Hello All,
This lesson is mostly for women, ironically, but will reinforce most of the things covered in TRP area of life. I recently attended two separate baby showers from two different social circles that I am involved in. Literally no one the first shower was at the 2nd, except for me of course. I work in finance (private equity) and make good money. I dress like I make $20k a year when Im not at work, so women either ignore me or are rude as fuck to me. I am married but that isnt relevant for this study. Lets begin:
The first baby shower was a lifelong male friend and his wife. He is a Doctor, and she is a nurse practitioner who makes decent $. Combined income is prolly $400k to $600k a year. The reason I say this is that going into the baby shower I knew their would be at least one single girl fishing for rich men, enter Rachel (her real name, fuck the desperate), who works with my buddies wife in her practice group. Rachel is a 6 on the looks scale, and has to compete with women in the 8-10 scale for attention. I got their about an 1 hour into the event (typical timeline for men to arrive for a baby shower) and see that most of the people are already there. I'm married, have a ring, etc, but my wife didnt attend; but I also didnt dress to my income as stated above. Rachel seemed happy enough, but as the event went on her smile faded, all the guys there were married and had kids; all the women there HAD families - kids, grandkids, nieces nephews you get the idea. Rachel sees me from across the way and loses her smile as she sees the only not occupied guy in bland clothes and realizes this baby shower didnt go the way she thought it would. People get a little tipsy as the event goes on, both sides of the family share more stories about the mom and dad to be, talk about their collective families for about 1 hour. Gradually through this whole event Rachel get further and further to the outside of the social gathering, her fake smile fading as it dawns on her that this is another event that she is single, no prospects for dating, and the sad realization that one more of her friends is moving onto the stage of her social life - her OWN family. One she will get to talk about at baby showers, get to spend time with the kids, and generally get everything she wants. But not for Rachel. Rachel leaves after her gift is opened, from my vantage point she was frustrated and fighting tears.
Do I feel bad for Rachel - no. She choose this life for herself. Again she was a 6 when I saw her at the shower and she was in her 30s. She was probably a 7 or 8 in her prime; she had options and this the culmination of all her choices.
Baby Shower #2. Enter Allison (again real name, fuck the desperate). Allison is a school teacher with no future. Allison is in her late 30s and is still an 8 on the looks scale - in her prime she was a 10. I dont mince words here, she literally rejected mens by the dozens thinking she could always do better. My wife knows here and thats an oversimplification of Allison's dating history. Allison has been trying to cash in her chips prior to her inevitable wall smash that she keeps putting off. One problem for Allison - she was a 10 for most of her life. She has the pleasantness of a wolverine and the personality of a plank of wood. No one recommends anyone to date Allison, because of her prior rejections of better candidates. Allison experienced the identical experience that Rachel did. All the women at the baby shower, glowed on and on about their families and how happy they are. All the men there were married. No one gave a fuck about her. Allison didnt make it to the gift opening part of the shower and couldnt force a smile past 30 minutes. Allison will die alone, feeling alone.
Allison also tried hitting on all the men at another social function I attended. This was while my wife and I were courting (actual courting - yeah IDGAF) and she had the audacity to hit on me in front of my wife. I calmly told her that I was there with insert my now wifes name. I then saw Allison hit on two gay guys at this event. I watched her make similar rounds to conversation with men that might be single. Allison used her beauty to intrude on conversations and then leave once the conversations werent with people who could give her a family. This social function btw, was a funeral for someone in her extended family. Let that level of desperation of baby rabies sink in for a moment. A women who by most people's standards is at least an 8, had to resort to using a funeral to potentially meet suitors thats how badly she fucked up her winning hand.
Do I feel bad for Allison - no. She rejected at least a 100 suitors - good men, hard working men, men who make more than me (and I make more than you, the person reading this), good men that her family risked their reputation to set her up with. NONE of them were good enough, none of them had anything fond to say about her. Her face has the 1K cock stare and I would wager a good amount of money that she chases the chads and thought her looks could lock them down. In the 50s she would have made Chad settle, but this aint the 50s anymore. She had infinitely more options than most women can dream of and she wound up alone, no children, about to smash head first into the wall, with a crappy low paying government job - where she will be reminded daily of the kids she wont have by teaching yours. If that isnt hell, I dont know what is - but she chose that willingly.
