Recently I met my perfect 10. I was mesmerized by her beauty - I actually froze up in front of her during the middle of our first conversation (not typical of me). I am currently, and was at the time when we met, spinning plates (including my ONEitis), but for some reason I idolized this girl. Somewhere inside of me decided I had to have this girl. I wanted her more than anything. I fooled myself into thinking she was different, and I put her on a pedestal.
On the third date with my ONEitis we made dinner at my place, we watched a movie together, and we fucked for the first time. For the first time in a long time I was actually anxious (maybe even excited?) about having sex, as I had been idolizing and fantasizing over this girl for some time. Even though I was anxious I didn't spill my beans and kept my cool, and gave her a fuck she'll be hard pressed to forget - but I realized something when I was balls deep inside her: The sex isn't that great and neither is she. At this point she's no different than any other girl I've put into my bed who's spread her legs for me. After I dumped my load inside her my head started to clear a little and I could see that this girl I had been worshiping isn't any better than me, and I'm not a better person for fucking her. It doesn't make me a better friend, Man, or XYZ because I put my dick in some girl I was fantasizing over.
In addition I started to notice her imperfections, a birth mark, nervous ticks, less than perfect qualities. In my mind I had painted her out to be this perfect angel - but that couldn't be further from the truth. She was so attractive to me because she seemed out of reach, but now that I've had a taste I know it's nothing special.
Another way I was misleading myself is that I was using my ONEitis for validation - "If I can fuck this 10 than obviously I'm the perfect chad that I've always wanted to become." I was looking for acceptance through someone else's eyes, but when I finally got it - it didn't change who I was as a person. Having a beautiful, young girl on your dick or around your finger may win the admiration of needy guys and make other girls jealous - but it doesn't make you a better person.
I've read a few posts on TRP about ONEitis. They're usually written about the girl we can't have, or the girl that's out of reach. So maybe this can give a bit of a different perspective on the topic. Sometimes when things seem just out of reach we want them more because we can't have them. Sometimes if we never see what she's like up close, we'll never be able to see through our ONEitis tinted lenses we're viewing her with. She is just another girl. She's not perfect, I just refused to see her as she really is. The only thing special about her is her looks - and she really doesn't bring anything into my life except another hole to fill. The morning after her phone was blown up with messages from beta orbiters telling her good morning and asking her how her night was (great thanks to me, and thanks for asking). These guys were idolizing her the same way I was by putting this girl on a pedestal and refusing to see her as an equal (or less). They're wasting their time. They don't really know this girl, they just want the fantasy figure they've painted inside their minds.
So if you have a ONEitis you're fantasizing over right now, take a quick moment and consider that she's just a normal girl with above average looks (or just really good at putting on makeup). She has flaws and imperfections - you just haven't known her long enough for them to come out, or you're refusing to see them. Literally the only reason I wanted this girl was because of something that was completely irrelevant to who she is as a person - good genetics. She has flaws and insecurities just like any other girl. She's not perfect and makes dumb choices. She's just looking for her Chad - just like every other girl. "We see the world (girl), not as it (she) is, but as we are."
Edit: I would like to stress the importance of spinning plates and having options. It has helped me greatly. Not only for the abundance mentality, but being able to compare her to my other plates has helped me put things into perspective - but having plates didn't prevent me from developing ONEitis in this circumstance.
Thanks for reading and if anyone is struggling over their ONEitis right now I hope this post helps you.
Bitter
energyinmotion 8y ago
This post just made my day.
[deleted] 8y ago
I mean I've had the same feeling but except after I cum it doesn't go away. I mean I can be turned on thinking about any girl or watching porn and it goes away after I orgasm, but it doesn't happen with the "one" girl like you described.
That's just me personally. So maybe if you get bored after cumming then she wasn't really the "one" or you don't really know what that means. your perception about your perception may have been wrong.
Donny577 8y ago
This post just helped me get OVER my ONEitis. Thank you
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Had2make1eventually 8y ago
I fucked my oneitis when I was still blue pill. Relationship crashed and burned in 2 months because she was an emotional wreck and like I said, I was blue pill and couldn't hold frame.
But in her eyes, I was Chad. We fucked like rabbits and I avoided commitment when she brought it up. So while I was completely heartbroken, I was the classic Chad on her cock carousel, fucking her constantly for two months and avoiding commitment.
revente 8y ago
There are no irreplaceable girls. I have a crush on one girl, who seems a very good match based on chemistry, hobby compatibility etc. She is taken and i don't really like destroying relationships. I don't mind- it doesnt stop me from dating and fucking other beauties, i just use her as as reminder and a benchmark to have high standarts.
ecosci 8y ago
If you cant think of anything else to do with a hot woman after you fuck her then your a redpill alpha.
Pitmpm 8y ago
Having a beautiful, young girl on your dick or around your finger may win the admiration of needy guys and make other girls jealous - but it doesn't make you a better person. -Quote-
PM_ME_UR_BDSM_PICS_ 8y ago
My goal isn't to get the 10. It's to find someone (above a 7) who will submit to whatever the fuck I tell them.
'join a gym' 'lose x pounds' 'eat my ass' 'go on tinder and find a girl to bring over for a threesome'
I mean... if you're literally telling them the things you want from them and they do it, then it's gold.
It also helps when meeting women. If you know you can treat your girl like a fuck slave there's no way you're putting up with sass from some nobody - no matter how attractive she is.
Just think about it - I can meet hotter, smarter, whatever-er women but if they won't literally bring me STD tested college pussy to fuck then they're not as good as my current girl.
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
If that's what you want, then go for it. What works for me is an attuned of firm but not forceful. There are a lot of girls who want to do that kind of stuff, but they also want to feel safe during the process. If you're too forceful along the way than you're going to put her off. Good luck.
PM_ME_UR_BDSM_PICS_ 8y ago
I'm glad they get put off. I'm not negotiating. I'm living the dream with or without them.
I've had women say I must be a virgin because I'm so... I don't know... fantasizingly forceful and demanding.
No bitch, I just know what I want.
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
Hey if that's your flavor then go for it
macandcheesehole 8y ago
Great post. I separated from my wife about a year ago. My first fling was with a former Ms. USA. This girl was hot; not quite like she was when she was a beauty queen, but still the most banging girl I had been with. Not at all worth the hype I had built up in my mind. This girl was just like any other. She had flaws like any other: while passed out after fucking, she was farting like crazy. It was hilarious.
You make a great point: focus on improving yourself, and everything else will fall into place.
bananarepub 8y ago
had a real hottie once, but each time we made love, I felt her asshole stenched the room very badly. and she wasn't that nimble in bed.
sepelion 8y ago
Imagine the ratings if these beauty queens would rip some loud ass when they put the microphone up to them to ask them the stupid questions on TV. "I think the world would be a better place if FAAAAARRRT"
[deleted] 8y ago
Farting story made me lol in public just now.
nonthaki 8y ago
Well , atleast its better than farting .
CHAD_J_THUNDERCOCK 8y ago
How did you find and hook up with her?
Soarinc 8y ago
Shhhhh! You think he's going to answer that honestly? (at least he better not) if more than 2 people know then it won't be a damn secret to anyone!
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questionac 8y ago
Would you rather a landwhale with a mustache doing that instead?
She's still better than the rest.
[deleted] 8y ago
"Landwhale with a mustache"
Profound, this.
Pelikahn 8y ago
She held all that in for you during the date.
The_rectumwrecker 8y ago
Omfg I died when I read this! Hilarious!
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macandcheesehole 8y ago
I give her full credit for holding that in; she must have had a stomach ache from hell. We had actually had dinner in the restaurant I own, so...
Solid_Snake56 8y ago
Lol I'm sure that was crazy hard for her to hold in when you were laying her the business too. ????????
Turkerthelurker 8y ago
The fappening opened my eyes to this one. So many celebrities look so completely average when it's just a selfie.
