TL;DR -- Photography, Salsa, Toastmasters -- all 3 have added value to my life, and despite the naysayers, its a very interesting life.
I started gaming around 6 or 7 years old.
We always had a NES, Ninentdo 64, Dreamcast, Playstation 2, Xbox, Xbox One, Ps4, you name. My dad always had this genuine desire to buy video games for me and my siblings. Even when he moved our nephews into our house, he dropped $450 on a Ps4 to keep these two preteens preoccupied.
I was in a danger zone, and I have been for the last decade.
From the moment I started playing Halo 3 in 2007, I immediately became addicted to the instant gratification. And it has been this way for nearly the last 10 years. I measured this up to me being irresponsible, and not taking care of my own priorities.
I would routinely skip class to play Xbox Live all morning, and leave in the afternoon
Video games are cool, but how cool are they? Who wants to hear me talk about ranking up in Grand Theft Auto 3? Who wants to hear me talk about finishing Red Dead Redemption 2 in 48 hours?
No one...
One thing I observed, when I shrugged off going to the gym (it was bullshit anyway), I had a desire to pickup on different hobbies to make my life more interesting and my life changed.
I created a vested interest in doing more outside of LA Fitness. The reality of it was, I would go to to the gym, throw on my headphones, do my workout, and leave. I had no desire to interact with anyone because I stuck to my workout regimen.
Photography
I said fuck it. I spent about $500 on a camera, and started pursuing a creative hobby. I got tired of feeling like I wasn't meeting new people and creating a new network. This was my medium to meeting new people, and in the process, I ended up hooking up with one of the "models" from our monthly photography meetups here in DC.
I have been doing photography since 2016.
Salsa/Bachata
This is a tough one, but the latin dance community can either be very unforgiving, or force you to constantly step outside your comfort zone. I did just that. After attending my very first Salsa congress, I met at least a dozen people, and ended up hooking up with 1 woman I met a little less than a month ago.
I started doing photography in June of 2018.
Toastmasters
The anxiety of having to speak at family gatherings, work related conferences, and holding a basic conversation, I struggled. To fight this, I signed up for public speaking workshops. Through this, I found myself being able to loosely carry conversation with enthusiasm. I knew and understood more about how to convey a message aside from speaking it. I became more deadly in body language, posture, and eye contact.
This added more to my resume, because I was now able to convey myself in a more positive and outward manner.
I started doing Toastmasters in July of 2017.
Wrapping up
I mention these three, because I started 2 out of the 3 mentioned pre-RP. In the process of development, I became so entangled with fixing a ruined 7 year relationship I hardly recognized that what I was doing, made my life interesting.
Mom and Dad, they both sat on the couch, ate sweet potato pie, and watched television while I learned to pursue creative hobbies. And I didn't even know people would find what I was doing actually interesting.
After becoming RP'd, I started giving myself credit for what I was doing, and understanding, yes, I do live an active lifestyle.
NormalAndy 5y ago
OP is cool because he validates himself.
There are many benefits to isolating yourself from the needs and wants if others but the main take home us being able to foster a positive relationship with yourself.
Abundance mentality, being the prize, being able to say to yourself with pride, “ I am fuckin’ A!”
ELMasTurbo 5y ago
I did the same with the gym. Lifting weights is boring and very isolated. I signed up for a muay thai gym and I'm starting to get abs and all the works. Also have a fight coming up soon so its something interesting to talk about.
TheStoicCrane 5y ago
To each his own. I'll say this though. The reason why you find it boring is because you either don't challenge yourself nor do you take the effort to create and learn about creating programs for growth. Going to the gym is like going to a fitness laboratory for those who understand what to do and how to train.
ZephyrBluu 5y ago
Going to the gym is the opposite of boring for me. It's both a mental and physical exercise, it requires good technique and you can push yourself hard.
I don't understand how anyone who lifts weights and actually tries to progress gets bored unless they are deluded into thinking they would get ripped fast.
TheStoicCrane 5y ago
They lack understand the mechanics involved and think it's just about "picking up weights." OP complained about itbeing too solitary so apparently he was looking for a social club. The gym is an athletic laboratory it's no social meet.