To the mostly male audience here - what can you learn from this. The smoking hot girl today, is a dumpster fire 10 years later. Life isnt fair, for the first 30 years in this society it sucks being a guy, but the last 50 are awesome. We arent in the 50s anymore, if you are a Chad you can fuck Rachel and Allison and not have to commit to them. If you are Billy Beta you arent obligated to save them from their desperation and bad choices in life; in fact you shouldnt.
To any women lurkers reading this, be warned you will end up like Allison or Rachel if you behave like them. If you want children and a family, then you need to prepare for that lifestyle the second you know you want it. Waiting until you are 25,30, whatever and then getting serious about it puts you at a massive disadvantage. My wife started preparing to be a wife to a man who earns what I earn at age 12; when we married she was a virgin, same religious beliefs, no tattoos, had about $80k in savings, was 23 years old, and gave our family 4 awesome kids. She doesnt work, and has the family life she dreamed about growing up. My wife laughs at women like Allison - Allison used to taunt and be a total bitch to my wife, saying that she was wasting her time, would regret all the nonsense she did, etc. Ill let you decide who ended up making the better life choices for themselves.
BluepillProfessor 2y ago
This is wonderfully savage.
FewActinomycetaceae0 2y ago
80k in savings at age 23 for a woman is rarer then being a virgin
attongirdeaux 2y ago
It was not earned by her.
houseoftolstoy Mod 2y ago
Not focusing on the exact age, but this overall statement is key. A woman who wants to get married needs to prepare herself for marriage long before she actually gets married. A woman who waits until 25-30 to actually prepare for marriage shows that marriage is not really a priority to her. So many women do not understand this, and are therefore baffled when they struggle to find the good man they desire when they only started getting serious about the idea of marriage immediately before they want to be married. For perspective, these women expect the man that they ideally want to marry to have a good income, a place to live, decent health and have skills that come in handy outside of a career. This requires the man to spend years of his life preparing, as no man just wakes up one morning and has a decent paying job right without previous effort being done to accomplish this. So when mentioning that a woman should prepare earlier than just before the moment she wants to be married, the request is simply for the women to match the man's level of effort prior to the marriage.
Another note, my experience with baby showers is that it would be a terrible occasion for a woman to try an meet a man as the event is either women only or the men that do show up are going to already be married, as they would be with their wives at the event. I do not know many single guys who go to baby showers in most circumstances. Maybe that is just my experience, but my outlook is that it makes little sense for this scenario to be ideal for a woman to look a man to have a relationship with.
[deleted] 2y ago
based AF
MrNeurotypical 2y ago
Same here. I usually drive my toyota instead of the mercedes so I get ignored. Nowadays women are so sky high in their expectations that it doesn't matter which car I drive.
NoonTimeHoopsMVP 2y ago
Great stories.
You reap what you sow.
polishknightusa 2y ago
I would NEVER go to a baby shower as a single man unless it was for my sister or other relative who wanted a drive so she could get sloshed with her woman friends. Not only that, but people having babies tend to invite other people who have babies because they understand each other. It's the ultimate "family values" party, even moreso than a wedding. Single women trolling for single men at baby showers is like going to a fishing exposition looking for feminine women to date.
For your amusement about women with outrageous standards who reject suiters until none are left, a cautionary folk tale, King Thrushbeard, describes a princess who cruelly rejects all suiters until the King, a based man, orders that she marry the first bum who comes begging at his door.
[deleted] 2y ago
OP's post is the only reason men should go to baby showers - to see the leftovers losing their shit because you love the sights and sounds of schadenfreude.
I went to one "coed" baby shower early in my marriage. I told my wife not to ask or expect me to attend any other kinds of gift showers, ever - they are female centric events created by women for women and men have no place at them. The only good thing about them is getting to see the slow motion trainwrecks.
attongirdeaux 2y ago
The only reason a man should go to a shower is 1) a LIFE long friend having their baby 2) A direct siblings baby or 3) Their own family (granted I also tell people not to have kids these days so whatever).
That being said, every shower has at least one inspin there. If you find yourself being dragged to one make a bet with the women dragging you there on the timeframe of the inspin hitting the eject button.
mistralol 2y ago
I was at a party about a year ago with a guy I used to work with. About 4 guys and about 6 women. I knew one of the girls quite well. All in the age range about 35-45 or so.
