Dear Single Mom,
I don't know why you're writing me a letter. We actually talked to each other like, 6 or 7 years ago. When I met you I thought you were really attractive, and you were nice to me and we seemed to get along. I wanted to start dating you, and instead of just looking at you like a piece of sexmeat like some other guys did, I took some time to get to know you better. We hung out a few times and when I asked if you were seeing anyone, you said you weren't, and that your ex was a total jerk and dumped you 3 months prior. So, I asked you out, and you quickly declined and told me that I was just a friend, or I wasn't your type. It was frustrating. Rejection sucks, but its just a part of life that young men have to learn from and deal with. I did not feel I was entitled to anything, and you were well within your rights to choose not to date me. No problem. I was in my early 20's at the time, and like most guys who had been in my position, I moved on and started to focus my attention on women who were a bit more like me, and actually LIKED guys like me.
I wasn't as reckless or aggressive as the kind of guys you dated, but I was mature and knew how to handle life. I liked to have fun, but I was also smart and took a lot of time working on my education and work. I didn't go out partying every weekend like you did with your boyfriends, but I went out and had fun when I had the time. Also, I started giving attention to women who were similar to me, and that appreciated me for being intelligent. Some of them may not have been as attractive as you (actually some were even MORE attractive!), but since they were mature and grounded we actually had some pretty terrific times together. I didn't have as many sexual partners as you did, nor as many girlfriends as you had boyfriends, but some of the ones I did date led to very enjoyable relationships, and definitely were never abusive like some of yours were. And, because I dated smart women with good heads on their shoulders, we always made sure to work on our education and careers, all the while using protection/contraception to make sure we didn't have a kid we couldn't handle at the time.
Fast forward a few years. I have all my education behind me, and work a good job that pays me more than enough to make ends meet. My college loans are paid off, credit is good, have my own house and car, and outside my mortgage, I don't carry any debt. I work a lot but I still make time to go out with friends and enjoy myself. I just recently got out of a long-term relationship and...I'm finally ready to date again now!
But something weird has been happening the past few months. Since I've been single, I keep getting letters like this from you, and other single moms. Apparently, since the last time we talked 6 or 7 years ago, you chose to keep dating guys like that jerk that broke up with you 3 months before I met you. You always saw the red flags and warning signs around them, but you stuck with them. I matured and realized what kind of people are worthwhile to date, but unfortunately, you didn't. You guys were not responsible with your sex life by using contraception, and ended up having a kid you most likely didn't plan for. Now you're in a totally different situation, and dating someone like you with a kid, at least for me, carries a TON of risk; whether it be financial, social, legal, etc.
But, recently I gave several single moms like you the benefit of the doubt. I figured maybe I should at least try to date single moms and not be quick to judge. What did I learn? Well, I learned in the vast majority of cases they were a lot like you, and almost all of the reservations I had about dating single moms were validated. They had a history of picking awful boyfriends, didn't plan for the future by not finishing school, or not working hard enough on their careers; all because they wanted to party with their boyfriends. Now all of a sudden, they're very interested in dating someone like me.....someone they had no interest in BEFORE they had a kid. Now they need help raising their children and someone to step in and help correct and financially support their past mistakes. And when I go out with them, though they are eager to pursue the relationship and make it more serious....I just can't help but realize they really treat me as a "friend," not as much a "boyfriend" ....so odd. So after trying to date single moms, I realized most were not actually attracted to me, but they were after my kindness and stability. Things they never were interested in before they had kids.
So, I've decided to do what I've always done. Date non-divorced women with no kids, and who appreciate and are attracted to guys like me. Sorry, but that's the way it is. Oh, and one other thing...
You keep telling me that I'm "scared" by you, or "intimidated" by you. No, you have it wrong. I "moved on" from women like you 6 or 7 years ago. I wasn't your type then, but why am I all of a sudden your type now? I think we both know.
Good luck out there.
(Disclaimer: This obviously doesn't apply to all single moms. But let's be real, it describes most of them.)
