A community for men to share their stories and perspectives on the "Where are all the good men?" subject. Also the sister tribe of WhereAreAllTheGoodMen.
DeeplyDisturbed1
Posted 2y ago in Uncategorized - Permalink - Locked - 3K Views
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Rules of conduct:
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1. No shaming men for any reason.
- 2. No white-knighting or NAWALT. This is not a debate sub.
Rules for submission:
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3. Submissions must be an essay which addresses the "Where are all the good men?" subject. Personal stories, theories, venting, and even how awesome life is as a MGTOW are all welcomed, but ultimately the reader should be able to understand from your perspective why women can't find a "good man", or why good men are avoiding commitment. Our Recommended Reading list contains great examples that fit our theme.
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4. Essays should span more than a small paragraph. Short, low-effort posts will be removed.
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5. No debate posts ("What do you guys think of x?"), or posts seeking advice on relationships or personal matters.
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6. Articles from the internet are allowed provided it fits the theme, but cite the source at the top of the post, followed by your analysis/perspective. (Example)
- 7. Endorsed members may crosspost their essay to WhereAreAllTheGoodMen for greater visibility on the weekends, but PM the mods so that we can allow the crosspost.
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John_Savage69 2y ago
That story about picking up was exactly my life with the ex-wife. The house was a constant disaster. COnstantly bending over to pick up all the random shit she left around. Dishtowels, shoes in the middle of the floor; coats thrown on couches instead of hung in the closset. She said "its a home, not a castle." Accused me of being OCD, which I had to correct her on because OCD people require things to be in a particular order; I just need there not to be shit everywhere--don't really care where you put it or what system you use--just have A system. So, I stopped "trailing behind her" as she would say and soon it was time for a visit from my folks. House was a complete disaster and I refused to pick up all her her and the kids shit, saying "what, don't you wan't to show off our 'lived in' home"?
Mission-Document5257 2y ago
I dated two women like this. I thought they were supposed to be the tidy ones?
Impressive-Cricket-8 Endorsed 2y ago
Some may be tidy, but there really is no middle ground: either she's a functional adult or her life is a dumpster fire. And nowadays it tends to be the latter.
Blackbarnabyjones 2y ago
I ONCE got in the car of a Co-worker who wanted to fuck me. Aand I was leaning that way too.
HERE CAR WILL FILLED WITH TRASH, MCDONALD'S WRAPPERS and just shit trash upto about KNEE-LEVEL.
I FUCKING WENT WHITE with a REVELATION.
If that is How you keep your car, HOW DO YOU KEEP YOUR VAGINA?
YOUR LIFE.
It was the Bosses Sister. AND it was the END of Barnaby goes to FlirtyTown.
Mission-Document5257 2y ago
Yup, last GF was like this. Worse, she had no sense of smell, so her truck always reeked. She asked me to let her know - and got mad at me when I did. She basically blamed everything on me for years.
DeeplyDisturbed1 2y ago
Exactly my issue too. The house is still a mess when I am done, but I can tolerate a "regular" mess. But it was REAL bad at times.
John_Savage69 2y ago
I can't comprehend how people live like that. That level of mess and disorder actually causes me anxiety/unsettledness. I either have to clean it or leave.
Well, at least now I may be poorer, but I have my own place that is clean; the kids know they have to pick their shit up when they are here otherwise I will toss it; and they do so with minimal complaining.
Whenever the ex comes over to pick them up, she always has some nasty comment about how my place looks "sterile" and "unloving."
The divorce sucked, but I get to come home to a clean, orderly home and listen to some relaxing jazz music, sip a brandy, and enjoy a pipe while listening to the birds chirp outside instead of encountering world war III with screaming, yelling, disorder, and disarray.
Mission-Document5257 2y ago
I finally got to sit down and have a meal with my kid at a dinner table TWO YEARS after she was born. For our entire marriage she had put yard sale finds on every flat surface, piled to the ceiling. All meals were consumed on the couch. In the end she started spending her part of the rent on yard sales as well.
DeeplyDisturbed1 2y ago
Holy shit, this is me. My house now is comfy, clean, and organized most of the time. I have a cleaning lady come once a week and deep clean. On Mondays I come home from work and the whole house just blings - and smells fresh like pine sol. That is so deeply satisfying and I am happy to say my kids appreciate it too.
Maybe they will not experience the same sort of crap you and I did.
John_Savage69 2y ago
We could never have a cleaning lady come when I was married because the house was too messy/cluttered for a service to actually clean anything. I often thought of starting a "put your shit away for you" service for people in the same boat.
Boar_excrement 2y ago
Walking away is often the greatest act of self-respect a man do for himself.
ronoda12 2y ago
In today’s society and anti-men laws walking away is the only super power men have
WhereProgressIsMade 2y ago
Careful. According to the Duluth Model, saying you'll walk away unless she does X or stops doing Y now counts as abuse and domestic violence. So apparently you have to just do it without warning her first. :p
Boar_excrement 2y ago
Isn't walking away without warning how Chad operates? Funny that it is encoded in the system..... /s
awakenedspirit1 2y ago
It’s not much. But it’s enough.
