Her friend's BF(27 yo) is a totally nice guy. He spends tons of money on her and helps with everything (he even carries her bag always!). Yesterday he bought tickets for some only for girl show(quite expensive) for her and all her close girl friends and my GF was invited to join.
So she was happy to accept it and started telling how this guy is nice and caring and so on (with that kind of look, that she expects same from me). I laughed and asked if he already sold his kidney. Then i asked if he is still a virgin. She told they still didn't have sex yet (1.5 years passed!). Then i told that waiting for the bus will not work best and he should order a taxi for them. Because i'm sure that she would ask me to bring them there and back. Even it is couple miles away from me, i don't want to do that.
It was the third time she was talking about how this guy is good etc. First two times i just ignored it.
I'm thinking about what if she starts complaining like 'he buys that and you don't, he does that and you don't'. How to handle this behavior right?
[deleted] 11y ago
I would just say "you need to stop this comparing bullshit. if he is so good, you should just go date him."
Stayinghereforreal 11y ago
Yup. OP talked too much about it.
[deleted] 11y ago
Yeah, I had enough of that shit not long ago. My gf was going on about how my (thoroughly beta) mate was all about doing shit for his girlfriend, always being nice etc. When I pointed out that she fucking supports him because he works about ten hours a week, she kept that shit up. It wasn't until I "withdrew" some of the shit that I do for her that she saw a clearer picture. Enjoy walking everywhere, bitch. You've had four years to get your license, and I'm sick of giving rides to ungrateful cunts.
[deleted] 11y ago
this answer is far too emotional.
remove the first half of the sentence and you're good. stop being so angry over simple stuff; that emotional shit is beta.
frequentlywrong 11y ago
Women are emotional. They need emotions in a relationship, wether good or bad. Him giving her an emotional slap is completely ok.
redbluepilling 11y ago
You're wrong here, which is somewhat expected given your username. You don't compete with women on an emotional level. You be emotionless/nonchalant/indifferent and that will trigger emotions that work in your favor. You're not giving her what she wants so she'll have to change.
raloa 11y ago
Why not just say nonchalantly "if he's so good, why don't you date him?" Same effect
Mr_Bell 11y ago
Even better, if I may add:
"Go date him then."
RedditBlueit 11y ago
Or more Alpha, "Go date him then. I've got your replacement picked out."
Mr_Bell 11y ago
"And I heard she does [insert some sexual maneuver the current GF doesn't do]."
[deleted] 11y ago
How long have you been dating this woman?
Most likely you've reached that point in the relationship where she's shit testing you because her "this guy is marriage material" has clicked and she's putting up last minute defenses against herself.
If it's only been a couple months then just agree and amplify:
"see is he's up for dating 2 women, i could use a breather"
fgdadfgfdgadf 11y ago
That's not a boyfriend, he's a slave
jacobman 11y ago
I don't personally run rp theory in my life. It might burn me in the future. I'm young. We'll see. Anyways, from what I can tell, I think you have to be willing to move on to another girl at any moment to successfully be rp. That means that if she starts comparing you to other guys who do favors all the time and complaining about it, you tell her she can go find herself a guy who will kiss the ground she walks then.
Mengs87 11y ago
Start comparing her to other women.
"Honey, do I look fat in this?"
"Well Jessie (she's just someone I work with) would look awesome in that since she has bigger boobs."
incraved 11y ago
I don't agree with this passive-aggressive behaviour. I think the right thing to do is to be straight/direct.
[deleted] 11y ago
that's funny, but its a very girl thing to say
DrMungMung 11y ago
Start talking about how great this guy's girlfriend is to your girlfriend.. suggest swapping.. only if you don't have to wait 1.5 years for sex.
YouDislikeMyOpinion 11y ago
Reminds me of this thread from yesterday: http://redditlog.com/snapshot/25354/31745
You should have a look there. The situation in my opinion is very similar. I have a reply there that would apply to this situation as well, although you may have to modify it appropriately.
cossackman 11y ago
How old is this bish? 25 or something?
Never date a woman older than 20. They simply don't put out like younger women and older women are self-entitled into thinking their boyfriends' money is theirs.
mister_zd 11y ago
Ignore it. Its full on shit testing.
FortunateBum 11y ago
This is all you really need to know. It isn't a romantic relationship. It's a friendship.
