Time to refresh on some of the common shit tests and good answers to them. Bonus points for creativity. Add your own shit tests, answers, or both to this thread.
If you're not familiar with shit tests, check out Illimitable Man's Shit Test Encyclopedia
- I have a boyfriend
- Buy me a drink
- I bet you say that to all the girls
- How many girls have you slept with?
- Will you watch my drink while I dance / bathroom / etc?
- I'm not having sex with you.
- You're too short/ugly/fat/etc
- Aww, did I upset you?
(Add more if you got 'em)
fuckingjakedebrusk 5y ago
chick claims to be a virgin while flirting. Could be true, but honestly seems like a lie, and I have no idea why she said it
UpperRedSide 5y ago
What about:
"Let's go out together!"
"Why?"
lifestuff69 5y ago
My style is a combination of serious and witty, with occasional bouts of extreme playfulness. I like to get women to take me seriously, while also thinking of me as fun. I like to push and pull and try to get them to get the playful side out of me after seeing hints of it. Responses obviously depend on several factors, but a few of my favorites:
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I have a boyfriend
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Buy me a drink
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I bet you say that to all the girls
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How many girls have you slept with?
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Will you watch my drink while I dance / bathroom / etc?
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I'm not having sex with you.
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You're too short/ugly/fat/etc
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Aww, did I upset you?
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lifestuff69 5y ago
BONUSES (some from other threads):
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What do you do for work?
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Bring my my shoes!
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Are you a player?
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Who are you?
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I am not that easy!
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Do you have a girlfriend?
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Let's just be friends.
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(from other thread) ”Josh asked me to hang out with him at the beach and offered me free gym lessons."
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You are disgusting
Sir_Distic 5y ago
My personal favorites to the "I have a boyfriend" shit test are :
Both have gotten me shocked laughs every time. After the second rejection I simply say "ok" and move on.
"Buy me a drink" 'Why would I do that?' "To be nice." 'Why don't you give me a blowjob? You know to be nice?"
willynewport 5y ago
"You look a lot like a guy I know" asks friend to confirm
This "guy" was her ex...lol
ZigzagLumen 5y ago
I have a query as the topic of shit tests has come up:
When giving a response (agree & amplify particularly), should the tone err on the side of sarcasm, or be more a genuine insinuation?
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[deleted] 5y ago
Shit tests? Let me pull out my alpha-sperg excel spreadsheet!
I have a boyfriend. -
I have a wallet(bad, presents youself as the beta bux) | So you have a walletBuy me a drink. - You're thirsty, I can tell
I bet you say that to all the girls. - Only to the sassy ones
How many girls have you slept with? - None so far. Pause. It's not even 11pm.
What do you do for work?
- I'm a garbageman, I only dress up Fridays (this one credit to James Tusk)
Feedback welcome.
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FirstLastMan 5y ago
I get this all the time. My go to's are:
What, this week?
Count three on my fingers-- Around three hundred
Trenned_out 5y ago
Had a scenario in a "never have I ever" game where a beta though he was calling me out. SAying never have I ever slept with more than 3 girls...
I said "Umm do you mean in a night??? Because that's my average weekend"
He was pissed but all the women present had that look of "omg he's dangerous and bad but I like it" and I ended up hooking up with one later on that night.
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FirstLastMan 5y ago
It's meant to be sarcastic/deflecting because she initially thinks I'm just going to say "three" but it's obviously not three hundred. But yeah, point taken.
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womans_algorithm 5y ago
Kinda funny, but it comes off as you defining yourself as beta bucks. Not a good way to start.
What? I don't understand it.
Trenned_out 5y ago
If you don't understand that you're autistic and just looking on this forum for copy pastes to say IRL instead of truly trying to internalize the concepts
Kyson5 5y ago
Thirsty can also mean desiring sex
Ie "yo dis nigga thirsty yo" "This bitch thirsty for the dick"
The trick here is getting that little hamster to warm up and start spinning, by making a declaration that she is thirsty, followed by a cheeky wink or grin- you're suggesting indirectly she wants to fuck you, play your cards right and she will play along with that all night.