OhBarnacles_007 2y ago
Although men should band together. I really think men should support and find good friendship between them. It's a seriously lacking part of our lives now.
car23975 2y ago
Yeah, I am eorking hard on this. I just have my hands full right now, but I can sure get lots of girl friends in a heart beat. Men are being left behind. We need to stop being so independent. That bootstraps bs is just propaganda to make you weaker. Trump went to the white house with his whole family. So billionaires can do it but everyone else bootstraps? Stick to your family and develop solid friendships with other men.
Flashy_Glove6208 2y ago
Japan's fertility rate is 1.37.
Interestingly Spain's fertility rate is 1.37 due to DV feminazi laws against men.
USA fertility rate 1.78.
You need 2.1 to keep the population stable.
The article and the book citation are 100% right. It crashes hard when good men walk away.
National_Cry5219 2y ago
South Korea: laughs in fertility < 0.9
DeeplyDisturbed1 2y ago
Wow! That's worse than Japan. I knew this was a global problem, but Japan keeps getting on my radar. Thanks for the data point.
Flashy_Glove6208 2y ago
Wow, no wonder there is a strong male anti-feminist movement there.
National_Cry5219 2y ago
Oh and the exact rate was 0.84 in 2020, and it probably got even worse in 2021, and probably will get even worse still in 2022. My guess is a sub-0.8 this year, but I am just a layman when it comes to demographics so who knows.
National_Cry5219 2y ago
Yup, it’s evolved beyond a dumpster fire at this point.
For clarification, late October last year in south korea there was a MASSIVE redpilling/blackpilling incident that burned like wildfire across every single south korean internet community.
Flashy_Glove6208 2y ago
Can you please DM me or post a link to read about this incident here?
National_Cry5219 2y ago
Idk, I seriously doubt there is any material in English about this stuff out there.
Besides, I’m outside right now so maybe later
car23975 2y ago
They sacrifice good men on the altar for society to keep on going. Which is ok if you received something from society. You get jack shit but propaganda on love and marriage and kids. All of it are lies. They want you to get hooked so they have you by the balls.
Goldmansachs3030 2y ago
Nice. Someone who knows what the fuckin fuck department they have created there.
Flashy_Glove6208 2y ago
Guilty always without evidence and due process., You lose your house, access to children and become a criminal when a restraining order is broken, based on another false accusation.
All of this comes straight from the horse's mouth, from my Spanish friend who left Spain.
full article
manfrom-nantucket 2y ago
This is basically every woman who looks at what a man does and minimizes it's importance because subconsciously women are wired to keep their men miserable. There was a study on this that women like their husbands or bf's being miserable because it somehow indicates that he still cares.
Blackbarnabyjones 2y ago
THIS guy KNOWS women.
I-am-the-lul 1y ago
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Absolute repeated confirmation of this fact is all the justification you would need to become a MGTOW.
Tap-Apart 2y ago
When I was like 25, hitting the gym everyday.
Having a great time building my career.
Great friendships with interesting people.
More sex than I could want.
All needs met. Probably the happiest I've ever been.
Focused, self-actualization.
And then I come home to a chick that wants to talk about how I load the dishwasher.
Ok no problem.
And how I fold my shirts.
Ok kinda strange but maybe your way is better.
And how I call my parents once a week is weird.
Well I like my parents, I don't think that's weird.
Just little trivial things that by themselves aren't a big deal but eventually accumulate to a negative vibe.
It really struck me that my role in a relationship is just a series of talking about what I did wrong. How I need to do better. How I messed up.
Yeah I don't envy married men. Even men that "hold-frame" that sounds like an exhausting life.
Blackbarnabyjones 2y ago
I AM coming to notice, that on the whole - women are ALWAYS a net negative.
IT is just the degree of net negative which decides if you can live with her bullshit/she is a good mate.
Notice I said good mate. Not good. A good female mate is a net negative. A GOOD WOMAN IS A NET NEGATIVE.
Shit. A good woman gives you money stress, love stress, family stress, health stress, and bill stress. Its good for a man, you say? NO. IT IS THE MAN, WHO TAKES ON THE CHALLENGE AND OVERCOME IT BY CONSTANTLY BEING BETTER AND BEATING BACK THE Reaper. ALONE. Everyday.. And Yes he is better for it in the end, If you call being wrongfully imprisoned and then escaping being better off.
A BAD woman, gives you all the above plus Mental abuse, physical abuse, emotional and physical isolation/punishment's, divorce lawyer bills, jail time, steals your kids and Really the SKY IS THE LIMIT.
There in NO GOOD thing that comes from a woman. It is only an act. What you think is kindness is JUST THE ABSENCE OF HER ACTING AN ASS FOR THAT MOMENT
-AND IT FEELS LIKE FUCKING BLISS. How FUCKING BAD IS THAT?
NOW, Lurkers and listeners in, here's you chance to be a REAL adult.
You can get mad at me for typing this, OR
You can get MAD AT THE TRUTH that women DO act like this and EXCUSE me for HAVING TO BE THE ONE TO SAY IT. and start getting MAD AT THE ACTIONS WOMEN CONSTANTLY DO.