The girl I knew quite well knew exactly what I did for a job etc... She was doing the whole why you still single line of questioning. Part of that was why don't you wear some better cloths etc.. etc...
When I gave the answer of "Its camouflage for the gold diggers" 2 of the other girls you could just see their look on the face sink as they suddenly realised that guys with money dress down because they don't want to draw attention to it and their entire way of selecting guys to date for most of their adult life was wrong and that most of their sleections had been for low guys who had been dressing up pretending to have money were what they had been selecting so they could get laid.
Was able to confirm most of that in the conversation that followed. I don't think any of them had ever gone after a guy because of charater only because of money and image. They had not realised this in 20 years of being an adult lmao
LateralThinker13 2y ago
Flawless answer.
YungUrbanTurban 2y ago
salutes with flag waving in the background
InevitableOwl1 2y ago
It is similar with cars. There was a time I got envious at young guys (especially younger guys) in really flash cars until I realise that most can’t really afford those and blow a large part of their pay on the monthly payments - often not even getting the car at the end
mistralol 2y ago
Yup. I know some people who long term lease cars and even basic cars here cost them ÂŁ200/mo minimum (more likly to be ÂŁ300). Which is about 5x-8x more than I spend.
Its always the same people who complain about having no money either.
I am fine with them doing it of course. It means cheap cars for me at their expense.
InevitableOwl1 2y ago
When I had mine on lease it was about 200. So I can only assume the lads in the beamers are paying more than double that likely on lower take home pay
[deleted] 2y ago
Nowadays, I look at a guy driving a nice sports car, and I'm like, "That's a midlife-crisis-mobile."
xineNOLA 2y ago
I totally drive a nice sports car, and it is 100% a midlife-crisis-mobile. That I paid cash for. Because I've busted my arse to be able to do. (I'm also a purposefully, long-term single female.)
WhereProgressIsMade 2y ago
I think the big shiny pick up trucks fit too. Trying to look like a tough manly man. A truck that actually gets out to work is dirty, dinged up, and practical instead of showy. Lots of guys in my neighborhood have a desk job but buy trucks like this. Whatever floats your boat I guess.
[deleted] 2y ago
Or they're finally able to purchase that sports car they've been dreaming of for years.
3HardWay 2y ago
Crabs in a bucket mentality. Anyone with something nicer than me must be either stupid, fake, or compensating for an inadequacy.
While this may be the case, how often, who knows?
As you say, there are legitimate reasons too. God forbid someone achieve a goal through perseverance.
[deleted] 2y ago
[deleted]
NoonTimeHoopsMVP 2y ago
He earned it.
OwenWentFullMGTOW 2y ago
This part about Allison stood out to me. I dated a Perfect 10 when I was 25. By any sane standard, she was amazingly hot.
Our "relationship" didn't last long tho because she was so unpleasant to be around that I just couldn't stand her company anymore. The problem with Perfect 10 women is they never learned how to be warm, friendly people.
It's understandable that other women hated my ex. Envy, you know. But when men refused to spend time with her, you know there's a problem.
[deleted] 2y ago
10s act like cunts because they can. They get away with it. Men date/fuck them anyway, until they can't stand her or until she offloads them.
polishknightusa 2y ago
I'll disagree with this and hopefully it's useful: I found that there were plain looking women who were even more insufferable because they had more orbiters than Jupiter. I instead would always beeline towards the prettiest girl in the room with a smile and just chat with her and discovered a secret about human nature: It's just as easy to chat up a pretty woman as it is a plain one.
The reason why 30 something single 10's are insufferable is similar to why the leftover Christmas decorations are the worst at the store 3 days later: All the good stuff gets taken just as "where have all the good men gone?" means that they got married or they did something else.
DicamVeritatem 2y ago
Suspect some SMP value inflation here. I haven’t laid eyes on a 10 in many years, and I’ve seen perhaps one 9 this year, back around March.
[deleted] 2y ago
Not all 10s are like that.
polishknightusa 2y ago
Agreed. I was just observing that plain women can be snooty too.
I'm thinking of that scene in A Beautiful Mind where Nash comes up with an economic theory of cooperation where a bunch of guys, in the 1950's, would see a pretty girl surrounded by ordinary looking ones. What to do? If the first guy approached the prettiest girl, the rest would be offended and cock block the guy and then they'd reject the rest of the men out of spite. So he proposed all the guys ignore the pretty girl, make her jealous, and the ordinary girls would feel grateful for the attention.