The photographers and editors are fucking magicians.
kenpachitz 8y ago
Photographer here.
You can barely imagine the process those images run through:
Professional Makeup & Hair
Quality Camera Lenses
Controlled Lighting
Proper Posing
Shooting 100-300 photos
Selecting 5-12 best ones
Editing each image for hours in Photoshop by a dedicated editor
Easily 6 figures if you wanted to acquire the collective amount of expertise, equipment, and labour involved in outputting those images.
You can turn a 4 into a woman hot enough to be on a Victoria's Secret runway.
blasted_biscuits 8y ago
underrated comment. we need to see more of our celebrity idols in natural light and conditions. expensive cameras and photoshop create the pedastalized versions we fall in love with and project onto random women throughout our lives.
bluedrygrass 8y ago
Very underrated indeeed. I have to add that i have no clue how can any millennial still believe in female's purity and lack of lust when it's so damn easy to see precious angel snowflakes taking part in facial cum competitions and try to gag themself over stranger cocks.
There are more videos than you could ever see in your whole life, about the classic book worm girl, the nerdy ones, the ones that you'd think don't even know what sex is, being plowed in any position, anywhere, spreading their legs till they hurt, completely covered in cum and smilingly whispering "i hope my dad don't see that"
I guess most sub 20 yo guys are just too stupid to find amateur porn and only click on Sasha Grey and other fake plastic bitches videos and think only pornstars do those things.
IGoYouStayTwoAutumns 8y ago
"No matter how hot she is, somewhere out there there's someone who's tired of fucking her and sick of her shit."
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RUALUM15 8y ago
Loved this post. Not bragging, hit on key points, and gave us some perspectives to consider. Great work.
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
BoalG 8y ago
As I have said before one here, this is the one place that "bragging" is appreciated. We take these to heart and encourage our brothers. We don't see them as bragging because they are stories about confidence and strength and they inspire us, they don't get rubbed in our face. Bravo u/The_BitterTruth
bananarepub 8y ago
reminds me of part of a French novel I read long ago: after the character finally had his ONEitis he described as so beautifule just looking at made his eyes hurt:
Arizona_Ron23 8y ago
with every perfect 10, there's a dude who sick of her..that's just a reality
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Babybluewhaales 8y ago
The moment where I read that you say a woman is just a fuck toy is that moment as a a woman I want to cry and throw my phone away. That's nasty ass.
HELPCAPSLOCKSTUCK 8y ago
Our goal here with TRP is to not get overly excited about well marketed, shiny objects.
Profound, this
no_face 8y ago
How come your comment is not in all CAPS?
Ptoss 8y ago
I lurk a lot and rarely post but this community has really helped me get through the lonely nights. Im sure TRP has prevented a lot of male suicides and that is something that the creators of TRP should be proud of.
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Toussant 8y ago
Not overly excited doesn't mean they didn't buy.
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questionac 8y ago
Was she right?
Because if she was, there's not much of an argument since you'll get bored of the ball too eventually.
I'd rather get bored of having a gold bar than a piece of wood.
blasted_biscuits 8y ago
Doesn't matter. The fact that she's the one saying it says enough.
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Prophets_Prey 8y ago
My psychotic ex said the same thing to me during the break up phase, verbatim. At first, I actually believed her and wanted to hold on to her. But when the fog cleared, I embraced what she told me, and realised good, I hope I never ever meet anyone like you again.
[deleted] 8y ago
"you'll never find someone like me again." "that's the fucking point."
pandaholic23 8y ago
My first ex said the same thing to me then got I a new girl that's better looking. Then the new girl told me the same thing before we broke up. Pretty excited about the next one.
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PeluzaHT 8y ago
Exactly this is my situation right now
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questionac 8y ago
Doesn't count, she has to be better than her when you got her.
Pinkmistiscool 8y ago
I think you might be missing the point. Even if she is right, the comparison is not a gold bar and a block of wood. She is arguing that all she has are her looks, which will quickly fade, and a pussy, which literally every woman has. The comparison is more like a wood block or a less shiny wood block. They are both equally useless or useful depending on the man. It's the man who sets the frame and terms... Not a woman's looks or sexual prowess.
questionac 8y ago
That's like saying alpha widows set their frame in having provider beta husbands, but we all know they are settling.
If you once had a 10, you must replace it with a 10 else it's settling. You settled for something less and easy going (beta), that is better in other fields other than looks and femininity (beta), because you can't get a better 10 (alpha).
What do men want? A 10. That's it. A better 10 than before and without red flags? Sure, but a 10. Everything else is settling.
Depedestalizing women is good, but it's not the great equalizer. A 10 is a 10, even if it's not as great as the idea some people have.
kyledontcare 8y ago
Gold will retain or even increase in value; her looks and vag won't.
questionac 8y ago
Compared to a less attractive woman, still better.
MelodyMyst 8y ago
And the corollary to that... anybody worth being had is already being had by somebody.
iceman202 8y ago
For every hit piece of pussy out there, there is some dude tired of fucking it. Preach
blasted_biscuits 8y ago
I saw a poster once, had a smokin hot chick in a bikini on it. At the bottom it said, "no matter how hot she is, some dude, somewhere is sick of putting up with her shit."
Denver_Luv3 8y ago
truth is that strange is its own reward and basically every girl gets old after a while. I realized years ago that I never want to be conventionally monogamous again. I truly never want to live with a woman again because that is the worst and makes the sex worse.
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theONE843663 8y ago
This Is so true. Female roommates = never again. I didn't even last a week. Outside of bed, modern women are fucking useless drama Queens and emotional vampire. They were so fucked up I didn't even wanna fuck them. At least my mother can cook better than I can...
sepelion 8y ago
I avoid holiday dinners just because I can't stand the cunts in my family; this modern, Western, secular, feminist-indoctrinated cunt species that is far and away from the supposed previous eras of charming queens (and that was probably still bullshit, but less stinky bullshit).
lqtys 8y ago
You won the thread.
Gold comment.
obds10456 8y ago
Perfect analogy here...for as many people who idolize Beyonce as this carmel-mocha goddess...Jay-Z cheated on her. How's that for perspective? lol
xxblueswiftxx 8y ago
Prince Charles cheated on Diana.
JP116 8y ago
Yep. Billy Joel left Christy Brinkley. Think about that.
LordThunderbolt 8y ago
She's ok, nowhere near a 10 though. That's like a 7bin my book. The face isn't working in her favor.
obds10456 8y ago
"Find the most beautiful woman in the world, and there's a man who's tired of fucking her."
babybopp 8y ago
Hugh grant cheated on Elizabeth hurley...with a hooker.
RPmatrix 8y ago
yeah, hooker's can at least be exciting
TheBrokenRuler 8y ago
To add to that, every news outlet in the world says Nicki Minaj has the best ass that's ever existed. Meek Mills cheated on her (even tho that dude's career is dead as fuck)
lqtys 8y ago
Fat ass is not a nice ass.
Squats are how a good ass is made.
[deleted] 8y ago
She has ass implants. I have no solid proof and won't waste my time looking it up, but just look at old pictures of her and compare them to recent ones. Additionally, every picture and video of her is completely fucked off with editing. That ass ain't even real in my opinion.
Bambam60 8y ago
All you gotta do is look at the quads/hamstrings.
Women with those type of asses have absolute cabooses with pencil-thin legs under them. Doesn't take much detective work seperating the two.
Toastlove 8y ago
Nicki Minaj is the literal definition of Ghetto trash beauty though.
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p3n1x 8y ago
Shut up, you would fuck her :)
NeoreactionSafe 8y ago
Oneitis occurs when your sex hormones "influence" your mind and bend reality to fit what is desired. You see what you want to see and do "self blinding" of everything else.
Game works the same way on other people when you use it.
So these ideas are all related to reality in the "bigger picture" understanding.
Our task in the Red Pill is to realize the myths (the emotional tricks being played upon us) and destroy those myths in our mind.
