As a woman in college, I am disappointed to say that college wrecks most, if not all, of us. Women think that they cannot find good men simply because they ignore the men that they are friends with, most colleges plaster courses with feminist ideals, and the “party culture” that most colleges come with promotes promiscuity rather than finding a long term partner, especially when we should be looking for men older than us.

Women in college end out ruling their friends as potential dating partners in college. I have noticed that every single one of us has at least one good male friend. Yet for some reason, our best friends are usually single. I think it’s because we have always been told that since we are in college, we somehow “deserve” a perfect man. Coming from an engineering program myself, I can say that I’ve been told that I was “special” for being a “woman in STEM.” This is not the case. I am merely average at math, average in my engineering courses, and average in terms of GPA. I am not special, and honestly, I have to remind myself of that, given how much encouragement and scholarship money women in my program receive. To give you an idea, of my five friends in college in my program, myself included, two are women and three are men. The two women, despite being average at best, receive one hundred percent of the scholarship money. One of the three men has a 4.0. This is irrelevant to people choosing who receives scholarships, as he is a white, straight, man. I’ve asked him about his perspective on the relations between men and women a few times, and after he pointed out a book called “12 Rules for Life” by Jordan Peterson. Of course, I was curious and read it. The book notes that men are being told to be less masculine while women are being celebrated, and Jordan Peterson explains how he feels very well. Our best friends are single because us women are built up so much that our friends can never be enough in the eyes of society.

College courses actively promote feminism. Any liberal arts or humanities class I have taken (General Education classes) has focused on the plights of women. They never mention the higher suicide rates of men my age yet always manage to mention “toxic masculinity,” “microagressions towards women,” and ask me what it is like to be a woman in STEM. I respond saying it’s basically the same, as I live in the United States, where I am fortunate enough to take the same classes as men, take the same tests as men, and have my education funded entirely by my father because he works full-time tirelessly. I usually don’t want to bring up the fact that women receive more scholarship money as I am not interested in negative bias from my professors. Apparently, “activism,” especially the ideas aimed at making women’s life better, are part of the curriculum now. I took a General Education writing class that asked me to write about my lack of privilege as an essay. Women are encouraged to “be independent,” and usually that is associated with not dating. Women are encouraged to travel, despite that fact that traveling solo as a woman is dangerous. We are told that we don’t need men. Our professors support these ideas fully. I know women from conservative households that change or fold under that pressure and decide that they will stay single. Quite frankly, it’s sad seeing women’s priorities. I watched last semester as my roommate would get ready on Friday nights, put on a shirt that looks like a bra, some eyeliner, and then come back with some man she just met. Yet she made fun of me for going and making my few close friends dinner at the apartment on Fridays. That wasn’t enough for her, or society at large. It wasn’t daring, didn’t celebrate being single, and wasn’t exciting enough. I am not oppressed by making this choice, despite what college aged women think. I am not oppressed because I choose to not dye my hair strange colors. I am a woman in the United States; how could I be oppressed?

Party culture, which I am admittedly not very familiar with, is what college aged women are expected to participate in. Like my roommate, swarms of women go out in “shirts” which both my mother and I would consider a bra, and some “mom jeans,” and come back with random men our age. I hate it, and I’m not sorry. I am sorry, however, that college, which us women were always encouraged to go to, forces these ideas on us and tells us that we are worthy or men that are too perfect to exist. I’m sorry that we have reached a point where whole subreddits of men exist frustrated with us. I am sorry that one of my friends pointed out this subreddit to me to explain how he felt because there was no other way, and he’d be ridiculed for saying it. I am sorry that women ignore the concerns of men by saying “aw, you poor straight, white man.” I have plenty of flaws. Trust me, my parents point them out every weekend at lunch. I am trying not to incorporate the many flaws that women gain in college into my personality (I already have enough flaws for one person), but it’s hard. That being said, it’s clearly harder for men my age.