Fuck it up and you just move on to the next
Women love to be lead into shit, so you dictate her mental state with hidden meanings like this, and both have a good night full of smashing some of dat gushy wet wet
Comprehende?
womans_algorithm 5y ago
Si senor, just needed the translation though, io no americano.
gaspaonrocks 5y ago
In french we say 'gourmande', which is roughly hungry for good/sweet food.
So in a bar settings that would fall flat, unless there's some chicken wings, dips or whatever...
Kyson5 5y ago
Or maybe, she's referring to that peepee you're rocking, maybe she wants to sit on it or have you put it inside her
[deleted] 5y ago
Yeah, just realized you can interpret it that way. Rather aimed at comparing the bf to the wallet.
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[deleted] 5y ago
Good tip. Changed, will keep in mind.
NoFap_FV 5y ago
I have a better response based on that, instead of "So you have a wallet" why not "Yeah, I have a wallet too"
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Korrangar 5y ago
When you meet a chick on tinder she always asks you "what are you looking for on tinder?" what's the best answer guys?
Trenned_out 5y ago
" A girl who can finally appreciate me for more than my handsome face and broad shoulders."
Fulp_Piction 5y ago
A best friend since my dog ran wway
AdmiralFiz 5y ago
Usually I go for something stupid "my dad, he left when I was young"
Or a pressure flip "you maybe, hbu?"
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Trenned_out 5y ago
This is great. I almost always "pressure flip" as well.
I say, well I think it's disingenuous to know what you "want" from anyone before you get to know them.
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Tom_Bryantkobe_Brady 5y ago
The best response I have ever witnessed to the buy me a drink one:
" hmm.. maybe, only if your going to sleep with me?"
"WHAT?? your such a pig why would you ask that, you think you deserve that just for a drink"
"well...are you a hooker or a beggar? you want me to pay for this drink for what, I thought you were capable of getting your own, so which is it darling, hooker or beggar?"
she storms off and gets angry, literally comes back 5 minutes later "oh you again, what would you like from me this time hun?"
"you're just..sooo interesting I just want to hangout"
....LOL
classicverdant 5y ago
While it's good to put the idea of sex out there, it still implies buying her something just to have her sleep with you. I would avoid such phrasing.
Fulp_Piction 5y ago
Copied rps's comment cause formatting.
I'll start with some of my favorite answers:
For those new to shit tests, the goal is to agree and amplify.
I have a boyfriend
"Cool, can I meet him"
Buy me a drink
"Buy me two drinks"
I bet you say that to all the girls
"Only the nice ones"
How many girls have you slept with?
"No idea wby" - fast, pressure flip
Will you watch my drink while I dance / bathroom / etc?
As rps said, have it half drunk by the time she returns, but be talking to another girl.
I'm not having sex with you.
"Ok" - this isn't a shit test, it's a rationalisation that you can fail if you take it seriously.
You're too short/ugly/fat/etc
"God had to make it fair somehow"
Aww, did I upset you?
You can't take this seriously ever - A&A, laughing, something like "Yeah, can't you see I'm in hysterics here"
Bonus Shit Test:
What do you do for work?
Say the first thing that pops into your head
"I hoover the farts out of spacesuits"
"I own a glow-in-the-dark-hedgehog farm"
"I'm the booty inspector"
tekkato 5y ago
I have a kind of FR regarding "Buy me a drink". In a bar a young woman approaches, flirt with me and asks me to buy her a drink. She had an awesome ass, those that only seem to be on instagram.
The most beta friend I have was in the bathroom at that time. I said this to her: "Now a tall, blond man is going to come out of the bathroom. Game him like you just tried to game me, he's going to buy you the drink Once you have the drink, come with me" It worked very well, I got a free drink and a good ass effortlessly
MisterDSTP 5y ago
You did NOT fuck her. And why'd you do that to your boy?
