I'm a young guy. I recently quit a job where I worked with a early 20s single mom, a bit older than me, 2 kids with 2 different guys, overweight but decently attractive. Kinda curvy, DDs, not bad aside from the baggage. Not someone I'd normally go for, but in my mind I could easily swing this chick, and I see her everyday so I wanted to see where things go.
We slowly warmed up to each other, at first she would initiate conversations and talk to me a lot during work, follow me around, wait for me when we were leaving, etc. One day I invited her out to lunch, we talked and ended up adding each other on Facebook. She messaged me after work and we talked a good part of the night. She said I was adorable and was shocked when I said I thought she was adorable too. Fast forward a couple months later I am leaving that job and after talking nearly daily at work, always having lunch, and just enjoying each other's company I caved and told her I had feelings for her. I didn't want to lose her. I assumed this would be music to her ears.
But crushingly she claimed she had told me from the beginning she wasn't looking for a relationship and wanted to do it all on her own. When in fact, early on she had said it was up to me. I routinely flirted at a relationship, and she flirted back. Even accepting sexual favors. But now that I was leaving that job she wanted nothing to do with me..
It was really down hill from here, the 2 weeks before I left she completely changed. She did talk to other guys while we were "talking", but they weren't competition. We both knew this. Then she started talking to single guys she knew would make me jealous and stopped meeting me for lunch. She blatantly flirted with them and played it up while I was around. Usually ignoring me in the process. Her car actually broke down and she routinely denied my offers to give her a ride home. She usually said it was her mother in law driving her, but she later revealed these guys had given her rides home. On top of this she began sharing relationship shit and saying "I wish" and stuff like "someone message me" on Facebook and of course guys from work would like it and comment on it which stroked her ego even more and showed how little I mattered, because she knew I'd check her page.
The funny thing is after I asked for a relationship, she said she just wants to be friends, so I thought yeah that's cool we can still hang out and get lunch but she eventually stopped talking to me entirely. It was a hard lesson to learn, I guess I was just a disposable ego boost for her. She wanted to see if she could reel me in, and once she did she was done with me. She knew exactly how to manipulate me, I'm actually more impressed than anything. I'm sure she has done this with countless other guys and we all thought we'd be the one. Good riddance.
Edit: I'd like to clarify that we did have sex, I think roughly a week and a half after we started talking so I was under the assumption she'd continue putting out. But I fucked that up by being a nice guy.
deeselecter 5y ago
Dear friend. I have been there as it is for u as for her .A man should be a master of emotions. U are leaving the hamstering caused by your presence the magic is leaving. Women and some men don't really love unconditionally whatever u getting is due to some thing abstract u giving as u leave it leaves with u .Be on top be in control. Out of sight out of mind.
NorthLocation12 5y ago
Mate I made the same mistakes as you when I was 19 but not with a single mother. Just move on and don’t talk to women at work for more than 5 mins
Prison4SideofBeef 5y ago
Why are you dating overweight single moms dude? NEVER STICK YOUR DICK IN OBESITY OR CRAZY
civilizedfrog 5y ago
I can't believe that your alpha moves didn't work on a high value woman.
KeffirLime 5y ago
You had two strategies to play here that would have landed her and cocked up both, and inadvertently dodged a bullet.
Beta Bucks - You showed all the qualities of a beta provider, except you're younger, and not well established, not a good candidate.
If it did work, she probably would have had you washing the dishes and taking the kids to school for a once a month pitty handjob. - bullet dodged
Alpha Fucks - Treat her like the disposable single mom she is, pump and dump, bobs your uncle.
It's not that single mom's arent ez. You wanted her to be your slut while nice'guying your way there.
0kool74 5y ago
I can't like this enough. So simple, yet so brutal.
Vaerr 5y ago
I think you're exactly right
Imperator_Red 5y ago
I don't know why this is downvoted. It is flaired as blue pill example and that's exactly what it is. The writing is clear and concise and the message is on point.
Vaerr 5y ago
It was changed from field report, but the outrage kept snowballing.
reyaan7 5y ago
Upvoted it for your honesty.
AllahHatesFags 5y ago
Obese single mothers aren't worth giving the time of day.
TheStoicCrane 5y ago
Or even looking at for that matter.
Fulp_Piction 5y ago
"We talked most of the night" - apply the sidebar before you post again. Jesus.
TheStoicCrane 5y ago
Alot of us have been there but yeah. Aptly worded.
MattyAnon Admin 5y ago
Women always avoid all responsibility. "I told you that..." is something she'll say even if she didn't. The game here is to make you think that she said it, therefore it's all your fault and not hers.
I bet she didn't change and was always like this. Just hid it from you.
You expected too much from her. She's just a woman.