ELMasTurbo 5y ago
I did it for two years and made serious gains and strength but I guess I prefer Muay Thai because at he gym you have team mates and learn skills to fight. In regards to women, they think its pretty bad ass, and apart from hitting pads, bags, and sparring Muay Thai gyms also place a big emphasis on cardio, calisthenics and conditioning. So while when I was lifting weights I was bulkier, doing Muay Thai has leaned me out and I definitely look more muscular now.
mrmarkme 5y ago
I'm planning on doing the same/ joining a salsa class so I can learn how to dance.
GoingTheHardWay 5y ago
Dance is quite a commitment. It'll take you a year or so to get good enough not to be embarrassingly bad with other women. If you have a girl you can take with you to learn at the same time together, then I'd recommend that.
Don't go if you're just doing it to meet women. Only go if you have a genuine interest in learning dance. I don't mean to sound like a gate-keeper, it's important to try new things and see if you like it, but just make sure you're being honest with your motivations.
I had a TON of fun doing swing dance parties with very minimal lessons - Salsa / Bachata was not so much the case, the expectations where higher and most of the women dancing were significantly better than me.
DigitalDragonSlayer 5y ago
Advice for a solo bro who just wants to learn how to dance in general? Should I stick to one style? Sign up for regular classes?
DavidEagle68 5y ago
My thoughts exactly. In some ways, salsa dancing can be very cutthroat.
In spite of not being top tier (been doing it for 5 months), I still find a way to exert confidence by showing tremendous body language and exuding happiness. This definitely helps supersede sometimes shitty technique.
mrmarkme 5y ago
I mean I'm not tryna get crazy good. Just good to were I dont look awkward as fuck and can dance with semi confidence at Spanish gatherings with girls or family
Tripletag 5y ago
I'm currently in rehab for video games. Drugs as well, but mainly video games. These things that provide instant gratification can suck you in with such force that its very hard to balance it out unless you replace them with other 'passions'. I think OP is on the right track, he filled up his time with new and interesting hobbies that allow him to expand his network and stimulate growth rather than let him stagnate.
DamiensLust 5y ago
I hope you mean a self-inflicted metaphorical rehab.
Tripletag 5y ago
No man, actual rehab. Ambulatory care though, so no overnight stays. But I go to meetings, see a therapist etc. I gotta rewire my brain after years of habitual abuse of basically the full range of cheap thrills.
DamiensLust 5y ago
Good for you for taking the steps to improve your life, but as a former heroin addict I'm shocked that you need rehab to quit gaming
Tripletag 5y ago
Gaming is merely one of the nasty manifestations of my dopamine-seeking, self-medicating behaviour. Gaming is just one of the many methods I use to avoid responsibility and is surprisingly hard to quit for a lot of people. The effects of two hours of gaming are comparable to a hit of cocaine. As a matter of fact, gaming addiction has only very recently been recognized by the WHO as a disorder and there's a lot of research being done in its pernicious effect on the brain and spirit.
I suppose that it pales compared to a heroin addiction and the catastrophic effect I'm sure it may have had on your life, but maybe it makes sense to you when I say that if I imagined myself 15 years into the future while continuing that behaviour, I might as well consider myself dead right now.
DavidEagle68 5y ago
Once you start filling your life up with different hobbies, and creating an actual network, you'll find bringing up video games in conversation adds zero substance.
bouldurer 5y ago
Tell us about toastmasters. How does it work? You just show up and talk?
DavidEagle68 5y ago
There is an agenda each club has, and it is typically 2-3 speeches, improvised speaking, and feedback. Great way to get better at spontaneous conversation.
DoodleNutz 5y ago
Wait, you stopped going to the gym?
chrisname 5y ago
I hear dancing is a good way to work out your pelvic floor muscles so you can shoot bigger loads into your bf’s ass ;)
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RedditorFor1OYears 5y ago
Apparently because it wasn't social enough.
TheStoicCrane 5y ago
Exactly. Who goes to the gym to be social?
DoodleNutz 5y ago
Makes no sense. Having some alone time, lifting heavy shit, is like therapy for me.
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DropDeadTyrant 5y ago
agree. the quiet that comes from the gym is ridiculous. it's like you're one with your body and shit. it's the only time I don't need music or companionship to enjoy myself. no thinking, no nothing, just me struggling.
GoingTheHardWay 5y ago
Plus I make friends at the gym too, you can make it social if you're friendly with the regulars.