[deleted] 5y ago
I bet you say that to all the girls
I bet you say that to all the boys.
Starcruiser28 5y ago
I bet you say that to all the boys.
redpillschool Admin 5y ago
I'll start with some of my favorite answers:
For those new to shit tests, the goal is to agree and amplify.
I have a boyfriend
"Me too... don't tell him about us!"
"Well he's certainly not invited..."
"Does he like to watch?"
Buy me a drink
"Great idea, you go first and I'll buy the second round."
"Two waters, please!"
I bet you say that to all the girls
"Only the ones I sleep with..."
"I also like to whisper it to horses..."
"You're the first girl I've ever met..."
How many girls have you slept with?
Start counting on fingers, borrow her fingers and count those.
"I'm actually saving myself for jesus."
"None since I got here." (Or "only two or three.... since I arrived")
Will you watch my drink while I dance / bathroom / etc?
My absolute favorite move on this one is to simply drink it when they hand it to you.
I'm not having sex with you.
"Finally somebody who likes me for who I am!"
"Good! I thought you were just in it for the sex!"
Note: If she brings up sex, she's thinking about having sex with you
You're too short/ugly/fat/etc
"I know! God couldn't give me a big dick and... xyz"
"Usually people complain I'm not X enough! Thanks for the compliment."
(Essentially own it. If you're fat though, diet and hit the gym bro.)
Aww, did I upset you?
"Yes, I'm crying right now on the inside."
"Yes, my world is full of pain now." (look like you are trying to cry but can't)
"Very much, I'm going to write about this in my journal tonight. 'dear journal today a girl was really mean to me'"
Bonus Shit Test:
What do you do for work?
"I dress up like a news anchor to convince others I'm not a super hero."
"I'm the guy that cleans up dog shit in parks."
"My mom gives me an allowance every time I shower"
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redpillschool Admin 5y ago
Sometimes the girl flinging the shit tests isn't the girl you're targeting. You'd know that if you tried talking to girls.
ECoast_Man 5y ago
LOL I used to do this all the fucking time back in college when I drank more. A kindred spirit.
Man, that was always a solid play.
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AWorseManThanYou 5y ago
Great stuff. “Watch my drink” and drink it all is the only response.
“Did I upset you” I can tell you’re guessing BTW. It’s cool, I’ve never had it either. Kinda a weird shit test to get. It implies you failed one already.
Good step with the bonus shit test. I simply say “I won’t tell you, but here’s what I love to do <passionate discussion on my hobby>”
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Trenned_out 5y ago
I often tell girls I'm a male stripper. base teh second response off what they say. It helps if you look the part clearly lol. But for me I have a law degree so I can contrast the douchey confidence about my physical appearance with the education.
redpillschool Admin 5y ago
Rule of thumb for attraction is show don't tell. You can't tell her you're awesome. But she can see it.
I know it kind of sucks because you worked hard for prestige, but you can't bring it up on first meet. She has to discover it.
plokman 5y ago
There'll be time for that, but jumping through her hoops (trying to impress her / be good enough for her) at the start is gonna wreck attraction.
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AWorseManThanYou 5y ago
This is too advanced for this thread bro.
You are doing advanced push/pull when this is basic shit tests.
NaturalShifts 5y ago
I agree, AA too much and you come across as a one trick pony that's faking the impression of a confident person that 'gets it'.
She's supposed to be qualifying herself to you, not the other way round. You're meant to show her that she isn't wrong with her decision making when it comes to hooking up with you. AAing too much comes across as trying to convince her you're something you're not. She'll see through it eventually, and when she does, you're fucked.
She'll forever have that impression that you're someone that fakes the impression of 'getting it'. No matter what you do at this point, you will always be perceived as a faker in her eyes.
It's simply better to set boundaries while sporadically using AA to let her know that you 'get it' and that you're not putting up with her shit.
