We are buying real estate, getting married and have our honeymoon to Europe booked, so finances are stretched pretty thin. Things have been a bit tense with this financial strain.
We got to talking and she was saying she needs me to make more money, i make $60k. I am 28 and I will finish my degree in 9 months. I plan on starting my MBA when I finish. I work in IT, but don't really have any IT qualifications until this Degree is finished, just a few certs. She went to private school and got her degree in law and is practicing as a solicitor, our pays basically the same though, hers $63,000.
So when we were talking tonight, I said to her she put's me down to much and I think it is hurting me psychologically, I have lost so much confidence. I don't even feel confident about getting a higher paying job. I said we need more sex and I need a woman who I feel wants me, and she said to me "if you made more money, we would have more sex". I am blown away.
This is the red pill theories in action. Women don't love men like men love women. I love my fiance, but she obviously doesn't love me like i love her.
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mksu 8y ago
She did you a favor, a pretty big one at that. Now it's up to you if you will be smart or dumb.
iamanalterror 8y ago
So OP, still planning on the marriage and honeymoon?
scairdycat 8y ago
You shouldn't feel bad. You have a great salary, especially for your age. You have a good future, but ONLY if you dump this bitch. If you marry this bitchy whore, let her continue to bully you, and continue to not get laid, your life is going to suck.
Kick her out, count your money, go to Europe alone, and go out with some ladies there. If you're going to have a sex-for-money arrangement, the Amsterdam Red Light District would be a big step up from this bitchy whore you've been wasting your time with.
You can't turn a whore into a housewife, and that's what your fiancé is, a total whore, since she's demanding money in exchange for sex.
Dump her and enjoy your good salary and a bright future that doesn't include that bitchy cunt.
ranci 8y ago
Look its your life, but if my wife said that to me it would be over. Instantly over. Who wants to live with and share a life with someone like that?
badpadding 8y ago
Holy hell, I've been off TRP for 2 weeks. I come back and see this thread. Thanks G.od for this subreddit, it's a blessing to have this kind of male-only/no-bullshit space (at least for now).
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Redpass2122 8y ago
A woman can love another woman who can't offer much but looks and a good carpet munch. When it comes to men, they have a list of standards
polakfury 8y ago
Shes a future ex getting alimony from you with that attitude dude. Ditch and Switch,
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Davidkpa 8y ago
RUNN!!!!!! Fucking run and don't look back. All the women I knew in law school are now divorced if they weren't already married, and a lot of the married ones still got divorced. She's all about the money, you are just a passenger.
My bitch stayed with me and supported me financially for two years thinking I was broke (I was pretending, and she laughed about it when I told her about it, and I paid her back in full everything she gave me, plus I got her a couple of handguns she had wanted). That's love, that's commitment, that's ride or die.
Your woman is a ticking time bomb, it also sounds like you are in England where divorce is majorly bad for men. If a bitch talked like this to me. I'd be gone faster than a fart in a category five hurricane.
brother_red 8y ago
skulk2fade,
I read your post, then ALL these replies telling you the same thing, then your posting history.
First: STOP TELLING PEOPLE TO COME TO REDPILL
You have clearly not internalized anything from here, and only pay lip service to a few scattered principals.
Your fiancee has overplayed her hand - in other words, she is already acting like she's 5 years into a marriage, and knows she's got you by the balls. IT WILL NOT GET BETTER! You are very lucky she has displayed this huge red flag now, and not after it was too late. Once you marry her, you will lose whatever balls you have left, and she'll be disgusted by you even more.
You are very young - I know at 28 you think you are old and running out of time. In reality, you are at the beginning of your SMV upswing.
You are scared of being alone, I understand - but it's better to be alone without any entanglements than to be alone after the inevitable divorce raping that is coming your way. When that happens, you will really know what "alone" is.
You seem to think you can improve your SMV better if you remain in this relationship. No. No you cannot. Bitch cuts your balls off with regularity. If you would spend as much time improving your SMV (lift, eat, sleep, approach, cultivate masculine hobbies) as you do posting about, and presumably playing pointless video games and supplicating to this bitch, you'll be swimming in pussy by the time you're 30.
You mentioned in one of your old posts that her parents are trying to get her away from you too? You're doomed. Game over.
If a fiancee is not eagerly jumping your bones at every opportunity, there is a very serious problem which cannot be fixed by a quick overview of TRP and a cafeteria approach to its principals. If she's lost respect for you, it's over. Believe me and the thousands of guys here on that.
If you dump this girl and seriously follow and internalize TRP principals, you will have girls begging to come over and fuck you, cook for you, clean your house for you. It's just ridiculous how correct TRP is at what makes women tick.
When 700+ people are unanimously telling you to bail, your airplane just might be on fire and about to crash.
slcjosh 8y ago
Postpone you marriage, and do not buy property with her. Tell her you will not accept the bullshit. She either shapes up or you move on. Grow a spine.
Leviticus59 8y ago
The O.P. is gonna go ahead and marry her, despite what everyone has said here. I judge this to be an excellent thread however, because of all the truth that was poured out for the lurkers.
TheAloofCat 8y ago
So she openly admitted to being a golddigger. Consider yourself warned.
123Jobber 8y ago
"If you made more money we'd be having more sex"
This is your GF saying this wow. Nothing will justify going your own way as a man and just buying hookers than that statement there.
mintegral 8y ago
It's like he's posting here in order to show our reactions to his soon-to-be-wife-and-ex-wife, so he can say "look what they think of you, they would all dump you, but I AM a good man! Can you see it now?"
Wake up OP, time to eject from this upcoming catastrophe!
cashmoney_x 8y ago
But really, all your 'love' is is wanting to keep her safe, nearby and interested so you can keep fucking her. I love this sub but the way we talk about male love for females is way too romanticized. It's about value just like theirs is.
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random_1135 8y ago
Dude. You could literally be me. My ex-LTR had also studied law and she told me those exact words. I was still prety beta and thought I could negotiate with her. I earned more, more than she could comfortably spend, however the sex never changed and she sure as hell didnt speak any nicer to me.
The only thing you can do is Alpha up and tell her to go screw herself. I can guarantee you that she does not, and will never respect you. She will cheat on you with that attitude and if you give in then prepare yourself for a life of a pussy whipped hubby, the ones we all laugh at when we see them in the shops. She has already lost all respect for you.
One of the most important truths any red pill swallower needs to realize is that you do not need to put with such abuse. The is an abundance of women out there.
Edit: She is basically whoring herself out for more money. Prostitutes are much much cheaper than your fiance, so if you really want to pay for sex then at least go the cheaper route.
masnera 8y ago
one , look her in the eye and say the most sincerest "thank you" that you can ever say, two, have a dramatic exit plan (just for fun) three , read the theredpill side bar, (i would suggest the pdf edition)..then four up and the rest ...is up to you...you have your life intact.
FruitKnockersBatman 8y ago
She should be demoted to plate and ex-fiance.
Ko7a 8y ago
One of the fundamental rules of TRP:
Don't. Fucking. Get. Married.
Rathadin 8y ago
Congratulations on your break up. I hope you'll be posting tomorrow about how you're a single man.
If you don't, you're a fucking fool who will have a shitty married life and around 2-8 years after that a shitty divorced life.
Don't be a fucking fool. Please.
g2r3 8y ago
You are fucked. My coworker and his fiance just had a daughter 2 months ago. She kicked him out of the apt on Christmas eve. You sound a lot like him, and he is a subaverage IQ, even more socially retarded fuckwit. He was telling me how her 'ex-boyfriend' was really nice and helped him move his shit after literally getting kicked to the curb. He then said how when first getting into a relationship with this bitch that same 'ex' tried to warn him saying that this would happen, that he would get dumped as soon as she had a kid, but "I just couldn't believe it".
This is whats gonna happen: You're going to ignore all of the advice that everyone is screaming at you and marry her. She will have a kid 6-12 months from now (who probably wont be yours), then kick your ass onto the street. You will come back here crying about how your life is ruined and how you should have listened. We will fucking laugh at you.
You are socially retarded. I'm not trying to ridicule you here, I'm trying to help you. Call this shit off, and Internalize more TRP, especially concepts that relate to social dynamics like power-talk and shit tests.
LarryDavidsBallz 8y ago
Run for the hills. This woman only wants money. Find someone who wants you more than money. Get out now.
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[deleted] 8y ago
The more I read here the more I smell a troll. If you are for real then you are a whiny beta bitch. I hope she does marry you, dicorce rapes you and has a kid with Chad.
Waaah waaah, I paid for the wedding. I bought a honeymoon. Well go on the honeymoon by yourself or take a hooker if you have to. This post makes me sick to my stomach. You read red pill everybday - bullshit. You are a blue pill as it gets.
skulk2fade 8y ago
Unfortunately it is true and I am not a troll. Yes I read red pill but internalizing and following through are different to reading. Reading is easy doing is hard.
8n0n 8y ago
Adopting TRP is like learning how to walk, slow and awkward with plenty of trips to the floor at the start but as you practice at it things get easier and (pending injury/disability) tend to stay that way until death.
Worthwhile things don't come easy, but it makes the reward from the hard work put into it all the sweeter.
But come on OP, as a fellow Australian do me a favor and drop the fiancee TODAY. Trust your gut (to me it is telling you it is time to drop her, 'Unfortunately it is true and I am not a troll' are not the words of a man content with what he getting into), it is the reason you came to TRP.
strwbrry_flvrd_dth 8y ago
Holy shit. If this is how she acts now, imagine how horrible she will be after she has you locked down with marriage and/or kids and nothing to lose.
You've been given a rare chance to see the monster behind the curtain. Act accordingly.
happenstoeverycat 8y ago
She did you a favor.
You'd be an idiot if you marry her.
nappy_moose_nuts 8y ago
Kicking her to the curb is literally the most attractive thing to her you can do at this point. Go absolutely no contact, and when she reaches out to you reform the relationship on your terms. You have to be willing to show her that you can walk away and truly mean it. I learned this the hard way. The strongest negotiating stance is the one that can walk away and never look back, and trust me this will change the way she sees you and acts around you if you play it right. Stay strong, stay abundant.
TomFoo 8y ago
"I can't live like this..." actually meant, "Make more money so we (I) can continue living in our (my) luxury rental apt or get the fuck out," per my ex wife. Mind you, we could have cut back just a bit and still have enjoyed going out to nice dinners, vacations, blah blah.
She gave our marriage 10 months and then fired me, her husband (lifestyle financier). This was a year ago. Now I am only focusing on work, lifting, plating HBs. Can't be happier.
SpongeCroft 8y ago
"if you made more money, we would have more sex"
There you have it. Your wife is a whore. Leave her and go on. She's not worth your time.
FateBender 8y ago
For the love of everything that is holy, DON'T MARRY THAT WOMAN.
IM_PRETTY_RACIST 8y ago
Dude certs are more valuable than a degree in IT. I've made a LOT of money in IT before getting a degree. It's nice to have, but not essential.
sakibombs25 8y ago
If you accept the red pill, then accept that you are the cause of your lack of sex. You want sex from another sentient being, especially a women? You need to make her feel a certain way. Women will hold YOU responsible for THEIR feelings. Fucked up, I know, but that is the reality of the male female dynamic.
You don't talk about losing confidence with your woman... EVER. She is not your mother or your therapist. She expects you to have an abundance of confidence, and when you don't, you need to fake it and make it on your own. She will not give you the confidence you desire, through sex or any other means. Only you can give yourself the confidence you need, and it won't be from fucking her more. That will only make you even more mentally and physically dependent on her vagina, like a drug addiction.
Do the opposite. Withdraw sex, hit the gym, study more, define your goals, and go after them. Build uncertainty up in her mind, aka dread game. You need to have an abundance mentality and the mindset to walk away from the relationship if she doesn't give you what you demand from her.
You don't want more sex from her. You want better, rougher, more passionate sex from her. You want quality sex, not routine duty sex.
And in the end, she's right. You need to make more money than her, i.e. be more ambitious in your personal and professional development and advancement in your career. Getting an MBA will likely increase your chances at making more money, but by no means do you need that degree to do so. You can avoid a shit load of debt and make more money right now by getting better at networking and interviewing. Meet the right people and pitch yourself as an up and comer and you can make more money in a few months than in several years.
So what are you going to do today to realize your goals? Start by defining your goals and then go after them. The pussy will come as a side benefit not from a pathetic plea from "your" woman.
The-Ban-Hammer 8y ago
If you marry her, it should be an automatic ban to all RP subs and an automatic, permanent-admin position in deadbedrooms. You will deserve your fate.
bestfinder 8y ago
THEN WHY DID YOU POST THIS?!
This is literally the most unanimous advice I have ever seen on the internet. It's a chorus of people who are uninvested in your situation screaming "Don't do it!"
If you didn't want advice why post?
Please look at how awful women are. Exhibit A: My fiancee.
Doesn't that strike you as insane?
We're not raising flags, she's not raising flags. You're raising a flag and waving it at us. All we're doing is saying "That flag you're waving? It's a red one! Stop!"
kpak76 8y ago
Please tell me you aren't with her anymore. You see how evil this woman is, do not put on ring on her.
jonathan_c 8y ago
I hope to God this is some sort of joke or TRP circlejerk. But in the event that it is not, please listen to everyone here. I'll add my voice to the chorus: run, you dumb motherfucker. Run. Now. There are no plans you have made, no money you have already spent that is worth what you will be put through if you don't walk out that door right now. I swear, even if it means you leave with only the clothes on your back, it is worth it.
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helix6 8y ago
Calling off an engagement is a difficult choice, but can be a life-saver. I did it at 26 and it was a rough go. Looking back, I'm thankful every day. Fortunately my dad was extremely wise and did some Inception on me placing the seeds of doubt about this chick. Looking back there were red flags galore, I just needed a little bit of help to see them.
Your fiancee just made that red flag into a burning hot stop signal for you. You will be a little busted up on the way out, but you will be broken if you go through with this.
JohnnySkidmarx 8y ago
Man, you are in for a miserable life if you marry her. Re-think marrying her
bowie747 8y ago
Well obviously because men and women are equal partners in everything maybe she could consider taking the responsibility of earning mor-
oh..wait..that's not how it works?..ok
Make like Forest Gump OP
RealityBitesU 8y ago
If you marry this woman, you deserve the inevitable misery that your life will become. Unlike most men, you actually got the ugly truth at point blank range before the wedding and kids started to show up (although you should have picked up on the fact that she makes you feel worse about yourself, which isn't the sign of a healthy relationship).
Don't fucking marry this woman. With that one comment she has demonstrated her poisonous contempt for you, her expectation that you will exist for her benefit, and that she will be a complete goddamn icy shrew.
You've been warned. Ironically, the only thing you could really do to actually make her respect you (which she does not) is kicking her to the fucking curb immediately.
Sir_Distic 8y ago
YOUR EYES ARE OPEN. You know how she is. Do you honestly think it'll get BETTER after you marry her?
HARD next her. I'm dead serious.
Otherwise: >If you marry this woman, you deserve the inevitable misery that your life will become.
luciansolaris 8y ago
Like... dude... o_o
I mean... wow, you're all:
instead of:
when talking about it here.
I mean, look: just dump her and write ME a $100K check right now and I'll leave you in absolute peace and quiet, never to surface again! That's a hell of a lot more than what you'll get, for a hell of a lot less than you'll pay, from sticking by this chick! Frankly, in 10 years you might remember back to this and realize my offer was the bargain of the decade!
makethemsayayy 8y ago
Ok if you go ahead and get married, you deserve the divorce you're going to get. I refuse to feel bad for idiots like you who have all the information they need.
Whisper 8y ago
Are you retarded?
mojo_juju 8y ago
Whoa now. Whoooaaa Bessie.
She just told you everything you need to know. Ask yourself one question-- Do you think things are going to be better, when she legally owns your testicles to dispose of as she wishes?
This woman is about to hit the wall-- she's 28. She has no idea what a shit show she is in for after she's 30-32ish.
You on the other hand have plenty going for you. You have another 10 years to find a woman in her age bracket (28-ish).
My advice: Break up with her ASAP. Plan on finding a more wholesome, less whoresome woman in your MBA program. (Or perhaps one who is an undergrad while you're in grad school). This would be a fantastic opportunity for you.
AbsoluteAltitude 8y ago
Holy shit you need to cut your losses and get the fuck out now. Hundreds of other comments saying the same shit, just don't fucking do it.
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PlusGoody 8y ago
So everyone above agrees you should for your own sake run. No argument here.
I will supplement by saying you should also do this for her, because it's clear that she is still important to you, probably for good reasons.
She is miserable. She doesn't love you (anymore). You belong to a part of her life that's been long over -- no lawyer willing dates a non-graduate IT guy, but I bet your social positions were more similar when you met? My guess is that there is already a more senior lawyer in her practice she wants and family or nostalgia or gratitude for something nice you did for her in the past are the only things keeping her around. Let her go.
skulk2fade 8y ago
Hi Plusgoody,
Interesting take, different to others.
You are right she is important to me. I think I am important to her, she is a strong woman and I think she would break up with me if she had to, she dumped her last boyfriend of 5 years.
I have promised everyone I will keep them updated, so if I get divorce raped, you will know about it.
InscrutablePUA 8y ago
I don't understand this part. What does 'strong' mean in this context? Bossy, domineering, masculine (personality wise)? Do you really find that attractive?
What do you mean she would break up with you if she had to? Under what conditions would she HAVE to? Like if she met someone with looks, power, money, status (say, a high powered lawyer?)?
skulk2fade 8y ago
By strong I meant, if she didn't want to be with me, she wouldn't. I think if she was unhappy with our relationship she wouldn't stick around.
By had to I meant, if she felt our relationship made her happy and wasn't good for her, then I wouldn't expect her to stay around, I think she would go.
[deleted] 8y ago
Wanting to be with you and having the respect for you that is necessary for a relationship are not the same thing. Women are pragmatists first and lovers second.
InscrutablePUA 8y ago
OK, let me ask you a more important question: Under what conditions would you break up with her?
skulk2fade 8y ago
Cheating is a definite line that would make me break up.
always-be-closing 8y ago
That your fiance said "If you made more money, we would have more sex" isn't what would make you break up?
She literally just told you she is a whore, a prostitute, and views you as an ATM.
Someone who expects you to make more money for her, got you to book a honeymoon trip to Europe, and who you're planning on giving the rest of your life and earnings to exclusively, just reacted to your desire for more sex and the need to feel wanted in a relationship with:
"If you made more money, we would have more sex
If you don't run now, you'll have no one to blame but yourself.
InscrutablePUA 8y ago
Good. Is that the only thing?
[deleted] 8y ago
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skulk2fade 8y ago
Not fake unfortunately, I wish it was.
APookIsAPook 8y ago
Even if you aren't making more money now, she needs to believe you will be making more in the future.
With that said, I think the fact that she told you so plainly that she needs you to make more money before she'll have more sex with you is a red flag. Yes, women like winners but saying this flat out is rude.
skulk2fade 8y ago
I think she thinks I will make more money. I was making $80k on my last contract, so she knows I can make more and I have been getting lots of HD's on my degree which I finish this year and I told her i will do my MBA which I want to.
I play a lot of games and watch youtube etc. So I think she is trying t give me a little bit of a kick in the butt to be more proactive though.
I think it was rude to. It took me by surprise which is why I posted it to the red pill.
brother_red 8y ago
How's that working out for ya?
Pal, I've never seen this sort of outpouring for anyone. All these ECs? Geez, man. You'd do well to listen.
You've been given an extraordinary gift with her comment - it wasn't rude, it was a wake-up call.
-Riskbreaker- 8y ago
We're all itching for you to ditch this woman but a part of me knows you won't. Most likely you need to go through the suffering for real before you understand why everyone is telling you to quit while you're only slightly behind. If you do go ahead with the marriage, it will be one of the most painful and expensive lessons you ever endure, but it will make a man out of you. Good luck.
skulk2fade 8y ago
Thanks Riskbreaker.
You are right, I am not pulling out of the wedding. I have promised everyone I will update down the track, so if I get divorce raped like everyone is saying, you will all know about it.
Darkone06 8y ago
While I appreciate the updates, I will take no pleasure in seeing in action.
It's like watching from afar the Titanic run full speed at the iceberg. No this ship won't sink it's unsinkable.
This marriage won't crumble, we will hit our marriage and European vacation, but then what?
How long will you be able to take water before the ship goes under? How will you keep the excitement going? What's your next move?
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BlueChilli 8y ago
Look at OP's history. You've been dealing with shit for a while. You know what to do. Hell, in your comment history you've even given other people advice. You give them advice that you yourself are ignoring.