DavidEagle68 5y ago
I didn’t necessarily stop, I just cut back. I was going 4-5 days a week for 10 years until I had a injury. I still go, it’s mostly 2-3 days now, because there is only but so much you can around a standard work day.
ExaltedR3V3NG3 5y ago
Given a good program (as GLO stated a long time ago, any program as long as it makes you SUFFER in the end), 3 days is more than enough to work out and reap them gainz
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markinsinz7 5y ago
I've been doing similar hobbies - the issue is that I haven't actually made any friends. Like I chit chat, talk about basic shit but it's only seeing them at classes and then that's it.
Have you been able to make a core group. Like a group of 4 or 5 main friends. I still have issues with actually getting a social circle.
DavidEagle68 5y ago
From Salsa, I ended making a network of at least 10-12 people who would do anything to hang out. This is men and women. You can't necessarily get that from the gym, because there is no medium outside of your standard LA fitness.
Psycholephant 5y ago
How much do you typically pay for the lessons? And are you going to a franchise studio or a locally owned one?
DavidEagle68 5y ago
I pay $99 a month for unlimited lessons. Monday through Saturday they offer group classes, and its a great way to network and meet people.
burnyr 5y ago
I've thought about dropping video games, but personally I don't think that'd be a life worth living for me.
Marty30001 5y ago
Completely cutting video games out of your life is stupid - until 5th grade, I didn't know the English alphabet. Once I started gaming a lot, I learned the language much more than my parents who took courses, or my mates who studied through books a lot. They're an interactive entertainment, and it isn't surprising why it's such a massive industry - combining the plots and their depth from books with visuals and sound.
That said, if you dedicate your life to playing video-games(without being a professional in it), it will be a shallow existence. This post is titled "Adding value to your life", and believe me - once you start doing real things, outside, you'll find that games are not only an unwanted distraction, but also much less appealing than personal success.
ReasonablyGoodMexica 5y ago
Before I started to get my life in order I was genuinely afraid of a life without them.
Today, I find myself having little time to play. It surprised me just how little I craved the thing. It's like waking up in the morning perfectly rested and knowing you don't want to go to bed. That's the closest I can describe it.
I still play and enjoy some time of virtual stuff, but I don't have this deadly hunger anymore.
mxrtenxx 5y ago
I think if you genuinely enjoy them , you should keep them in your life (since it makes you happy), just dont get lost in them. I love playing csgo with my mates, but those 3000 hours ive gathered in the past 3 or 4 years couldve been used better. Don't ever value basic entertainment over your goals
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mravek 5y ago
I enjoyed playing the Witcher 3, every minute of it. But I had mixed feelings about League of Legends. The community was toxic, I used to fuck up chairs, keyboards and mouses because of that game... After discovering TRP I finally saw how much energy and opportunities the game sucked out of me. So no more multi-million multiplayer online games for me.
DavidEagle68 5y ago
I can't imagine how many hours I totaled up while trying to rank up in Halo 3. I simply cut into my priorities, and I found myself willing to do nothing an entire day to game. Scary place to be in, and I'm glad I cut back.
kiwifx 5y ago
Fortunately you (hopefully) never got hooked on MMOs. I wasn't a 'worst-case' in my 20's, but I'd have around 2000 hours in Lord Of The Rings Online and another 1000 in Guild Wars 2. That's about 1/3rd of an entire fucking year.
burnyr 5y ago
I get what you mean. Thing is, I got to this state where i'm kinda just waiting to be hit by a bus and video games really help pass the time.
mxrtenxx 5y ago
you need to find joy in life again, we could talk all we want but ill try to cut it short.
its basically whats being preached here and in every self help community/book : try new things in life, step out of your comfort zone. for me this was going to italy with one of my best friends without telling my parents, going out every day and (dont laugh) going swimming at the beach. the last thing was a key experience to me, i am 19 years old and have never learned to swim. by the end of the day i was decent, but the most important lesson i took from that is, that theres so much stuff you could do or try out atleast, but instead you'd rather choose to be stuck in your room, grinding the same old maps that havent changed structure-wise in ego shooters in the past 5 years and rot away.
sorry for the bad formatting and any grammar/language mistakes. if you find em, keep em
yammyha 5y ago
Intrinsic values >face value of materialism. But self presentation does matter in the perception of others