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GroundhogLiberator 5y ago
Agree and amplify. It’s the only thing that works for me personally.
ziomgg 5y ago
AA is the Approach Anxiety actually :P
erthian 5y ago
This is why a lot of guys get stuck in clown mode. They get a laugh and a touch on the arm, and get terrified of shifting gears. Really, just kino fast and escalate. Be aggressive, isolate. You wont learn the nuances until you just do it.
Trenned_out 5y ago
Exactly. Build the attraction through AA and a bit of aloofness. It becomes very obvious if she's into you or not at that point. From there it's just a matter of experience. '
Gradually increase teh touching and if she's not into it enough to smash that night... Then go for the second or third date.
Personally I have the highest long term retention rate of plates if I wait til the 2nd or 3rd meetup to have sex. It bypasses the anti-slut defense so they feel like you are a witty charming hot guy who seduced them. Often a first time fuck makes girls feel too slutty.
Clearly your strategy should depend on the girl in question. As my n count approaches 100 I just dont care about one night stands unless its an exceptionally attractive girl. I care more about the introverts who I bring out their witty flirty and eventually freaky side....
It has been infinitely more rewarding than the smokeshow "bad bitches" I went for in my early 20s.
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AlmightyPhoenix 5y ago
Finish your metamorphosis into the Joker and WIN AT LIFE
markinsinz7 5y ago
I don't know mate, quick escalation and agressiveness right after passing shit tests have backfired on me. But ofcourse I haven't really paid much attention to it
erthian 5y ago
There's a process. The more you do it, the quicker it goes. It can and will back fire for sure.
Mysterious_Thing 5y ago
This might be a stupid question, but how is "What do you do for work?" a shit test?
lifestuff69 5y ago
Translation: "Are you a provider? I am trying to make you talk about yourself and prove yourself to ME. This will affect the rest of the interaction."
Mysterious_Thing 5y ago
Still don't see it as a shit test. I feel like you guys see everything as a shit test. You don't have to have a witty remark to everything she says to you. That will get old and boring pretty fast. Don't be a clown.
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lifestuff69 5y ago
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Not if you do it right. ;)
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Also, you want her trying to impress you, not the other way around. That is the general point I was trying to make.
Mysterious_Thing 5y ago
It also depends on what you actually do for a living. If you are an office rat, or if you are a firefighter makes a huge difference in what you tell them.
indigo-rain 5y ago
By that logic, if she asks you to hold her bag, you should start rummaging around her purse and applying mascara and lipstick?
Haki_User 5y ago
The point is wit not logic.
redpillschool Admin 5y ago
I don't recommend that.
bsutansalt 5y ago
If she asks, just say no. "No" is a giant rapport break and shows you have a backbone. Just make up for the rapport break later by rebuilding some comfort. That's the general cyclical back and forth that takes place when you're flirting. Go too hard in one direction without enough of a recovery and then you stop being fun and start being an asshole or a weirdo.
moroi 5y ago
I once found a knife in there that she brought just in case I was a perv or murderer. Fun time was had explaining and laughing about this with first random stranger that walked by.
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haroldpeters 5y ago
I once had to go through a girls purse to find out her name, the morning after haha..
jonpe87 5y ago
"I have a boyfriend" not to fast
"Buy me a drink" water here is free
"I bet you say that to all the girls" yes
"How many girls have you slept with?" I dont know
"Will you watch my drink while I dance / bathroom / etc?" Your drink? while drinking it
"I'm not having sex with you." Already?
"You're too short/ugly/fat/etc" and hot
"Aww, did I upset you?" what?
haroldpeters 5y ago
I have a boyfriend
" Sorry I don't do threesomes with other guys"
Warped_Mindless 5y ago
Protip: If you never know how to respond to a shit test, jusy shrug your shoulders and go on like she never said it. Law of least effort in action.
PoliticallyCo_rekt 5y ago
her: what do you do for work?
me: shrug you wanna kino?
Works every time.
Cloak77 5y ago
What if they double down?