You don't need the validation from this sub to know what you need to do. You already know it. Now you must act on it. It doesn't matter what it costs you now, the cost will be far far greater if you delay.
It's time to make a choice. If you refuse to make that choice, that in itself is a choice. By doing nothing, you automatically choose the bluepill. And you still won't be happy and you still will lose that woman.
NecroLars 8y ago
If she hasn't cheated on you yet she will in the near future. Just think for a second - I'm sure you already know this deep down inside.
1Maverick1 8y ago
Damn dude...you need to seriously consider what you are getting into. This is some serious bs talk. When a woman says some shit like that in what is supposed to be a "committed" relationship she might as well as go out and bang some other dude.
If she really was into you she wouldn't want/need money and accept you for being a strong masculine presence. However, if she doesn't percieve you that way then she is already pretty much not worth your time. Unless you can make her see you in that light...kiss gettin it in on the reg goodbye.
old-path 8y ago
She is one, but managed to do a full time job of it instead of a gig.
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old-path 8y ago
You are involved with a long-term hooker then. Dump her and change ho's frequently and the per-hour ones don't pretend to be more then about sex and wont lean on you with their issues.
All synicism aside, this chick is the bottom of the barrel, dump her asap.
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throwaway-aa2 8y ago
Yeah yeah. Welcome to the club. Drop her.
if you go through with being with her, we don't want to hear it when things go south... I'm literally going to take a note of your name and if I see any dumb ass posts saying you got divorced raped or anything I'm going to make you feel like complete shit. You don't get to have the pleasure of calling out women for caring about money, when you are a man who has been told what is what and you still ignore it in face of your emotions. You're literally no better.
RUSTY_LEMONADE 8y ago
Money for sex? There's a word for that.
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Stythe 8y ago
Honestly, that's whack. I'd GTFO. Honestly man, as someone who's ex told me I needed to let her have her [sexual] fun because she's younger than me before she's ready to be more exclusive (this was about 4-6 months INTO a relationship where we were living together and I was paying for everything, becoming more and more depressed), I can say that yea, you just got an eye opener if there ever was one. Don't waste any more time.
At least, that's my advice.
nomorelulu 8y ago
You're on TRP and you're still engaged, and to this woman? Some people are literally helpless.
EDIT: Reading more into this, OP is clearly fucked up. So BP it's sickening.
Siex 8y ago
I promise you... YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY if you do not make serious change in your life.
Step 1. Focus on you... this means getting rid of that baggage.
Quality life is short, and happiness is what you make it... dont rob yourself of a quality life of happiness
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chances_are_ur_a_fag 8y ago
how can you possibly be attracted to a complete bitch?
GC0W30 8y ago
If I made more money, I would be having more sex.
With someone hotter....
DomHaynie 8y ago
I thought it said “fiances stretched thin." Quite the opposite.
techinept 8y ago
She was probably joking, you took it way too personally. Just do things that make her more attracted to you. If she does things to upset you, don't respond emotionally, laugh it off and go prove your awesomeness.
wattwatty 8y ago
This is a female solicitor? That combo could not straightforwardly say that the sky is blue.
This is not powertalk. Ergo, troll.
PantsonFire1234 8y ago
Ditch that leach. Right now, don't even explain yourself. She fucked up, now you got an excuse to be free.
greatGoD67 8y ago
If you love her marry her with no regrets.
If you love your next wife, dont marry this one.
joedapper 8y ago
Walk away bro. Even if she's 1 in a million there's 7000 of her.
somarain 8y ago
I have a feeling this wasn't labeled "blue pill" when he posted it. lmao
greatmikeshark 8y ago
If she is saying this to you now and your not even married. Dump her now!
Kickpuncher82 8y ago
Was in same situation but I made about 15k more than her. She basically had the same attitude. We are no longer together.
Fratt_Stafford1 8y ago
I call troll. This story is Bullshit, trying to get a rise out of the community here.
[deleted] 8y ago
Run for your life. Seriously - I don't care about all the arrangements, all the plans, all the disappointed people.
Cancel all that shit. Cancel the real estate deal (regardless of what anyone says, you can get out of it). Tell her you are finished. Get your shit. Move away.
Never, ever speak to her again. She might be beautiful, and the sex might be good - but run away. This is not a good partner.
bloodfoxtrue 8y ago
Time to bail, OP! Hell, she's basically telling you to value your career over her.
Javier_Mendoza 8y ago
Yeah, you're not going to get more sex, no matter how much money you make.
This woman thinks you're not good enough for her, and your income is not the reason.
superyay 8y ago
Why does your confidence hinge on what she says? You're looking for external sources of confidence when you should be looking to cultivate that within yourself.
Also drop her like she's hot or you're in for a world of hurt.
iDont_too 8y ago
Jesus, biggest red flag in the book
fdsdfs89 8y ago
"Can woman make a shit test so big OP can't see it?" Yes.
Janus_Fawkes 8y ago
I loled so hard I farted. You win 100 Internets.
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HighTechCaveMan 8y ago
Please be strong and do not marry this woman.
Janus_Fawkes 8y ago
A hundred other replies already said it: Leave her. NOW. That is some cold shit...how can you be in love someone and say something like that? When you're not in love. Look how bold she is. She thinks she has you so wrapped around her finger, that she can say something like that without repercussions? Fuck. No. Imagine if the situation was reversed. Any woman with a shred of self respect would dump your ass.
Sex is an expression of connection and feelings two people share...if it's transactional, it's bust.
Just_in78 8y ago
If the nuclear sirens and red lights blaring aren't enough to make you jump ship, you're a lost cause. This woman will ruin you, and benefit from it every minute of it. Cut your losses and bounce already. No pussy is worth ruining your life over.
Il128 8y ago
Why the fuck are you getting married? So you are signing up to give away half of your shit for the rest of your life because you love someone who doesn't love you?
Grow the fuck up and put your big boy pants on dumb ass.
EscortSportage 8y ago
Run for the hills! Fuck that, no woman will hold sex over me like that. You have been severely warned you need to call it off.
famousturtle 8y ago
Let the man make his own choice. Show him how bad his bitch is and let him decide. Tell him his options, don't tell him what to do
brother_red 8y ago
My fingers are getting tired upvoting all the posts telling him to leave.
Unfortunately, he's determined to find out for himself if fire is hot.
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TheTempService 8y ago
This is the saddest shit I've ever read.
[deleted] 8y ago
Over 400 comments agree. You're going to get fucked. If that isn't enough motive to listen then you are indeed helpless.
Stop everything right now. Call her and say it's over. Stop having anxiety about ending it and just get it over with. Stop worrying about HOW it's all going to work out and just fucking pull the trigger and deal with the aftermath as it unfolds.
7a5154 8y ago
Watch this over and over again until you understand:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QP4UV93TNM
CZ-75 8y ago
Hey buddy, grow a pair and drop that bitch asap.
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Thotwrecker 8y ago
Hahahaha this bitch did you such a big favor. She's too contemptuous of you to keep this on the DL, and now you've seen her real side. If she had played the game a little better, you're dumb ass would be married to a lawyer who's trying to stunt in Ibiza off of your salary.
Don't buy real estate with her, don't marry her, cancel the honeymoon. Your relationship is your own fault now that you've got the RP knowledge to know better.
Gotta be honest man, I see that you've been in denial about your wife viewing you as a beta wallet for a long time from your "woman's been putting me down constantly" post about a month ago. You gotta eject and realize that you have to go through the pain of actually swallowing the pill to be RP; there is nothing RP about learning the knowledge, but then not using it to shape your actions.
You going to learn something at last, or you going to need to ruin your life to really get it?
helio2k 8y ago
I read through some of your posting history.
I will bookmark you, because i believe if you go through with marrying her your life will go down the drain.
Why i think that ? I too had a girlfriend who didn't respect me because i didn't respect myself a.k.a. i didn't do what i truly wanted to do. You won't believe how they can make a full 180 on you... suddenly they show the disgust. For me it was good, clean cut and i learned i have to work on myself... and i did.
But for you ...
Dissapoint my expectations!
At least reschedule the marriage to a later point. But don't think like "We have invested already so much" I suck at poker but even i know you don't go all in just because i have invested so much in this hand
Dissapoint my expectations!!!
TattedGuyser 8y ago
"If I made more money, I'd be having sex with someone else"
royal_fucktard 8y ago
Next her for a 22 yr old who is broke.
vengefully_yours 8y ago
If you weren't a gold digging whore, you'd still be involved with me instead of on the curb.
redpillavatar 8y ago
I wouldn't buy real estate with she.
infiniteslinky 8y ago
You are both under stress from the thin finances. It's easy for her to fall in to that shitty learned: "men need to be the provider" mindset because of the stress.
What do children do when they are in a shitty situation: look to the adults for help. Whelp that's you now bud.
Mariostern1 8y ago
My teacher told me today that "True love only exists between men", whatever he means.
Well, your woman want money for sex, then be her pimp.
B_uckets 8y ago
She literally told you she doesn't love you. She might love some idealized version of you that only exists in her mind, but she doesn't love the actual you that exists in the real world.
This is the perfect Get Out of Jail Free card. When your family asks, just say "She told me she doesn't love me anymore. I had no choice".
If you don't end it, you might as well chop your balls off now and get it over with.
JanLul 8y ago
Flair should not be 'Red Pill Theory'. It clearly should be 'Blue Pill Example.
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myschadenfreude 8y ago
You were told in plain English she will give you validation for cash. Do not marry her
Pm_MeyourManBoobs 8y ago
Stop and don't make the same mistake as countless others have made. Just stop.
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doublereignbeau 8y ago
Sir, I have noticed in your post history that you consistently advertise trp in other sub reddits.
Such activity will get TheRedPill banned from reddit altogether. Please cease and desist such actions. You are harming the rest of us by your actions.
We do not need anyone else standing up for us, and we certainly don't need a smug newbie who thinks he knows what we're about.
remember13 8y ago
I think this is a troll post.
Wrong_Opinion 8y ago
Hit the eject button and save yourself a lot of future hardship.
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turn30left 8y ago
Dude. Run like the wind. Cut your losses. This bitch is a cancer.
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LessASnowmanThanAGod 8y ago
The best option is to GTFO and to sever ties. However, if that just seems too daunting you have to at least call off the engagement and take at least a 3-month break when you MUST make a serious effort to go out and meet women.
One thing is for sure, even if she doesn't start fucking other guys (or doesn't divorce you and take the kids), you will eventually regret not taking drastic action with a character warning like this.
And good luck. PLEASE, put yourself in a position where you can build self-esteem away from what sounds like a toxic character.
EDIT: wording
aa223 8y ago
I mean she already made her level of commitment clear to you and at least she didn't dress it up with obscure lingo or anything like that. I won't say bail on her because other people are saying abort and it is clear you have an emotional attachment to her.
All I can say is evaluate your choices and make a sound logical decision on whether or not you want to continue on this path. All I can say is the sooner you make the decision the better off you will be. Also, like the highest upvoted comment said don't blame her if things go south.
JedidiahSky 8y ago
Everyone here is telling you to make a rash decision. Talk to her first, and be blunt about money/sex/love. Then tell her to fuck off if she truly can't look past finances.
B0u1dA 8y ago
She is shit testing you constantly, you're depressed and insecure and you're still considering marriage? Get out of this, she's told you who she is. Every comment on here is telling you the same thing and that's really rare but we're all men. Get out of this relationship as fast as you can.
GainzdalfTheWhey 8y ago
This is BP example isnt it?
max_peenor 8y ago
If you invest your confidence in the validation from a woman, she will bankrupt you.
I missed the part of your post where you called off the wedding. You should edit that in.
Tokeru 8y ago
First of all, you haven't swallowed the pill. You're looking at it and thinking about taking it. I don't even think its stuck in your throat at this point.
You need to realize she is letting you know what she sees you for. Money. And you need to accept what that means for you. She sees you as a Beta Buck, and you are playing right into her hand. You literally talked to her about your feelings. This is not what you want to do.
Sorry to say this, but its too late to save face. She has seen your bluepill betaness, and you must cut ties. You have no choice.
EpicLevelCheater 8y ago
This post is making my Troll Senses tingle, but I am going to leave it up because it has already spawned some good discussion threads.
trpdgc 8y ago
Ironically, you're getting blown away while the exact opposite is happening
grewapair 8y ago
I had a woman tell me the same thing when I was earning practically nothing: I needed to make a lot more money to allow her to quit her job to start a family.
So I studied for a grad school entrance exam, got in to one of the best schools, graduated with a good job paying a lot more, and dumped her.
I was making a lot more money, I could do way better than her!
Your_Small_dick 8y ago
I think you should marry her, so that way we have an interesting blue pill example to read about in 4 years when she fucks Chad Thunder Cock Esquire at her law firm.
Grow self respect, dont ask for it or expect it from a woman.
Easih 8y ago
4years? that's giving it too much time :).
Your_Small_dick 8y ago
I suspect the honeymoon, then a year of her parading him and belittling him in public, then a year of no sex, then the year for the affair, then the year where he realizes shes getting plowed outside the marriage and tries to "work on it" then the year of the divorce.
Squabbles123 8y ago
I would have walked the fuck out.
Blackierobinsin 8y ago
I bet you she's American, don't even look her way, Asian/Latina women are the best way to go for a relationship
Easih 8y ago
ASian and Latina are just as bad if they have been americanized.
TRPhd 8y ago
"I guess that makes you a whore then. Whores fuck for money, you said you'd fuck me for more money, ergo, you are a whore. Get the fuck out of my house, whore."
Besides, lawyer women are known problems. Google around for stories of men married to lawyers; you will find plenty of material for your worst nightmares. You are in for some serious shit if you don't call it off. "One thing you can never say is that you haven't been told." https://youtu.be/bzVeLjj6Ao8?t=226
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Moneyley 8y ago
WHOA SHIT! WE ARE BUYING REAL ESTATE
CANCEL THE FUCK OUTTA THIS!! Most jurisdictions can see this as a representation of marriage. Cancel the real estate transaction ASAP! Do NOT BETATHAFUCK outta this and tell her first. She may be doing a lot of things right now without telling you. Remove yourself from any real estate purchases, or make sure that you are describing yourself as having a mutual interest in the property with another buyer. Overall, get out, take a hit on the credit, its a small price to pay. Cant believe this was overlooked!
paulwalkr 8y ago
We're going to want an update on this down the road :-)
aman27deep 8y ago
I'm not a red pill guy, but I like reading all the opinions from everyone.
You don't need to be a RPer to understand you'll make a mistake by marrying this woman.
Drenmar 8y ago
Oh God. Don't fucking marry. Just don't.
darren559 8y ago
Nope the fuck out man, no woman is worth marriage in the first place, and someone withholding sex as a punishment is pushed off the side of my boat immediately, she can find another fish in the sea as I keep living the life I want to live, so I will just fish another out of the sea and throw it back when it goes bad. I like my women, don't get me wrong, but I like to live a life of peace and tranquility. If they go beyond the boundaries I have set, which I explain to them, it's two strike and they are out. I have never had a problem getting women and there is always another to keep me warm in my bed when needed,.
NakedAndBehindYou 8y ago
Somebody hasn't been paying attention.
SheriffBart42 8y ago
My exact words would be:
"Fiance(whatever her name is), A real woman inspires a man into making more money. She doesn't punish him for not having done so. Especially in the middle of his education.
I thought I loved you and wanted to marry you, but I've decided the time and money I'm spending on you is holding back my career and my sex life. Take care."
williesmokes 8y ago
You guys are good people for warning him
_the_jews_did_911 8y ago
In a few years she will be sucking some partners dick to make it up the ladder while you blend your brain cells staring at code all day.
Get married at your own peril.
jesushatesu 8y ago
Cut your losses. Get out. It'll hurt, but it'll hurt even more later on when kids get involved. Heed the warning.
GaiusScaevolus 8y ago
Cancel the wedding.
Cancel the European Honeymoon
Look how much your cash flow opened up by dropping just a little dead weight.
soadaa 8y ago
This is all the wake up call you should need. I know AWALT, but this sounds so stereotypical.
I guess what occurred is you've fallen into her frame (at least for sex) and she doesn't lust for sex for you but see it as an obligation and just throwing you a bone.
If you marry her I would bet some money one day down the road while you're getting sex maybe monthly for no effort and just piv missionary, chad is fucking her ass and cumming down her throat while she begs for it.
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raceAround126 8y ago
These were only some of the taunts I got from my ltr when we had our dead bedroom. Bad news. When I earned more money and even earned near double her salary, there were new reasons why she kept the bedroom door closed. New things and new goals for me to achive before I could touch her.
In left and have never been happier.
Don't do what I did and put up with it for 8 years. Especially if family and kids are your goal.
fartag1994 8y ago
You sound like a pussy bud, dump that hoe
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ImmaRealBoy 8y ago
OP, look at all the support you're getting here. All these men who want what's best for you. Hell, some of these blokes truly know what's best for you. The advice is unanimous and if you effectively lurk, expected.
You are now faced with a decision that orignated the name TRP.
In one hand, the blue pill. In the other hand, the red pill. You must choose.
Except this isn't a movie. This is your life. This is your legacy, and it's currently being hijacked by some broad armed with the law completely on her side.
These are just words of a message board. Look deep inside yourself, locate your testicles, and claim them. (They'll be hidden in the sewage water, AKA the shitty feelings of self-doubt)
You know you shouldn't marry her. So don't.
Syberion01 8y ago
You know the interesting part about this, is that her respect for you would go up 5000x if you just dump her after she tells you this garbage
Janus_Fawkes 8y ago
And she will try to fuck you to get you back. Ah, the balance of power...
BenjiDread 8y ago
This. I've seen it with my own eyes.
Syberion01 8y ago
Yup, I have done this.. She started some retarded bullshit like this... I told her to have a nice life. She showed up in 3 hours outside of my condo in Lingerie BEGGING... (she also had to drive 1.5 hours to get to me at this point)
Syberion01 8y ago
Man just kill her... cut off her fingertips, rip out her teeth, and if she has implants make sure you take those out as well.. You need to put the remaining torso into an acid bath and then burn the remains.. whatever remains from those remains put into 5 sacks and spread them the fuck out....
Even if you go to jail it will still be better than being stuck with this bitch... good luck champ
mikesteane 8y ago
He would definitely go to jail for this. He's not a woman.
momomotorboat 8y ago
With all the details you've laid out, this may be on par with the biggest red flag I've ever seen. She's an attorney. I'm in law school, so although I'm not on her level, I know with certainty that she is fully aware of what she can do to you legally.
You should thank your lucky stars this happened NOW. If you don't leave and things turn out badly, don't say we didn't warn you.
Easih 8y ago
I cant imagine getting involved with a woman in law;that's like a bomb waiting to explose at any time.
needsomehalpls 8y ago
Cant add much but bro get the hell away from her.
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Dishevel 8y ago
Dude.
Get the fuck out.
There is literally zero reason for you to commit to that piece of shit.
jason1009 8y ago
DO NOT MARRY THIS WOMAN........ I REPEAT, DO NOT MARRY THIS WOMAN.
I can get google translate and put this in ANY language for you to understand ok.
If ANY woman told me "more money = more sex" , I would be gone YESTERDAY.
She will be surrounded by tall dark handsome wealthy men and in 7 years, you guys will be raising 2 kids. She will become bored and will be bent over someone's desk and blame it all on you. Dude..... wake up. NOW. Just trying to spew a little harsh reality on you.
blue_27 8y ago
This isn't a condition that will improve with time. This relationship has already seen it's best days. It's just downhill (freefall?) from here. Eject. Eject. Eject.
FemtoG 8y ago
A HUNTER DOESN'T SET UP A TRAP TO TRAP THE ANIMAL, BUT TO EAT THE ANIMAL. SHE TRAPPED YOU. YOU BROKE AN ANKLE DUE TO THE TRAP ($15K IN THE HOLE FOR WEDDING AND SHIT). BUT YOU ARE STILL SITTING THERE WAITING TO BE EATEN ($1MM+ IN YOUR LIFETIME GETTING CUCKED).
Get out while you still have a piece of your balls left. You fucked up big time.
sirencow 8y ago
Shit will hit the fan when you start pulling 120k after your MBA and she tells you that it's not enough because her partner makes 500k ..
Fulp_Piction 8y ago
You might not think so, but you've gotten very very lucky, your fiance just showed her hand on the turn, and it's a straight flush to King.
Fold, scram, get out. If she's saying this kind of shit to your face then she doesn't respect you. She thinks you're already in the bag and would never walk away. She's overtly saying "Hey bitchdick, make more money to buy me more shit, I promise some pity sex if you do".
Big problem #1: You can't negotiate attraction. Read that again, and again. You cannot negotiate attraction, and that's exactly what you tried to do. You don't put feelz tokens in and blowjobs come out, that's beta distilled to it's purest form.