I don't know if this would work then, or now, but it certainly is beta male thinking, isn't it?
Later on, PUA's would come up with the concept of a wingman but imagine if an entire bar of men carteled up like women to help control the narrative in a sort of thought experiment: Have the hottest guy hit on the hottest girl in the room and set her up for failure and shit tests her. She fails and he hits on another girl and she fails a shit test, and he fails her. He does this to half of the girls in the room and leaves. NOW the room is primed for the betas to pick up the fallen female egos. Have the alpha male "take one for the team" by not getting nookie to get all the other men taken care of.
I think this even happened probably before pre-marital sex in that an alpha male wouldn't marry the first girl he dated, but he couldn't have sex with her, so he played the field. After the girls got a chance at chad, and struck out, they'd have a more realistic perspective.
Yapshoo 2y ago
When i was a child (90s), i was taught that baby showers are for women, and men can't go there. I specifically remember this, because i was mad i wasn't allowed to go to my aunt's, and instead me and all the male kids/grandkids went with my grandad/uncle fishing.
When did this change?
divorcedbp 2y ago
Fishing with dad and grandad is 1000000000x better than being forced to attend a baby shower.
MrNeurotypical 2y ago
Same here. I won't go to a baby shower and politely decline an invitation.
Captainbuttman 2y ago
When women realized they would get more "stuff" if they invited men.
attongirdeaux 2y ago
If you are a male that is single and makes $, you will be asked to go. Not because people want you to go, but because they want gifts. If you are married, you are kinda expected to show up for 15 minutes and leave. I got invited to the 1st one because I knew the dad to be since 1st grade. I got asked to show up briefly to the second one, because my wife was close to the mom to be.
[deleted] 2y ago
It changed when women started wearing the pants in the family, and it became acceptable to sport the Trophy Husband. Women are always trying to one-up each other, and guys these days don't realize that when they go to these women-gatherings there's an invisible chain that goes from the ring on her finger to the leash around his neck.
polishknightusa 2y ago
I have another more innocent explanation: Back in the 60's when this stuff caught on, the women all lived as neighbors and went to the same church. Today, due to the breakdown of community values, most of our friends live at least 20 minutes drive away.
Modern baby showers are like bachelor parties for babies. :-) Except for the new mother, of course, the rest of the women are drinking and need a designated driver. The guys hang out in the backyard and grill and chat up.
attongirdeaux 2y ago
Spot on. Single ladies feel the burn at these events so bad they leave crying.
InevitableOwl1 2y ago
Great stories. A few things really jumped out
Do women really expect eligible single men at baby showers? I am a single man and have never been invited to one. Granted my social circle is tiny and you sound like you have a big one with some very successful people in it
We were sat on a table with other couples who had been together longer and also the the women were either more accomplished in term of having a family or much better careers.
In hindsight that was the moment things ended for us. We had been together about six months and didn’t last another one after that. I should have seen the light die in her eyes as she realised she would never have that with me (as I just wasn’t on the same level of success even though there is no way the guy paid for that wedding).
Perhaps she had turned this guy down for all I know.
Anyway she had a meltdown and actually even said she’d never have that kind of wedding - to my face. Tried to claim she wouldn’t want it.
LateralThinker13 2y ago
A man at a baby shower is family-minded. Willing to be there. These women are family-minded (they think) and while many men who are there may already be taken, you never know. It's a way to preselect.
SpearWeasel 2y ago
That and MOST teachers are flaming leftist SJWs. Fuck NO.
attongirdeaux 2y ago
Speaking anecdotally here, but every single social event I have been to that single women go to they do one of the following:
1) Go their with the sole intention of finding a guy to date
2) Want to go anyways, but will use the event as an incidental reason to fish.
For baby showers, I think it falls under #2. They dont want to be there - they dont want to be reminded of the family they dont have and see someone hotter than them getting the finish line before them, they also dont want to see someone uglier than them getting to the finish line before them either. Baby showers for single women are hell on earth.