Trenned_out 5y ago
go over the top. Male stripper or something of the like.
AnimaCorpusLucra 5y ago
Let me try
Never ever take anything seriously it's a game and in general you gotta like it even when she gives you a challenge, see it this way and shit test pass themselves without thinking. Always reply with a cock and playful/funny attitude to a shit test
I mean cocky.. Cocky
classicverdant 5y ago
GF always says "You never compliment me" or something to that effect every time I pick her up, even after the occasional times I do say something nice. What's an appropriate response that would maintain my frame?
memphisjohn 5y ago
How many girls have you slept with?
"sleeping... we aren't going to do much sleeping" - delivered with a devilish grin
novalentineforyou 5y ago
If she tells you that she has a boyfriend, (just a suggestion) she is probably not worth the time and mental energy. I'd next her and go pursue other women.
virusofthemind 5y ago
IHAB is the most common autopilot response you will ever hear. If you next her you're doing yourself no favours. Just barrel through as if it was never said.
dogenes09 5y ago
Patting the seat next to her.
thismightnotbetaken 5y ago
Since this post is about shit test let me share a sticking point of mine that is relevant to the topic at hand (but askTRP is the appropriate place) –
or another variation of it
I feel these two ones are very much double binds. Unfortunately I was out of ideas when hit with them.
dirk1971 5y ago
I think the dress would look better on my bedroom floor
redpillschool Admin 5y ago
"I need a before and after to answer honestly. Here, take it off"
anal_coke 5y ago
This is my absolute favorite response to a shit test
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hopelesshotel 5y ago
the trick is to compliment the dress not her. “i like the color/pattern” (or just simply the dress) or a kino version, touch it and say (i like the fabric...” etc.
complimenting her in any way is validation
virusofthemind 5y ago
"Do I look fat in this dress?"
"Don't blame the dress"
virusofthemind 5y ago
I have a boyfriend
"Do you have his permission to talk to other men?"
"Why are you telling me this?"
Buy me a drink
"Are you unemployed?"
I bet you say that to all the girls
"Only the ones I think might have something going for them"
How many girls have you slept with?
"I don't kiss and tell"
Will you watch my drink while I dance / bathroom / etc?
"Why what does it do?"
I'm not having sex with you.
"You're not there yet..."
You're too short/ugly/fat/etc
"I'm the dude, that's all that matters."
Aww, did I upset you?
Only in that you're giving me unconscious psychological tests to see how I react, 'disappointed' would be a better word"
Bonus Shit Test:
What do you do for work?
"You wouldn't believe me so I'm not saying"
Important note
After giving your reply keep talking and preferably in a way which asks a question. "questions" elicit a mild threat state so she focuses on the answer she's going to give you. Your reply to the shit test then passes direct to the unconscious without due appraisal by her conscious cognitive mind. Attraction ensues.
Sir_Distic 5y ago
My response to "What do you do for work?" is:
"I'm part of a bureau that licenses, monitors and polices...alien activity on the planet Earth."
Bonus points if they get the reference.
SalesOverEverything 5y ago
Are you unemployed... ahahahaha
virusofthemind 5y ago
A reply which you can use across the board is to just look her in the eye and say "You know what they say about girls who ask that?" and then don't tell her.
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redhawkes 2 5y ago
I have a boyfriend
"I just met you and you're already telling me your problems."
"I thought you were a lesbian."
"Only one?"
"I have a girlfriend, shall we introduce them?"
Buy me a drink
"It says no alcohol under 18 (watch the hamster spin)"
"You're adult, you can buy it yourself."
"No, but you can buy me one."
"Do you say that to every guy?"
"This guy over there looks like he wants to buy you a drink."
I bet you say that to all the girls
"Guys too."
"No, every other."
How many girls have you slept with?
"Not many. They snore really loud."
"All of them."
"Today? If you're lucky, you'll be the third."
Will you watch my drink while I dance / bathroom / etc?
"10$ a minute."