"Kill the Beta" means "Wake Up" or "Destroy the Myths" or "See the Light" and it's all about seeing objective reality instead of subjective reality.
The beta is purely subjective and programmed.
Ego is the wildcard... it breaks from subjective programming, but can get lost in other ways, but you need to separate to see what you were doing as a beta.
questionac 8y ago
That's true, everyone who had more than one "oneitis" should see it, since he can't feel anything for the past one(s).
Yet that doesn't stop him from feeling for the current one.
Stupid brain.
[deleted] 8y ago
What if you never had more than one?
questionac 8y ago
Then you have to take other people's word for it, and do your thing while you wait for it to get out of your system.
NeoreactionSafe 8y ago
Always remember the Irish guy at the bar telling you a tall tale.
After a while you get sucked into the illusion he is spinning... pretty soon you believe the story he is telling you.
Later when you sober up you think about the story and realize it was complete bullshit.
As the saying goes:
"There's a sucker born every minute."
...nothing is new.
The only difference with Oneitis is we bullshit ourselves... stupid brain.
RPmatrix 8y ago
it's that bloody Irish accent, it's so bloody convincing!
NeoreactionSafe 8y ago
And the more you drink the more true his story seems.
Alcohol both reduces the number of thoughts as well as promotes thoughts so that they hold higher emotions.
https://youtu.be/-Fulz4ytZ54
RPmatrix 8y ago
Drs call this being "dis-inhibited"
Thankfully I rarely drink but I still don't mind me some blarney and a laugh at that crazy accent, that the only thing you're sure of is it's ... words being spoken .. i think
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Bubbaluke 8y ago
awesome post dude. I flew home for the holidays and I've been hanging out with my old group of friends, one of which is a recently single girl. She looked really good and I got her running through my head too much, I needed to read exactly this. Cheers, man.
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killsyou123 8y ago
My dad always told me a girl who's interesting after you dump a load in her is a catch haha
questionac 8y ago
The question is, was she better than all the other girls you had? All the previous oneitises? Who would you choose if you had to and why?
That she's not perfect is not an argument if she's still better than everyone else.
Also genetics and physical qualities are very important.
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
I haven't had too many ONEitises, but I wouldn't choose this girl for anything just yet - because I don't really know her for who she really is.
To me, she is the overall most beautiful girl (whole package), but she isn't the funniest girl I know, or the one with the best tits, ass, or best pussy (but they're all great). She isn't the funnest, or the smartest girl I've ever had. She may be better than my other plates in terms of well roundedness, but she doesn't blow any of them out of the water.
Yes she is beautiful but if I was going to choose just one girl (I will eventually when I want to have kids), it would have to be more than just her looks, but also how much I enjoy her company (along with a lot of other things).
This post wasn't to say that she is bad or that I don't enjoy time with her or anything of the sort, it was just to say that putting a girl on a pedestal will make it hard to see her for who she really is and cloud your decision making ability.
EinnobMac 8y ago
Personally, I find sex gets better in LTR's, as your bodies start to sync up. So long as red flags are low...keep exploring. First impressions are just that. First impressions.
nonthaki 8y ago
Yes man , everyone even betas must raise the bar for these fucking bitches .
questionac 8y ago
Sure, but you said
And I'd bet she's better overall than all your past women, which is why you can't say it was proven she wasn't. She's not that better, or has everything better, but she is better overall. Which is why I think in the end you'd choose her, why would you choose one overall worse?
I agree with you generally, but this can't help people with oneitis because you basically agree with their thought that she is better if not much better.
I've yet to see a 7 or 8 win against a 10 unless she has at least a deal breaking red flag.
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
I can't say she is the overall most enjoyable plate to be around - that would keep me from choosing her for anything just yet.
[deleted] 8y ago
I totally understand the validation which comes with fucking your first "10". I still remember mine but I do not think the validation is hollow. For me it did represent the reaching of a goal, and after that I always (and still) felt more accomplished with women. Most men will never fuck a 10, so be glad that you did, do not underestimate your achievement, revel in it.
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The_BitterTruth 8y ago
Hey Captain,
Thanks for your reply. I like it when someone is able to speak against the crowd, especially when they know their opinion is against the grain and popular opinion.
Yes I am in it only for myself. That's life though. Everyone is in it for themselves - even if they weren't I would still be in it for myself. No argument against being shallow an self-centerd.
I will take the time to explain this further because I didn't write it in the original post. I haven't lost interest in her. Honestly I have quite the crush on her.
This isn't what I meant by my post. I don't think she's not worthy of me. If anything I'm the weird one who has to consciously not idolize a girl that he's dating. My idolization of her is unhealthy for both her and I. This post isn't about how don't give a fuck about her anymore, it's that I've re-calibrated my perception of her to a realistic level.
Yes
Ultimately, if I decide to objectify her or not is up to me, but I appreciate your comment and concern.
goldaxis 8y ago
Been lurking for a week and still haven't figured out what this sub is supposed to be about. Some fine line between men's rights, self improvement, and objectifying women?
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
Gold,
That all depends who you ask honestly. There are a lot of angry bitter people on TRP (such as myself) who hold a lot of resentment, but resenting women isn't what TRP is about.
You should read the side bar, and some of rolo's posts. If you're still interested or have questions after that you can send me a message with a question or two.
Good luck,
Bitter
NoFapMat 8y ago
This sub essentially is supposed to be about learning to get laid easily.
bsutansalt 8y ago
Next time you guys idolize some chick, remember what we tell little kids... Everybody poops.
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xRedStaRx 8y ago
But what if I want to drag my balls ten miles through broken glass just to get her to poop in my mouth, does that mean I have a strong case of oneitis?
IIlllIllIIIllIl 8y ago
Come back with the field report, at the very least.
[deleted] 8y ago
What if you love a girl and she has imperfections that you accept and you have imperfections that she accepts? What if both the people actually love each other?
PM_ME_UR_BDSM_PICS_ 8y ago
That's the dream.
Only issue is this subreddit has hundreds of stories of that dream destroying men and their families because the execution falters.
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
Knowing a someone and accepting who they are as a person is a lot different than idolizing someone and worshiping a self made image of someone you don't know.
ipretendiamacat 8y ago
"I don't want to be part of any club that will have me as a member" - Groucho Marx
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MentORPHEUS Senior Endorsed 8y ago
Interesting... a case of post hoc sour grapes!
Having an internalized abundance mentality from spinning multiple plates really helps de-pedestalize women and put them in proper perspective with one's overall life mission. You have to be doing it right though; if you try to treat them all as top-level girlfriends, maintaining your harem becomes a fulltime endeavor, literally speeding from woman to woman at times.
Thanks for a refreshingly great FR, OP!
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[deleted] 8y ago
When I catch myself seeking validation from others, I like to imagine what it would feel like to get that validation from them. Then I think, how would that change my life at all. The answer is that it wouldn't and I feel freed from having to get that validation.
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
This is great, I will start using this regularly. Thank you.
saulisdating 8y ago
This often happens with most fantasies. They're the best thing ever when you're not there yet, but once you achieve them and look at them again with fresh eyes - they often seem pretty mediocre and you don't really understand what made you behave that way in the first place.
The human condition, I guess. You want something you don't have, and then lose interest once you got it. So focus more on the journey, not the goal, I guess.
[deleted] 8y ago
I dated my ONEinitis for about a year and she was arguably a 10. When we were out and about random strangers would come up to us and tell me she was one of the most beautiful women they've ever seen. She also was raised in a conservative house so she was feminine. But even still, I was more miserable with her than at any point of my life. That was due to my belief that she was perfect and I'm great for snagging her then realizing she wasn't all that special and she didn't make me happy. This eventually led to our breakup. Putting a 10 on a pedestal and watch it all blow up is a great way to get Red Pilled.