TheKingGoliath 4 years ago
I always hate "responses" like this. Ones that suggest, "You didn't like me, but now I have a degree. And a job - A GREAT JOB. With like ENDLESS MONEY. And... And AN EXPENSIVE CAR. And A Mortgage on a BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF REAL ESTATE. AND I HAVE NO DEBT... Like none. Because you know, I didn't go out as much and stuff. You should've picked me." It's incredibly overcompensating. 41% of men in the U.S. according to the Census Bureau, have obtained an actual college degree (associates or higher), the median income for males as well is estimated to be only $44,408. The average home in the U.S. is $226,000. Mind you, 44% of Americans have a car loan. Getting rejected sucks. Seeing these girls getting played and knocked up only to come back looking for "what could have been" does suck. I've been there. But every rejection and heartbreak didn't come with a boost in my income. We all have accomplishments and may have been the "better option," but let's not lie to ourselves like across the board we're making some serious money in lieu of being in that relationship. Some of the guys we look at as being "bad guys," end up making a better living than us and it sucks. Good guys get overlooked. That's just life.
oldredder 4 years ago
They're not overlooked. They're set aside with a crazy expectation they'll still be useful, gullible, 1 or 2 children later
[deleted] 5 years ago
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the_unseen_one 5 years ago
Of course not. Some single mothers are widowers.
whoareyou31 5 years ago
Sounds like a niceguy fantasy. Seems fake
oldredder 4 years ago
looks 100% real to me from everything I've seen
[deleted] 5 years ago
Oh no, it does describe ALL single moms.
[deleted] 5 years ago
Oh no, it does describe ALL single moms.
Rick_OShay1 5 years ago
Do you mean literally, like, in the mail?
Also, did you read the disqus comments on that article/letter? One of them really hits her hard.
ransay3277 5 years ago
The thing I love most about these single moms is when they get that I don't think this is going to workout conversation, you go from being a Master Swordsman dealing orgasms on demand to a no dick mother f____er that couldn't please a woman if you had to in seconds flat.
SirKolbath 5 years ago
Whenever leftists want to force you to behave a certain way they accuse you of fear. "homophobia" "islamophobia" "fear of single mothers".
No, you festering shit mounds, it's not fear. It's not a phobia. It's a rational and measured decision based on an observation of unacceptable behavior of which I do not desire to take part or be around.
Blogginginvicecity 5 years ago
Yes! I was thinking the same thing upon reading the following article, which was the fruit of browsing what other shitshows that website had to offer. The author of course states that self-questioning her loose behavior is internal misogyny.
https://thoughtcatalog.com/kat-newman/2018/07/do-you-feel-loved/
She asks
Grrrrl, I don't want to make you feel like you can't be yourself in our relationship. That's how much of a great, dedicated feminist I am. I want you to thrive! So, tell me, what are you like? Are you accustom to a relatively high rotation of lovers?
Oh, can't answer the question? Hmmmm. Well grrrl I see you're uncomfortable... ...and since I respect wimminz so much... ...I must excuse myself and gracefully move on. Have a good day :)
[deleted] 5 years ago
Ok, "Are you a slut?"
Blogginginvicecity 5 years ago
Thanks for posting this here. I really appreciated that comment in the thotcatalog piece.
toolate4redpill 5 years ago
Very good read. This WAS MY LIFE for many years. Unless you are a "Chad" you never get the real good women. You get the scraps that have been used up by "Chad" who THINK they are good women. They literally suck every bit of life and money out of you. I wish I could do it all over
[deleted] 5 years ago
To be fair a chad may be the 10th chad... but at least the chad wasn’t emotionally invested.
It’s ironically why women spread their legs for chads... they know he isn’t going to have any emotional attachment after banging her
LimousineLibtard 5 years ago
They just want his DNA.
Beta Billy will provide the resources and raise Chad’s spawn while willingly submitting to his own genetic extinction. To not do so would be MUH SOGINY.
[deleted] 5 years ago
Under the hood that’s true, but consciously... not always true...might sound crazy but given the knowledge of contraception sometimes they want what we all want... to get laid by someone good looking... no bigger picture to it. It’s fun... like doing a line of cocaine is fun
LimousineLibtard 5 years ago
Physical attractiveness is literally just a collection of traits that indicate a person has good DNA. Why do you think you find a woman with a narrow waist and hips wide enough to give birth attractive? Why do we find clear skin attractive? Facial symmetry? It’s because those traits virtually guarantee the person has a strong immune system and will thus pass those traits on to your offspring.