"No, it's grown up."
"Drink it"
I'm not having sex with you.
"Of course, you think Im that easy?"
"All you think is sex."
"Me too, I prefer fucking over sex."
You're too short/ugly/fat/etc
ZFG and Amused Mastery
"We're the same size while laying down."
"Yea I need ladder to climb you."
"You should see me without a makeup.."
don't be fat, hit the gym
Aww, did I upset you?
"Yea, now I'm gonna buy a cake and eat it by myself."
"Make some sad face with shit eating grin"
Bonus:
How many girls you're seeing?
“Take a ticket and get in line.”
“There’s always room for one more.”
"One at the time"
How much do you make?
"How much you charge?"
"Why? I'm not paying for your services."
I'm old for you
"I'll make an exception."
"Let me introduce you to my grandpa."
"I'll be fun when you'll calling me daddy later."
How big is you dick?
"Biggest on I've seen so far."
"About threefiddy."
Is she your gf?
"Shes my sister" smile then slap her ass. "If she plays her cards right...we'll see" "Nah, we're just fucking."
Note: The most important thing is the delivery. Don't take the shit seriously and have fun with it.
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huhub 5y ago
Wifey: "You haven't bought me flowers recently".
Me: "You too".
gaspaonrocks 5y ago
That doesn't work.
Wifey feels entitled to all kinds of bullshit from you, money, flowers, gifts, dates, holidays, your Chad friend when you're not home, etc...
My now ex actually told me that she doesn't have to provide anything to the relationship since she gifted me with our daughter...
I completely stopped to mess with her after that. She's clearly delusionnal.
So yeah once you're married or live with your LTR, good luck !
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ButteredPastry 5y ago
"Really? That's surprising." (not mine, I saw it in a comment in another thread)
"Why?" Then hear her say some stupid shit like "oh because I'm cute/you like me" and then just say no with a grin.
"oh yeah, even their moms" This one is true for me because I like MILFS lol
I never answer this one. I respond with something similar whenever I'm asked about my age ("how old do I look?"), I look very young so every woman I meet is surprised when they hear I do adult shit. "How many do you think I've slept with?" Let the hamster spin.
"We agreed on just hanging out but I like how it's already in your mind" go for the kill
"God just wanted to level the playing field"
I've only heard this one once, and she was a huge fan of The Office like me, so I replied with a Dwight quote: "Are you trying to hurt my feelings? Because if so, you are succeeding. Fortunately, my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man's." Got a good laugh
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LouderWithBowser 5y ago
"How many women have you slept with?" "More than one, less than a hundred"
Sir_Distic 5y ago
"All of them have been women."
Self-honest 5y ago
During sex with a new girl, "Oh you're a talker...? I'm not a talker."
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Self-honest 5y ago
I like the last one. I went with a chuckle then saying everything I wanted to say while she dug her fingernails into my arm. Haha.
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Shankar_ 5y ago
What's a good response to "you've got to earn it first" when asking for nudes/escalating physically?
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Vikingcel 5y ago
The take away here is that if you're attractive you can get away with cringy shit and they'll eat it up anyway.
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Vikingcel 5y ago
So I was pretty much right. You could've said "beep boop nigger faggot" and if she was into you she'd gobble up whatever you say like it's your dick.
Ps cringe
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Vikingcel 5y ago
Why does this read like a bail out?
NeverLace 5y ago
Your response to # 2 is good/funny. will definitely use those.
ArchetypicalDegen 5y ago
These are pretty cringey responses. They come across as too angry, and flying into a rant as a response to a question just looks insecure.
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Trenned_out 5y ago
Oh so (insert her drink here) is only for pretentious douches?
Or AA, yea just came from my box down the street...
Yea of course I'm clearly the biggest frat boy ever... (depends on your look, can make sense if you are clearly not a frat boy)
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SalesOverEverything 5y ago
Great responses. Those who don’t like it are retarded.
How long will you keep a response going like the dungeons and dragon one? Does it become a motif during the night?