I learned a valuable lesson: never make women your only goal and life. They should always be a compliment to your life. Make them compete for your attention against your own ambitions.
JackGetsIt 8y ago
Well said. I like this phrasing.
[deleted] 8y ago
I know the feeling and for me it stemmed from my insecurities. My thought was "If im banging this hot chick then there's no question I am a cooool duuude" so my self worth was based on putting my dick in a wet hole.
It's intimidating getting into the relationship, difficult playing the game and tolerating her shit to get her committed, then once I'm in, my whole life becomes so stressed around maintaining it that my personal interests become a back burner. And sex is never as good during the act as it seems before or after. Then when she leaves, cheats, or something bad happens to end it, there's a stressful breakup that leaves me broken. All because I needed the validation outside of myself.
Im at a point now where I'm so driven towards my goals that I'll mess around with a girl from time to time but once she acts up and starts causing stress in my life, I'm like Jerry Seinfeld when he walks in his apartment, takes off his belt, and throws it in the trash because it brushed up against the side of the urinal in a public restroom... that's the end of that.
dragonofthesouth1 8y ago
This hit home dude. Just smashed a longtime dream girl, a 10. Was fun... and thats about it. Sex wasn't actually nearly as good as the 7 that is my main plate. Still, it was fun. But after I was astounded at how little it did to make me feel good. It's really only when I am crushing my dreams, writing my book, rocking it at work, etc. that gives that true feeling of fulfillment. As I apply TRP game advice more and moreso it becomes clearer that women are the side dish, an important one, but the main course is my kingdom.
TheVagWhisperer 8y ago
Wow, radical conclusion here - looks aren't everything. Glad you solved that mystery.
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The_BitterTruth 8y ago
Well you figured out the two extremes on the spectrum. Now if you can just see the variations.
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willybuttbum 8y ago
Been here a while and that's literally all I see. People here think they live in reality but they just don't, you can't seem to accepted that all women (like men) are just flawed.
skinnysandvs 8y ago
Can we please stop upvoting these circlejerk humblebrag posts
Cool you fucked your oneitus and realized that there's nothing special about her. This is basic sidebar knowledge
thetotalpackage7 8y ago
"Oneitis" chicks don't even have to be that good looking. Many a chump will pedastalize a 6 simply because she paid the slightest bit of attention to them and now feel like this "one" is their only chance to get their dick wet.
gods_bones 8y ago
Are you serious right now? I came in here thinking this was a story about how she used and abused your love and trust, and instead it's a story about how as soon as you fucked her, you gained a superiority complex. She had a nervous tick she can't control, oh my God how disgusting, how could I stick my dick in that? Give me a break. As far as I can see, you're the asshole here and she is way too superior for you.
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
Yes I'm an asshole, but so are you so we're even.
Now that we're over that, I didn't say I was going to kick her to the curb. I said that I had unrealistic, unhealthy expectations of her, and that I am working towards (and now have) a more realistic image of her.
gods_bones 8y ago
Honey at least I'm an asshole to people who deserve to be called out on their shit. What's your excuse?
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
I don't need an excuse. I'm an asshole because I want to be.
gods_bones 8y ago
Yeah, that's what I figured. Thanks for proving me right.
[deleted] 8y ago
All I want to say is don't get caught up in revenge fantasies,
Guys will go on and on and on over one girl, go bang other people, that one girls isn't yours you don't own her, and frankly why would you want to keep used goods
Never get married, be free, save your money, invest in things that you find enjoyable, pussy is only so good find fulfilment in other things, if you want a son pay a surrogate
blackberryx 8y ago
Can confirm i fucked my Oneitis and the sex wasn't worth it.
iceman202 8y ago
wow I'm in a very similar situation. I crush it and spin plates like a champ. Recently Ive met my oneitis, she is my definition of an angel. Absolutely gorgeous, we're going on our third date tonight. I haven't gotten it in, but she's been in my bed and we've fooled around. I've already noticed some flaws, and i've kept my alpha attitude, but i've been playing this one much different than my standard routine.
grass_cutter 8y ago
Meh, oneitis happens more with younger/ more inexperienced guys. Because everyone has the same epiphany you do (hopefully, I guess if you're a hard case, may take a while).
Yeah there's more to life than fucking a hot chick or measuring your worth by that. Meh.
But many guys are driven by ego.
After a while you look for more than just looks - this is obvious to pretty much anyone who beds a beauty queen who is annoying (or dumb) as fuck.
I'd rather be dating a cool chick who makes my dick hard then some perfect 10 who is pretty damn annoying the minute I bust a nut.
blackberryx 8y ago
" this is obvious to pretty much anyone who beds a beauty queen who is annoying (or dumb) as fuck."
wow dude that's so true. Met this gorgeous girl when i was 19 but she was dumb as fuck, she asked me once after she hard me talk to my mom on the phone in Spanish if and i shit you not "does that mean you can talk to animals"
still banged her for a few more weeks but after that i realized 9/10s are not worth the effort
segagaga 8y ago
If you were spinning plates, she was by definition not your One and you didn't have Oneitis.
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
by your definition of my one
Wolffy93 8y ago
I know for a fact I am struggling quite a lot with wanting the experience of sex as well as the validation; even with successful men in my life all around me telling me to focus on myself and career and the women will eventually come.
Feel almost ashamed - a large motivating factor for me relentlessly pursuing my music career, gym / lifting / maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and hobby of magic is to eventually get laid. I read through the side bar every morning with breakfast and night before going to sleep as well as Rollo's blog for about an hour each.
Don't know if that is exactly a healthy motivation, but it is kicking my ass into gear. One day will reach a point where pussy is in such abundance that it is just a fleeting thought instead of a very big consuming thought.
DokDaka 8y ago
doing this for more than a week or two is really excessive. Spend more time reflecting and doing and less reading about RP theory. Seriously focus on yourself more. Keep doing magic if YOU really enjoy but honestly it is more of a negative than anything if you already are a healthy musician who lifts.
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grabbinbuttz 8y ago
Great post. Pretty much had the same experience last week but my mind went in the opposite direction and inflated my ONEitis. This post really helped me re-center my perspective.
aazav 8y ago
How she looks and how she fucks are two different things.
Gator196 8y ago
Lmao some Comic says it best, every time you fuck a girl they're just a little less attractive. That's why married guys die sooner, cause they want too
iliketreeslikereally 8y ago
I, for one, try to encourage idolizing and greater emotions because it makes me happier in the end. And when it doesn't work out, it's not hard to become cynical and realistic again.
Ride the high.
Darthstacker 8y ago
I'm shocked she had sex with you. When most woman find a guy that idolizes them they go into full dick tease mode because they like the ego boost. Your "10" will learn this after her experience with you that your value to her ego is higher than just a lay. Actually you probably hurt her ego because you weren't nearly as interested in her afterwards. Thanks for ruining another "10" for the rest of us LOL.
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
I tried my best to never let it out that I idolized her. I very rarely gave her compliments. When I wasn't fucking her I was still getting laid a lot so I don't think I came off as needy at all.
[deleted] 8y ago
Ahhh, the post-nut clarity, it's quite possibly the only reason the human race still exists. Great post man
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it
Chemlab187 8y ago
A couple of commentors and the OP have touched on the idea that ONEitis starts with sex hormones.
Shouldn't we instead look for plates that fulfill our lives in areas outside of sex?
Plenty of women are smart, ambitious, and can provide us higher standard of living outside of sex.
If they're not adding value then next.
scramtek 8y ago
Got it. If I develop oneitis, fuck her until I realise/remember that AWALT.
CreamiestCream 8y ago
Highschooler Timmy learns that people are flawed. His next inspiring article will tackle the P versus NP problem, but only if mummy lets him stay up late.
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
Yea, how should I ask her to let me stay up late?
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Nergaal 8y ago
This is a really good lesson: every single one of us that is past the infatuation can probably recall a defect of that perfect one which at that time you didn't even notice.
