN'T WORK.
It is a terrible outcome that some male living being must overcome or endure.
Overkillengine 2y ago
Or if the dude has temporary employment issues due to factors outside his control and the woman knows she can't just up and leave (lack of options).
What does she default to? Treating the dude like absolute shit.
And this treatment will continue even if the dude manages to find a new job. All because she saw a moment of weakness, and weakness in men is something women do not forgive.
OwenWentFullMGTOW 2y ago
\^ This. All of this.
WornBlueCarpet 2y ago
As Joker from Better Bachelor expresses it: A lot of women are having fun in their 20's, and when they are ready to settle down, they wait around near the finish line looking for a winner - husband material - who they can latch onto and say "we made it!".
panzer22222 2y ago
One of my guilty pleasures was reading /fds, one of their core pieces of advice is to never date a man that isnt already at the finish line.
The idea that these 30s, single mothers will only accept a guy that is +$200k pa, makes my day.
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panzer22222 2y ago
Large number of '/living with genital warts' posts as well
Blackbarnabyjones 2y ago
TRUTH!
ogrilla99 Mod 2y ago
It's actually worse than that. Women aren't waiting around any finish line. There are races being run all the time. Women fuck the winner from whichever race just completed, then move on to the next race, and the next race, and so on, until finally she decides to pick one "winner" to be the one that she'll spend the rest of her life with. Usually this winner is either a unicorn like an Alpha Bucks that she knows she'll never find better, or it's a beta bucks that she isn't really attracted to, but she senses that it's getting increasingly difficult to compete for the winners, and this may be her last chance to snag one.
When you're in your early twenties, you'll notice that lots of the hottest women are dating rich, successful men in their thirties and beyond. Sometimes as outright sugar daddy-type arrangements. IOW, they're not waiting around to see which one of you will win the race and become successful. Ain't got no time for that. They fuck whomever the latest winners are and don't really care about whatever struggles you might have in your race.
Being in the race with you would imply she hitches herself to you at an early stage, and both of you work to win the race together.
Waiting at the finish line at least implies she's rejecting everyone else and waiting to see if you win this one race before committing to you.
Neither is what most women do. They find the nearest race that's completing, hang out with that winner. Then when she gets tired, move on to whatever the latest winner is, and so on. Sometimes she ends up landing on you (for the above reasons). Sometimes she never does. Either way, no one's waiting for you.
ArchDemonKerensky 2y ago
Good shit, thanks for sharing.