Big Problem #2: I'm not trying to put ideas in your head, you know your fiance better than any stranger here, but she's also inferred that if you make more money you'll be attractive. She works in law, with rich lawyers. Bear in mind that women are always fuckin'. Women love sex as much as men. There is nothing a woman would like more than to be jackhammered by the most masculine Chad Thundercock alpha male she knows. If she's not fucking you often enough to keep you satisfied, she's not fucking you enough to keep herself satisfied.
I'm not going to lie, I've never been in your position with the same amount of pressure involved, but look at what everybody who's been around a while is telling you. It's a real shit place to be, but just go. I was dumped by a girl that would've treated me the exact same way as yours has treated you, given the chance, and it was the single greatest thing that has ever happened in my life. Period.
I promise you from the depths of my soul, that if you leave now you will not regret it. You're worth so much more than society will ever let you believe, all you have to do is realize it.
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jm51 8y ago
Well at least he knows that he is marrying a prostitute. It's not like she didn't tell him.
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 8y ago
Obviously, walk away from the shark. Spin some plates, and if you find one who treats you well for you, surprise her by taking her on the vacation, whether she spins afterward or not. Don't even THINK of committing to another woman exclusively till your career is on track and you've unfucked yourself mentally. Good luck!
DJBobbyC 8y ago
I looked at your post history just to see if you have been replying to any one of these comments and you seem to be very hypocritical of yourself. You have no problem telling others to "live TRP life" but yet you are acting as a blue pill in this relationship?
How are you going to tell people to do something that you are questioning yourself about?
You need to dump this broad now before it's too late. It sucks but you should seriously listen to these people.
JoRocKStaR 8y ago
This dude will never break up with his chick. No way this kind of demoralization has been recent. She's probably been putting you down since day one and you go out and get this broad a ring just to satisfy her. Sorry bro but you're knee deep. You don't know your worth any more and are entirely at her grasp for qualification & acceptance. You've been emotionally compromised.
Good luck man. This is the biggest hole to get out of.
the_shining_way 8y ago
Speaking as a guy who has been married: I'm jealous of you. You learned about TRP BEFORE getting married.
You will never get this time back again. You're nowhere near the prime of your life yet and your fiancé is already peaking. It's all downhill for her, from here on out. You're lucky, very lucky, that she played her hand too early. You know what she's about.
Be a man. Get the fuck out.
J2501 8y ago
Sounds like you are about to marry a prostitute. She has shown her hand. I would start looking for better options on the DL. LoL
goldpocketwatch 8y ago
after hearing that, why are you still calling her your fiance?
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bukusuman 8y ago
Thank you TRP we almost lost another one!
PirateBatman 8y ago
Lol you have the greatest opportunity to see utter shock on this woman's face as you tell her it's over. God can you imagine it. There's no way she could cope with having someone she sees as so far under her basically tell her she's not valuable enough to stay with him suddenly. Oh man especially when she thinks she has you totally locked down.
The possibilities here are brilliant.
iwishiwasamermaid 8y ago
My goodness. This is some serious manipulation. She doesn't even have you locked down yet and she's withholding sex for rewards. You make 60k/year and have a bachelors? That's really good OP, and you plan on getting an mba so hopefully you will make more. You also pretty much handed your balls over to her when you said you NEED a woman to love you amd give you sex and you have lost your confidence. That is a massive turn off and she already has no respect for you, she now knows she holds all the cards. I would end this and let her manipulate some other fool. You're on rp so you're aware. Cut your losses and goto europe on your own.
TheModernDayMan 8y ago
Bro, you are not ready for marriage. If she is already making you feel this way and is talking to you like that, you aren't handling the relationship correctly. Marriage is going not going to be easy. Especially starting out like that. Think real hard about the decision you're about to make. You have MULTIPLE guys on here telling you not to go through with it. I hope you can make the best decision for yourself and wish you the best.
OrangeJello23 8y ago
Definitely abort, I think that much is clear from the hundreds of comments.
However, the lesson to be learned here is that you should never tell a woman she's "putting you down psychologically". Any demonstration of weakness or inadequacy is like the smell of blood in the water, particularly to the metaphorical lawyer shark that is your (hopefully ex) fiancee.
Next time, tell a woman who's putting you down to shut her fat mouth. It's way more emotionally healthy and less dangerous to the frame of your relationship.
kick6 8y ago
Cancel the honeymoon, and then you'll have more money. This is a relationship you need to end NOW, but there's no reason you can't troll the fuck out of her on your way out the door.
Fumblz 8y ago
OP, You have a whole forum pretty much bombarding you with the same shpeel and deep down you know the correct move here. You really need to get to the core and move forward. I don't want to make another post about whats going to happen. You know what will happen, just look over the situation and think if things continue like this, will you be happy 5 years from now?
Good luck OP, I hope you give us an update
Rantamous 8y ago
It's been said many times in the comments, already, but leave while you can avoid court ordered rape. The lack of respect from her in the sex statement alone is enough reason to drop the engagement. Cut your losses with the ring and get out while you can still save yourself from more suffering down the road. It's going to suck, at first, but work on yourself and get better and you'll be happier, later.
The information you've provided leads me to strongly believe she's an exceptionally toxic person to be in a relationship with, as well. If she makes you feel like shit and less confident, you shouldn't be dealing with her.
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stolidfact 8y ago
You are fucked. In every way except the way you want. Run, use whatever network and advantages you have gained from your association with her, and move on in life.
Eh. More so, you need to lift.
DeltaRecon2552 8y ago
Dump her and run dude. NEVER GET MARRIED.
everythingisthrown 8y ago
If you're finishing up an IT degree look into Cisco certs, specifically the CCNA/CCDA.
stawek 8y ago
You love her, so you don't want to break up. Understandable.
Your problem is probably you losing frame in the past and now losing it totally with the last conversation. Not much chance of repairing this, but if you really have to try...
Cancel the wedding. This is as strong a signal as you can send without going full nuclear and breaking up. Once you do weather the shitstorm it's about to cause, prepare on your own family to join the fray. Then focus on yourself and your frame if she decides to stay.
If she decides to leave: you will know 100% sure she did not want YOU, she wanted a wedding. You just happened to be the only schmuck crazy enough to wed her.
hugeveinycock 8y ago
I rarely comment at all but this has to be said:
Get the fuck out of that bullshit disaster of a relationship right away. Like, now.
Marrying that woman will utterly destroy your life and I can guarantee that.
The_Man_on_the_Wall 8y ago
Pull the ripcord NOW dude. If after consuming the information in this sub you are still going to marry someone like her then you deserve your future misery. Hate to be that blunt, but it is what it is.
scarfox1 8y ago
In my view you both gave each other the same ultimatum or argument: 1) I need more sex so I can get a better job 2) You need a better job so you can get more sex. And 2) was a reaction to 1), I'm sorry to defend her but I can't see how this shows you love her (asking for more sex, the men thing to do) and she doesn't love you for asking for more money (the woman thing to do). Sex was the bargaining chip for both parties.
But otherwise, top commenter has brought up some cold truths which are more important.
swiggitty_swooty 8y ago
What a cunt.
Don't succumb to the sunk cost fallacy. Even if you have to eat the cost of the honeymoon and real estate, you're getting out cheap compared to marrying that thing.
thenemaxofredpill 8y ago
What the fuck did I just read. You are more plugged in than my dryer.
Are you fucking serious!?!?! You'd have way more money if you weren't slaving away for this princess. How much honeymoon cost...10k?
You have no degree and only a couple certs and are making as much as her with a damn law degree. Fuck that slut. IT is where it is at but the market is down and guess which departments get funding cut when the market is down...yup IT. That bitch needs to get a grip if she thinks 63k is making "money" with a law degree.
Did you cry, man? Did you beg her? I think I threw up in my mouth a little because you clearly have not read anything on Red Pill.
cue Terrence Popp when he says "but I love her"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1AW4AJDJb4
SMH. STOP POSTING UNTIL YOU READ AND ARE LIFTING
and PS.... IF YOU STILL ARE CONSIDERING MARRYING THIS PRINCESS....GO AHEAD AND PICK OUT A NICE TALL BRIDGE BECAUSE YOU ARE GONNA WANT TO JUMP OFF IT AFTERWARDS.
optimusderp 8y ago
DONT MARRY HER, its a trap man. A comment like that should be sending red flags.
santereality 8y ago
Definitely grounds to postpone the wedding lol
dabrah1 8y ago
So she wants more money for sex? sounds like a lot of the girls youll find on craigslist, if you know what i mean
FrameWalker 8y ago
Please be a troll. If not she just told you that she's a prost.
htbf 8y ago
In case the other guys weren't clear enough.
DROP HER AND RUN THE FUCK AWAY
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BoTuLoX 8y ago
ABORT
GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE
RIGHT ABOUT FUCKING NOW
YOUR ASS IS GRASS AND SHE'S A LAWNMOWER
YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING VERY STUPID BY GOING FORWARD, RETREAT, ISOLATE AND STUDY UNTIL YOU ACKNOWLEDGE THE SHITHOLE YOU GOT YOURSELF OUT OF
flat6turbo 8y ago
i have very little faith that op will do the right thing.
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FramedInRed 8y ago
I have to disagree with everyone here. I say go for it! Marry your unicorn!
You're clearly not RP if you have to ask questions like this. What you're in for in the next 5-10 years will cram the red pill so far down your throat it'll never come back up. We call it the price of admission. Everyone has their own price they paid to find this place and internalize the pill.
TRPMaidenSlayer 8y ago
To be fair, my most miserable married friends became most miserable after the 5-10 year mark.
Slow erosion. And since my friends who got married 5 years ago in their late 20s are now hitting that mark... it's really interesting to see.
bsutansalt 8y ago
I don't know how your post slipped through, but personal stuff like this belongs in /r/asktrp.
NavyBoyRoy 8y ago
It must have been such a high profile case. I saved it so I can read it in a future date to remind myself how bad it can truly be.
4FF41R 8y ago
She just showed you her true colors. Now, what are you going to do with that information?
stillnoturday 8y ago
You're getting married to this.
I wanted you to read that out loud.
WendigoWood 8y ago
Here's what you say.
"I don't like your attitude and I'm leaving. Goodbye."
Sdom1 8y ago
DO NOT MARRY THIS GIRL. You need to break it off now. Hear me out:
For a woman, her engagement period and wedding day is quite literally the happiest time of her life. She will never be more into you than she is right now. THIS IS AS GOOD AS IT GETS. This is the pinnacle of your relationship. Just think about that. It will only get worse.
If you don't think she loves you now, just you wait. If you marry this woman, you will regret it the rest of your life.
gorefap 8y ago
You're about to fuck up what sounds like an amazing life. Do you understand what that means? Because it sounds like you've never fucked your life up before.
All the stories you read about losing your home, your car, your kids, your income, charges of domestic abuse and violence, supervised visitation with your kids, child support and spousal maintenance that never ends... you think that shit is make-believe? This is what you are walking in to.
You love her? You think retards marry girls like that because they don't love them? How do you think failed marriages begin?
Know what she wants right now? A vacation and joint tax credits.
What do you think she'll take from you when she files for divorce? You think she's going to care about your love? Hah.
Today you are the luckiest guy on earth right now. To be given this gift of prophecy, to rewrite your future. If you do not eliminate all contact with this woman then you are doomed in ways you can not possibly imagine until it's way too late.
This is what you sound like to the rest of the world.
NPK5667 8y ago
GTFO now man. Youve lost at this point. Already said all the wring things. You either pull your shit together and do a 180.... Im talking a 100% change from your current shittiness.... Thats going to be damn near impossible, so id start planning on divorcing this woman and covering your losses.
PS. NEVER SAY "i think we need more sex blah blah blah" that is literally beta as fuck. You start trying to fuck your wife and if she says no you go into the other room and dont fucking talk to her! Quit being a whiny bitch about it.
[deleted] 8y ago
Did you wake up today and thought: "What's the most whiny beta shit I could say to my girl today?"
Her problem probably isn't even that you're not making more money than her, but that you're making her put up with your bitchy whining.
Discuss that shit with a male friend, not with your future wife. That being said, why the fuck are you marrying her? First of all you shouldn't get married anyway (it's fucking everywhere in this sub) and second: You really wanna get married to a bitch that doesn't even respect you at this very moment? What do you think is gonna happen when you marry her and she's got you by the balls?
Jesus christ, get your shit together man. If you still wanna get married after every single person in this thread telling you to run, think about this very moment. You'll regret it for the rest of your life.
DoerOfStuffAndThings 8y ago
Break it off now, do NOT get married.
exit_sandman 8y ago
I see a silver line in that sentence.
favours_of_the_moon 8y ago
Time for that bitch to suck it.
broskiatwork 8y ago
As much as I hate to say it ... get out. You are not married yet, and frankly you don't need to marry that. You've already lost points in the relationship by admitting to feeling less confident because of how she treats you, you have to work to not only combat that but also 'restore' yourself in her eyes. I don't think that she effectively respects you.
Yeah man, I hardly post here but shit I don't see this ending well. She's openly disrespecting you and doesn't care. Take it as a sign and get out. Nothing is final until you sign the papers; and you don't want to have to go through a divorce with a lawyer as your spouse.
DrMrPepper 8y ago
She isn't attracted to you due to some lack of money or power.
You go ahead and tell her you've been feeling shitty about it and reveal more weakness.
You've put yourself in a really deep hole. And won't be getting in her holes because of it.
SexistFlyingPig 8y ago
Get out now.
Seriously, get out of this relationship now. For where you are in life, you're doing great career wise.
Your life will get a lot better and she will get to marry a senior partner at her law firm, stop working and start pushing out babies.
I have a question for you that you should answer very seriously. Why do you want to get married?
CornyHoosier 8y ago
Dude. You're marrying a stuck up, materialistic lawyer who doesn't even want to fuck you in your engagement period (which is women women are usually going hog wild).
You're soooooo fucked. Ha!
tclearinghouse 8y ago
I am going to bookmark this post and whenever I think my life is bad I am going to come back and re-read this story and see just how bad it COULD be.
rossiFan 8y ago
Step 1) Call off the wedding/marriage/everything
Step 2) See if you can get a refund on anything that you've booked, vacation-wise.
Keep on your educational track at all cost.
Your_Small_dick 8y ago
Step one cancel wedding.
step two go on your own honeymoon and learn to love yourself.
HV123 8y ago
Wake up. The only reason you won't dump her is because you're scared you can't get anyone else "as good".
squidracer 8y ago
If you think getting married will solve your lack of sex problem you will be very disappointed
yes_itsanalt 8y ago
You are getting all the marriage advice you need.
Let me give you some other advice. I am in IT. I have an AA and I make 6 figures. That degree is not what will determine your salary. Those certifications will help. But the reality is your drive, determination and continuing to learn more skills. Be really good at what you do in IT and the degrees don't matter as much.
IT is a hobby and a career. You have to love it. But if you do, go out and take what you want. Don't settle and I would wait on the MBA until you are in your mid 30s or later. Get your MBA if you want to become a CTO or more at a larger company. You will get significantly more benefit out of it then and be in a better financial spot.
its-iceman 8y ago
I told him this too. I have a high school diploma and make well into six figures. Hopefully he sees that.
Can you imagine taking on MBA-level debt without the appreciable skills to back it up? Yuck.
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JP_Whoregan 8y ago
Why on fucking earth is this woman still your fiancé? Marrying in general is a bad idea. Marrying a woman lawyer is a fucking horrible idea. Think about it; when she tires of you, she already has the legal skill to know how to clean your clock in a divorce.
InscrutablePUA 8y ago
Can she still divorce rape him if she makes a lot more than he does?
JP_Whoregan 8y ago
People look at this common trope and never dig deep enough to look at the "applied science" aspect to see what really happens.
What happens in reality is, let's say the husband and wife both get married at age 28, making the same $50k salary each. Well, 2 years later, wifey gets pregnant, and 9 months later, she's taking maternity leave to care for the baby. Could be 3 months, could be 12 months. Or, as what often happens, mommy never goes back to work at all, and even if she does, she does so in a part-time situation. She will claim that the stresses of motherhood combined with a full time legal job is just too much to handle.
Cue the divorce 10 years later. Well, she will tell the judge that she made all of the sacrifices in the marriage, that she sacrificed "her career" to give her husband "his children", and that she will never be able to live up to her "life long income potential" because of those sacrifices.
So short answer, yes, you can still get divorce raped if the judge deems she could've made more childless and single, even if she makes more money than you.
Watch the movie "Divorce Corp". Men get fucked seven ways from Sunday in Family Court. The system so heavily favors women it's ridiculous. When it comes to family law lawyers, which gender do you think goes into that legal practice? Women.
Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 8y ago
This is dead on. When you have a high-paying job like being an attorney, and you quit to keep house and raise kids, you can tell the court that you gave up your HUGE earning potential as part of your contribution to the marriage. Attorneys are on a short track - you graduate law school at 25 and have about 7 years to make partner. Once you're a woman with kids, though, a firm will mommy-track you. Your big ass partner salary isn't a possibility any more.
There's next to zero possibility for a favorable divorce settlement for OP.
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verify_account 8y ago
YOU CANNOT NEGOTIATE DESIRE.
It's time to up your dread game bud.
xkcd_puppy 8y ago
You had better get some sense in you boy, and listen to every single post in this thread.
Get the fuck out of that shithole you dug yourself. Get out now!
But ok, it's kind of obvious you aren't going to just drop what you think you've worked so hard for. In 1 year I hope after you have nursed your pain and anger and hate, that you can come back here and start over.
This is just the folly of all men. Carry with you some truth: you are worth much more than what you think a woman in your life can make you, and abundance mentality. The cure for oneitis is a harem of pussy. Which is pretty easy for you to get if you just take a step back from a succubus and look at who you really are and your real worth.
edit: read the sidebar and links more and more. It's hypergamy. AWALT. It will happen. Prepare for the burn.
patriots-troll 8y ago
Op please don't get married the relationship seems like 6 flags.
SureImShore 8y ago
I have seen this same fucking post from you multiple times, both on here and asktrp.
How much advice do you need? Why do you continue to believe things will change? What THE FUCK is wrong with you?
I give up. Enjoy a continued miserable life, which will only get worse once you're married. I can't wait for the post 18 months from now about how she's fucking some other dude and taking half of your shit. Have fun.
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FaustoRMD 8y ago
Everybody said to you already the obvious thing, that you should run away and fast. Anyway, ending a relationship isn't easy and if you are in a position of relative inferiority your emotional system is going to make you her little bitch.
So, you have to gain power in this relationship: increase your SMV. Lift like there is no tomorrow, dread game (ffs, no more "you are damaging me psychologically" bullshit), and read and apply "Sex god method" so your girl can enjoy the sex again. Once you are again above her, there you can choose freely. Good luck.
Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 8y ago
I'm normally all about the "improve yourself and she'll get in line" school of thought, but this is bigger than that. I'm not worried about your relationship. I'm worried about you.
You're a decent guy, pretty young, with a decent job in a decent field, decent money, on the right path toward getting a degree and starting another. And you've spent the last however-long you've been with your fiance getting bitched at and emasculated about jobs and money, rebuked for sex, and your fiance is so comfortable with what a loser you are that she doesn't even bother hiding her disrespect for you. She's expressly said she's whoring herself to you for your paycheck. Having sex with you because she wants to and thinks you're a worthwhile guy to fuck? Pssshaw.
This goes beyond agree and amplify. Tell her to go fuck herself.
Break the engagement. Don't buy the house. Cancel the honeymoon and get back whatever money you can, or just go yourself, or go with someone else.
Awesomedrifter 8y ago
HAHAHA
Don't say that stuff.
Its pussy to be like "you put me down, I am hurt psychologically" never admit to having lost confidence.
Remember there's always next girl to do better with :)
bittr_n_swt 8y ago
i smell troll after seeing your replies in here..
you know what to do but you won't do it. Your choice but don't come running back when she divorce rape you. You've been warned
Johndoesmith67 8y ago
Please exit this relationship ASAP before the government and church are involved. I've seen, not lived but have seen your 5 year future. You think it's bad now just wait.
freebase1ca 8y ago
After being on this planet for a half century and being in a number of relationships I have naturally come to recognize certain red flags. Your fiancé has raised a huge one. We all need sex. It's inescapable. For her to use it as a bargaining chip is a huge, serious problem. You shouldn't feel guilty for wanting sex - or more sex with her. You need to question why she doesn't want more with you. Are you incompatible? Is she being influenced by the alpha males in the office?