InevitableOwl1 2y ago
The “someone uglier than them” getting to the “finish line” is a big big thing in my experience
I am convinced that is one of the reasons teachers find it so hard. Because they are faced with so many cases over the years that even if on average the couples are well matched the ones where “someone uglier” has scored a better than expect match with stick with them
Also said ex girlfriend I mentioned above re: the wedding - she was confronted with her fatter, uglier friend getting engaged to a richer guy than her boyfriend (me). As much as I hate to think it I believe that to have been another nail in the coffin. Probably one of the main ones actually
polishknightusa 2y ago
Back in my fun bachelor days, I roommated in Hollywood Hills with a pop psychologist who wrote a dating book for women basically modern FDS. She and I chatted about relationships and she went into attack mode on me:
"Your fiance is beautiful so who are you to call women shallow?"
The difference is that I had literally traveled around the world like Magellan and busted my hump to increase my value and market myself and offer to women while all she advised women to offer was their looks and negging skills.
Keep in mind: Modern single career women largely have CONTEMPT for men overall, attractive men much less (because they have value she can glom) and for men who are refusing to jump off a cliff, absolutely loathing.
It DISGUSTS them to see pretty women with someone like me even if I EARNED it. It angers them. It's like a nobleman seeing a peasant smiling in the fields and goes over and shoots him because... only HE should be happy.
[deleted] 2y ago
A wedding reception is one of the best places for single men to meet single women. That movie Wedding Crashers had a lot of truth in it.
InevitableOwl1 2y ago
Yes. My question was about baby showers though! I didn’t think it was that common for single men to even be invited to those
[deleted] 2y ago
I've been to a "coed" baby shower and a "coed" wedding shower. After those, I told my wife I would not be attending any more such events, ever, even if invited. Gift showers of any kind are events created by women, for women. They are feminine events through and through - they are not for men. Men have no place at these events.
InevitableOwl1 2y ago
Were both whilst you were married though? My point was I don’t see it common for single men
Perhaps for high society (of which I know nothing about). The OP describes the shower of a couple with an enormous household income at seemingly a relatively young age (since the woman was pregnant). Sounds like high society to me - or at least adjacent to it
Like I could see Frasier in the show trying to wangle an invite to a wedding or baby shower for some fancy person to try and network since that was basically the theme of that entire show - them trying to join the American “aristocracy”
[deleted] 2y ago
Yes, while married. I had never even heard of a coed gift shower where single men would be invited or even that such an event would happen before I married. But I have been married a long time and both of these events were in the late 90s/early 00s.
I will never, ever go to another coed gift shower. Men should not attend gift showers of ANY kind.
washerelastweek 2y ago
you wrote they even use funerals for hunting. they use every possibility. when I turned 35 or so I got 2 or 3 phone calls from former female classmates. I didn't hear from them since high school (and even then they didn't give fuck about me, I guess one reason would be I'm 5'7) and then out of the blue they called me. no facebook those days so they had to do some real research to get my number (one of them called me in my office). the conversations were short and similar: "i was just thinking about our school and our teenage years and I just remembered you so I wanted to find out how you were and all, so I asked x for your number, you know I always liked you, you would always tell me those interesting stories from books you've read" and then this was followed by "how are you doing, where do you work" and then they tried to lead to the conversation in such a way so I had to say if I was married or not. Well, I was... and they never called me again :)
and one more story that hit me while reading yours. it was at the reunion. most of the girls were married and had kids and there was one girl who didn't. girls would say stories about their marvelous children, and she tried to keep up telling stories about her marvelous students (she was a teacher). but nobody would react to her stories because, frankly, nobody was interested in some other people's children she happened to teach. why would we. I remember her face sink when she realized that the girls realized that she talks about her students only because she didn't have her own kids or husband to talk about. it was very awkward and she left the party earlier.
Jihocech_Honza 2y ago
Mr. Darwin can add a lot to this :-)
What is the the point of being pretty and social and succesful, if there are no children?
[deleted] 2y ago
Two lessons from two encounters
I went to a party and I used my father’s car as mine was under repair. My father used to have nice sportscars, that I like but I would never spend such money for. While arriving I met this friend of the hosts that noticed me/the car and squared me from head to toe. She started hitting on me the whole party. She wanted my phone number and she wanted a ride from me. Before leaving I made clear that the car was not mine. I had the impression that in that moment she got colder but she promised she would have called me soon. Never heard from her :) in seven years.