At the end I remember seeing the asymmetrical nose; it was right there, in the middle of her face and I never noticed it.
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empatheticapathetic 8y ago
Reading this thread has really chilled me out honestly. Ive saved it as its a good thing to read if you ever get too fixated on someone.
HAMMURABl 8y ago
Thanks for writing this - it is exactly what i feel whenever i just start to get naked with a chick i tried to bang all night. The moment we are in bed and i know we will fuck, the moment she watches me with lust in her eyes - that very moment is the moment i stop idolizing her, because i got what i wanted. I guess we have to be honest here and say that this is no different than the chick wanting an aloof man to love her, only to ultimately feel disappointed when this very man then expresses his love (before her saying it)
DokDaka 8y ago
this is why girls used to be told not to give away the milk for free. For many, the girl falls off the pedestal once they've copulated. This could be due to either the Madonna/Whore dichotomy or just general idolization/disillusionment - like what we see here.
StoicCrane 8y ago
Amazing take away OP. This is what some users her tend to forget. Women are by no means the goal but complimentary add-ons that emerge in our lives when we're on our purpose and actively developing ourselves.
victor_knight 8y ago
No condom? Not very smart. Expect no sympathy from the medical establishment or the state if the shit hits the fan.
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
After I dumped my load inside her (inside a condom) - there you go
Luckyluke23 8y ago
you make a valid point, but NO girl is a oneitis after 3 dates bro. try 5 years!
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
No thanks that sounds soul crushing
Luckyluke23 8y ago
since going through it, I have become a better person i tell you that
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
I'm glad you came out on top
Luckyluke23 8y ago
thanks man... anyone can do it. it just takes time, patience and a whole lot of rejections.
Project_Thor 8y ago
"Well there's one thing I know. Bitches they come and go." - Eminem. Learned this shit when I was in Grade 5. Step yo game up kids.
atifhere 8y ago
Men are evolved to fuck and dump. No matter how much a girl is hot, you will get the feeling to move to the next one, even if the next one is less hot. This is to ensure greater chance of spreading the genes.
ChrisBenRoy 8y ago
then
Has me incredibly confused.
StillHigh09 8y ago
I consider this a problem. Whenever I meet a girl and find something that makes me interested in her (might be even one thing like great ass or tits) I instantly start idolizing her. I wont rest untill i get her. And when I finally fuck that girl - I lose whole interest and start noticing shes not that perfect at all.
sepelion 8y ago
You won't get around the modern reality that all women are used: the era of chaste virgins saving it for you to have something no other man had is gone. Women in the modern West are used before they're legal.
ONEitis is a nice feeling, because it helps us believe we're not just some rooster in the Coolidge Effect experiment; it helps us believe that there might be an end to all of the anarchy, loneliness, and pointless "sampling of some other guy's seconds" that is modern secular Western dating.
Me personally, I go past it all, and for me it's either a high-quality girlfriend, or just jerking off once in a while. I have better things to do with my time than look at, smell, and poke around some pussy that's been passed around a dozen dudes, but due to the current social order has an exponentially inflated market value. Seeing guys fawn over used women reminds me of all of the men stuck in the "the next video game will be better, the last one failed" loop, when in reality, it was always just designed to get your resources of time and money in exchange for a few dopamine hits which would inevitably meet with diminishing returns.
MontmorencyWHAT 8y ago
I used to date an almost physically perfect model. I slowly fell out of liking her because despite having studied literature, she couldn't name a book she'd read recently. She was up on celebrity gossip.
Got to the point where I was embarrassed to be associated with her in any company which featured people who think. Authors, intellectuals, scientists. Because it reflected poorly on me and became irritating. It was a symbol of settling, of being complacent for the sake of getting laid.
Ditched her without any fireworks. "This isn't working out" I said. A good decision.
falecf4 8y ago
Great post! It helps me reflect back on when I had one-itis and couldn't get over it, when I fucked my one and another time when I probably would have gotten one-itis if I hadn't pulled her at my house party from the dbag that brought her.
TheJohnDough 8y ago
But see, fucking her did make you better. It made you realize oneitis isn't worth. Now people who also have oneitis can take your word for it.
GunsGermsAndSteel 8y ago
The Red Pill teaches that we should do what makes us better, do what makes us happy, regardless of what a woman thinks about it- and that if we are really on top of our game she WILL like it and will be drawn into our "frame".
There have been times where my efforts toward self-improvement have alienated a woman because she could not yet see the results of my work. I let those women go. I don't need to seek the approval of others when I know I'm on the right path.
Since becoming familiar with Red Pill concepts I've started a business, gained full custody of my kid by lawyering up and taking control, lost a shitload of fat, and gained at least 20 pounds of muscle by developing the discipline to take my ass into the gym four times a week and follow a challenging program.
The woman I was with at the beginning of this said that she hated it when I dieted and went to the gym. Looking back, I can see why: that lack of discipline made me easier to control and, since almost all women lack even the basics of self-discipline, made me easier to understand as well.
I didn't embrace these concepts solely to get laid. I wanted to be a better person overall. That women find it attractive is, to me, only a minor motivation at best. I am creating the best version of myself through MY eyes, not anyone else's.
The_rectumwrecker 8y ago
Fuck I want this. I have been improving myself but the base motivation is to get more pussy. It has been driving me and pushing me. I'm looking for more purpose because it doesn't matter how much I get laid it doesn't fill the hole.
MontmorencyWHAT 8y ago
Good on you bud. Keep going.
[deleted] 8y ago
The most dangerous women are the ones who work to keep you around and offer more than just a hole. The ultimate Oneitis is the girl who treats you well and tempts you to get comfortable.
Get 80% comfortable in the relationship. Never get fully content, no matter how well you are fucked, how well you are treated, how much the perfect woman throws herself at you. Always strive to make yourself better. The second you allow yourself full contentment with your status or your place in life, you will lose interest, she will lose interest, and you'll end up continuing your mission regardless.
The lesson? Don't take breaks on your mission, no matter how Unicorn-like the girl is.
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[deleted] 8y ago
So when you've banged everyone out there worthy banging and there's no way to raise the bar...
...what's next?
bigdickdaddyo 8y ago
There's a fresh batch of 18-year olds every day, my friend.
HumanSockPuppet 8y ago
Sex is only the beginning.
You might be surprised where your ambition drives you when you've gotten the lizard in your brain to shut up.
Auvergnat 8y ago
This. Getting your dick wet regularly (and if possible with a diversity of women) clears your head from that strong & constant need for sex and value-validation it comes with. With that out of the way, you can finally focus deeply on your Mission.
Cant_Tell_Me_Nothin 8y ago
You can also make a case for the fact that that same sexual urge and seeking of sexual validation has probably been one of the biggest motivators for men to do great things throughout history.
yaysmr 8y ago
Not even a joke. Biological imperative to reproduce is a strong drive. And unlike, say, eating, it isn't really sated. A man is driven to spread his seed as far and wide as he can achieve.
Not too much of a coincidence that some of the most powerful/successful men in HISTORY have also been the most insatiably horny. They fight and win and conquer and build and destroy to maximize the number of women they can impregnate, that their progeny may never pass from the earth.
Guy builds a skyscraper in part to secure his own wealth and legacy, but largely to increase the quantity and quality of his mates.
With few exception, ever major achievement a man makes was carried out with the idea "man, this is going to get me so much pussy" echoing in the back of his mind.
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The_rectumwrecker 8y ago
Water to a thirsty man is priceless, water to the drowning man is worthless.
EhrmantrautWetWork 8y ago
fulfill all basic needs. when youve eaten, the last thing you want is food. when youre hungry, its all you want.