It comes down to this: Anytime a woman feels she is doing you a favour by having sex with you, your going to have a bad time. It needs to be a two way street. You need a relationship where you're both doing each other the favour of having sex. She should be honoured that you would give her your attention.
Anyone who can deliver a home, wedding and a European honeymoon while being a student is doing way better than 99.99% of the population. More money won't fix anything - nothing should be broken. I would love to hear how she can justify even having the thought.
Sadly, I have to tell you that this situation is unfixable. There is no bargaining or change you can make that will fix it. You either have to come to terms with the fact that you will never have the amount of sex with her that you want or move on to someone else. In fact, things are only going to get worse. There are plenty of upcoming downward pressures such as:
Having babies/kids
You gaining weight at a desk job
You not being able to maintain the larger and larger homes you are forced to buy
You losing your hair from the stress of having to provide more than you are able (my hair came out in clumps the month after our huge wedding from the stress)
Her needing external validation as she starts to lose her looks
Understand that you will be facing this scenario in the future... You will suddenly get more sex - for a while. It might even be as amazing as daily adventurous sex but it won't last - maybe a week or a month. You'll feel great. But afterward you will look back and realize why it happened. Perhaps a reward for that last vacation or for the larger diamond. How will you feel then? Will you feel used and manipulated. How will you feel when you can't figure out what the trigger was? Chances are it was out of guilt for the guy at the office that she slept with. That guy she was mentioning a bit too often and then suddenly stopped mentioning at all... How will you feel then.
TRPhd 8y ago
It's too bad this comment is toward the bottom and a lot of guys who need to hear this will probably not see it. Damn.
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Luce_Bree 8y ago
DUDE GET THE FUCK OUT. NOW.
Everyone is telling you the same thing, but there's no indication that you'll listen.
Follow Tom Leykis' advice, and do NOT get into a relationship until you've become who you want to be. You're already on a great path in terms of education and job prospects. Chuck the lawyer, stay on that path, take care of yourself, boost your self-esteem, and then once you're the shit the pussy will come to YOU, and you won't know what you ever saw in your current CUNT.
But STEP ONE:
DUMP THAT BITCH. NOW.
Jax77789 8y ago
I went through law school. I remember the family law course. We could see the girls scheming as they jotted down notes. The basic rule here on TRP is to never marry, at least not under US law. I would never ever consider taking a woman lawyer or sollicitor as a wife.
To marry her, when she has also made it clear she is using you as a walking wallet, is like playing russian roulette with a 50 BMG machine-gun.
At 28 you have loads of options, pick any 20 something at the bars on saturday night and enjoy. Dump that bitch, bro.
NeoreactionSafe 8y ago
If a woman tells a man what to do she is leading.
If a man follows that woman he is a beta.
Beta is not a life worth living.
gopher_glitz 8y ago
Haha, wow. Abandon ship asap. If you don't, come back to this post and feel dumb for not listening after you get rekt.
gsfw2 8y ago
why the fuck would you marry this bitch smh
idgaf- 8y ago
I love it. How many ways can it be said to run like hell from a girl? They're all in this thread.
Tell her that after what she said, you can only see her as a whore, trading sex for money. And you can't live thinking you married a whore. Yeah that'll make sure you go out with as much damage as possible.
BenjiDread 8y ago
Funny thing is, she's openly stated that she's a whore. This guy is gonna be posting home made cuckold videos of his beautiful slutwife (but only if he starts making enough money for her to stay in the first place.)
TheRpPhilosopher 8y ago
Dude, I logged into this idle account just to tell you to RUN
Casanova-Quinn 8y ago
In the great words of Patrice O'Neal, "You have to be better than her!"
Now it doesn't necessary mean you have to make more money, but you have to make her think you're better overall. Look at Kevin Federline for example, he's basically a bum compared to Brittany Spears, but he still managed to seduce her.
I'll also echo what others are saying; do not marry this woman.
ramblemn 8y ago
Well, its good thing she signed that prenup.
[deleted] 8y ago
redpillbanana 8y ago
She's a lawyer? Time to speak her language.
"Tying our sex life to my salary is a deal-breaker. Let's move the discussion from wedding planning to how we can cancel the event and separate with minimal damage."
Klldarkness 8y ago
The moment he said anything close to this, she'd lay down the ultimate shit test. "You raped me."
Now he's fucked.
No, he needs to document everything, install cameras in his place, and THEN break up with her.
That way, when she flips shit, as its quite obvious she will, he can prove he didn't do shit.
newls 8y ago
If this is said with stoicism and no hesitation whatsoever you'd be able to pin-point the melting point where her face turns from stony serious to begging, pleading, and shaming. Then she'd behave.
steve70638 8y ago
"We are about to commit to richer or poorer, etc. but you have clearly said that it has to be richer. You are going into this agreement in bad faith because you are already planning to violate it."
stonepimpletilists 8y ago
much better than the 'run away' advice
at least this shows he has a spine, and will do better regardless of outcome
[deleted] 8y ago
Exactly. To me the fact that OP's fiance is a lawyer is inconsequential, because a woman does not need to be a lawyer to divorce-rape a man. The fact that she makes more money than he does actually makes it a lot harder for her to divorce-rape him, but that's not the point. This is a shit test plain and simple, he needs to A&A or otherwise deal with it.
"So you're raising your current rate to what, $250 an hour now? I think I can find better if I shop around a bit..."
Need_vagina_pix_nao 8y ago
I'd love to be a fly on the wall if OP actually said this to her.
mojo_juju 8y ago
Yeah, OP, can you please record this conversation?
Turn on your cell phone mic. Confront her. Post it on youtube, then post it here.
Plzkthx
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AlphaAccountant 8y ago
OP record it please! gets popcorn
Marcus_Fartrelius 8y ago
Better than his current "muh needs" chatter.
steelerfaninperu 8y ago
Allow me to join the chorus of people saying "RED ALERT, CODE 10 ABORT!"
Between two people, $120k+ is more than enough for a decent living unless you're stuck in a very high COL area like Orange County or NYC. If she isn't satisfied with that she's never going to be satisfied.
And this is why we never confess our weaknesses to a woman. Women pounce on weakness, they do not console it. They want their weaknesses to be comforted. They want you to kiss their boo-boo. The minute you flip it around is the minute they realize they can devour your intestines and shit you out.
[deleted] 8y ago
Get some fucking game. Who do you think you are saying things like this- "I said to her she put's me down to much and I think it is hurting me psychologically, I have lost so much confidence. I don't even feel confident about getting a higher paying job. I said we need more sex and I need a woman who I feel wants me"
uxl 8y ago
Forget about her, even if you don't dump her right now, and focus entirely on yourself:
Step 1: be attractive. Get lots of sleep, drink lots of water, lift lots weight, eat lots of healthy food, and run lots of miles - in that order (Source: lost 110lbs, 10" off waist, been fucked countless times, since)
Step 2: be alpha. Demand more of yourself in the workplace, in your career, in your path to fortune - and move, move, move (source: increased my income by 50%, nabbed a director role)
Step 3: be fun. Discover or feed a personal activity, preferably a sporty and masculine one, like rock climbing or kick-boxing. (Source: built a forge, started blacksmithing, feel like Hephaestus)
Step 4: be social. Go to parties, or join groups/events where you will meet new people and get invited to them, and use MALE friends who you trust for ALL your emotional outlets, venting, and any other potential loss of frame. (Source: used good friend as an outlet whenever I may otherwise have lost frame in my work/plate-spinning life, made friends in concert parking lots or on the floor between bands)
Step 5: be carefree. Now that you've followed steps 1-4, you can comfortably not give a fuck - about your wife or anyone/anything else. And you know what? Only might you be in a position where you can rationally decide whether this marriage is worth saving. (Source: for the first time in my life, I feel free)
You MUST follow these steps, and if you feel that you cannot, get out now, as it will only get much, much, much worse. (Source: went through divorce after finding RP too late)
If you bail after following these steps (and continue following them) you WILL find happiness and satisfaction. (Source: just had my first - and certainly not last - threesome, and feel stronger and more satisfied than at any point in my BP life)
UniversalFapture 8y ago
HOLY SHIT DUDE!
Jesus, these benefits far outweigh the constant bull crap I'm dealing with.
Expect a PM.
IliadsTangent 8y ago
Drop this broad like a cell phone call in a tunnel, now.
I take no pleasure in saying this ; your fiancee is already banging someone else. Women operate on a very specific principle when it comes to money: if her man makes equal or less then she does, she rounds to zero.
As far as your fiancee is concerned you're a leech who makes nothing, because she brings more to the table then you do.This is not merely my own conclusion- scientific surveys of women in relationships always find that women correlate money with relationship security. The more money her man makes the more secure and thus greater emotion she has.
Given that the primary reason women date is money, this spells bad news for you. Further, unless she's taken a vow of celibacy, process of elimination and logic suggests if she's not getting off with you she is doing so with someone else.
She also works in law, and went to private school. Rest assured she's got some backup man(men?!) In her phonebook who makes more then you do; I'm wagering she's only hanging around because of the European honeymoon, the pending Real Estate purchase, and the marriage.
She wont kick you to the curb yet, because in sticking around she gets social status (I'm.getting married!!!!5000 Facebook likes!!!!!) and the fact she gets a house and a European vacation.
Think we're just a bunch of kooks on the internet? OK. This is an easy one to prove. Walk through your door and tell your fiancee there's a delay in the honeymoon and house purchase due to a paperwork issue.
Watch her reaction. If she really loves you, she won't care.Love is all you need, can't buy affection, and so forth correct?
If she's like every other woman alive, shell turn cold and/or start a fight immediately. If the latter happens, there's your answer. A stop at the liquor store may be in order before doing this .
Remember; no man here, myself included, can say we've never made errors where women are concerned. All men fall to crafty females in some way . It's the question of how you get back up which decides your future.
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Muddpup64 8y ago
I have yet to finish reading your comment (prolly eat it later on for doing so). I have seen LTR's that work out when the women makes more money but the woman is usually a special breed (not just your average AWALT street whore) and the man WELL makes up for it by being INTERESTING!. (We're talking like 110,000 compared to 100,000.) Dread game out the ass pretty much keeps her in check.
But ya, she kind of a gold digger. Sorry, get rid of her.
mobmac 8y ago
I like the test, but don't go in drinking. That'll be used against you if she escalated to cops.
widec 8y ago
That's a great test. Man have to start testing women to see if they're worthy of their time and affection, just like they test us for our strength.
[deleted] 8y ago
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mojo_juju 8y ago
You can polish a turd, but you can't make it shine.
Dojolow 8y ago
You know, now that I think about it. 8 Months of this bullShit with the knowledge here and he still can't figure This shit out.
I'd say he just marry the bitch then. If he can't learn through us telling him and all the resources around, then he needs to learn through experience. He should have dropped her 8 months ago. but didn't, at this point, I'd say let him wreck himself, hell maybe the mods should ban him until he breaks it off with her, and if he doesn't he just gets permanently banned. Kind of like what you do when a student fails test, does no homework and gets F's in all subject, He gets expelled from the school (University). This student (OP) needs to be expelled until he shows improvement/willingness to learn and work.
Phroneo 8y ago
The stuck up rich girls that come to Australia from China are best avoided. At least after a few bangs. They have no hobbies or passions except making money, buying $6k handbags and generally climbing their bs self centered social ladder.
If that's her, I'd not only dump this bitch, but do it in the most emotionally destructive way possible. She cares for no one but herself. Only a loser stays with that...
1v1mebruh 8y ago
Just went through his past posts, it's like watching a trainwreck in slow motion. This fool doesn't value his own life enough to do more than whine.
_eskimo_brothers_ 8y ago
Sigh. H42 is spot on.
OP - Since Star Wars is all over the place, let me make this pop culture related. "You're going down a path we can't follow."
You are not practicing what you preach (by visiting TRP and telling others to). You're a gallon of ice cream and she's already started feeding off of you with large scoops. If you want to be a sticky, empty, shell of what you once were, continue on this path. She's going to eat you alive. You are not respected, and you are not the man right now to turn her around. You are not standing up for yourself, and you are not leading her. The issue here is, it's very hard to turn a relationship around when you are currently a quivering beta and you're doing a shit job at being the man. You are not squashing shit tests. You are asking for more sex, this never ever gets you more sex.
You'd be better off bugging out of this situation now in my opinion. Even if you could turn it around, have you thought if you'd actually be happy? AWALT, but you're dealing with a rather toxic person to start with, is it even worth it? You've been told what to do for 8 months? Get the fuck out and rebuild yourself.
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Danedina 8y ago
thanks for doing the legwork. This guy doesn't deserve any more of our time.
SarsaparillaCorona 8y ago
Oh gosh, this guy again? Every time I read about him the train wreck gets more and more gruesome.
Please OP, don't marry this witch.
trpdgc 8y ago
At this point, let him marry her and be done with it. Some day he'll fucking learn
Marcus_Fartrelius 8y ago
She isn't a witch at all. If a decent chick came up and offered you sex whenever you wanted, at minimal emotional or time cost - would you accept? Of course you would. Does that make you a slut abuser? Sure doesn't in my eyes.
If OP is offering money and emotional validation for being treated like any common man she would meet on the street - that is on him, and him alone - for he has the choice of separating, and has had it since the relationship started. He has had the choice of leaving her, he has had the choice of doing something for himself that would net him a loyal, hot and intelligent partner (This secret process Is called working your ass of in the gym, creating your own business, studying dilligently and working on your social skills and network since the moment you realised they were lacking).
OP apparently decided to do none of these, evident in her lack of respect for him.
Not everybody is suited to be RP, don't try to help the losers who only jumped to TRP for their own emotional masturbation on how "Evil" women are, and not the process of learning how to make them "good" for you (Dread game, understanding male-female bonding and increasing your confidence and self-worth).
SarsaparillaCorona 8y ago
I completely agree, but at this point playing into that narrative might be the only way to save him.
Oh well.
Marcus_Fartrelius 8y ago
Sometimes the lives of others sadden me and motivate me at the same time.
SarsaparillaCorona 8y ago
Even when it's so, so easy, not everyone can be saved.
SteveChiefy 8y ago
Get away from her and don't ever stop like you're running from the cops. Read the dudes post about her working in law. You are fucked man. Take back all emotional investment, this Bitch is about to ruin your soul. You can learn how this goes the easy way or the hard way. The hardway will take away 5-10 years of your life and then some if she for after your money or gets pregnant.
its-iceman 8y ago
This should really be in askMRP.
Why are you buying property and going to Europe if your finances are stretched thin? Why are you buying property with a woman who isn't your wife?
Sweet, now we know who is in charge in this relationship. You need to stop talking so much and vomiting your feelings all over her chest.
Is this your first day here? Why are you having this conversation with her? She's saying this because she wants you to be a man and lead her. You're being a beta and reacting to her feelings with your emotions.
You realize that having IT certifications, but no appreciable skills doesn't mean you're going to climb the ladder in this industry right? It's almost all about work experience and your skill set. Certifications and an MBA won't mean shit.
I made about $60k when I was 25, and $250k at 29. It's all about risks and "what have you done lately" not "let me see your degrees". I haven't shown anyone a resume in about three years.
You need to take a hard look and handle at both your relationship and your career here dude. Come on over to MRP and read the sidebar materials. If you're going to go down this road with this woman, you're going to need a lot of help.
skulk2fade 8y ago
Thanks for the feedback, how did you go from 60k to 250k?
its-iceman 8y ago
Stopped working in house and went out on my own. Hustled my ass off selling and building a client base. Now I have a couple employees and still hustling. Terrifying but totally rewarding.
Beegsi_ 8y ago
Men are still trying to get married in the west. Wft is this? Dude prepare to be divorced raped and cheated on if you get married in this climate.
WendigoWood 8y ago
^ THAT ALONE is sufficient reason, to say nothing of what he has said about his specific situation. This chick sounds like a piranha, honestly.
I have made a lot of mistakes in my life but I was never trusting enough to marry one of the many harpies I've dated over the years so my situation is orders of magnitude better than the guys who did.
cant_hold_me_down 8y ago
ABANDON SHIP!!!
It's not too late to get the fuck out of there. Don't ruin your life.
0io- 8y ago
Married guy here. OP. Run! Everyone is telling you the truth.
You have a face-saving move here. She tells you you don't make enough money for sex. You told her you need sex. Just tell her you thought about things and she's right and she will slow down your career right now. You don't feel good about having sex with her since she doesn't desire you and you're going to have sex with someone who does. Say that she'll probably make some rich guy very happy some day and you're sorry that it didn't work out.
AND THEN RUN!!!
You've already had the real honeymoon. You got all of the sex you are going to get from her for the rest of your life. Now she thinks she owns you and you're about to become the plow horse in the Manipulated Man, her Beta Bux.
Please read what people are telling you here.
When someone like this has shown you who she really is, believe her!
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JeanValjean197o 8y ago
I'm not going to tell you that you should break it off. You've made your decision and only you can decide what to do.
However, your self-esteem is your problem. It comes from within you and external things like getting your dick wet should have no bearing on it.
You can and must turn this around if you want to have a happy and successful marriage. That starts with you getting your ass to the gym. It starts with you building your self up in a way that is independent of how someone else, including your fiance feels about you.
You are educated, make more money than most people in the US and deserve to be treated better.
Next time you want to have sex tell your fiance before you go to work that tonight you are both going to get it on.
She'll say something like, "No. I don't think so."
You say, "We'll see," with a wink and a smile.
That night you come home and if she's not ready to fuck you then you change you clothes and go out with friends or go to the gym or go watch Star Wars by yourself. You leave her in the home to stew by herself while you go out and hang with people who want to be with you.
She needs to know she can't control you with that pussy. If she wants you around then she has an obligation to meet your needs. If she doesn't want to meet your needs then you will get validation and companionship with your buddies or spend your time doing things that make you happy rather than being with someone who thinks you are a second class citizen.
You don't tell her your reasoning. It is enough that you suddenly develop an outside life that she is not part of and not welcome in. You don't have to threaten her or point out that whenever she refuses you that you are going to leave and do something else.
You just do it.
You don't get pissy and ask, "Why aren't we having sex?", because You Don't Give A Fuck. Fucking her is something you want but it isn't the only thing you want and not even the best thing you want.
If she refuses ever again then simply say, "That's cool babe. I'm not hungry so I'm going to go to the gym and afterwards have a beer with my college friends. Don't wait up for me. Love ya'. Bye."
In psychology this is called "extinction". https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extinction_%28psychology%29
She knows that sex is the way to control the relationship and by denying you sex she intuits that she can get you to work harder and give her more. She is training you like a Pavlovian dog to salivate every time she rings a bell.
She may not and probably doesn't know she's doing this. It's a learned behavior and she probably got it from watching her mother and father interact.
Extinction means you don't give her the desired response. You give her nothing. That is, you leave and there is an absence of interaction.
If you were to get angry and fight or threaten or break something then that would be somewhere along the lines of "punishment" which is another conditioning method.
You don't want to punish because that damages the relationship. But extinction by leaving and doing something else instead is more subtle and has fewer negative potentials.
That said, I want to caution you. A woman will marry the man she wants and then convince him to work harder and harder. Then one day she divorces him because he spends all his time at work and she doesn't even know him anymore.
That's where you wife is going to drive you if you let her. Find a balance between your work, your marriage, and yourself. If you don't you will create self-esteem issues within yourself. When that happens she will move to fill the power vacuum when you become weaker with self-esteem problems.
And she will hate you for it. Sooner or later she will realize you are weak and she is strong and then it's divorce time.
And I know this is already mentioned but you have to have your head checked for marrying a lawyer. I hope you've got a good prenuptial and have agreed to split all expenses 50/50.
In fact, if you propose this now it will probably mitigate her problems with how much money you make. The reasoning is that if you make more then she gets more. But if you split everything then when you make more that's your money (after family expenses). She gains nothing if you make more because that's your money. Therefore, psychologically her pussy won't shut down.
Why? Because you have all this money that she doesn't get but still wants to get ahold of. If you reward her every time she fucks you like crazy with a little gift or a new pair of shoes then you are now "rewarding" good behavior. Since it's your money and she can't feel entitled to it then to her this is all gravy and a good relationship.
Or put another way. A man can't be generous when generosity is compelled. By marrying she already owns you. That was your choice and not a good one by the way. Therefore, she feels entitled to your money and therefore you really have no leverage.
If you buy her gifts with your income then that's nice but techically she's entitled so it's nothing she has to reciprocate.
If you buy her gift's with your income and you both have separate finances and keep the extra after marital expenses then that is you being generous. It is extra and she is compelled to be appreciative to you.
[deleted] 8y ago
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JeanValjean197o 8y ago
I agree, but you can't tell someone who is in love that they shouldn't marry the person they are engaged to.