[deleted] 11y ago
You want to never take anything seriously. It is just a shit test. She knows goddamn why she isn't dating that guy, even if she cannot verbalize it. She is basically saying "OP, I like you but I also have these irrational, societally-implanted urges to only be happy if my BF buys me Prada. Please clear up the contradiction for me and demonstrate why I should be ecstatic to have you, as my brain cannot take the conflict of society versus reality".
Do you understand? Ignoring is not optimal because she wants to know if you can bitch-slap those thoughts from her mind.
"Cool."
or
"That's awesome, I need a friend like that. I wish you would call me taxis."
Playfully. If you get butthurt about it and say something like "Hey, quit comparing me to this jackass, he is probably horrible at sex!" then she KNOWS that you were perturbed by what she said and uncomfortable / defensive. Meaning you failed the shittest. If you logic with her "that guy is nice, but girls don't want a nice guy. See, I read on TRP that.." you faiiiiiled the shit test.
Hell, if you even merit her bitching with enough concern to respond in an articulate, thoughtful sentence, you probably failed the shit test.
Go overboard with this "not taking shit seriously". She is like "STAN PROPOSED TO SARAH, SHE IS SO LUCKY I WISH I WAS HER..."
"Sarah... Sarah... I know a loooot of Sarahs... which one?"
"MY BEST FRIEND SARAH THE ONE WHO ALWAYS GETS NICE THINGS"
"The tittish one or the leggish one?"
"OMG HER TITS AREN'T EVEN BETTER THAN MINE"
"oooook, Tittish Sarah. That's cool. Tell her congrats."
She gets flustered/mad/aroused, but inside her head is all cleared up. She is with you because there is no way she could EVER in a billion years turn you into her friend's BF.
frequentlywrong 11y ago
"After 1.5 years they have not had sex, I will continue doing the exact opposite to him thank you very much. If you like him so much why don't you go fuck him."
"I don't give a fuck what a 27 year old virgin does."
[deleted] 11y ago
At that point in the convo i would have burst out in laughter and just walked away.
pineapples1987 11y ago
If you like him so much why don't you go and NOT fuck him.
hashtagpound2point2 11y ago
That second response is perfect. It completely cuts the girl off from any more comparisons and might help her realize that the guy she thinks is so great is obviously doing something wrong.
"Hmmm... This guy buys her all this stuff and treats his girl like a queen, he's one of the nicest guys I know, but he's still a virgin and can't get laid. How does that work? Hmmm..."
gg_s 11y ago
Not so fast.
"He's waiting for her. He's so sweet!"
Women eat up this kind of male self-sacrifice bullshit for bragging rights toward other women and guilting men into submission. Make no mistake about it, women subconsciously despise this weak behavior and all respect for the man dissolves.
nicethingyoucanthave 11y ago
If this is serious, then ask who the girl is having sex with - because let's be honest here, she's having sex with someone.
Ask your girlfriend why a guy should treat a girl like that when she's fucking someone else. I'd love to hear her response.
[deleted] 11y ago
If there is any aspect of your relationship that is not perfect, your gf will find a way to complain about it regardless of how amazing everything else is.
About women and demonstrating love by spending money:
A former gf frequently mentioned that she loved how her ex would buy these incredibly thoughtful presents for her, obviously insinuating that I hadn't done so. She eventually repaid his demonstration of affection and devotion by dumping him.
It took a lot of restraint to not point out the obvious by saying "What did all those presents get him?"
If your gf is incredibly materialistic or selfish, or you merely have different priorities, you should re-evaluate your relationship. Never cede frame to your gf. Otherwise, she'll dictate the terms of the relationship and simultaneously resent you for putting her in that position. If you begin to compromise heavily on the type of relationship you want, it will only get worse with time.
[deleted] 11y ago
If you've ever read roissy, you'd know that at different stages in a relationship come with different shit tests. Pretty sure this is actually an example on the list.
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2009/08/13/relationship-game-week-agree-and-amplify/
GIRL: “Sometimes you can be such an asshole. My ex knew how to treat a lady.”
YOU: “I bet he did. You should beg him to take you back. I could use the peace and quiet.”
Basically the same message. As it is with almost all shit tests, agree and amplify.
IllimitableMan 11y ago
I'll do that anyway because women are physically weak although if she expects it or seems entitled I'll shit test her, make her qualify "say the magic word" and all that crap, otherwise she can carry her own fucking bags. The only persons bags I carry without questions are the matriarchs in my family. Why? Because I know they love and respect me and aren't just using me as some disposable fucking peon.