Physio_Tool 8y ago
You gotta go get those sexual needs filled and get that spicy validation for you to realise its a fruitless endeavor. I had my moment. Just flew over to the UK for 2 years of school as a post grad. Was now buff from working out and only had 5 lays before so looking to get balls deep in girls. My first year laid 18 chicks. 12 withing 15 weeks going out like twice a week. Got a same day lay in a clothing store (I was just really lucky, met horny 18 yr old). And after that year fortunately I was able to see how empty it all was. I havent been laid in 6 months but I have no doubts in myself anymore, do not crave the validation and am just focused on my career. That is how you get the lizard brain to shut up. Unfortunately, Some people need to go years and get hundreds of lays in an attempt to keep filling a void and then they get depressed until they realise it.
HumanSockPuppet 8y ago
When you've just had lunch, food is the farthest thing from your mind.
When you get good at scoring lays, and access to sex becomes easier, you will find that your priorities shift. You become capable of dedicating your time and effort to other, "higher order" pursuits.
Google Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs for further reading.
empatheticapathetic 8y ago
Would this need ever be filled by lays with just one girl? Or does it need to be the abundance of many girls. Late 20s virgin speaking.
HumanSockPuppet 8y ago
It can be any female or collection of females.
But for your sake, make it an abundance. You don't want to depend upon just one to fulfill your needs, because all it takes is for her to leave and you're back to square one.
Vladz0r 8y ago
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/60/Maslow's_Hierarchy_of_Needs.svg or http://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow-pyramid.jpg
There's a self-actualization principle from Abraham Maslow. Basically, you fill the bottom of the pyramid first (most people do it this way, anyway) and as you satisfy your needs, you look onward towards bigger and better things, because you realize that more of the same tier of the pyramid won't give any deeper fulfillment. You move towards being a creator, and seek higher consciousness values.
[deleted] 8y ago
You can go straight to monk mode and bypass sex or hedonism altogether. It is wayyy harder but more fulfilling.
Vladz0r 8y ago
Yeah. It's an inevitable process of self-actualization, but experiencing abundance is something I'm aiming for first, before going monk mode. There's something even more satisfying about giving up sex at the point where you can actually get it easily, rather than giving it up before reaching abundance. I've considered going MGTOW and trying to bypass steps of the pyramid, if I'm not doing it with the intention of still upping my SMV and game, it doesn't seem like real self-development.
If you craft a great life purpose and pursue self-actualization alongside it, though, you wind up filling in the pyramid in reverse order, so top to bottom. With a strong life purpose, you wind up making your money and being so grounded that relationships come easy, and you'll likely need a ton of discipline and self-actualization to accomplish it. You'll need a creative mindset and mastery over a domain. Most people wind up going bottom-up, though, and maybe pursue a creative hobby in their spare time after work to fulfill a small-scale life purpose.Most people just never go past the first 3 or 4 steps of the pyramid, though, in the West.
[deleted] 8y ago
Yeah, I hear you. I applaud your realism and open-mindedness. I think going through each step in Maslow's hierarchy is prudent, especially for those raised in the west, because we are so far removed from some of the ideals as promoted in eastern culture. One person I greatly admire is the Dalai Lama, but I feel we need more people in the West who serve as intermediaries to such consummate moral arbiters. His upbringing and lifestyle is so far removed from mine that I feel it is very difficult to attain his level of happiness unless I go the tried and true route of Maslow's hierarchy.
However, I think one of the great dangers in pursuing status and wealth is that attachment arises such that one cannot advance past such ideals to such an extent that one is susceptible to regressing morally and ethically.
That being said, though many people find it fitting to decry the pursuit wealth as being evil and such, I think being devoid of financial security is also evil but in a different way. Better to risk becoming a complete asshole while attaining financial freedom than being a wet blanket that drags everyone down around him.
Vladz0r 8y ago
Honestly though, I don't have that many attachments, and haven't attained much real success yet. I've only recently been starting to grip onto a real purpose in life. A lot of these Enlightened men never discovered a grand life purpose that aligned with their values, or made a lot of money to raise a family and make their parents proud, or pursued status, experience, physical training to get with quality women, or created something profound to actually change the world... I feel like I'd be running away from my debt if I did it, but I'd enjoy living in a state of peace as a monk in Tibet or something. Through meditation, I can be just as happy staring at a tree or some fire as I am jerking off or eating my favorite foods. I mean, everything I'm chasing after in life is pretty much a farce in some form already, an inflated illusion of the mind that says "Once you get X, you will be happy."
It seems too easy to want to just go monk mode before you accomplish anything. As you said, once you develop the attachments to the pursuit of wealth, it'll become much harder. Another huge thing with the hierarchy, is that most people basically get too comfy after the first 3-4 steps and never go beyond this, and go their life unfulfilled. They never pick up that instrument they wanted to play, or write that book, because by the time they realize that talent wasn't necessary, the resistance has become too strong for them to have any passion in their lives.
But man, to become a monk after becoming a successful creator. You have to invest so much into your ego, something you build up to become hugely successful in all aspects of your life, through all your habits and way of viewing the world, and then give it all up from a position of success, for a greater vision of becoming enlightened. A monk who was previously successful, though, would be an incredible role model and true testament to Maslow's hierarchy. Actualized.org's Leo Gura has this as a goal, and despite being someone who's passionate about the theory and Enlightenment concepts, he hasn't gone full monk mode. He's trying to reconcile heavy spiritual sage-like practice with the western world, calling men with husbands and careers to be more sage-like. Maybe a "middle way" is the key, rather than complete renunciation.
It would take a ton of meditation and mental reinforcement for me to reach the point where I wouldn't regret squandering my creative potential, and most successful people would probably feel like they'd be wasting their gifts by becoming a monk.
On the upside right now for me, what's keeping me from going full on monk is the hope that through filling in the bottom tiers of Maslow's hierarchy, and clearing my debt with some job I'm not crazy about, I'd start to develop a lot more passion and drive to work on relationships and creativity. I started dreaming big for the first time in years after going through this Life Purpose Course, and realized that I have some amazing potential, but I'm not really aligned with my strengths and interests and just went into college for the money like most people do. I basically thought all my life that I was destined to some $30-40k job at best, to marry the first tolerable girl that would like me, to stick to the same hobbies and make no real-life friends, and to just get by in life while putting as minimal effort as possible into anything, continuing to feel victimized and resentful of anyone who's more successful, happy, or passionate than me. I'm working on myself for the long-term now, though.
Wound up writing a lot, but it's interesting since this stuff isn't mentioned toooo much here.
lurkingtacopiller 8y ago
The golden question. Build something, make a ton of money, start fucking dudes, whatever you want.
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
LOL'd at start fucking dudes
Millixaw 8y ago
Some of those asses, though...
Ptoss 8y ago
Remember, it aint gay if you're the one thrusting. RIGHT? I'm the dominant one!
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The_BitterTruth 8y ago
Honestly I think that's a question that you can only answer for yourself. I think women should be separate of your mission. They should only add to your life - not be the center of it.
The_rectumwrecker 8y ago
I think I'm about to get there. I went through a big breakup in February and have been using hookups to feel better. I also lost my Dad this year and my mom is fighting cancer at the same time. I thought if I found a good relationship I would feel better. But I've dated a bunch this year and found that it didn't matter how much I inflated my ego with hookups, I still came crashing back down to where I was before the night began. I'm starting to realize again that my own happiness is my responsibility, not someone else's.
[deleted] 8y ago
That's the answer I was hoping to hear, actually. It's nice to see every now and then that there are some poeple here who see beyond sex.
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
Sex is fun and enjoyable. Most men are completely miserable without sex, but I can promise that there is more to life then sex. Relentlessly pursuing sex left me feeling empty and alone. There's bigger and better things out there than getting laid.
andres7832 8y ago
It is weird once that realization hits. So many resources spent on procuring sex, when sex is relatively cheap and abundant. So much time putting sex as the end game, getting validation from the women we sleep with, spending time both in time and money to get it.
Your life has a finite ticking clock that can expire at any time. Self improvement gets talked a lot, but I wish there was more about that than dealing with females.