More often than not this will cause them to strengthen their position.
If I were in his position and a woman said that to me I would know right then and there that she didn't love me. That I was just a human wallet and would always be judged by how much I made rather than my innate humanity.
And I would have dumped her and broken off the marriage.
But love makes people stupid and stupid people are incapable of following good advice.
angryomlette 8y ago
Anyone who cant give you your worth is not worth it. And making more money will not help you much if you continue your relationship with her. Since you've taken redpill already and know the stuff from this forum, sit back cool your mind and decide what you wanna do. All the best for your decision.
stealthcreeper 8y ago
wtf don't marry her
you should know that
AWALT = never marry
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Crimsonman0 8y ago
What you're seeing here is a red flag the size of a galaxy, call off the marriage and cut her off, she's going to say that she's sorry and that she loves but don't believe that shit, just fucking leave.
Rodion-Raskolnikov 8y ago
Everybody is telling you to drop this bitch and they are right. If it takes over a thousand replies in this thread to get the message through so be it.
Borsao66 8y ago
Lawyers are also on my lists of don't date/fuck.
These are women who chose a profession based on adversarial dynamics and will bring that attitude home to the relationship.
32643264 8y ago
Game over. This bitch has weaponized her sexuality. Cut and run. Anytime a woman uses her sexuality as a utility she is not worth it. Ever heard any married person say "im having way more sex now that im married". yeah, me neither.
Good luck
Phroneo 8y ago
Actually, I have some friends who married girls with very strict church pastor parents. Pretty sure they had more sex after they married and were allowed to stay together.
Obviously won't last though lol
2MuchButter 8y ago
That is a red flag the size of fucking mars. It's not worth it, take the L now and save yourself years of sexless unhappiness before getting reamed for all the rest of your assets and dignity by her law firm.
EGOtyst 8y ago
I am married. I understand what it takes to remain married.
Do NOT, under any circumstances, marry this woman. Do NOT buy into the sink cost fallacy. If your parents seem disappointed, just tell them what she said.
That is the largest red flag I can think of.
And most travel places and wedding venues well give you some of the money back.
Honeymoon already paid for and you can't get a refund? Bring your dad/brother and have a fine fucking time.
Do NOT tie yourself to a woman who only fucks you for money. There is a word for those kinds of women...
[deleted] 8y ago
Wow, you are in SERIOUS trouble. You MUST dump this woman immediately. Even though red pill says a woman can't love you, she can love the way you make her feel. If she is already treating you like this then if you get married you are screwed. She is going to make your life hell. Even if you are crazy enough to ignore the first commandment of red pill "NEVER GET MARRIED", then for god's sake do not marry her.
She is a lawyer!! I am also a lawyer and let me tell you some things. Even if she does not have the skills to fuck you over legally, she works with people every day who do have the skills. She is surrounded by people who know people, who know other people, who can refer her to other people etc - you get my meaning. she has tried to make you fell small and force you to be a beta bux. She will cheat and make you into the bad guy. Run my friend, run. I am begging you.
Jttoo 8y ago
Fucking WoW....
Classic BP man-rape hamstering unfolding before our eyes....
I'm relatively new here, but holy shit is this something to see. With all the red flags waving in this guy's face, he still wants to walk that isle and shackle himself to misery.
destinypallooker 8y ago
If she's already talking like this before marriage, you're in for a lot of pain. Never get married.
ImHereAtLast 8y ago
So... Please explain to the class what exactly possessed you when deciding that you were going to marry this woman? Why would you legally bind yourself to someone who has clearly and unambiguously admitted that she views sex as a transaction, a reward?
DracoPhage 8y ago
Hey buddy, you're in danger. You may not think so, but you are.
You've likely been raised a certain way. To think that marriage is the be all and end all for a man. It's not.
Here's the choice: believe your instincts and act in your own self interest or marry this woman and become her slave.
Something drove you to post here. You know what you have to do. Your ancestors, the men who fought and bred and died so you could be here are watching.
Are you going to disappoint them?
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RedPillDan 8y ago
Don't do it man. Don't get married. Inform her that sex is not power, it's a requirement for being with you. No sex = no relationship.
Then when she looses her shit over this, you stay calm no matter what. Respond simply "This is not an argument, you can leave if you don't like it"
Whatever you do; do not get married. This is your power. When her hamster starts going crazy after you find your balls, you can cut her off at the knees by revoking the proposal.
Always stay calm. The less happy you are, the less committed you are. Don't be emotional about it. DON'T GET MARRIED.
And if I have to say it again.. DO NOT GET MARRIED.
EdmondDaunts 8y ago
My friend, she is correct. You must do more.
Just not with her in your life.
great_artists_steal 8y ago
Your fiancé or your prostitute?
UrsusG 8y ago
They're all prostitutes (and that's a good thing).
Some are cash-in-hand prostitutes, some are time/effort prostitutes, some are status prostitutes, some are 'half your assets 5 years from now' prostitutes.
Bottom line is, you always pay. You can switch currencies, but you always pay.
Oh, and the cash-in-hand ones are the most honest ones. I sincerely recommend.
antariusz 8y ago
You give good advice, but my own preference is to the honest status prostitutes. My current relationship is with a 20 year old already in a doctoral program in a family full of doctors. That doesn't mean that cash-in-hand prostitutes don't have their place, but status doesn't "go away" when she is fucking you for it, the cash, once given, is lost forever. As long as you're not lowering your own status by being associated with a girl (bringing a hoodrat to the yacht club), there is no downside to a status prostitute.
She even talks about it as one of the reasons she likes me (once you translate from womanese, she will use codes like my family really likes you; or our children would be both intelligent and attractive). As long as you're ok with being used to satisfy her hypergamy, and you're a high enough value man, that you don't fear her branch swinging (and if she does you wouldn't care), you might end up in a similar situation to myself, but yea, the OP is NOT in that situation, his fiance is going to be surrounded by much more alpha dominant men all day long, and their marriage is already toast before it even began.
TRPhd 8y ago
This is the big one. The family knows very little about you, so if they approve of you it is ordinarily based on rather shallow criteria. If you have status to give and are a reasonably affable human being around the holidays, and if she's not using make-up to cover up Irish sunglasses on a regular basis, they will likely be on your side. Their approval means everything to a status-conscious female, because social survival network.
That doesn't mean status whores won't fuck around on you if you slip up; they absolutely will. AWALT. But it will create a larger barrier to actually leave you so long as your status remains high.
MoneyStatusLooks 8y ago
What a terrible thing to say.
Sex is non negotiable in a relationship. It's the product of attraction. There is no attraction here.
In all honesty, I dont think I could date, let alone marry someone who said anything close to that.
Stories_of_Red 8y ago
If you marry this woman, do not ever blame her for what happens later. She just told you EVERYTHING you need to know about her and her feelings about you. You got more warning than most guys.
NoFapDestiny 8y ago
That phrase sent shivers down my spine.
OP - You have been warned.
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Manuel_S 8y ago
Exactly this.
Besides she's a lawyer. She'll be able to rip your guts off on divorce.
Please keep us posted, if you do commit the deed have the courage to tell us - we will respect that courage, if not the stupidity - and we'll still be here when you return to the market.
ransay3277 8y ago
And to top it off, she's an attorney! This guy is going to get soooo divorce raped! I bet she puts broken glass in the Vaseline.
External12 8y ago
Looking through his comments, he is getting married in less than 2 months and not calling it off.
8n0n 8y ago
Expecting epic schadenfreude for the divorce.
bluehorseinvincible 8y ago
Preach! +1
And she's a lawyer? Prepare to be making no money when she divorces you and takes everything.
trp_dude 8y ago
You're confusing the issue. Money = beta. She sees you as a beta...because you are. WTF are you doing telling her your feelings? Feelz = beta.
More money does not lead to more sex. Period.
I will tell you what will happen. Sex will stop after you have the number of children she wants. This is because she's marrying you to get herself a provider. She's not attracted to you. Hard truth. If she were, she wouldn't even know how much you make much less care.
She will then have an affair.
Then she will divorce rape you.
Rinse and repeat.
ho-li-fuk 8y ago
More like...
What the fuck are you doing getting married?!
OP, cancel the wedding. You've been warned.
Derbi50 8y ago
"WTF are you doing telling her your feelings? Feelz = beta."
Thats what I was going to say.
This short post gives us a very clear picture of what is wrong, and why.
crackalot 8y ago
As always, the problem is the man. The woman is simply a reflection of him.
cptspiffy 8y ago
Seriously. My wife didn't start this shit until year 5 when she had a couple of tiny hostages to hold against me. If he's already seeing this shit before even getting married? Hell, I can't even imagine what a harridan she will become once she gets that ring.
Run.
Vasallo7G 8y ago
word..
today society and big cities in general are a "Whore Paradise" devices to showcase her bodies at their fingertips to dozens even hundreds of men, husbands stuck in high stress jobs 12 hrs a day, a vehicle, money, business that keep the kids entertained and motels. What else could be missing?
luciansolaris 8y ago
A dishwasher to replace the kitchen sink with...
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idontknowwhyidoit123 8y ago
I was thinking the same thing. Women like this make me sick, but men putting up with it makes it worse. Maybe that's why it always looked down on beta men. My husband would've hit the road a long time ago if I ever pulled shit like that.
I've been married 24yrs and make the largest portion of our income. Husband has a job he loves but makes very little, however it makes him happy which in turn makes me happy. I can't imagine EVER telling him he'd get more sex if he made more money. WTF kind of thing is that to say to someone. Anyone who makes a connection between income and sex doesn't need to be married. She needs to be an escort.
EDIT: Removed unintentional sub violation "as a woman". Didn't mean to cause an issue. Oh and thanks for the info on the RPW sub. I had no idea there was one.
cashmoney_x 8y ago
Did you really have to chime in just to tell us you're not like the others?
akrebsie 8y ago
Lol at the mess below your comment, seems like most of these kids never heard of rpw
Janus_Fawkes 8y ago
Good post, drop the gender attention. Good to see an rpwoman, but ideas matter here, not genitals.
makethemsayayy 8y ago
Well no genitals matter a little bit, it's male sexuality strategy. I think we'd all prefer to have a small contribution from women, preferably seldom.
vengefully_yours 8y ago
In the future, drop the "as a woman" thing. No need to call attention to the fact you have tits. We can figure it out without it being bandied about.
However, what you said is the right attitude to have. There's a few girls like that left in our generation, but get younger than we are and the entitlement takes over. Single 40+ girls obviously make bad choices, if they didn't they wouldn't be single.
Woosah_Motherfuckers 8y ago
There are some of the old crowd left, although maybe it was just the deep religious upbringing where no one talked about their feelings unless they were screaming. I know everyone all "be a rock forever" but I think they're one of the best litmus tests out there: you can tell a lot about a woman based on how she reacts when you tell her she's hurt you.
Feelz from my husband are the best thing ever, I'm honored to have them shared with me. What OP describes...jeez, it's almost worse than a covert contact, she's just cutting his balls off directly without even trying to hamster her way out of admitting it.
vengefully_yours 8y ago
Agreed. I learned the hard way not to share feelings, every time I did the girl would bail on me. If a girl did what the one in the story did, she would be give right then and there.
It's sad that most girls won't stick around if you share with them.
[deleted] 8y ago
Get the fuck off this board, attention whore.
fitnesstested 8y ago
Drop the as a woman part of your comment. Its a Tits or GTFO posting rule violation.
Which is more likely to discredit your input around here than anything else.
[deleted] 8y ago
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Dr_Nikk 8y ago
Are you kidding me? TRP is for everyone.
unmeilleurmoi 8y ago
Because women love invading male spaces.
SgtBrutalisk 8y ago
As a man, I agree with your observation.
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shelcod 8y ago
Because she knows this sub is right. Having women on here will also help discredit us as sexist.
[deleted] 8y ago
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shelcod 8y ago
I'm not letting her gender change my views. There are many things I disagree with in her post. All I'm saying is that the red pill mindset will never catch on if half the population thinks we are sexist and terrible people.
Woosah_Motherfuckers 8y ago
Nah, you're not sexist, just angry. I think most women are looking for a combination alpha/beta. We want the alpha in public and to other people but the beta to come out in tenderness and consideration once in a while, around ourselves and family.
qiang_shi 8y ago
who says we want it to catch on?
JihadDerp 8y ago
The red pill isn't about getting favor with the mainstream. It's about telling the truth regardless of how harsh or politically incorrect.
InscrutablePUA 8y ago
We are sexist, and that's not a bad thing. You need more unplugging.
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slay_it_forward 8y ago
It's called beta bucks and happens all the time. Welcome to trp. You have a lot of learning to do.
exit_sandman 8y ago
I concur.
Hey, basically all the ECs in here are saying the same thing.
JP_Whoregan 8y ago
I haven't seen a unification of the Olde Guard like this in a while around here. If OP still goes through with the wedding, he dare not step foot back in here lest he be slaughtered for the cause. He has the warnings from the harlot, he has the advice from the brotherhood. He needs no more to make a rational decision.
[deleted] 8y ago
Yet my money is that he hamsters it all away because he has no abundance
vandaalen 8y ago
Yep.
[deleted] 8y ago
+1
I wish I had a friend like you when I was engaged
Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 8y ago
I wasted a few extra minutes typing out a longer comment when I should have typed these two lines right here.
sodainthewatercup6 8y ago
More people are willing to read the short comments.
I would explain, but more will read this if I don't.
JP_Whoregan 8y ago
Ditto. This should actually be the top comment, and if we had more seasoned members still active, I think it would be. It is a fools errand to acknowledge that women lack agency on one hand and then expect agency from them on the other. It's like handing a Sharpie to a 6 year old and then getting mad at him when he draws all over your walls.
MMZephyr 8y ago
I'm here 22 days later, and it's the top comment. Cheers.
GuidoBandito 8y ago
Aaaaand 1000+ and counting.
I too agree that all future endeavors with this woman have been laid clear with just that one sentence. He should abandon the marriage and take that honeymoon trip to enjoy not being with her.
PemBayliss 8y ago
Count this EC's full agreement in the comments here.
He needs to end this now. She has just laid her brain and heart bare. Sex in the context of his relationship with her is purely transactional. He should consider himself lucky. He should break up with her, pay for the honeymoon, help defray nonrefundable wedding/reception costs, and consider it all as getting out cheap.
skulk2fade 8y ago
I got berated last by her sister because apparently I am lazy around the house, neither of them appreciate anything I do -_-
i2amahandmodel 8y ago
Dude, tell her she is right, that you will be getting laid more when you are making more money, but none of that sex will be with her.
UrsusG 8y ago
Upvoted for great observation.
She practically told you in plain speak who she is. You should consider it a favor on her part.
red-pill-questions 8y ago
My ex was pretty obvious like this as well. She told her current bf who was an orbiter ready to let her cry on hos shoulder when i dumped her that "i am only with you for your future earning potential". Meanwhile, she's keeping her options open by chatting up all her exes.
[deleted] 8y ago
spoiler alert - theyre all like this. awalt
UrsusG 8y ago
Yes, but most apply more layers of bullshit, making it even harder to discern the truth.
This one was pretty frank with her guy.
[deleted] 8y ago
yeah for sure. its like the enemy showing u a minefield sign as youre about to cross and this dudes just like "sure ill keep going"... crazy
trp_dude 8y ago
No, she told him in plainspeak what HE is. Beta. We already know what she is. A woman, no different from others. AWALT.
WendigoWood 8y ago
Actually no, believe it or not they aren't all completely mercenary golddigging lunatics.
The problem is, like the other dude said, he got much more warning than most guys and it can be next to impossible to tell who you're dealing with unless it's too late.
I think total avoidance of marriage is a great first step and absolutely necessary for personal security these days, you just can't trust these bitches nowadays, not enough to put your wallet on the chopping block that way while they give nothing in return. It's just financial suicide and I actually think that the power differential post-marriage is what has destroyed marriage in modern times. Women know that they have total control and they just aren't happy.
Transmigratory 8y ago
Didn't he admit to being a beta by saying he gets hurt by her put downs etc?
old-path 8y ago
no, he admited it by giving a woman more then D in the first place. a females job is to do as little as possible from spreading her legs sometimes in return for unconditional loyalty and financial support. No point unless there is a prenump, most assets hidden overseas, and her ability to raise kids.
mrthrowaway413 8y ago
Yeah his response was very beta. In an LTR, you're supposed to act beta, but in the right way. This was not the right way.
AWALT for sure, but it's clear this woman is not marrying material.
Mistakes were obviously made beforehand, probably many
lycanthr0py 8y ago
You don't act beta, you are just loving and warm while being alpha.
mrthrowaway413 8y ago
I should have been clearer. You show some beta traits, like being love and warming, periodically and take it away when necessary.
dragonfangxl 8y ago
What would be the right response to something like that?
tedcase 8y ago
It's been fun. Dont let the door hit you on the way out.
redpillliger 8y ago
Leave. If I were him, that woman would not be my fiancee anymore.
Really, this should be tagged as a blue pill example, because there's no theory here at all, just a man in a relationship slated for failure or pain on his side. I would never dream of telling my wife that she's able to affect my mental state, even if it were true. Withdrawing affection and dread game work wonders in nipping disrespect like that in the bud.
Also, when your LTR starts weaponizing sex before you're even married, you know you're a BB. My wife attempted that once and I told her if she ever dreamed of using sex as a weapon again she'd be on the street before she should even say "sorry" then went to the gym. It's never happened again
EDIT: I see this has been retagged. Thanks, mods
Dojolow 8y ago
This. OP needs to leave asap. Then read and apply the sidebar.(if he was doing that he wouldnt be in this situation in the first place)
If he doesn't, after having all this knowledge that men his age would have KILLED to have ten years ago, then he deserves everything that's coming to him. Sometimes it takes experience to teach.
thefisherman1961 8y ago
Yep, all failed relationships I've observed are men displaying the wrong alpha traits and the wrong beta traits. One of my friends' relationships failed because he is a cuckold who gets off to his wife fucking other men (too beta) and because he is autistic so he has absolutely no intimacy with her (too alpha).
TRPhd 8y ago
Nah, lawyers are a little different... they're worse.
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don_pel 8y ago
Man, you are talking too much.
She must have had the tingles after that.
Dude.... you can not negotiate desire
Work on yourself, lift, and stop talking about your feelings with her before you dry out her vagina for good.
[deleted] 8y ago
Dump her you dumb idiot what the fuck
AOF_Semiramis 8y ago
Anyone wanna point OP to a hooker? He needs one to bash a pussy pedestal & getting an escort is one of the brain-dead easy baby steps to do that.
Look,here in TRP & other sites that make up the Manosphere,we give enough of a fuck about our bros to not get ass-raped by Divorce Rape & Alimony Rape.
What you see right now is just a preview of what's to come.This will only get WORSE.Not an exageration,not a joke,but literally it will get worse. Once your chained by the ring,she can cheat as much as she wants and(especially so since she's a lawyer),she'll know EXACTLY how to rape you financially in the courts while having dead bedroom. Suicide or fleeing to another country is one of the few options you'd have when your trapped.
Don't be mad at her btw,since your lucky enough that she admits that BEFORE you married her.
When the others in the Manosphere warn you to RUN.LIKE.HELL. You do it.
The_Red_Paw 8y ago
Dude, I hate to have to say this, but do NOT marry this woman. Do not date this woman. Do not call this woman. Do not answer her calls.
Biggest mistake of your life, unfolding right before our eyes.
[deleted] 8y ago
What's wrong with dating her and trading up when she hits the wall
The_Red_Paw 8y ago
He's already in too deep. Financially, emotionally, and legally. All he can do now is run for his life. The next guy can plate her, but not him.
OP needs monk mode, a dog, and a gym membership.
[deleted] 8y ago
nah, I think OP can still plate her. She'll be furious when he ditches her when she turns 30, but whatever. When war happens, you don't declare war. You start sending spies and start fighting without telling the other person you've started.
rossiFan 8y ago
OP had better update us saying that he's done exactly this, or we will have to hunt him down and beat some sense into him.
rpscrote 8y ago
he's not going to update because he's clearly beta and he's in all likelihood going to beta bitch out. If he's telling a woman "you psychologically hurt me" there's no way he's got the strength of character to do what he knows in his heart needs to be done.
OP: I hope I piss you off and give you the motivation to do it.
rossiFan 8y ago
I agree. But, since he's on TRP, he might have a 5% chance.
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stonepimpletilists 8y ago
Girls don't want a weak man, keep that shit to yourself, or go tell your guy friends. This is why you aren't getting laid. She's done nothing but tell you what you needed to hear.
I don't date a bitch, but I can't say that, so I'll make up a bullshit excuse about money.