LMFAO. She has the perfect beta provider... a 27 year old man who gets no sex from his long term girlfriend... birthdays have been, christmases have passed, new years parties have happened and she's still not put out? WOW. I'm fucking speechless. Especially when you consider the current mating paradigm and there are literally guys left, right and centre all around just going out, grabbing random girls, making out and fucking them within minutes-hours of meeting them.
If they broke up tomorrow it's not his non-existent sexual technique she'll be missing, it'll be his fucking credit card. I'm kinda fucking pissed a guy can be that fucking retarded, she is mercilessly exploiting him for economic benefit and giving nothing in return.. the only thing worse than being involuntary celibate is being in a fucking long term relationship with a woman and being involuntary celibate. Just because he hasn't had sex in a year and a half doesn't mean his girlfriend hasn't, she's probably got some alpha fucking her on the side fulfilling that alpha fucks beta bucks sexual plurality they're inclined to operate. Fucking sickening.
Tell her you don't give a fuck about her friends boyfriend and if she wants a human credit card that she should feel free to fuckoff.
Don't be scared to stand up to her or you're being pimped by the pussy. This shit will only escalate into more attempted behaviour modification on her part if you don't stamp out the fire before it turns into flames.
Oh by the way, if your chick is late 20's (27+) be wary of her bass bashing biological clock wanting a baby and doing whatever it mercilessly takes to get it (from you, or someone else.) You generally want a quarantine zone around your dick with these chicks aka wrap up or get snipped.
[deleted] 11y ago
Paternity testing is a must - Always!
Kernes 11y ago
Oh yes, my girl told about one time, while she went abroad. Before the trip she said to him that things not working out and he is not her BF anymore, i do not remember the exact words (my GF tells often about them), but she sounded very vague. So i doubt the guy knew where relationship was.
hashtagpound2point2 11y ago
Typical.
Absolutely typical.
redbluepilling 11y ago
Hahah! So she gave herself a free-pass (guiltless foreign fucking!) & kept his credit card. Brilliant.
RedBigMan 11y ago
Oh she's put out... Just not with him.
IllimitableMan 11y ago
lol
alt30313 11y ago
Agree with everything you wrote except the what you wrote in response to this line: he even carries her bag. I think he's saying the bluepill bitch carries her handbag when they are out. He's one of those men that's secure with his masculinity.
Edit: OP clarified below. The "man" in question carries/holds all types of bags for his GF.
Kernes 11y ago
Any kind of bag. And there is another story. Couple months ago me, my GF and her friend went on a birthday party. I carried some present and her friend carried some bag of presents. My GF(carried nothing) started hinting that i should take her friends bag as well. It was not heavy but bulky. What i did basically i rearranged our stuff that EVERYBODY started carry something.
IllimitableMan 11y ago
Lmfao. I was thinking shopping bags. Fuck the handbag holding bullshit, one of the lamest shit tests going.
VZPurp 11y ago
When I was in China, guys were always walking around holding their girlfriend's handbags.
People can claim culture all they want when it comes to relationship dynamics, but they looked like the most emasculated dudes. They might as well have been walking around with their balls in their hands they looked pathetic.
YouDislikeMyOpinion 11y ago
The thing I notice the most about asian couples is that sort of dynamic. One phenomenon I've been trying to understand recently is why asian men spend BIG bucks on cosmetics for their girls. I'm talking like dropping 1k on a couple of skin creams, some makeup, and some eye serum. 5 products in total.
VZPurp 11y ago
I don't know why they do, it doesn't exactly help them, and when they try that stuff in the west they annihilate their own chances.
YouDislikeMyOpinion 11y ago
"Can you hold my purse" is my favorite shit test to creatively say no to.
"Do I look like a woman to you?"
"Oh look, I see a chump that will hold your purse for you right over there"
If they push it more, I just take the purse and put it down somewhere. A ledge, the ground, anywhere.
If it's a clutch (mini purse), I take it and start examining it "look at the material on this thing, it's so nice" meanwhile I start opening it up "oh what's this" I begin to pull out something that looks interesting. You'll see how fast they'll take it back. They have to know you're doing it so they take it back, and not so you want to snoop obviously.
narcissus88 11y ago
What about taking the purse, opening it up and going through it?
redbluepilling 11y ago
Even before TRP, I'd say no, take it if they persisted, set it down and start to walk away or start to rifle though it. That shit stopped.
kudosxv 11y ago
"Will you hold my purse?"
"Do I look like a bitch?"
[deleted] 11y ago
I would love to use this one, but I don't think it would translate to well to spanish.