[deleted] 8y ago
Any advice to a 19 y/o college student who's struggling with oneitis/abundance mentality/lack of sex life? My ltr of two years from senior year to college ended last year and I'm trying to adopt rp approaches to women/sex in general. Next semester I'm going to rush a fraternity at my school which will hopefully help with me learning and practicing game and focusing on bonding with male friends. Any tips to someone in the shitty side of the smp?
dCLIFFb 8y ago
Keep internalizing the sidebar, put yourself in situations to practice game, lift, lift some more, then lift again. Rinse and repeat.
Put yourself in situations where you don't feel comfortable. Make a fool of yourself in front of others. If you're not sure how you're supposed to act in certain situations, keep your mouth shut and observe people around you.
Most of all just keep learning and keep pushing yourself.
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
Do what you can to improve your looks, they're important to younger girls. Even if you don't have the best face, you can look pretty good with a nice body and good clothes. Looks are important but they won't get you everywhere. You'll have to go out and meet a lot of people - your game will get better through trial and error. Good luck.
p3n1x 8y ago
Stop being a desperate goofball.
You cannot negotiate "desire". If the chicks don't desire you, fix what you are missing.
I know people are giving you "dad" advice while you have 19 year old raging hormones surrounded by smoking hot college pussy.
[deleted] 8y ago
That's a good point, thanks lad
Hamilton950B 8y ago
I'm probably going to sound like your dad here, but maintain some balance. Chase pussy for sure but remember what college is for and what it costs. There will always be girls.
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[deleted] 8y ago
It's funny you say that, because my dad wasn't really involved in my life, so this whole becoming a man thing has been sorta on my own. That's part of the reason why I'm so grateful for this sub. I totally hear you on working hard in school, I'm about 1/3 the way through college and I'm getting great grades for grad school and I have clear ideas of where I'd like to see myself get to.
no_face 8y ago
I got some pussy in college. I got 10x more after college when I had a solid career.
If you get it in college, take it simply because college is "pussy on sale". If you can't, don't worry too much. Maintain your health and looks and make sure you have a solid career and you are set for life (at least till you hit 50)
Just wanted to add, my biggest mistake was regular drinking in college. That shit ages your body. Friend of mine died at 45 due to alcoholism. It all starts with drinking to excess in frat parties. Limit yourself to one drink per party or none if you are on a regular exercise schedule.
[deleted] 8y ago
Thanks for the advice. I totally hear you on the alcohol aspect, lots of my buddies have flown off the handle due to it. I'm not much of a drinker beyond what's socially acceptable/buzzed (2-3 beers usually). I'm really mostly doing it for the social benefits that come from expanding a social circle with male friends (happiness, confidence, access to pussy, etc.)
[deleted] 8y ago
Lol one drink. Dude on my big brother night on a Tuesday while I was pledging I finished a bottle of goldschlager.
Prepare to get wasted.
[deleted] 8y ago
Joining a frat and doing what some random people tell you to do is pretty beta
kaspell 8y ago
nah, you have to think strategically. Frats can be a great asset once you're in the workplace. I thought like you when i went through school the first time, but older me realizes how advantageous it wouldhave been to have the tool/support or whatever you want to call it if I could have swallowed my pride and used it for what it is.
If you can stomach being in a frat, and like some of the people in it, I say do it and reap the benefits.
[deleted] 8y ago
It's pretty beta to want to bend to others will in hopes they might help you get a job because daddy was a corporate slave. Lol. There's many ways to success and joining a frat is not necessary for that
kaspell 8y ago
You're right, it's not necessary, but it sure can make things a lot easier. Things being easier Frees up time and energy, and that is priceless. I know I've wasted a lot of both through my own pride and or stubbornness over the years.
MacNulty 8y ago
You give yourself permission to love yourself unconditionally, the ability of which you used to have as a kid, but were conditioned out of it by society. Then you realize that life is much more meaningful and fulfilling when you approach it from the perspective of adding value, than by filling a bottomless pit with countless meaningless targets.
“It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.”
iliketreeslikereally 8y ago
Start looking for 10/10 looks combined with 10/10 personality/intelligence. It'll never happen so it'll keep you busy for life.
In all seriousness, you simply start prioritizing interesting girls over hot ones (sure, why not both). There are many interesting conversations to be had and much fulfillment to be found from just talking to people and experiencing life and its beauty together. Sex is only the beginning, and you need it less and less over time. A deeper sense of fulfillment lays beyond.
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RUALUM15 8y ago
Women are a short term validation tool. It may be about being successful with them in the short term to be able to have the sexual release that men need, but long term it's always about achieving success and self-actualization as a man. You should always strive for this greater goal, but what is that goal? That's for you to decide what your most important priorities are.
Hakametal 8y ago
Right there, your statement implies that the measure of a man's worth is by banging the hottest girl.
Until a man is able to look inward and cultivate self-respect and self-love... you will always be seeking external validation, either from women or other sources.
[deleted] 8y ago
I just like asking people questions.
[deleted] 8y ago
I mean if it isn't just sex that's needed, then is there something wrong with wanting to find someone you connect with on an intimate level? Wouldn't that be fulfilling? Or would this sub consider that to be a beta cuck move that would cause her to have the biological need to cheat on you?
xRedStaRx 8y ago
Cut the crap, if you're not getting laid, then you're coping.
Hakametal 8y ago
Not what I said. If you place your self validation on external sources, you are not going to be happy. It's a fundamental Red Pill teaching.
xRedStaRx 8y ago
You will be happy if you're getting it.
Telling yourself that I don't need to fuck hot girls to be happy is a cope. Being able to do it, makes you happy.
Hence why I said, cut the crap. It's good not to ruminate over what you cannot have, but it's bs to say that you're indifferent, either.
endogenic 8y ago
What's next is
(a) learning what is in reality to become able to contribute to others and human society (e.g. by teaching), and
(b) gaining your unique abilities to diagnose problems and to save the lives of those whose own selves are in danger.
You have to "hit the road" searching for those who have kept themselves truthful enough to understand the truth (the one in a million), in order to switch from performing only affection (a lesser duty) to performing love (a greater duty).
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PissedPajamas 8y ago
TRP extends past the bedroom. It's done more for my friendships and self respect than anything else could
reigorius 8y ago
Most redditors come here for thing only, and that's is more pussy. Care to enlighten those pussy hunters in what way TRP was beneficial to friendship and self-respect?
LaRedPill 8y ago
Family, with a 7/8 raised by a protective father, that believes in being feminine, that is a professional in a carrer that is people oriented but can work by herself (Md, teacher).
Si_guey 8y ago
Find someone who worships you and submits fully?
cubicpolynomial3 8y ago
AWALT, brother. Unicorns don't exist.
C_Consciousness 8y ago
Haha, guess you gotta go back and go through the loop again.
[deleted] 8y ago
Slash your face with a razor blade, dip it in acid, gain 200lbs of lard, start doing only beta shit for next 2 years and then rise up to alpha mindstate and get banging 10s again.
New Game+ on Hard Mode
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Your_Coke_Dealer 8y ago
Impossible. This is part of abundance mentality; there's plenty more women worth banging, they're just not in your immediate vicinity.
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IronicTransUsername 8y ago
Maybe there are more valuable experiences than sex, you get to define what's valuable and the end goals for your life. Go out there and figure it out for yourself.
Rocky_Bukkake 8y ago
this is literally idealization and devaluation, if this keeps happening to you, check up symptoms of narcissism
MurphyBronson 8y ago
I find Oneitis fascinating. Every guy has to experience it to truly understand it. We learn from our mistakes. Ive definitely suffered from it before but it feels good knowing now I know how to handle this shit if it ever happens again.
AmazonExplorer 8y ago
Posts like this sometimes makes me wonder wonder if women also need the redpill. Women too, put Chads on a pedestal yet when they finally reach what they couldn't have before, they see all of his imperfections and reject them too for being imperfect. We've all been tricked by the bluepill of false expectations, brainwashed by Hollywood and Disney with a princess in distress and a happily-ever-after.