Choose wisely, Your adulthood depends on it.
I have had the dishwashing conversation you had. AND I WON IT. But I LOST BY WINNING! HOW?
I simply said, "Ok you are right and I am wrong - BUT I want YOU to be happy, and for us to get along BETTER. So once and for all, lets nip this in the bud. Turn off the tv. I'll turn off the computer. and lets go in the kitchen together.
AND YOU TEACH ME HOW YOU WANT THOSE DISHES WASHED.
And I swear to you, we wont go to sleep tonight until I LEARN to do them PERFECTLY THE WAY YOU LIKE IT, BY YOU TEACHING ME.
Please show me how do to this. I will learn this, perfect it, and we will NEVER argue about dishes again because I love you.
So here is the dish, and here is the rag, and I have one two.
SHOW ME."
OH MY FRIKKIN GOD!!
I. HAVE. NEVER. Seen somebody's face. DEFLATE. So fast.
I thought I was Forming my first REAL intimate connection with someone I wanted to be my wife and this moment was going to be the cornerstone of us being a unit and having understanding....NOPE.
Reality Sucks.
It was the FIRST TIME I ever saw somebody TRAPPED IN THEIR OWN FAKE SHIT AND THEY WERE JUST FLABBERGASTED AND FURIOUS AT BEATEN AT THEIR OWN EVIL.
And THAT IS WHEN I Realized the Ugliest of Evils.
She didn't want me to learn, grown, or to Behave, She just wanted to WHIP me.
And I SAW IT. Plain as day. A MONSTER using wordplay games so that they could Get into position to MENTALLY ABUSE someone.
I'll never forget that night, or that argument.
IT was THERE THAT I SAW THE MONSTER. AND THE MONSTER SAW ME LOOKING DIRECTLY AT IT PLAIN AS DAY AND SHE HAD NOWWHERE TO HIDE.
And she just gave up. And said NO, NEVER MIND THEN Immediately.
I don't Know how BUT I KNEW that was the end of the relationship.
We broke up like a year after.
DeeplyDisturbed1 2y ago
Wow dude, this is epic. Nice! You should consider re-writing this as a story and posting here. This is great. And it serves as great advice. Bravo!
Blackbarnabyjones 2y ago
Thanks, But I like my place in this forum (and the world) as the Tin foil hat crazy that misspells every other word and Misuses CAPS and yells TRUTHFUL Shit from his trashcan only to be disregarded.
Especially by "Them"
But I will soon step into the light and stop pretending.
I have MUCH to say.
This is my second post call for a re-write. If you REALLY think I should, PM me with what you would change and how you would change it, and I might give it a go.
DeeplyDisturbed1 2y ago
Will do.
[deleted] 2y ago
Once a man shows a woman that he can achieve happiness without her, she works to torpedo that.
Boar_excrement 2y ago
Very true. His happiness can only occur on her times and with her permission. Otherwise, it would be threatening to the system.
Impressive-Cricket-8 Endorsed 2y ago
Don't play a game you cannot win.
car23975 2y ago
My whole life strategy. They get so mad when you don't play. Its funny as hell.
manfrom-nantucket 2y ago
Yep. Women by and large don't relish the idea of living a lonely existence. They are not built to handle it. And yes they can mitigate some of that with friendships but when you climb into an empty bed every night with no one to hold it wears on them mighty powerful.
Jihocech_Honza 2y ago
Kobayashi Maru test.
awakenedspirit1 2y ago
Just makes the game not that fun. I don’t play slots for the same reason.
moorekom Mod 2y ago
Incentives.
DeeplyDisturbed1 2y ago
Huge important point.
Freakonomics did a good job of explaining incentives. There is no reason why the world should be so confused about this shit at this point.
moorekom Mod 2y ago
They are not confused. They just don't want to admit it.
DeeplyDisturbed1 2y ago
Yeah. Sadly, I think you are right for most of them.
the COVID jab thing is waking up a lot of people. I did not expect as much cognitive dissonance to spew out publicly. I just don't think it is enough to make a difference at this point.
We literally need like a global mass awakening. Not everyone, but a critical mass.
moorekom Mod 2y ago
Actual doctors and specialists have been very clear about COVID since last year. Unless we vaccinate everyone in the world at the same time, we will have variants and we will need boosters until we reach a certain amount of immunity. People just don't listen to actual specialists. Most people I knew who got COVID have recovered. The ones who got COVID during the Delta wave suffered more. Some have indeed died, especially if they are older. That said, there is no guarantee that you won't get COVID if you're young or that the effect will be negligent. If everyone was responsible and took the right precautions, everyone would be mostly fine. But, we have the dumbass rules we have read about in NYC instead. Some people are more concerned about being perceived as doing something rather than to do something useful.
Life is not dramatic enough for that to happen immediately. It's going to be a slow build up. But it's only a matter of time.
kuchbhifeko 2y ago
That's the most idiotic pre condition to the working of any medicine ever.
Covid has animal reservoirs,or do we need to jab every mammal too for this vaccine to finally start working ?
silverado1995 2y ago
Yep exactly. They found a deer with covid. We cant vaccinate the forest