Also, the guys are on point about the lawyer bit, but their 'cut tail and run' approach is a pretty bitch move also. she won't need the money if she is half way competent, she will need an alpha in the house. An alpha doesn't get psychologically damaged when a little girl runs her mouth. An alpha puts the little girl in her place and runs the fucking household.
I know the theme here is 'Women are shit' but in reality, it's 'women are as shitty as you let them be'
This is on you man.
TRPhd 8y ago
Only sane response to a rigged high-stakes game is not to play. Call that a "bitch move" if you want, but that's not the case. Some women are for marrying and some for fucking, and this bitch is the latter at best.
[deleted] 8y ago
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stonepimpletilists 8y ago
How many lawyers have you married? How many friends do you know with ballbuster wives? I'll throw up the bluepillprofessors story, and as many examples from my old sailor buddies and their officer wives as you want. communicators tend to wife em up fairly often
I could give two shits what femenism told you, If she pushes back too hard when he's handling his shit, of course, cut her loose. But that isn't ops problem, being a pushover... is.
No reason to run because being a man is hard. The man he is now isn't equipped to make that decision anyways, defer it to the new, improved alpha man that he will be. let that guy decide what to include in his life. Besides, she will out earn him soon, chances are financially he will be just fine in a divorce
[deleted] 8y ago
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stonepimpletilists 8y ago
why respect a weak man.
We clearly agree on the crux here, OP is a bitcha nd needs to man up. we only disagree on what path we would take
you do you.
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stonepimpletilists 8y ago
I'll compare my contributions to the manosphere over yours, any time you like there cupcake.
tourists...
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verify_account 8y ago
Putting aside the fact that marriage is just stupid these days (I know, your unicorn is different) I agree with you. But OP isn't ready to be that alpha yet. He cannot rise to the challenge without hard work and training. We gotta get this kid out of the ring.
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BenjiDread 8y ago
Absolutely this. When I discovered RP a few months ago, I was in a bad breakup of a 5-year cohabitation which sounds eerily similar to the one OP describes. She was naturally more aggressive than I am, but in my BP state there was no way I would be able to rise above my current submissive state and surpass her dominant mindset while living in the situation.
As hurtful as it was I made the decision to break my own heart and move the fuck out. In an epiphany of rationality I knew that there would be no possible chance of being happy if I didn't do it.
OP needs to understand that the memories and little morsels of pleasure or happiness that he clings to in the relationship are going to be less and less frequent until she started to actively despise you.
No amount of trying will make it any better and IT WILL NEVER CHANGE!!! OP can either figure it out like me after years of having his self worth ground to powder, or he can listen to the countless men who have paid the price already.
But if there is to be ANY chance whatsoever for repairing this relationship (which I don't recommend) he still needs to leave and go full RP.
In my case, I left and within a week she offered me sex. I refused. I realized that after trying so hard to win her love and affection, it simply wasn't worth the price.
This woman will NEVER make him happy even if he does somehow become alpha enough for her to be attracted to him. And by the time he does that, he won't want her anymore anyway.
END IT TODAY AND NEVER SPEAK TO HER AGAIN OP!
It'll be the worst emotional pain of your life but it'll be the best decision you ever made. You will come out of it stronger.
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VasiliyZaitzev 8y ago
This.
The danger is that she had a couple of kids, her income drops and then she divorce rapes her worker bee engineer husband who will then get 'punished' by the court for working, saving and being a good citizen.
And "BOOM!" goes the dynamite!
/u/skulk2fade you have some shit to figure out. First, you need to reconsider your relationship with this woman. Second, you need to harden the fuck up, third, if you do stay with her, you need to google '12 levels of dread'. Although really, it's likely better to start over with a different chick who is less defective.
stonepimpletilists 8y ago
I dont' think she is, to be honest. She's an alpha personality, and probably hasn't had a man call her on her shit. hell, 12 levels of dread was made by bluepillprofessor, and he's a 20 year vet with a ball busting lawer type, had to take it all the way to 9-10 to get a turnaround, so he's the real deal in this exact situation.
But he lays out a respect getter every now and again, and she falls into line, but she holds him to task. It actually sounds much better than a submissive SAHM to me... where else you going to find instant and brutal feedback to your ability to lead a family, or
act asbe the AMOG?She isn't stupid, I'm assuming somewhat self reflective, and still a woman at the end of the day. she will respond to a masculine presence, same as any other.
Now if she's a fatty to boot, then we got an issue, but assuming she can get through law school, she must be able to get around a treadmill also... Because the only thing that matters when she walks through the door is her skills as 'wife'.
no one fucks a girl for her pivot tables
VasiliyZaitzev 8y ago
Meh. I'll take Sweet Sally over Vicious Vicki 7 out of 7 days of the week.
He may not get a 'do over' at this point.
She's a lady lawyer; they are usually pretty toxic.
stonepimpletilists 8y ago
maybe, and then he has a great sparring partner for him to practice for his future life, while she figures out her next branch swing. Clearance Diver prelims/spec OPs training is brutal, designed that way to show someone what they are capable of.
If this is a fail, using it to my aforementioned end would be a great thing for OP. Because he'll still have that 'girl hurt my brain' attitude for the next one if he doesn't IMO, and be here in another year, bitching about this exact thing.
Exactly like you say, not his, just his turn, and it may be over. Better make the most of it.
skulk2fade 8y ago
I'll write replies in the morning. Feeling crap like now, like I'm not even attractive enough for my soon to be wife, how would I cooe being single
[deleted] 8y ago
Still your soon to be wife?
You've gotta be kidding me.
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tedcase 8y ago
I just read through some of your other comments across reddit. You talk the talk mate, but you ain't walking the walk. Take some of your own advice.
throwaway-aa2 8y ago
You realize you're talking in a way that drug addict would right? What if you had a family member on heroin and you trying to get them off of it to save their lives, and they respond "well how would I cope without it". As a challenge to you, I want you to imagine that situation is real and respond to this family member (as a reply to me).
chaseemall 8y ago
No.
You have let her do a number on your head. The same thing happened to Dante Nero in his early 20's. This is a man who slept with over 1400 women. He was stripping (yes for women) and was very successful but still had an LTR who would get on him with "you ain't shit." No matter how high your SMV is, women will attempt to neg you (maliciously, not the way we do it) so they can keep you.
You would, once you regain your confidence, absolutely do better in the dating market. Simply the act of saying "I'm better than this bitch," is an act of dominance. Simply the act of leaving is an assertion of self worth. Leave. Assert your self worth.
EDIT: You're unattractive to her because you've allowed yourself to become a bitch. Stop being a bitch, and the women will flock.
deadliftsbrah 8y ago
the general consensus is to leave your GF and you're incredibly fortunate to have had forewarning, most men don't.
Break up with her, go to the gym regularly, dress well, read self-development books then profit.
If you want workout advice feel free to PM ME.
O_Son 8y ago
There's a lot of advice already posted from many points of view, most of them have a much greater knowledge of how to follow Red Pill principles, so I don't have anything else to add in that sense. What I can say is that you sound like you need Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for self-esteem issues which probably go back to childhood, as they do in most people, even halfway decent insurance will cover this in most cases. Even if not there's no reason not to check into it, because many therapists will perform CBT sessions for a very reasonable amount of money ($85-100 probably, but around $130 at the high end)- I've found this to be especially true of older therapists because after working for 30 years or more they don't know what else to do and they like to help people so they don't raise their rates every few years like most Drs do.
The thing about CBT is that unlike talk therapy it's problem focused and action-oriented, so the therapist teaches you techniques to help you rewire negative thoughts which are behind poor self-esteem, anxiety, and depression.
In all relationships one party holds more power than the other, there's can't be two captains for one ship or every disagreement would be a long debate, this has already been established at this point in your relationship. You asked for more sex and she said 'if you make more money then you'll get more sex,' so we both know that she holds more power in the relationship otherwise neither of those things would have been said. There's no point in qualifying myself here, but I've had enough experience dealing with couples, and people in general, to warn you that that's the biggest red flag I've ever heard. Usually a woman either would never have said that directly, or maybe she would after years of marriage and some serious financial problems. Unfortunately I can't make the decision for you, but keep in mind that you'll be the one that has to live with your decision and she's already established that she doesn't respect you- a woman will never love someone that she doesn't respect.
RPanonymoose 8y ago
The amoutn of cucked you are right now is amazing. Please get married and give weekly field report for laughs
massivewang 8y ago
I was a virgin until I was in my late twenties. I had all of these insecurities and more. I RPed hard and it wasn't easy. But you can improve/learn/grow and overcome. You can be attractive and there are women who will find you attractive.
Play the long game, don't focus on your immediate emotions.
rp_valiant 8y ago
you'll do absolutely grand - you've got TRP.
bluehorseinvincible 8y ago
Don't beat yourself up...she doesn't care what you look like, she cares what your bank account looks like. You're better off single....Single and making 60k you're basically ballin.
verify_account 8y ago
BOOHOO I'M NOT ATTRACTIVE.
Hit the gym tomorrow. You'll be attractive in about 2 years time. The sooner your start the better.
redkick 8y ago
That's phrased in a way to assume that your attraction is a constant. It's not, especially for men. Terminate the relationship, then improve yourself, then you'll have an easy time.
Note that it's hard to impossible to fix a relationship once the respect/attraction is gone. Believe me, I tried.
broskiatwork 8y ago
I can think of ZERO reason why you should marry a woman who doesn't respect you. She doesn't respect you.
In all honestly you are probably going to bitch out and marry her anyways, but fuck that. Prove me wrong and get the fuck out. You are making $60k a year, that's pretty damn good and you can drive yourself to make more. For a single guy that's really nice. Attractiveness can be worked on, so can self esteem. But you will NEVER fix your self esteem by marrying her. You will only ruin it more.
Cut your losses, get out. Be a man and accept it.
blunkraft96 8y ago
because you risk your current happiness for the rest of your life's.
PrinceofSpades 8y ago
You realize she's supposed to be the one to feel like that and not you, right?
hiphoprising 8y ago
Hey Buddy, you're not the only person this is happening to.
You cope by improving yourself. Be proud of who you are and who you can become. You're already getting your MBA and you make more by yourself than the median household in the US. That's impressive. The situation is, she isn't impressed because she's around six figure strong alpha fellas all day. This isn't your best choice here. She has the power in the relationship. You're making a poor choice on who to marry. You are the man, you should have the power. Without being the leader, your significant other won't show you the respect you deserve as a man.
Guy-love and Girl-love is completely different. You love her, she loves the environment you provide and the way you make her feel. Find a girl who is going to be your teammate, not look down on you. This isn't her fault and it certainly isn't yours, this is just a mismatch.
It's been said a million times but still, hit the gym, get some social hobbies (outside of IT things) and invest in yourself. You're an impressive man, but if you want to be able to have a truly healthy relationship you'll need to be someone that your significant other can respect.
I'm sorry you're in this situation but it's better for you to find out now than after you get married, I promise you.
EDIT: After looking at your submittal history, I think you know what's going on but you're in complete denial. You've been posting about this situation over the last seven months. Get out of the relationship. You won't end up alone. Stop playing so many fucking video games and get into the gym. Be social. Be someone you will be proud of!
skulk2fade 8y ago
Thanks for the comment not hating on me like most of them are.
I know deep down you are right...
[deleted] 8y ago
Then why don't you take his advice?
No point in rationalizing that you're doing it for love. You said that deep down you know he's right. Act on it.
hiphoprising 8y ago
Don't worry about it buddy. I know you know what's going on but it's tough to accept it as reality. Just remember, this isn't the only girl in he world. You're valuable. Stay true to yourself.
always-be-closing 8y ago
Make the change.
You can do it, and live better, and you're the only one who can do it for yourself.
You only live once. None of us get a second shot in our single life unless we decide to take it.
TRP can help, but even if you never want to see this sub again because of how some of the comments went, all I'd say is take away the mindset that you want to be happy, and happiness isn't accidental - you have to pursue it.
ImHereAtLast 8y ago
You need to know that you can improve your ability to attract and be attractive to women. You're a 28 year old guy with an IT job, who's aspiring for career success. Believe me, that alone will keep your options open.
great_artists_steal 8y ago
the problem isn't you, it's her. She would probably marry Brad Pitt for the money as well. You're on a great track - IT, MBA, you'll be set for life - sprinkle that with TRP (lift, hold frame, do what you want - i.e. be a man) and you'll be very attractive fpr most women.
rp_valiant 8y ago
basically rule #1 of MRP is "it's always your fault". Women only misbehave if you let them, but it sucks because most guys don't know how to behave correctly in a relationship either. The first step is to accept that she acted like this because he let her, and then to begin altering his behaviour and mindset such that he doesn't make the same mistakes again.
arxdit 8y ago
You should not anchor your self confidence on some external "thing" such as a woman's interest in you. It should come from within, it should be your inner core -- the one where NOBODY can get in.
Don't think she doesn't notice the power she has over you by uttering a sigle phrase (aka pressing your button), which by the way makes you extremely unattractive.
RedPimpin 8y ago
you're pedalizing her HARD, stop acting with your FEELINGS! that's what women do
Izzenw 8y ago
I will teach you a meditation exercise.
First of all, imagine yourself running. Second of all, imagine a timeline, where there is no tomorrow. third and final, fuse the two steps.
Now seriously bro, I wish I could sit with you, have a whisky and a bro conversation on how you would get your life ruined by staying with this girl.
For real, it will HURT A LOT, but leave. NOW. Hard Next her and go lift. Substitute her for lifting.
notgivefuck 8y ago
substitute lifting for her*
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skulk2fade 8y ago
Hey guys so some more info. I remember her telling me her mum told Her the woman isn't meant to want sex and the man always has to be the one to ask for it, I think she basically told me she was told to use it as a tool.
The thing about the marriage is lots it's like all the $$$thousands we have already spent, the disappointment of my parents and lots of stuff. I feel pretty shit at the moment like I wouldn't be happy single and would likely move Into my parents and now we got land and stuff tied up in both our names, ugh it's hard/
I was just so shocked to hear the comment about money, makes me feel so low and pathetic like not even my wife wants me, that's how unattractive i am.
Fyi when we first met all her friends were jealous because we would have sex 3 times a day everyday -_-
csehszlovakze 8y ago
You've lost thousands, and if you proceed, you'll lose everything.
cashmoney_x 8y ago
You ALREADY claimed to know that this was horribly fallacious thinking. You can buy your freedom for that $$. Instead though, you would rather buy a horrible future. YOUR FREEDOM IS WORTH A FEW THOUSAND.
FFS man, wake up or just stop bleating like a sheep and do what we all know you will. One of the guys here will take nice care of your wife when she's done with you, don't worry.
Darkone06 8y ago
You made 80k sex 3x a day, drop down to 60k which is still an impressive salary the problem is that you now make less than her, no more sex.
tyrryt 8y ago
So the response to finding yourself in a hole is to just keep digging?
[deleted] 8y ago
Harden the fuck up and think about this for a moment. You feel pretty shit right now? Noted. So, she made you feel this way. Do you imagine there is some act you could perform, some price you could pay so she stops making you feel this way? Or do you imagine that in ten years, the same treatment every day breaks you down into meek, depressed docility?
Trick question - her actions may affect your mood but should not be allowed to affect your self-image. You're either shit, or you're not. Either way, it's not up to her.
Ten years from now, will you look back and say, "I would gladly lose the deposit on a wedding, honeymoon, and house if I could have a do-over" ? Would you refuse to pay a necessary medical bill because you'd rather be rich and dead than alive and poor? Hell, being poor is only temporary unless she's go the courts on her side. Get your head out of the morass of self-pity before the sunk cost starts to grow.
You apparently used to be attractive because her friends were jealous and you were getting laid like tile. You can be again if you stop being a sad sack. Get out there and get to work. If you're dreading a long breakup argument, you don't owe it to her - make the calls, cancel everything, pack your shit and leave. She knows what she did, no matter how much she'll protest later that she doesn't. If you're worried about what your family will say, remember that anyone who really loves you wants you to be happy, not trapped in a sexless, loveless marriage. They will support your decision if they understand the facts - any resistance otherwise simply indicates their misunderstanding. This is not one of those judgment call matters where an outside perspective might be correct - this is a giant red flag.
pursuitofman 8y ago
Sunk Cost Fallacy
This woman has shown you her true opinion of you. If you continue to invest in the relationship you will only be setting yourself up for more hurt and financial losses, along with a number of wasted years. There really is only one logical solution to this.
7a5154 8y ago
It doesn't get easier.
You are going to have to separate yourself from her someday - if you do it now, it'll be relatively easy for you to move on to a more suitable mate. If you wait, you'll probably have kids with her and end up paying child support and spousal support, and you'll still have to disappoint your parents - unless you wait until they're dead, which means you'll waste most of your life avoiding other people's [imagined] disapproval.
GET THE FUCK OUT NOW.
TRPhd 8y ago
Very typical Eastern family advice. If she told you that she was told this, she is very honest. Listen, dude: why would she ever fucking admit that? Why?? She wants you to end it. She's begging you to end it. She wants to save face with her family, when they inevitably ask her why she split with you, then she has plausible deniability.
That's the only reason she's admitting to manipulation in this way, she insults you on purpose, she kicks your heart around and shits in your ventricles and it pumps right to your fucking brain. Wake up, dumbass.
Your divorce will cost more.
They will be even more disappointed when you divorce. You know what will really rip their guts out, though? When you don't get visitation of your kids at the holidays so they don't get to see their grandkids. That is what will truly disappoint them.
Fuck your feelings. Feelings are for fingertips and pussy lips. Fuck that shit. Your feelings are wrong, let them go. Turn your self-pity into anger. You deserve to be angry. She wants you to be angry, so that you'll call this shit off and she can tell her family with a straight face that you did it. Look, you'll be mad, and angry enough to say some rotten shit, and she'll hold that against you, and the next day you'll feel all sheepish and embarassed, and she'll manipulate you into giving her the property and probably the vacation too. But it will be fucking worth it, because you will have escaped with your life.
She wants you to end it. That's the best explanation.
You'll be less happy married. Go to a shrink, motherfucker. You need pills.
Suck it up, kid. Use the opportunity to save up a little money, get out of all your debt, and re-launch your life into a sweet-ass apartment (or would you call it a flat?) in a year or so.
Fuck it. Worth the price to escape misery, motherfucker.
Sack up, brother. You have to do this; you are in mortal peril. You have to get out now.
vorverk 8y ago
Listen. 99% of TRPers know how you feel. We've been through shit like this, that's why most of us are here.
You will feel awful for a month or 3, and bad for a year or 2 IF YOU GET OUT NOW. After that it's only uphill. Your prime years are ahead of you in 5 or 10 years and beyond.
If you don't get out now you will be financially, emotionally and personally destroyed. It's a fact. It's a time bomb.
BenjiDread 8y ago
You are being emotionally abused and suffering from something like Stockholm syndrome. I guarantee you that all the pain of a breakup today will pale in comparison to the pain of infidelity, divorce and self loathing that will happen when she eventually divorces you and leaves you destitute.
Next request after marriage...... Children. Oh boy. . . That's when the shit's gonna get REAL! Right now you actually have the gift of CHOICE.
You will never have the opportunity to choose again without A SHIT TON MORE SUNKEN MONEY, TIME, EMOTION, SELF RESPECT.
Do you think your parents would be disappointed now? Wait till you have a child with this woman and get fucked over in divorce court. How disappointed do you think they'll be then? Have you told them everything you've told us? If they still want u to marry her you should cut them out of your life too because they don't care about your happiness either (or just as dumb as you are being right now and thus a detriment to your future sanity).
Don't fuck this up. Get the fuck out and never look back. I don't care is the grass is black on the other side. It's better than green grass that destroys your soul and devours your corpse.
yumyumgivemesome 8y ago
OP, read every comment in here once and then read them again 10 more times. Your attempts at rationalizing the situation as if you're already in too far is making every single one of us scream in frustration. Most of us are single. Life does not suck. I've just had two dates cancel on me back-to-back (just received a text re tonight's date). Oh well. There will be more. You'll get yourself together and become the man you want to be. The very first fucking step is to realize that this woman is TOXIC to your happiness and well-being. Guess who in the world is responsible for your happiness and well-being. Well take a look in the mirror and tell that motherfucker to get off his ass and make it happen. (This situation is so cut and dry that I sincerely hope it's just a troll.)
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needsomehalpls 8y ago
You are living for other people and avoiding responsibility for your own happiness. Dump the bitch, she is going to be a lawyer cumrag anyway. Then start living for you. Maybe youll want to lift or maybe youll want to play videogames all day, whatever you do do it for you. Fuck dissapointing your parents, youll end up suiciding over this bitch, what about ur parents fuck m start living for yourself dude
FreyWill 8y ago
Buddy she's obviously running the show. I bet she picked the house and where you're going on your honeymoon too.