VigilantRedRooster 8y ago
They do, it's the same relationship praxeology, but implemented toward complementary goals to those of men. Check out redpillwomen.
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sourdieselfuel 8y ago
Isn't it crazy that in the modern western world the bar is set so low that the 2 main requirements for acceptable women are being in shape and not being a cunt? Still doesn't stop most of them from failing on both.
Pm_me_your__eyes_ 8y ago
Well, to be fair it's 3.
Be good looking. Be in shape. Don't be a cunt.
sanzensekai 8y ago
Great post - clear, sober, and concise. I thoroughly appreciated your take on the subject matter and how you conveyed what you learned. ????????????
ex_addict_bro 8y ago
Idolizing a girl is not as much about her as it is about you.
Is your life in order? Are you slaying it? Are you on the top of your game?
If not, you have bigger problems than getting "the one".
[deleted] 8y ago
This is a phenomenal post and sums up a few of my experiences. Think what you want, guys. After the nut, it's all the same. You're no better a man and she's now irreparably, undeniably flawed.
TRP is not about sex or women, although they often are attached to it. Taking the pill is about self improvement and that isn't achieved through sex, sex is a byproduct.
g4casting 8y ago
Seems accurate. Reminds me of the first time you have sex. You have been fantasizing over it for years and you make it out to be this life changing experience. Then you fuck for the first time and you realize you're still the same and it's not a big deal.
Stythe 8y ago
Women are just a challenge to be overcome, like anything else. The more you fuck, the more it becomes just a normal part of life. Then it's on to the next thing, having gained the skills to fuck.
That's just how guys are. TRP is focused so much in women, but the mental dynamic behind them and the power they have over you is the same as anything you haven't beaten yet.
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The_BitterTruth 8y ago
Lol'd at your writing style. Interesting. It wasn't as much about novelty as it was my ego.
spinalmemes 8y ago
You shouldnt need to get balls deep in a chick to figure this out. Might be too late if you wait for that to happen before OPs point sinks in
rorrr 8y ago
Chances are, she is not a 10. 10s are extremely rare, and the odds of you fucking one are even smaller. I've never even seen a 10 live, only on TV/internet.
Brendan056 8y ago
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
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The_BitterTruth 8y ago
Why should you fuck a girl if you're not attracted to her? Only because your friends think she's hot? That's using sex for validation - and in my case it never got me anywhere.
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macandcheesehole 8y ago
I know what you mean. Even though I knew I was just checking a box, it felt great to check that box. It gives you a new confidence, one that you cannot fake. Once you have been there with a 9, flirting with an 8 gets REALLY easy.
thefilthytwo 8y ago
Very bitter. Like all posters in this sub.
MontmorencyWHAT 8y ago
Not really. People need a place to vent and share without being judged. Stop tone policing...
Ascended_One 8y ago
Good post, thank you.
Why did you end with the word "bitter" though?
nonthaki 8y ago
Cause The RED PILL is fu*king Bitter to swallow , my friend .
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
Also why I chose this username
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SetConsumes 8y ago
You say that like it means anything. Women have no convictions, so then who they are as a person is mostly what they happen to feel now and what behaviors their past conditioned them to act out.
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
I'm not really talking about convictions. Some girls act fun, some act annoying, some act sexy, some act boring. Etc..
DokDaka 8y ago
honestly this applies to most men as well
SetConsumes 8y ago
Most men have convictions about things they care about, even if it's their favorites sports team. Convictions come from strong confident logical positions, which women rarely hold(and why should they, it limits their flexibility).
jocomoco 8y ago
This is exactly what women need to feel. The question is how can we make them feel it ?
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
Don't give them attention like their beta orbiters do
jocomoco 8y ago
Yeah, that does work indeed.
brinkcitykilla 8y ago
This - truly realizing this can take some a lifetime.
mill58 8y ago
Nothing special.. but you enjoyed that 10... that is the point, you already got what you wanted... it was not up to your expectations but you did it! you fucked that perfect 10. All the other orbiters in that cellphone want to be you, someday...
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
Yea that's true, but that's coming from a place of validation seeking. What kind of man am I if I let my self worth be determined by the woman I'm fucking?
mill58 8y ago
But after the experience you now understand that is just another girl and that is the important part.
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HS-Thompson 8y ago
A normal man.
It's fucking great, don't sell yourself so short. I fucked a bunch of straight 10's, model and actress types, back when I was on a bit of a rampage. I look back on it and smile about it all the time, sometimes one will text me and their litttle avatar face will remind me of some cinematic evening. The older I get the more glad I am that I have those memories.
Don't be so hard on yourself, it's great to check things like that off your list and a little feeling of validation is good assuming you don't let it negatively affect your life and motivations. I think fucking straight up gorgeous women and having way too much money are things every TRP man should try to experience at one point in their life.
Once you've done it, you can move on, but there's no harm in being a little proud of yourself for accomplishing something most men care a lot about.
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
Yes I agree there isn't anything wrong with being proud with yourself. I'm trying to balance things so my ego isn't riding on the line every time I fuck a women (or don't). I'm getting better at this, and things are becoming more enjoyable the more I remove my ego from my actions and choices.
[deleted] 8y ago
This is a very sobering thought that you've shed light on here. I have been in similar situations where before sex I was thinking things like "omg is this really happening?" And afterwards it was certainly good but I had this feeling like that's all?
In my mind I had invisoned her as flawless as you said and that the pussy was heavenly! But afterwards the best way I can describe it is disappointing. Not because the sex was bad but bc in my mind I had impossibly high unrealistic expectations.
Ericgzg 8y ago
I believe everything you said and I think most will agree with you that sex with a perfect 10 isn't what life should be about, but I think what most men want is to reach the point of clarity you are at, to finally get that thing they've always wanted and in doing so finally be able to move on, to say I did it and I'm over it and I am moving on to bigger and better things. Without ever having fucked your oneitis that nagging voice that likes to say "you aren't good enough" is just a little louder than it should be.
JackGetsIt 8y ago
So how do you defeat oneitis before banging? Or do I just have to go out and bang every girl I get oneitis for?
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JackGetsIt 8y ago
This is me in a nutshell as well. I've basically sworn off LTR's for the foreseeable future.
The_BitterTruth 8y ago
I didn't. I can't answer that question for you, but I think it's important to realize the girl you want is a product of your imagination and desires. Knowing that she isn't all you're making her out to be is a huge step in the right direction.
JackGetsIt 8y ago
Agreed. I have experience, and currently spin 2-3 plates and I have read redpill for years but girls still come along that hit all the buttons and make me go off into 'maybe she's different' land. There's also girls with certain 'looks' that I'm more programmed towards and it's difficult to game them when that anxiety you mentioned in your post starts to build. I've gotten way better at this through the years but it's still there. It's like alcoholism. Everyday is a new fight; everyday you have to make a conscious choice not to drink/fall for girl game.
Another problem I have is that women that are into me will find all the things I like and like liquid metal terminator morph into what I want and I can't tell where the real girl is and the show she's putting on for me begins. Pain in the ass. So I go through relationships in this la la land where I say to myself: "she's not put out, She loves hiking! she's not put out she loves beer!" Then after the break up all her girlfriends come up to me and tell me how much she hated hiking and beer.
kellykebab 8y ago
Why care if they're acting? If they do it for you and are happy about it, that's great. Many attractive, normal, feminine women don't really have a multitude of passionate interests anyway. You're supposed to be the leader, not a teammate.
JackGetsIt 8y ago
Agreed, but if a leader gets too out of touch with their followers that's how you build resentment and potential monkey branching.
kellykebab 8y ago
How is the above situation, where the girl doesn't share "genuine" interest in hiking and beer, an example of the leader being out of touch?
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