3a. Declaring your feelings and aiming for a relationship is a losing strategy. Women see it as creepy. Try to fuck them, it's their job to try and hold you down. They don't respect you for doing their job for them, and will think "if he's so hot, how come he's trying for a relationship?". Declaring feelings is the death knell to your seduction strategy.
3b. "the one". Fuck that shit. There is no "the one". You see girls, it works for a while, then it doesn't and you move on. That's the whole deal. There is nothing more than that.
Memeandmesomemore 5y ago
The essence of red pill theory in one sentence.
redpillschool Admin 5y ago
This is a great blue pill example. This is a serious learning experience. Both for OP, and for onlookers who read these comments.
northerncalifdude 5y ago
Oneitis for an overweight single mom.
ReasonablyGoodMexica 5y ago
Hey, thick women can be fun depending on where their thickness resides.
That said, you can get oneitis for pretty much anything.
GroundhogLiberator 5y ago
I’ve been a bit down lately but at least I have my head screwed on correctly enough to recognize posts like these for what they are
Crowstarz 5y ago
i'd seriously give you gold if i had one for this comment...
Imperator_Red 5y ago
It does say blue pill example.
[deleted] 5y ago
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exit_sandman 5y ago
Oneitis for an overweight single mom who has 2 kids by 2 different guys would be... oh, okay.
tempolaca 5y ago
Oneitis sucks, you never know where it's going to strike. You can be surrounded by beautiful women but if you aren't fucking them, you brain still can fuck you up if that one ugly girl gives you hope.
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zyqkvx 5y ago
Sounds like she lost interest in him and he's framing it as her trying to make him jealous when she's really trying to make him fuck off. He's thinking if that fat bitch doesn't want me I must [permanently] be worth less than her. Wrong.
Gain some value and move on.
Vaerr 5y ago
Yeah man you're pretty much spot on.
TryDoingSomethingNew 5y ago
You also shouldn't reward her lack of respect and attempts at manipulation.
Abundance mentality, remember! Not easy to move into that mindset, I know, but it really does shift how a man thinks and what he'll tolerate.
A good learning experience, overall.
Thefireman83 5y ago
Is this a troll post?? A redpill man doesn't date women at the workplace and would never consider a single mom for a LTR.
I turn away a lot of single moms that could be easy lays. It's just not worth my time and energy. I want the option of having my own children and don't want another man's child in the picture.
SirKolbath 5y ago
Why would she feel the need to waste her resources fucking you when you were giving away your resources like time and attention for free? You are her beta orbiter.
Vaerr 5y ago
For sure. But my mindset was basically I genuinely enjoyed talking to her, and thought I had a shot at making her my fwb, so if I didn't keep up the attention she would just move on and talk to another guy. We worked together so she would just shove it down my throat anyways and inflate her ego more.
grumpieroldman 5y ago
She is always going to be talking to to other guys.
grandmasbroach 5y ago
That's the exact, fucking, opposite of how you should have done this. Well, she's an overweight single mom, so you shouldn't even be in this situation to begin with. You gave more attention when you should have given much less. Congrats, you are, or were her beta orbiter. Way to go....
SirKolbath 5y ago
The good thing about your post is that you are acknowledging the mistakes you made, such as shitting in a location where you eat. Personally, I would not even consider dating or fucking a girl I worked with until a minimum of three months after I left that particular job, just in case I intended to come back to it.
I think you need to read the sidebar again. Remember, there are 3.66 billion women in the world. The person who has the most power in a relationship is the one who is not afraid to walk away. If you are putting any one of those 3.66 billion women onto a pedestal it means that you are committed on a level that she probably isn’t. This gives her the power over you.
Vaerr 5y ago
Yeah I agree bro. Wish I could go back and hold my frame. I learned a valuable lesson in that even the women you think are at rock bottom, and she admitted she was at her rock bottom, aren't always an easy plate and you need to know when to walk away. Even if she doesn't follow.
SirKolbath 5y ago
You need to walk away especially when she doesn’t follow. It’s kind of a paradox. If she were worth your time, she would follow you when you were walking away. At the same time, if she were worth your time you wouldn’t need to walk away.
it_takes_the_redpill 5y ago
You knew this. Glad you've woken up. The truth is she may have said something to this effect, but she certainly did not "know" this to be the rules.
Derzu_Uzala 5y ago
GTFO of that situation ASAP. Cut her out of your life. Believe me.
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sebastianconcept 5y ago
Move on! Plenty of better things waiting for you. Also, asking for a relationship before having sex? That’s a huge no-no!
ManguZa 5y ago
Dont be her girlfriend in first place.