Now, moreso than any other situation you've ever faced, is time to man up. This you're life you're talking about. This is it.
Say you need to postpone everything by a year. If she loves you, she'll understand.
chaseemall 8y ago
Are you a man, or aren't you? Put aside everyone else's interests for a bit and do what you have to do for yourself.
chaseemall 8y ago
Are you a man, or aren't you? Put aside everyone else's interests for a bit and do what you have to do for yourself.
porkmaster 8y ago
Lose some money now or waste years of your life and lose more later. Your choice. At least you're making an informed decision.
Meristry 8y ago
Dumping her will be the path of least resistance in the long run, even if it doesn't seem like it right now. Think about yourself bro, in the let's say five years before she divorce rapes you, you could've built up something substantial just for you.
The_Man_on_the_Wall 8y ago
Spin that hamster. Rationalize the mistake of a lifetime.
You come asking for help. Just about every single person gives the same advice.....RUN.
You dont want advice or help. You want someone here to tell you its ok to pursue this nonsense.
You're a lost cause. Enjoy your future misery and financial hardships.
dredpillman 8y ago
The principle here is.... Women hold the sex - men hold the commitment. Women want commitment Men want Sex. Unplug from her and only reward her with your time and attention if you get what you want. Go out have fun ignore her if you aren't getting what you want.
BenjiDread 8y ago
And here OP is about to hand over the rest of his life in commitment to a woman who is ALREADY withholding sex.
OP, you're doing it wrong. If you're going to make the mistake of getting married, you're supposed to be getting married when it's still good. Not when its already gone to shit.
I envy your youth and the HUGE favour your fiance gave you by saying such unbelievably heartless things.
She has to be the dumbest woman in the world to just lay it out like that (more money more sex). But then again she isn't she knows that YOU are a bitch of a man who she can say shit like this to. No. You are the dumb one. She's playing you like a master pianist. And you're oh so eager for more.
You are a masochist who thrives on humiliation. That's why you come here over and over to be berated by men after being berated by your wife. A sick part of you is addicted to this feeling of worthlessness. If this thread doesn't help you, nothing will. Just go feed your addiction. You seem to enjoy suffering in some sick twisted way. You found the right woman for that.
Archwinger Endorsed Contributor 8y ago
The $$$thousands you've already spent are much, much, MUCH less than what you'll lose in a divorce.
And do you know what's more expensive than divorce? Marriage. Being married to someone is fucking expensive. Women spend a lot of money.
And if you have kids? Kids cost an arm and a leg.
And THEN when she divorces you after spending all of your money as your wife, and after birthing a couple of kids? You'll have nothing. We're not going to read your sob story here, because you're going to have put a bullet in your head by then, if you can even afford bullets.
JP_Whoregan 8y ago
This is called the Sunken Cost Fallacy.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunk_costs
And if you think you're out $$$thousands now, just wait until she tires of you and divorces you (or, starves you of sex for enough years that you finally divorce her, either way, she wins in court). You haven't seen anything yet.
My_Post_Is_On_Topic 8y ago
Exactly. If OP makes 60k, and his alimony ends up being half, OP will lose $300,000 from divorce over a decade. God forbid if OP's wife "accidentally forgets to take birth control", in that case he'd likely be paying double from the divorce. And if OP loses his job? Straight to jail, enjoy the criminal record and a life completely ruined.
JP_Whoregan 8y ago
On any given day in this country there are over 100,000 men sitting in jails for failure to pay child support. And many of them simply can no longer afford to pay it because they lost their job, became disabled, etc.
And here's the kicker in Florida: if you fall behind on Child Support, they suspend your driver's license. Think about the logic there: how the hell is a man supposed to look for, and work at, a new job, if he doesn't have a fucking way to drive to the job to make the money he needs to pay his child support? FYI, no city in Florida has any sort of decent public transportation; it's usually sparse and stops running at 7pm.
My_Post_Is_On_Topic 8y ago
God damn, I learned that from experience. I remember having to genuinely sprint out to the bus stop after my shift ended at 9:15pm (which would run ten minutes late, so I'd leave at 9:25) to catch the last bus at 9:30pm. And god forbid you ever have to work on a Sunday when the buses are one per hour and stop at 6pm.
I will never, ever get married or contribute in any way to having children. Regardless of my personal views (that life is a curse and bringing new life into the world often just creates new suffering) fathers in western society are treated like absolute trash, by both women and the government. Many males think Redpill is "just a misogynist joke" until alimony and child support forces them to live out of their car to survive, or throws them in jail. They swallow the red pill real fucking fast when the government leaves them to die, and the woman gets rewarded with most of his paycheck that she can spend on all the luxuries she wants.
alkme_ 8y ago
I cannot stop upvoting the advice in this thread in an attempt to shock you and wake you up. You're 28, you still have so much life to live and so many other beautiful women to meet. If you marry this woman you are going to be: hanging at the end of a rope, a hopeless alcoholic attached to your cheating wife, or completely broke at 40 wondering what happened to your life, completely torn apart by your own lack of foresight. We are trying to help you!!!!
PrinceofSpades 8y ago
Stop reading this subreddit and start doing the things it tells you. It sounds like you want to ignore everyone here and be a beta bux provider because you're already comfortable being one. You need to man the fuck up. Go March up to your fiancé and tell her you want HER to make YOU proud. Then I want you to start having sex with her. Don't fucking ask to have sex. Just start making out and getting handsy and be dominant for once in your miserable life. Don't you fucking stop until she gives you the safety word; I can almost guarantee she'll instead be asking you what's gotten into you because you finally gave her some tingles again.
I can't remember the last time I've ever asked for sex. A plate came over During the weekend and we fucked 11 times in 24 hours, including butt stuff. Bragging about 3 times a day? I have a girl who comes over just to get tied up and call me sir while I treat her like an object. I didn't ask once what I could do, I just did. I took her and used her whenever I wanted and she fucking loved it. Welcome to the reality about your fiancé ~6-10 years ago.
You are the beta bux. Learn to be the alpha bux, or start over, get your life properly together with a solid degree and a younger girl who will meet your needs, and be happy. Your current route leads to a divorce and you aren't even married yet. That's on YOU, because you come off like a bitch. This isn't a place for you to seek a shoulder to cry on and be told everything will be OK. If I saw you in real life and you started talking to me like that I'd hit you so hard in the gut it wouldn't be funny, before telling you to grow the fuck up. Then I'd laugh at you before giving you a hand up and laughing with you over a beer. She's just a girl. She's nothing special. You want her, then man the fuck up. Stop talking and just go do things. Go to the gym after work, come home, shower, fuck her without talking to her, then go to sleep. Watch how cuddly she gets afterwards.
SteveChiefy 8y ago
Control yourself. You think your ancestors of old would have acted like this? Stop being a push over. Cling to your guns and stick to your holster. Be single in your 30s, workout and make 80+ a year with that degree coming up and just be happy alone. Once you can be happy alone then think about a long term relationship.
its-iceman 8y ago
You are being such a little bitch about all of this. Good god. It's your life, you only get to do this shit once and then you die.
Don't spend it with this self-obsessed harpy who doesn't give a shit about you. You're going to look back on feeling awkward and embarrassed about the wedding with so much regret.
ImHereAtLast 8y ago
She's probably cheating on you...
EnragedParrot 8y ago
THIS!
She's likely ALREADY cheating, if she's saying sex isn't important (or whatever nonsense she was spouting). She's already getting it from an Alpha, since he isn't exciting her anymore.
this_guy2001 8y ago
Well, she totally used those tricks on you. She hooked you in with the sex and now you have to pay to play. It's funny.
As for divorce, I don't know if she'll totally divorce rape you since she will be making money as well; however, you will probably give her all your shit anyway. The way I see it, she's going to meet some rich dude or someone with status and dump your ass. Then she'll have you believe it was somehow your fault.
One thing, I do sort of agree with is that you should be making more money than her unless you have something else to bargain with, for example: muscles, bad-ass car, big cock, etc. Basically, something your woman can brag about. If you have nothing for her to brag about, she may not need you. This is how a lot of women see it.
Jttoo 8y ago
Cancel everything! Take a break from this woman, disentangle your life from hers, get some perspective on life.
You say you lurk here and are still going forward with all this?
Really? WTF man, get a hold on yourself.
Take a time out. There is every reason not to rush into marriage at your age.
JP_Whoregan 8y ago
If OP lurks here as often as he says he does, then he's already seen all of the littered corpses of men fucked over in divorce. Yet here he is, lining up to become the next corpse.
RedPillDan 8y ago
Yes but you're clearly not happy with this bro. If you're worried about all the finances that are tied together now, just wait for 5 years down the road.
This is win/win for her man. She gets the fancy honeymoon, the house and the vacations on your dime. She doesn't care if you aren't happy. If you finally divorce her down the line, she is set for life. Nothing changes for her only now she doesn't have to sneak around with the guy she's actually fucking. Because if she's not fucking you, she's fucking somebody.
mrust 8y ago
Sunk cost fallacy (Google it). You are invested in the relationship and she is already making you jump through hoops. Also, you are opening up to her about your insecurities which will turn her pussy into the Sahara. You are getting as much sex as you will EVER get from her. Expect it to drop to once a month and then once every six months.
Your first paragraph is a red flag. She is a lawyer - that is 2. She is telling you she needs you to make more money, that's three.
Do you know why she needs you to earn more money? So that she can retire, and then divorce rape you.
It will never be easier to walk away from this toxic relationship than right now.
MoneyStatusLooks 8y ago
You are obviously not happy. Let me tell you something, a good relationship is NOTHING like this.
On top of this, it's at least 50% your fault, because of your behaviour and for choosing the WRONG woman.
You can have everything down and be an 11/10 catch, but if you choose the wrong woman you will never be happy in your relationship.
As they say, you can't turn a slut in to a housewife. In your case, just from the limited details you said, its pretty obvious that your fiance seems the bitchy/manipulative type, as well as craving someone very high status.
Women always date up, so unless you are on a higher level than her in every part of life, she will never have tingles/be attracted and will always be majorly disrespectful to you.
Personally, I think once the disrespect has started, the damage is already done and everything is doomed.
In your position, you need to think about damage limitation over the long run. Not sure how much you have spent on the wedding, but no matter what, it's not worth going through with if you have 10/20/30 years of unhappiness and a nagging/disrespectful bitch of a wife.
I had a 4 year LTR, somewhat like this, but different. The grass is often greener, but only if you change who you are and find the right people to be around you.
In a good LTR, your value is solidly above theirs, and they view you as a hero. You need to be the best she has ever had and ever has the hopes of having in order to keep them trying to please you forever.
My current LTR I have been dating about 10 months. I get woken up by blowjobs in bed, she cooks for me, is charming (although a bit cheeky), polite when neccesary and very feminine. I have never been nagged, I don't get shit tested, although I get frequently comfort tested. It's because she knows that I am the ultimate catch for her and she can just relax into being herself. This is the state of a good LTR in my opinion.
Stories_of_Red 8y ago
Wow. The male hamster on display, fellas. Ugly sight, isn't it.
OP, you came here knowing what the advice would be. You got it. Make your decision now, and live with the consequences. When your marriage is just more of this crap, don't blame her, don't blame her mom, don't blame society, don't blame your kids.
You are to blame. You choose this life.
JP_Whoregan 8y ago
I really don't think this one is going to be salvageable. Even before I read comment number one I knew this schlub was gonna rationalize everything about the "money already spent".
One time, I bought a "fixer upper" 2002 Yamaha R1. About $2000 into the rebuild (labor, motor, new wheels/tires, etc,) I realized that the fairings weren't lining up correctly. Took it to a shop only to find out that the frame was bent, meaning to finish the bike would cost more than it would end up being worth. So I scrapped the build.
Robx9001 8y ago
Shut up and dump her. You are miserable now and it will only get worse if you marry her.
newusernamereddit 8y ago
who gives a fuck?
run away
Battle-Scars 8y ago
This. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QfCOJLRk2D4
[deleted] 8y ago
[deleted]
My_Post_Is_On_Topic 8y ago
This. Many males don't lose their bluepill mindset until they're forced by divorce laws to hand over majority of their paycheck every single month for a decade, with the threat of jailtime if he loses his job.
It's sad that it has to come to that. Marriage is a scam, I've said that so many times and yet males are still blowing thousands on a wedding only to lose everything in the divorce. If both the husband and wife are working, alimony shouldn't even exist.
Occams_Shiv 8y ago
How you feel now, is how you will feel for the rest of your life if you marry this woman. Ask yourself if that's that you want your life to be.
At 28, you are too old to worry overly much that your parents will be disappointed. My bet is that they will support you more than you think. If they don't, it doesn't matter.
RedPimpin 8y ago
stop hamstering
dump her, take your losses and move on
what are $50k when your future life is on the line here?
you're also not happy now, this woman sucks the life out of you like you said right here
start to think rational about it, run while you can!!!
stonepimpletilists 8y ago
more excuses...
she will divorce rape you because you're a bitch. stop being a bitch.
don_pel 8y ago
This. You think she is different?
There is nothing her mom can tell her that would prevent her from jumping on chad's dick if the opportunity arises.
Understand that the problem is you, not her.
[deleted]
DocTomoe 8y ago
Now here are three life decisions that you should probably reconsider.
Rathadin 8y ago
Hope he breaks up with this bitch and goes on the honeymoon by himself and uses the time to pick up chicks.
I bet you dollars to pesos when he says, "We are buying real estate", what he means is, "I put up all the money for this shit, but because I am a fucking retard, I put her name on the deed too."
doubledup-tn 8y ago
That's how I read it. I don't trust for a second that she's putting down an equal amount of her salary for these purposes.
tclearinghouse 8y ago
literally laughed at this, sad but so true
Wambosi1 8y ago
Please don't marry her. Have some trust on your internet friends. It will end bad for you. And if you end up having kids ,you are royally fucked. Please don't marry her!
AlfredTheGreatest 8y ago
Why are you buying a cow that gives no milk? This will get worse once you get married. Run for your life, man. It will never be easier to walk away than TODAY! Yes, you have sunk costs in this. You want to get an MBA? First test question: How should sunk costs factor into decisions?
skulk2fade 8y ago
They shouldn't if you already lost money don't lose more
balalasaurus 8y ago
Then break it off now. You think you've lost money by planning the wedding? Just wait until your unhappy and want a divorce and watch how bad your finances will get once you've been divorce raped. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned - and a female lawyer is the devil incarnate.
makethemsayayy 8y ago
and they smell horrible. the pants-suit keeps must, stress, and sweaty vagina scent together in an aura...
the eau de femme lawyer.
Available now at Stinky's.
[deleted]
killking72 8y ago
Say you bought stocks in a drug company that was currently in the process of testing a cure all everything forever pill. Everyone is going to buy into that early especially you because you want money. You learn from a very credible source that the FDA is going to trashcan it because it causes sudden death in 90% of the patients. Are you going to wait until It tanks and you're down 40 grand from your 401k or are you going to get out while the gettin' in good.
You can't treat this kind of situation like she's a person or you'll get caught up on the human aspect of the problem. You love her, you want to be with her, yadda yadda. She is going to absolutely ruin your life. She even told you she would.
There are lots of people who will talk mad shit if they hear why you left her, and there are others in your life who will give you a metric fuckton of respect. But if you stay with her and end up in a sad marriage, everyone will pity you until they learn that you could've avoided it and then they'll think you're an idiot. Then welcome to being known as a bitch.
mikesteane 8y ago
And she's a lawyer, so the breakup will be even more on her terms than it would otherwise have been.
MattyAnon Admin 8y ago
Right.
You think you're sexually unsatisfied now? Wait until you're married and have no other options in life.
You'll probably still marry her. You'll go through with all this, for some blue pill reasoning (I said I would! I love her! It will all be fine! I've paid for the honeymoon!)
Look... there's alpha and there's beta. Very very very few marriages manage to combine both. And those that do involve the man being extremely alpha, knowing what he's doing from the start, and being insanely strong in the face of female shit tests.
You on the other hand... are starting on the back foot. You've made all this commitment to her, and you've asked her to hold up her side of the deal. To which she did not answer "of course I will honey, I love you, I adore you, I deeply crave hot sex with you!" ... no, she said "you must do more".
It's not even true. If you did earn more, you'd have more sex for a week after your pay raise. Then it would go back to how it was, and she'd be saying "well, it's not that big a raise is it?". And if you did suddenly make enough... she'd turn round and say "I'm not a whore, money can't buy sex with me!".
Thing is... there's always a reason with this type of woman, and the reason (I am said to say) is this: "I hold all the sexual power and you must do my bidding". Sex is used as a weapon and as a negotiation, you must always pay for it, and you'll never get enough.
Welcome to TRP, make yourself at home, read the sidebar.
DO NOT MARRY
themasterof 8y ago
This. Marry this women and she will keep you stressed and anxious your entire life. When your old you are probably gonna get a heart attack from all the pressure from her, this is the kinda shit that lowers life expectance of men.
mojo_juju 8y ago
Listen to MattyAnon and don't be a bitch -- you'll fuck yourself (while she won't).
Also, the best way to get over this hoe is to find a new one to distract you from your oneitis heartbreak.
vorverk 8y ago
Exactly. He might be rationalizing that he'll become more alpha later and make more money and somehow fix the stuff. But it's allready too late.
It's a war. And op is entering this war (marriage) with stone age axe, while she's allready equipped with aircraft carriers and high tech drones.
EJECT
MattyAnon Admin 8y ago
"Marriage is a battle between a man and a woman, in which the man has no weapons"
paraphrased from George Carlin
vandaalen 8y ago
I just have a vision.
I see a future, where OP is the stay-at-home-dad, because “You know I make more money and you could find a job, where you can work from home.“, shortly before he gets divorced from her, because she fell in love “with“ that DT-millionaire-client who fucked her brains out, while he did the chores.
JP_Whoregan 8y ago
This will be the ultimate
rationalizationhamstering why OP decides to marry her anyways, despite her showing enough red flags to make Kim Jong Un blush.If men are susceptible to one thing, it is the Sunken Cost Fallacy. "But we've been together for so long! How can we throw away X years of a relationship?! (my ex used this on me all the time when I threatened to leave) "But I've already paid for the honeymoon!"
200_7 8y ago
That's the sunk cost fallacy in action. Get the fuck out.
[deleted] 8y ago
The sunk cost fallacy is a bad one.
Dropping that money means he has the option to go, not the obligation to go. People fuck this shit up all the time.
balalasaurus 8y ago
Hear hear. The most disappointing thing about this thread is that OP doesn't realize the 'cost' of breaking it off right now will pale in comparison to the cost he'll inevitably face down the road.
Actually, I call troll to this whole post. OP's just trying to pull our leg.
TheMGhandi 8y ago
This is what he's said in the past:
A few days after he posts on asktrp, and you gave him some advice. He proceeds to act like a 'sperg and seeing as it's annoying, you, like the rest of us, want to beat this shit out of him. It's the exact same feeling a man gets when his woman acts like a bitch that won't listen, so he feels like if he slaps her once, all the problems will go away.
tldr; Someone needs to bitchslap OP.
Code_Bordeauxx 8y ago
Either you pay nothing for sex, nothing at all, or you pay with everything; all limits are off.
OP: this is you paying. There's only one sensible thing to do now, and there's a timer attached to it on top of that. Now cut loose from this [sunk cost] (http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/how-the-sunk-cost-fallacy-makes-you-act-stupid.html) and do what you need to do for the sake of your future mental well being.
skulk2fade 8y ago
This is all really difficult for me. I read the red pill on a daily basis (I lurk a lot) but I feel so crap at the moment -_-
csehszlovakze 8y ago
Bro, if you go any forward with her, you'll deserve every harm she can cause you, because you have all the warnings.
Prepare yourself against false rape accusations and leave. NOW.
kpak76 8y ago
I don't see how it's difficult at all. It's plain to see for everyone that this woman is going to ruin you. If you marry her, you only have yourself to blame for the consequences.
skulk2fade 8y ago
Thanks for the comment kpak76. Everyone is in agreement it seems.
kpak76 8y ago
Yea, it's pretty simple for us who's not actually going through what you are. The logical choice is clear. You just need the bravery to go through with it.
SgtBrutalisk 8y ago
My guess is that only when you show some backbone to your GF is when she will truly start to respect you. Ironically, when you decide to call it quits is when she will struggle to stay with you.
redestofthereds 8y ago
Can't you just make one little move of resistance. Like when she calls don't answer until you see her or when she's blathering on about her bullshit day at work, just walk away as if you weren't that she's talking?