NeedingAdvice86 5y ago
Be wary of using such responses because for many truly hot girls, even mentioning something as nerdy as fucking dungeons and dragons is an instant disqualifier unless you look like Kellan Lutz.
This type works well at Com-con or Rad-con events, not so much at the tailgating party on a Saturday afternoon.
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U_Lika_Da_Tomato 5y ago
All of this comes across as extremely pretentious.
untonyto 5y ago
It's all about the delivery. Wit. If you doubt your material it will show up as jitters.
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thoughtlow 5y ago
Thank you for your content. Can you do some shittests for LTRs, like:"you are getting too big" ect
Not in one right now but I think we can all learn from your examples.
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ShotgunTRP 5y ago
There’s a lot of confusion with what is a comfort test so I don’t blame you for fucking this up
Clear examples of a comfort test
“Do you love me”?
“What do you think about me”?
“Am I just a sex toy to you”?
“Why don’t you do [x] anymore”?
“Stacie’s boyfriend buys her flowers all the time”
“You are always checking out other women”
“Stop going for cigarettes after sex I need cuddles”
This example of “you’re getting a bit chunks” is a clear Shittest
The difference is how begging the seemingly required beta response is. The wider your smv gap the more the comfort tests will come pouring in.
Edit: I miss understood bigger as fat and not ripped
thoughtlow 5y ago
Thank you. Really insightful comment again. I really like your writing style. I will read the post about deer and dare another time.
Shankar_ 5y ago
I love your writing style too and I think it resonates with me. Thanks bro
Trenned_out 5y ago
I completely agree but also find it odd that girls actually ask this shit, in regard to the gym. Maybe it's because the only LTR's I've had I was already clearly a gym rat. So if I upped the dose or bulked etc.... It was just "omg babe you look even bigger than usual" guess my thing may be situation dependent. But I would personally not be into a woman for a relatioship if she ever questioned why I was a the gym in a way implicitly reasoning that's a negative. '
For me that is a solid next.
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RedDeathClock 5y ago
IHABF
Don't get ahead of yourself, this is only the first time we have met.
Tell him to quit cock-blocking.
Do I look like Dr. Phil to you? I don’t want to hear about your problems.
Thats fine, I can be your man-friend.
I bet you have a small dick
I'm flattered you're thinking about my genitals, but I'm more than a sex-object.
Bigger than yours.
So....you like losing money gambling.....you'd be a model mother.
Bigger than all the ladies' combined here.
No, I had a surgery and now I have to tie it around my waist.
Are you married?.....Cuz I wear a $600 diamond ring on my right hand that I won gambling.
Am I blonde? [I'm Indian].
Just devoted to Cthulhu.
We aren't that far into the relationship yet, sweetheart.
What do you do?
I'm a G. I. Joe at MURICA
I teach yoga and tantra.....
I am a moonshine connoisseur.
Why are you talking to us?
You seem like an easy target.
Yes, we always end up in the same place. [This works surprisingly well.]
I'm delivering Cthulhu's message; don't be nice to brown guys. [This doesn't always work, but when it does, it's ON.]
Izvinite!! Eta svobodnaya strana.......[Excuse me!!! This is a free country.....in Russian.]
Will you buy me a drink?
I'm sorry you've got me confused with every other guy you've met.
Let's ask that guy over there. [Ask some guy to buy us a drink, worked for me a couple of times.....DHV, demonstrating resourcefulness.]
You first.
I don't give my number to strangers/people I just met......I need YOUR help with this.
But what if you need tech support? [I'm Indian, but I've got a British accent.......I just have this one and it often works.]
???
For me, I find it more challenging to get shit tests than to pass them.
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SlurpTime 5y ago
I'd like to add one to the "you have small dick category." I picked it up from some kid in high school. He used to say, "two inches going 200 miles an hour, I've never heard a bitch complain yet." Which I always thought was pretty funny.
v0v4n 5y ago
I LOL'D
t. natural-born Russian citizen
NoFap_FV 5y ago
She brings her trans friend
RedDeathClock 5y ago
What, a fucking mutant? Call Disney!