"I told her I had feelings for her. I didn't want to lose her" What? Can't you just isolate and kiss her? You know, like a man do. I hope, at least, that you told that IRL...
grumpieroldman 5y ago
Yeah ... an older women dating a young guy means she is constantly fighting the feeling that she's taking on another child. As soon as you do a single dumb-kid-naive-thing, like professing your puppy-love for her ... Sahara Desert.
She knows she is an awful catch and here you are oneitis'ing her ... as a younger dude. That means you think your life is going nowhere.
Also, never fucking ever date a single mom - especially not a trainwreck that already has two kids with two dads.
they have already shown you in their actions that they will not control when they procreate and you will just become baby-daddy #3.
As far as you're concerned "single mom" means she doesn't exist.
She has failed every single test thrown her way.
Don't waste a minute of your time.
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HazeIID 5y ago
You were not an enough provider for her.
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tempolaca 5y ago
1) You have oneitis. You already lost the girl, unless you hide it very very well.
2) Girls with two different kids from different fathers is a slut, really. Really you didn't see this coming?
3) Never ask for a relationship, that's the equivalent of being a slut. I know, I did it many times, and never worked.
Better post a picture of her tits because they have to be amazing for her to get that many responses for being a overweight mother of two kids.
BobbyPeru 5y ago
So you became an orbiter for a single mom.
Crowstarz 5y ago
I seriously cringed " I caved and told her I had feelings for her. I didn't want to lose her. I assumed this would be music to her ears." at this line... WTF is wrong with you? do you guys even read sidebar?(1st mistake) or just read some top quality posts and go in for closure with some chubby chick???
You gave way too much attention to her(2nd mistake) and no ,single moms are easy to bang if yo know how to play with em...
stop watching porn(3nd mistake). u must be watching some chubby milf porn that is the only reason u went too low...
AGAIN read the sidebar.
exit_sandman 5y ago
BP indocrintation and listening too much to women.
Lines like this are always touted as the golden bullet in dating; while it's usually omitted that they only work if the girl is crushing so hard on you that she'd marry you on the spot.
jonpe87 5y ago
"She said I was adorable" LOL
TheStoicCrane 5y ago
Adorable to women means he's a plush teddy bear. What they really want is a f**king grizzzly.
OracleofFl 5y ago
...and they don't fuck adorable.
Vaerr 5y ago
We did fuck within 2 weeks of talking believe it or not, but I slowly fucked that up by being a nice guy.
atticusfinch1973 5y ago
For those young guys reading this, it's an excellent post about what NOT to do when dealing with a single mom (or actually any woman), especially one as low value as to be overweight with two kids from two different dads.
Provided services without sex? Check. Emotional disclosure first? Check. Eagerly accepted the LJBF talk and still stayed as an orbiter? Check. Stalking her social media? Check.
Don't Do what Donny Don't Does.
Memeandmesomemore 5y ago
Shouldn't be involved with single moms period.
OracleofFl 5y ago
Simply this: Telling her you have feelings for her is a sure fire recipe for her losing attraction for you. It just doesn't work the way it works in dopey movies where the guy says "I love you" and the hot chick melts in his arms. Wake up!
More simply this: Having and declaring feelings for an overweight chick with two kids from different dudes she wasn't married to in friggin' insane. Clearly you haven't embraced any of the TRP writings on the sideboard. Until you actually read what TRP is about, you will continue to be hopeless.
[deleted] 5y ago
I caved and told her I had feelings for her. I didn't want to lose her.
​
Bluepill is hard to say goodbye too.
This aint a field report, this is on you being a bluepilled faggot.
Just because you want her pussy, doesn't mean you'll get it.
lonelystar82 5y ago
Can the tag be changed from Field Report to Bluepill Example? This is probably textbook example for a beta orbiter.
exit_sandman 5y ago
gELSK 5y ago
// , Harsh and judgmental, but it may be true. People tend to repeat their behaviors when placed in similar circumstances, especially if they haven't learned the first two times.
GL_QUAD 5y ago
Come to think of it, she is right on time for her "independent" phase - however paradoxically it may sound. Still, I bet the mentality is right there: "I'm a hot piece of
asscommodity, therefore just some guy wouldn't do; I (& muh children) deserve the best guy out there - and I intend to keep on window shopping till I get him."Well, good luck there honey, before the window of opportunity closes for you.
There's something indescribably appalling about a woman like that. She is a public fuckbox, a free-for-all(pha) plaything that the rest of us god-fearing, tax-paying, upstanding citizens get to pay for. Fuck this; women like that deserve to shunned from the community (think middle ages).
I know you are not that Sandman, but going MGTOW on her seems like the most sane of choices.
exit_sandman 5y ago
While I usally am not a fan of medieval methods, women like that would indeed deserve a scarlet letter.