Put your foot down somewhere. It doesn't have to be this grand scene of defiance. Put a splinter in her mind that makes her feel that things won't go her way.
ImHereAtLast 8y ago
What you need to understand OP is that this girl's sex appeal, regardless of how hot or "special" you think she is, is simply not worth what you're diving head-first into if you put a ring on it. It probably doesn't feel like it for you right now, but rest assured, there are other women out there.
You need to rip the life-sucking leech that is this woman off of you now, before she destroys you.
WendigoWood 8y ago
If you think you feel like crap right now imagine how bad you're going to feel when she fucks you up the ass, takes half your shit (maybe MORE than half your shit because she is a lawyer for fucks sake) and runs off with some other dude because he makes twice as much money as you do? Then your money goes to subsidize her and him.
She TOLD YOU what she is about. Seriously, walk away from this bitch. If you don't have the balls you deserve what you get.
TRPhd 8y ago
"Feelin's got nuthin' to do with it."
stonepimpletilists 8y ago
I notice you never mentionned reading the sidebar.
lurking the sub without the basics will just have you develop a hate on for muslims, sexually promiscuous women, and love for complaining about popular media
ATrashMan 8y ago
Obviously you do not read red pill enough. Everyone here, myself included, can tell by your previous post history and your posts here that you are just whining and you are not going to do a damn thing except get divorce raped. I almost feel sorry for you.
BenjiDread 8y ago
I just went through an extremely difficult breakup. I had been with my ex for 7 years, 5 of those years we lived together and we have a 3 year old child.
Within a year of first moving in, I knew something was wrong with the sex life. 4 years of denial later I had to walk away from everything we had built together, destroy the family I put all my self-worth into and walk away from my one and only child (I still get to see her on a fairly regular basis, but it absolutely crushed me to no longer live in the same house as my daughter)
If you think you have sunken cost now, you're in for a future of absolute desolation. This woman is a sick fucking bitch who DOES NOT GIVE A FLYING FUCK about you. Leave now. Leave TODAY. Burn that fucking bridge to the ground.
I only moved out 2 months ago. I'm still extremely sad, lonely, angry, and heartbroken, but guess what.... It's better that it was last month and it'll be better next month.
Leave, start lifting and start practicing RP advice right now. The more of this advice you hear and ignore, the less effective any future advice will be. You are lucky enough to know all of this BEFORE making the biggest mistake of your life. You can only blame yourself when it plays out exactly as we are predicting here. And you'll hate yourself even more than you do now when she eventually leaves or cheats on you, then divorce rapes you to oblivion.
Getting married to this women will not solve any of your problems but will make them infinitely worse.
You've been wasting a lot of time waiting for a something from this woman that will never come. EVER. Take the hit, GTFO and start the process of building yourself a new life. Do it or you will fucking die.
Tyranith 8y ago
Fuck sake man. Get your head out of your fucking arsehole. You came here for advice now fucking listen to it.
Part of being a man is being able to make tough decisions based on rationality rather than on emotion and follow through rather than pussy out. If you think any of the people here are wrong, if any of their arguments are unsound, go ahead and argue with any of the dozens of people in this thread all telling you the same thing. If you think (and we both know you know it, otherwise you wouldn't be here) the advice here is sound, stop being a bitch and do it, even if it's hard.
"It's difficult" "It's hard" "I feel crap" "I don't wanna"
Bitches and children use those excuses. Stop. One of the most liberating things you can do is to start doing things you know you should do but are hard. Yeah it's a big first step. Do it anyway.
topapito 8y ago
It's done. Over. You are working hard at being blind. And from this comment, I can see that nobody is getting through to you.
You will marry this woman. You will be sorry. We'll point you to this post when you come back.
Guys, let's pack it up. We lost him. Good job, can't save them all though.
NaughtyFred 8y ago
Then you already know what rp thinks your fate will be with this woman and how it will play out.
You'll marry her (unless you wise the fuck up)
She'll start making more money at her law firm (more than you)
She'll lose whatever shred of respect for you she has.
She'll start looking for someone else, someone better than her perception of you.
She'll find it at the law firm (junior/senior partner)
They'll be fucking on the regular in ways you can only dream of while you might get starfish sex once a month wondering why her pussy tastes saltier than you remember. (welcome to cucksville, population: you)
She'll grow tired of how pathetic you are compared to her alpha, and start moving the pieces into place to divorce you, which you won't see coming because you'll be too busy feeling sorry for yourself while thinking of new ways to please her ever increasing demands for ever decreasing rewards.
Your ass will be divorce raped until you prolapse
csehszlovakze 8y ago
she can't because she already has none.
InscrutablePUA 8y ago
All of this is pretty textbook except for #8: how will she divorce rape him when she makes much more than he does?
JP_Whoregan 8y ago
WHEN the sex reduces after marriage, when she comes up with more excuses not to have sex, like Stories of Red said above...you have no right to blame her for it. Do not come here 2 years from now asking "omg guise what do I do, my wife won't have sex with me."
Why? Because you won't have a sympathetic ear here, we will tell you to take it to dead bedrooms. Most women wait until after they've gotten the wedding band and legal contract of marriage to start using sex as an ultimatum tool. She, however, is like Marty McFly; she's giving you a glimpse into your future, and guess what? You're not gonna be getting laid like Biff Tannen.
Get ready to hear all of it. Many of us here already have.
http://therationalmale.com/2013/08/29/as-good-as-it-gets/
READ THAT. Then read it again. Men marry idealistically (which is why you are so devastated at the reality she shows you), women marry opportunistically (which is why she's marrying you for your income potential and bargaining sex around what she's really after, your money).
UrsusG 8y ago
Or your best case scenario becomes
BenjiDread 8y ago
Been there. Have the porn addiction to prove it. I just installed a porn blocker last week and haven't indulged since. It's difficult but it's getting easier.
JP_Whoregan 8y ago
And more exciting than pulsating into a wet-holed starfish. It's amazing how in 50 short years the dynamic has shifted from "if you want to get constant sex then you need to get married", to "if you want to get constant sex the last thing you should do is get married."
[deleted] 8y ago
Hilarious and so accurate.
Especially the back massage slumber
ImHereAtLast 8y ago
I don't think you realize it, but you actually have a fair amount of power in this situation... you have yet to marry her, and you have yet to take her on that European honeymoon.
I'd pay good money to see her reaction if you told her that you'd like to "take a break" and "hold off the wedding."
[deleted]
Menstrual-Cyclist 8y ago
You should feel like crap. The truth is ugly, painful, and a bitter pill to swallow. But that sick feeling means it cuts to the heart of the matter. You done goofed, but it isn't irreversible, otherwise you wouldn't be here.
Your sharing this story with us is like explaining to your doctor that your stomach hurts. Our answers are the doctor telling you that you have stomach cancer, but your prognosis is good if you start treatment right away.
Well, are you going to start treatment, or are you going to let it (her) eat you down to the bone until you gasp your last breath?
IamGale 8y ago
Take some time off seeing her.
UrsusG 8y ago
Quit whining and read /u/MattyAnon's response above.
This is your future if you go through with the marriage.
Is it worth it?
UrsusG 8y ago
First try singing this in Bruce Dickinson's voice:
"Run to the hills, run for your life..."
Then ask your fair maiden for her pricelist. It's pretty clear she's a working girl, and this is good news, because it should make your sex life much easier from now on. You'll know what you're paying for.
I'm not even sarcastic.
WendigoWood 8y ago
She's ballcrushing him so bad he probably makes King Diamond sound like a basso profundo.
[deleted]
eccentricrealist 8y ago
Duuuuuude. DUUUUUUUDE. Run the fuck away while you still can and make sure she won't sue for palimony. Fuck, man, she's already making it clear that she wants you for your money, or at least, it's big part of your value to her. It's already implied, of course, but if she's so open about it she's colder than the average woman and truly doesn't give a shit. You lost confidence? Happens to all of us who date a manipulative woman. It happened to me and I crashed and burned pretty hard. She loved the way you made her feel, but not anymore.
CopyAndPaste2015 8y ago
Run away as fast as you can mate, while you can.
whammyface 8y ago
And you need to bounce from that relationship like yesterday
Questionablechoice 8y ago
This is gonna be some cold hard truth here buddy.
You are marrying a lawyer?
Ouch you are fucked buddy. She is working in one of the most alpha work environments there is out there. She is going to be surround by men who have built practices with there own toil and sweat but in addition to these are competitive business men. In law you either succeed by being aggressive and getting rich or die in the archive room. You aren't going to be compared to the salary that she makes. You are going to be compared to the salary that the senior partners make.
Not to mention she has studied law knows how to read and how it can be enforced. You are in for a serious divorce rape. She is already giving you ultimatums and your not even married yet. This shit is going to get far worse before it gets better. She might have already lost respect to the point that you might not be able to come back.
Take a serious look at this relationship. If she is using sex as a bargaining chip now what is going to happen in a year? How about 5? Your in for a dead bedroom followed by a cheating wife and a huge divorce settlement in her favor once you start making more than her. Healthy relationships don't make sex a transaction let alone a ultimatum.
Edit 1:
Let me give you an analogy here. Your 28 male and in IT I'm going to assume you play video games and I am going to assume you have a steam account.
If Gabe Newell started a conversation with you and said "Hey /u/stulk2fade that's a nice steam collection you have there. You know if you put more money in your steam wallet I am going to remove this temporary ban I put on your account."
Would you do it?
Then when you didn't put enough money in your steam wallet and Gabe locked out your account, would you be pissed off?
Cause that's what she is saying and threatening to do.
[deleted] 8y ago
Incredible my friend, you have just turned this dude into a full time "red pill" browser!
dwhipwhipplez 8y ago
I have been dating a lawyer for nearly a year. I actually work in IT as well. I make far less than her, she buys me shit all the time. I met her while working in the IT dpt, we worked together basically. I no longer work there, but there are some women out there that are not like this. If she wasn't fucking you well to begin with, she not going to start now. The sex I have is not tame in any regard. I go hard in the paint!
I make wayyyyyyyyyyy less, but I also am an entertainer, and speak in front of large crowds. I have a I don't give a fuck attitude. I guess I am the cool IT guy? I'm trying not to give out too much information here, but basically I do impressive shit other than IT. But doing IT is a good skill to have, just like working on cars, and you can get into higher up IT positions. Working helpdesk, not a great place to stay. But thats how I met her, and she had no problem going out with this "dorky IT guy"
Dude I am the same if not worse dynamic except I am different and she is different. Considering AWALT she is different because I am. I guess I am not as beta as I feel.
TRP posts here would lead me to believe I should run and hide from this chick. But after a year she seems to be proving herself a worthwhile LTR.
I have to stop reading this sub sometimes. I only ever feel inadequate, start to wonder, or worry when I come here. If your not good at determining your own SMV this place can really make you feel like shit.
I dunno my two cents, and I guess a "field report".
edit: grammar and stuff.
Namkcalb 8y ago
You might have changed a man's life with the comment, let's just hope he has the guts to take it on board
luciansolaris 8y ago
If he could, he'd be a blithering idiot to!
mojo_juju 8y ago
Yep.
I have a relative who is a lawyer who makes 6 figures, has her own practice, and holds a city government position. Her husband is an artist who doesn't make much $.
After about 20 yrs of marriage, she banged one of her lawyer colleagues (at least one). Husband knows, but he's too broke to leave (extended family also knows...).
There you have it.
Ronin11A 8y ago
This point cannot be stressed enough.
She should want to fuck your brains out because you make her tingle, not as a favor for giving her more money to play with.
Black-rogue 8y ago
If this is what she says to you unmarried... Just wait till you are married.
GTFO NOW
QuantifiedDisgust 8y ago
I'm not a fan of commenting or telling others to drop a girl, but this thread has the right idea. I know we're only getting one side but it's a story we all know the ending to. I would get out now before she ruins your life for her own fun.
EndowedTurtle 8y ago
Gabe newell is a saint.... A SAINT
ProtoPill 8y ago
/u/skulktofade, this advice is critical for you to understand. I was in this field, at the top, for a long time. Your girlfriend will be surrounded by top-tier, extroverted men, who are powerful, charismatic, and connected. You need to understand, and everyone here needs to understand, that women (and men) in the legal profession always get caught up in its hype and glamor. I would advise you to seriously take a look at the nature of the profession and what it will likely do to your girlfriend. Make no mistake, if alpha males are collected in any one place, it is in the law.
JP_Whoregan 8y ago
It is much the same in the field of medicine. My kid cousin just graduated UF with a degree in medicine and just took a job as head pharmacist at a local hospital; he is married, yet is hit on all the fucking time by nurses and female orderlies. He's not muscular or even that overtly masculine. But the position and the doctorate degree breeds vaginal tingles. Just like law.
GreyMooseVovda 8y ago
this is a late reply, but don't pharmacists attend pharmaceutical school, which is rather more like occupational therapy or anatomy, NOT the same level as an MD? Its still 4 years, then 2 years studying meds and 1 year dispensing them, but I think cardiovascular surgery might get him more pussy
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NightwingTRP 8y ago
Can confirm. I have a friend who is in an LTR with a girl who works in the legal profession. She's constantly looking to branch swing (and has actively interviewed me, when my friend would pop to the bathroom, for said branch swing. Not happening on my watch, but doesn't mean it won't happen on the watch of someone who doesn't care about my friend.)
TRPhd 8y ago
She'd be doing him a favor to branch swing.
It might rip his guts out, but it would leave him free to find a nice kindergarten teacher.
Moneyley 8y ago
As many posts on TRP say, this is just how women are. Brah, at $60k a year you're doing very well; better than average, its always the goal to go get more, I agree with her on that. HOWEVER, you chase the money FOR YOURSELF, not for her. Many TRP'ers are happy at $45k, maybe even $40k but they are happy for THEMSELVES and not for OTHER people.
TLDR: She is basically engulfed in alpha powerhouses all day, then comes home to you and expects you to be her emotional tampon. Relationship is dead. Time to move on.
waynebradysworld 8y ago
You give way too much respect to lawyers. Many of them are blue pill fucks who only understand one very specific way of thinking.
postvasthrowaway 8y ago
His username is also a portmanteau of characters from the game "Natural Selection" so that's pretty much confirmed.
This analogy might actually work, but even just from this one post I can see that OP has his head pretty far down in the sand.
htbf 8y ago
I should have went to law school. I'm 26. Is it too late ?
CynicsChoice 8y ago
If you can find a way to do it financially, then no. I'm 31 and I wish to god I'd started working towards a new career at 26. It's never too late though.
OfficerDarrenWilson 8y ago
This shit is why the white race is going extinct. Thanks, feminism.
LugerDog 8y ago
This right here. If this dude goes through with this he is one of the dumbest people here on Reddit and that says a lot.
[deleted] 8y ago
Am a male lawyer, get out while you still can.
Muddpup64 8y ago
Care to explain your rationale in more detail? Please
[deleted] 8y ago
It's like fucking your business partner. It's not a relationship, it's a business transaction.
Even an escort would love me more.
Muddpup64 8y ago
This is because you or she is a lawyer? Shitty
rpscrote 8y ago
A-fucking men. All the good female lawyers are masculinized by the experience
SureImShore 8y ago
Right on the money, on all accounts.
I recognized this guy's writing style and sob story. He's been posting about this cunt for months on here and asktrp. He never changes and he refuses to reconsider the marriage. He's a fucking lost cause. He'll be back in a year or so after she's fucking another dude and he gets divorce raped.
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balhere 8y ago
I don't aggree. Never listen to what a woman says. She doesn't mean it. She knows she made a bad investment and she is now trying to pressure him to become a better one. She likes him and obviously not for his money. Pick your battles! Don't fall into her trap of making this all about money. Use dread game, tell her if she doesn't like how much you are making she can go get herself a rich lawyer. If she really wanted to she would have done so allready.
invader_red 8y ago
Why would she have gotten a lawyer? They're not married. There aren't any joint assets that's he's talked about yet. What could you possibly "not agree" with? I'm genuinely curious.
balhere 8y ago
If he doesn't play it right, yes this could happen but he's got a lot more bargaining chips the she's got. I would aggree if he were making a lot of money, but what I have read it doesn't look like this woman is in this relationship for the money. We all know that a woman doesn't date a lesser man. She wouldn't be with him if his only value would be his career.
mugatucrazypills 8y ago
Bender says this woman is going to Claire.
vorverk 8y ago
Please listen to this guy. Get out while you can. It might be hard to get out now, but in n years she will make it 1000000x harder.
mugatucrazypills 8y ago
Pay 30k now or 3M later.
You decide.
True unicorn love conquers all.
DforDeadpool 8y ago
To /u/skulk2fade , ABORT NOW! ABORT!
Lol this made me laugh.
Woosah_Motherfuckers 8y ago
We're all on Reddit, do people not have steam accounts?
rossiFan 8y ago
As they say in mil aviation:
EJECT EJECT EJECT!
Gadnuk_ 8y ago
Or on the ground it's time to pop smoke and haul ass
iam-mike 8y ago
Fuck no don't be intimidated by your partner being higher value and hanging out with higher value people.
I find this the perfect example of how TRP can be the light at the end of the tunnel. You have a motive to better yourself all the time bringing literally your best self. You shouldn't have to settle for anything less just because she has high standards or whatever. Don't do it for her though.
For me this looks like a threefold path:
A) You divorce her softly, claim anything that's yours, settle for less than what you're owed since she's a lawyer after all...
B) You stop giving a shit about her reaction to anything you do. That means, you want and need sex, and if she can't give it to you you will get it elsewhere. I'm not talking about dread game here, I'm talking about actually detaching yourself from the inside of her panties and becoming a man - but it will work like dread game.
C) You don't do anything about your happiness and wish some day "things will be better"
In all three scenarios you will have to keep bettering yourself in all aspects. My suspicion is you settled down and let yourself go...
TRPhd 8y ago
Red Pill and LTR is already hard-mode. Add lawyer into the mix and it is old Doom-style Hell mode, no chance. You just slaughter demon after demon hopelessly until you are inevitably dragged down in blood, pain and gore. I'm all for challenging one's self, but I wouldn't do so by jumping from a plane without a fucking parachute.
Purecorrupt 8y ago
Yah when I read
All I could think was stop telling her that and go get it.
VasiliyZaitzev 8y ago
I dunno. It's probably fun screwing a lawyer than the other way around for ounce. /rimshot.
Questionablechoice 8y ago
Yes but why buy the cow when you get the milk for free.
GC0W30 8y ago
Be like Chad!
Milk the cow while she uses some weak bull's credit card to pay for your dinner and hotel room....
blue_27 8y ago
Because then you end up holed up in Oregon without any snacks.
VasiliyZaitzev 8y ago
I went for the joke. I am not advocating cattle purchases.
chaseemall 8y ago
Cattle consumption on the other hand gives you the protein and cholesterol you need to build muscle, synthesize testosterone and feel like a man.
VasiliyZaitzev 8y ago
I like a good steak or burger now and again also; I don't marry the steak.
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pirateninj4 8y ago
Dump this woman immediately and take a look at yourself. Honeymoon to Europe? This bitch is already trying to live her high life. You're gonna put yourself in debt to please her and she'll hate you for it.
Get out man. Get out now.
Muddpup64 8y ago
Not marriage material. Run hard, run fast.
remyseven 8y ago
Seriously dump this girl. She's too hard to satisfy.
RPanonymoose 8y ago
I saw that too. 60k/yr salary and a honey moon to Europe...lol wtf
the_number_2 8y ago
"But baby, it's the MAN'S JOB to pay for the honeymoon!"
LugerDog 8y ago
Yup and she's in law with a degree from a high an mighty school. Dude will NEVER be able to compete. All those alphas putting him down for being a "nerd" in IT. She'll spread wide open the second she thinks it will boost her career. GTFO NOW MAN!!!
neoj8888 8y ago
No shit. Dump that shark and take your damn self to Europe.
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mugatucrazypills 8y ago
Yes ! If you do make any coin, she's going to become pregnant immediately and that 62k income of hers will disappear and the law degree goes on the shelf. Law firm is just a dating service for her seeking arrangement tendencies.
cptspiffy 8y ago
Even if she goes the other way and makes a ton of money, he's still screwed for all the reasons listed above. There is no win here.
[deleted] 8y ago
Lol before he makes any more money preferably.
[deleted] 8y ago
Exactly. What the fuck... I'd end that relationship immediately.
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dongpal 8y ago
this.
also , only way to win would be to not play the game. you need to be better than everyone else in another aspect than money.
mugatucrazypills 8y ago
Strange game professor. The only winning move is not to play.
IamGale 8y ago
/u/skulk2fade, read this. Then read it again.