LEARN YOUR SCIENCE BOY!
Contraception or no contraception. People are instinctually driven to fuck people with good DNA.
[deleted] 5 years ago
I feel like you just reiterated what I just said in a more red neck kind of way
BewareTheOldMan 5 years ago
"It’s ironic why women spread their legs for Chads...they know he isn’t going to have any emotional attachment after banging her..."
Many women somehow believe THEY can do what EVERY OTHER WOMAN can't do - which is convince Chad to commit to them, their agenda, and possibly marriage.
I suspect many think they offer the most MIND-BLOWING sexual experience that Chad will EVER receive and CANNOT and WILL NOT be outdone by OTHER WOMEN.
Reality - Chad DOES NOT care about some random woman's personal agenda. Pretty Boys receive a steady flow of hot and crazy, animalistic sex from OTHER WOMEN. Plates break - many of these women are not only overshooting their own "self-perceived" SMV, but also overestimating their self-worth in general…or as the women folk say: "You’re not ALL that!"
The simple fact is that IF a woman is "high value" enough, there is no need for quick and easy NSA sex in the first place. A High Value Woman could conceivably have Chad waiting for sex just like any other Beta Orbiter - except the Beta Orbiter has ZERO possibility of ever getting sex, but Chad will eventually crack her code either with commitment or by "faking commitment."
A woman has a much better chance of securing commitment by NOT having sex and proving herself as valuable to men in other ways than just sex. The problem for many women is that most have been having sex since their teen years, thereby losing the moral high ground to expect men to wait for exclusivity and commitment BEFORE sex.
Even worse than losing the moral high ground to have men either wait for sex or manipulate men by lying about virginity and being a "good girl" is that even Non-Chads want sex BEFORE commitment.
Women have truly lost the ability to negotiate commitment from ANY man, much less from the Pretty Boy/Hot Guy. This affects Single Mothers the worst - they have evidence of engaging sexual activity simply by having kids.
[deleted] 5 years ago
What do you mean by single mothers the worst?
Also I think you’re right except I really know from a lot of experience that girls will bang a chad just for fun... and very specifically be thinking he’d be terrible for a relationship
BewareTheOldMan 5 years ago
The reference to Single Mothers offering sex to Chad/Pretty Boys and having it worse than every other woman is there generally comes a point where a SM considers herself "reformed" and is now framing future relationships based on a man's financial stability, responsibility, and positive husband-father characteristics and traits.
The issue is that WELL BEFORE a SM produces children with the Bad Boy, incorrigible jerk, or basic douchebag the aforementioned "Good Man" traits were NOT a requirement. It's only AFTER 2 to 3 kids, loads of emotional baggage, and financial desperation that definitive great husband and exceptional father traits are a necessary requirement.
When women place "requirements" on other men which prior douchebag men were NOT required to fulfill, it's because they've reached a tipping point where a Good Man is "the savior" to their life's problems.
The issue, however, is that Mr. Future Beta-Provider Chump wants his sex "upfront" the same way as Chad and with little to no added requirements or effort on his part.
There are in fact idiot men who will play this game, forego sex, and marry a SM while she withholds sex until marriage…I’m looking at you Russell Wilson.
The majority of men will either pretend to commit or flat out refuse anything serious to a SM but directly inform these women they are STRICTLY SEX ONLY and NOTHING ELSE.
This scenario infuriates most SMs as they want a Good Man and have no leverage because they ALREADY have kids. SMs are in no position to place demands on smart men who know their self-worth. Only a loser would accept ridiculous terms and requirements from a SM - it’s usually a low-value male who would NEVER have had a chance with her in the first place.