Ragna_The_Blood_Edge 11y ago
me miro como un puto?
[deleted] 11y ago
Sounds waaaay to aggressive in Spanish.
alt30313 11y ago
Fuck that shit. Seriously do not buy women expensive gifts and trips. You don't have to and they wont appreciate it.
If you start to go down that road she'll start to expect it. How many times have you heard women talk about what they're accustomed to/deserve because they allow their men to breathe the air around them.
Dude has signed himself up to be the beta provider. The second he can't provide she'll leave him for someone that can.
Serious question: What kind of man has a significant other for 1.5 years without having sex?
He's setting himself up for this I'm used to this... I used to that ..I'm accustomed to this ... I want ...Give me some money... and ultimately alimony
Kernes 11y ago
Software engineers are well known betas.
Redpillc0re 11y ago
You probably don't know any.
jolly--roger 11y ago
.. those that didn't take TRP yet anyway
/edit: tense
Zebleblic 11y ago
Take
jolly--roger 11y ago
Right you are, grammarfuhrer.
[deleted] 11y ago
Jesus... How old is this mangina? Has he ever touched a tit before?
alt30313 11y ago
He's 27, hasn't had sex with his GF of 1.5 years and maybe a virgin.
(Not that there's anything inherently wrong with the no sex thing if its his personal choice but his method of courting his GF is ineffective and cringe inducing)
[deleted] 11y ago
In college, a really cute indian girl was totally into me. I was 23, she was 27. She then made mention that she was a virgin. I told her straight up, "I wouldn't ever date a virgin. Sex is too important to a relationship". A month later, she came back and said she was ready to lose it. Score...
Mangina, from the story, would just get his ass dumped. I'm sure she would find a way to retain his credit card tho.
[deleted] 11y ago
I dated an asexual for 2 years.
alt30313 11y ago
Great. Hope you had a healthy relationship; Give and take, equality, ect. I'm not prejudiced and think you can have healthy rewarding asexual relationships.
In my opinion it sounds like the "man" in question had a very one-sided unhealthy relationship. When OP said she temporarily broke up with him when she went abroad, I cringed. There's nothing inherently wrong with the no sex thing if its personal choice but his method of courting his GF is ineffective. In my opinion he's being used.
veggie_girl 11y ago
99% of "asexuals" are full of shit. There have been multiple studies done and its just a self identified religion based on "how I think I might feel about sex."
Himteckerjam 11y ago
So I'm lying to myself about my complete lack of sexual attraction to people? Good to know.
Damn these broken genitals.
EDIT: And according to the mods here I am not allowed to exist, either. Thanks for the ban, I guess?
0110101001101011 11y ago
This isn't red pill advice, just my general advice that I tell depressed people sometimes.
Don't look at other people's lives, the only time to look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure they have enough food in it.
Otherwise you will always look at other people's shit and think you deserve better, when in reality everyone has their own struggles and if they are better off in one department I can almost guarantee they'll be worse off in another.
[deleted] 11y ago
Anything within the spirit of ''always be ready to lose her'' seems appropriate. (one of the 16 commandments of poon)
Don't step on your dick to make a woman click. You may think you have to, but ultimately you don't.
[deleted] 11y ago
I spend a ton of money, but my girlfriend also does. I also help her with a lot of stuff and she helps me with a lot of stuff.
I fail to see how this is a problem. Also, if he makes more money than her but she puts forth an honest effort to contribute I don't see how that's an issue.
Why are you trying to judge another guy for how he lives his life?
alt30313 11y ago
If he's happy with the relationship the way it is good for him.
Great sounds like you have a healthy relationship. Give and take and equality are good. In my opinion it sounds like the "man" in question has a very one-sided unhealthy relationship. Did you miss where she temporarily broke up with him when she went abroad? There's nothing inheriently wrong with the no sex thing if its personal choice but his method of courting his GF is ineffective.
[deleted] 11y ago
I certainly did miss it. My bad. I guess it just irritates me (out of my own igrorance) to see people have unhealthy relationships and expect their's to be as good as mine.
edit: edited first sentence for clarity
[deleted] 11y ago
[deleted]
[deleted] 11y ago
Can you please elaborate? I lead a successful and fulfilling life by everyone's standards except for a very small and jaded portion of the internet.
Nitzi 11y ago
r/relationshipadvice
[deleted] 11y ago
I'll save you the trouble of posting there.
Go to couples therapy (that you will pay) in order to realize that you need to "man" up and thread her right.
I hate that sub so much...