Another time I was traveling by train in Europe. I arrived at my intermediate station where I should’ve slept before leaving the next morning. It was freezing and raining, I was dressed like crap, unshaven and wet. I met this local mountain girl who noticed me at a bar where I stopped to restore before reaching my hotel. She has been helpful, kind and not pretentious at all. She helped me to reach my hotel. We went for dinner and we had sex. Unfortunately she was living too far otherwise she was one of the few girls with which I would have started a relationship.
[deleted] 2y ago
First one had to cover who they where acting as.
AngryCockOfJustice 2y ago
I'll have post wall single women's tears with Elijah Craig on rocks please.
DeeplyDisturbed1 2y ago
Great story and great message. I have a thought to share re this:
This sort of message is much more dangerous than most men realize.
The more women hear this sort of thing, the more chameleon-like they will become. Imagine 10 million hot women taking your advice. Then fast forward 20 years - they are divorced and back on the ole CC. Ex is devastated, kids split their weekends between roastie mom and depressed Dad.
But hey, at least her nieces get a "cool wine aunt"...
We are just exiting from an era of this exact sort of thing. It lasted way too long, and it is not over yet.
Please be careful about these messages. I do not have an answer as to what SHOULD be said. But I will say that it seems to me to be a HUGE mistake to encourage attractive promiscuous to "change their ways" to get the family they seek. Because that is exactly what they will do. And the damage it will cause will be immeasurable.
snogsyourmom 2y ago
absolutely concur. women dont change, they just get better at hiding their treachery, for lack of a better word. I get the feeling that when people say that the subtext is really 'be the girl I want you to be so that you'll date me'
attongirdeaux 2y ago
Yeah I am too much of a TradCon to post on MGTOW, but I literally tell every guy who asks me how to find a good woman the mgtow elevator pitch.
My message isnt for women who fucked around, my message is really for women who havent started yet - cue 1990s laugh track. A women who is a 4-6, who is a decent person to be around is wife material; a woman who no matter how hot they are, but is a bitch isnt.
Men should always give women they think they are serious about two specific tests. The "are they a slut test" and the "are they a gold digger test". I also go through their family history, their social media, etc. Men need to vet women like women vet men.
throwawayranterz 2y ago
I'm a girl lurking on here who will never ever get on the CC, in part due to posts like yours. I'm spreading the word about the repercussions of promiscuity to some friends before they even reach the age of consent. A guy from my class joined r/WAATGM some weeks ago after I brought it up in a group discussion on how N-count affects LTRs. It sounds comical, but I can assure you that at least a few young people are taking note. Thanks for posting.
polishknightusa 2y ago
Women can't be just told what NOT to do but also what TO do. This goes back a century when the dating climate changed from courtship to marriage but rather courtship to sex. Modern dating "traditions" are designed around quid-pro-quo transactional sex.
The amount of effort to put into duplicity is minimal compared to healthy game. Men know this. Learning how to put on being cool AND interesting to women while looking totally natural takes MONTHS even YEARS of practice. In the meantime, basic social skills are easy: learn how to cold approach people and just be friendly and nice. Learn how to feel out for interest and move relationships to the next level. Learn how to accept rejection AND via this feedback, set reasonable standards.
The total lack of rejection many women go through even back in the 1980's resulted in massive delusional expectations from women: "If a 100 losers asked me out, why can't I get one rich alpha chad? Maybe I need to put glitter on my boobs! It's not that I'm not perfect, but just that he hasn't asked me out yet!"
Women just need to put in more work, not in the workplace where she earns money to buy more handbags, but on social skills. It's interesting that men today probably are more socially skilled than the average woman. I can more easily chat with men in public in the states than I would with women and my wife observes the same.
yellomachine 2y ago
If your teacher asks you,
'why would you want to have just one guy?' or 'why would you settle down in your early 20s?'
Just reply:
'Because I don't want to end up like you.'
Tracker1958 2y ago
Love the comments on this one.
MGTOWManofMystery 2y ago
Good data points, thanks for sharing. In the future, you might want to double check your grammar before posting though.
Rinku_No_Mae 2y ago
When I was young and dumb, I tried to date a gold-digger who was around 9-10 at that time. I don't know how she is right now, but I am sure that she hasn't met her white-platinum-knight to this day yet. She was a hard-to-please girl, and terrible at texting.