[deleted] 5 years ago
I see what you're saying, I will say though, that some single mothers are farrrrrrrking gorgeous. Their tits engorged, bodies sexy as hell... I'd like to think I'd never let myself get in a relationship with a SM... but I feel like my nature ultimately lets me down over an extended period of time... if and only if she's sexy and hot enough... she'd have to be good at deep throating too to get me past that threshold. But then again... I have so many options atm... so I'd only be crossing that threshold after around 45 years old. (At 32 now... I've come to the beautiful realisation that I haven't even peaked yet)
PM_ME_UR_NAKED_TITS 5 years ago
Great read, completely true. I was more surprised at the lack of white knights in the comment section of her post. Instead, they gave her what she deserves pretty well.
[deleted] 5 years ago
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BewareTheOldMan 5 years ago
This situation is yet another reason to avoid Single Mothers - women who "use" other men to rear someone else's kid(s) to adulthood only to be cast aside with little appreciation or consideration when the Beta-Provider/Good Man is no longer useful - especially with a 10-year investment by your father.
There's a behavioral condition (which I can't recall) which supports your former stepmother's actions - basically placing emphasis, concern, and focus on her biological child while ignoring or placing very minimal effort on stepchildren. It’s likely she had concern for your welfare, but very low priority versus higher priority and value to her own daughter.
The reality of watching your father place time, effort, emotion, and energy to another man’s child has completely turned you away from SMs - and rightly so.
For many men there’s very little return on investment (RoI) in rearing another man’s kids(s) to adulthood.
One story I remember had details in which the stepdad reared a stepdaughter to adulthood, purchased her a car after graduating high school for use in college, paid thousands in college tuition and other fees, and financed this adult woman's wedding only to have the stepdaughter insist on requiring the biological father the honor of escorting this young lady’s walk done the aisle. Notably, the woman's biological father was absent most of her life minus the occasional "guest appearance" and check-in.
The stepdad was furious, withdrew his financing, and kicked his live-in girlfriend out of the home.
His parting words referenced the biological dad picking up the tab for the wedding - which of course he couldn’t and resulted in scaling down the wedding to a much smaller ceremony.
Other than the stepdad excommunicating both women from his life, it seemed the fiancé was willing to enter marriage with this woman.
LimousineLibtard 5 years ago
Literal parasites.
[deleted] 5 years ago
This is actually well-written, and reminds me of that article that one guy wrote in response to the 30s woman article.
found it https://thoughtcatalog.com/leo-steven/2014/04/dear-girls-who-are-finally-ready-to-date-nice-guys-we-dont-want-you-anymore/
YaBoiTrippin 5 years ago
Where's the original article he responded to?
[deleted] 5 years ago
I think this one.
https://thoughtcatalog.com/anonymous/2014/04/dear-nice-guy-i-wasnt-ready-for-you-before-but-i-am-now/
Kornstar04 5 years ago
The only single mum it doesn't apply to is a widower. . . who didnt kill her husband (1 every 10 days)
houseoftolstoy Mod 5 years ago
Nobody should ever call a widow a "single mom." The term exists for a reason, and every disingenuous tool that purposefully conflates the term only makes it more of a hassle to explain that single mothers are (most often) single mothers because of their own bad choices. Widows understandably get sympathy for their circumstances, which is why the terminology often gets conflated.
Mods_Lick_Ass 5 years ago
That's an excellent point. Widow is a major distincton.
[deleted] 5 years ago
You're much more civil than I would have been.
My resonse would be something like.
"Lol what? You think a man like me who has his shit together is going to spend time, money, and affection on some used and abused bitch and her bastard offspring? GTFOH"
xxcups 5 years ago
Single moms fuck Chads a the drop of a hat. Whenever their schedule permits, and they get out, they are "getting their romp in the hay" with the guy their vaginas want. The next day they think about the guy they wish they had - financially responsible loving father figure. Even while they fantasize about Chad's bod (no homo) they will come up with crazy talk justifications like this broad did.
BewareTheOldMan 5 years ago
Single Mothers "fantasizing" about Chad/Hot Dudes versus placing serious effort into securing a "financially responsible and loving father figure" they should have MARRIED in the first place.
By the time they realize their mistake it’s too late – Good Men have zero interest as well.
Single Mothers…always shooting themselves in the foot.