TheStoicCrane 5y ago
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
Me: "Too many to count."
-Though this might not be a classical shit test but a question like this can be used as an opportunity to display value and confidence.
meowsero 5y ago
Most times I get the "I am seeing someone" instead of "I have a boyfriend". Any good repsonces to that different?
SlurpTime 5y ago
I would look around and say, "...I don't see anyone." Obviously make it clear you're joking and not autistic.
RedPill2018 5y ago
“You’re so sassy”
Trenned_out 5y ago
Dude this means you're doing everything right. Usually I tease teh girl about being sassy first. It works if either A. they are kind of being bitchy and you call them out in a fun way or preferably B. The girl is actually a fun flirty girl who can go back and forth teasing eachother. For me personally this is the perfect scenario to get plate locked in to be super into me. I am a conversationalist and that's always been my "game." I've honed that over the years to the point I tell my buddies that to I need a smart enough girl to game because "you can't entertain trailer trash with Shakespeare" lololo.
redpillschool Admin 5y ago
Gay slap and say "noooo you areeeee"
RedPill2018 5y ago
The girl actually said
“Are you always this sassy?” to which I replied
“Only during that time of the month”
(This suits the format of your question better)
ReasonablePerception 5y ago
This is fucking pathetic.
You assholes are sitting around dreaming up come-backs and snappy answers.TRP has gone to shit.
redpillschool Admin 5y ago
Spotted the virgin.
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justtenofusinhere 5y ago
I have a boyfriend
"I have the cure for that condition"
"You call him, I'll call my girl and it'll be a foursome kinda night."
Buy me a drink
"Bar keep! One water over here."
"Wow! Looks AND a sense of humor!"
I bet you say that to all the girls
"Just the ones I sleep with."
"No, just the ones I don't want to sleep with."
How many girls have you slept with?
"Today?"
Will you watch my drink while I dance / bathroom / etc?
"Sure, just leave it where I can see it from next to that woman over there."
"No."
I'm not having sex with you.
"Of course not, you're not that lucky/hot/interesting."
"Of course not, you haven't earned that yet."
You're too short/ugly/fat/etc
"Sure, but: I look good next to your personality/I'll look like a reed between your thighs"
Aww, did I upset you?
"Not yet, we should go back to your place and you can keep trying."
"Yes, and now you need to be spanked (use with caution)."
"Yes, as you can see from my stiffie of sorrow."
National_Capitalist 5y ago
A lot of times I get"I'm too busy" or "I don't have time"? Does anyone have a response to those?
hopelesshotel 5y ago
personally i wouldn’t do an AA here cause it may not change the outcome if she really is busy. just say it’s cool we can hang out another time
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SirKolbath 5y ago
Your comment is not protected speech. First, you call for violence, which is expressly against Reddit terms of service. Second, your rather pathetic attempt to man shame is against the stated rules of this forum. You have no argument here. Shut the fuck up.
[deleted] 5y ago
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SirKolbath 5y ago
I have. And no, in fact, the Red Pill subreddit does not encourage sexism. Try to have an understanding of what words mean before you shit them out.
I’d also like to point out that your stupid ass chooses to come here. I don’t care for reading the stupid shit at the blooper forum, so you’ll not find me there. I don’t watch CNN, either, but you won’t find me clamoring to have those spaces shut down.
But, like so many betazoid fucktards, you just can’t let anyone else have a space if you disagree with them and what they say. You just have to bring your idiot ass in here uninvited and try to cause a scene. No one is going to remember you five minutes after you leave, whether the mods throw your ass out or your limited intelligence gets bored and decides to go back to playing Overwatch. Best thing you could do is what I told you to do: Shut the fuck up.
If you’re that interested in being blown by a guy perhaps there is a gay sex subreddit you might be more comfortable in.