This post in the relationship_advice subreddit ("she_26f_has_canceled_or_rescheduled_on_me_33m_19") is a stunning example of men who have zero abundance:
This guy literally has this girl cancel on their "2nd" date 19 times. The 1st date sounded boring as fuck and she is stringing him along as plan Z. This guy just accepts everything she says when she last minute cancels their date. Examples are things like:
Sunday, Dec. 30th will be too busy as she isn't sure what her work schedule is, so we reschedule to meet for New Years Eve after she finishes work at 9:30 on Monday, Dec. 31st.
Dec. 31st I get a text saying her boss wants her to work late. We do not spend New Years Eve together
Sound like someone that actually wanted to have date #2 or someone that nabbed another guy for NYE?
January 2nd, she texts me to tell me she forgot she has a dental appointment in the evening. I suggest if she is hinting she doesn't want to see me again, that she should just let me know. She says she is not hinting at anything - that it isn't me, rather it is her "crazy life" lately.
Dental appointments in the evenings? Even the busiest dentist i have been to end their day at around 6pm.
Dont be this guy. She was his only prospect and he still thinks he has a shot at her.
I told her she had me questioning whether she wanted to keep things on a purely text based level, or if she had been seeing some other guy over the past two months instead. She says that isn't the case, and it's purely been her work, appointments, and family stuff. Says if she wanted me to leave her alone, she would have told me. And she asked me to not have those types of thoughts anymore.
She then asked how we should handle our second date. I suggest we go out and spend the day together on Saturday (Feb 2nd), she agrees but isn't sure about her schedule. She says she will confirm and get back to me. I then suggest we meet on Monday (Feb 4th) for dinner, to which she agrees and says she is putting it in her planner.
We have sparse contact again until yesterday, Thursday Jan. 31st, when she is the one to go ahead and contact me, but all her text is about is how she is apologizing for the lack of communication and she is not ignoring me she is just busy. Still no confirmation about Saturday.
Today, on February 1st, she texts me to tell me she has started to "feel shitty", and might be getting sick. So she might be too sick to do Saturday, and will need to have us push our second date back a day or two.
YungYungGoat 5y ago
This guy can't take a hint. Her disinterest isn't explicitly stated - but it's absolutely implicitly implied. If she wanted to meet up, she would make it happen. Sure, sometimes life happens and you need to rain check. But to string someone along for two months?
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Move on and spin other plates.
SeamusAwl 5y ago
Yes that is what he should have done after the 1st time. But in the post he clearly stated that he didn't have much luck, except for with this girl. Poor guy takes a blue pill after every meal.
p3n1x 5y ago
And she smelled that desperation and weak frame on the first date.
Compeliminator 5y ago
this kind of shit used to happen to me more than i care to admit. i usually was seeing multiple women but there was allways one i really liked that would do this . It took me awhile to learn not to fall into these goofy bitches trap and keep trying to reschedule. once in awhile something really will come up with a women but if they are interested in you they will make the effort to see you again. simple rule is to never contact them 1st after they blow you off. if you agree to plans they make the 2nd time and that gets blown off its time to ghost thier ass. That said hearing about women doing this to other people and remembering what happened to me still pisses me off to this day. On a personal level I don't understand this. Why wouldn't you just say to somebody "I'm not interested" rather than putting up with someone you don't want to hear from contacting you constantly ? The thing is I know the answer and that's what disgusts me so much.
odaklanan_insan 5y ago
It was a Korean chick from my class, last time this happened to me... She said "we had party with friends and I'm so tired today, can we do it tomorrow or next week?"
I just texted her "sure" and never tried to contact her again. A couple days later she caught me in the library, and asked if we could schedule the 2nd date.
I said "sure" LOL XD then I lied back on my chair and genuinely fell asleep. (I didn't get much sleep te night before and studying makes me sleepy) She knew she was nexted at that moment.
If something like that ever happens to you, retalliate with the brutality of abundance. bitches deserve no mercy.
Aesthetik_1 5y ago
Did it also happen after you had sex with them and were somewhat familiar? I can understand why they’d do it when you’ve only met once or twice but not if you are aquinted for months.
Compeliminator 5y ago
allmost allways women who either only went out with me once or i had just met. if a women you know pretty well starts blowing you off its usually not a mystery why.
_do_not_read_this_ 5y ago
Corrollary to the point:
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dr_warlock 5y ago
Scarcity and lack of busyness warps your perception of time. Time seems so much slower. Painfully slow. Especially when you wanna bust a nut. Stakes seem higher. So much 'time' to overthink and overvalue. When it's all you got, just the slight possibility it might work out makes you cling until you fall instead of going with the flow reality has set for you. Then 7 days pass by and you realize a week isn't that long. Bet you'll have instinctive gut feelings that you're overinvesting and that she's less invested than you but rationalize them away out of desperateness. You wont listen to anything but a definite no instead of the implied signs that you're supposed to read into. In the first stages, you can't rush the dance. In the middle, sometimes logistics don't work.
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Happened to me with this one girl. Hot, crazy, great tits. Sex was always good and uncivilized. Slammed that ass every chance I got. Usually kept in check and had it under control. Had this going on and off for almost 6 months. The following weekend after our last sesh, I was dying for more, but logistics wasn't working out and I blew it trying to force it. The signs were there, but I rationalized them away. Boner over-powered reason. Then there I was, 7 days later at work thinking, "I couldn't wait a week?".
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Think in terms of a year. If you bang one girl every 2 weeks, that's 21 bangs. Two girls alternating weeks, 52 bangs. If that seems infrequent with a non-girlfriend, if that seems like too long of a wait, it's a sign of a deeper issue, that you have nothing else going on. Work on that.
Sad_Sleeper 5y ago
Now this one i call toxic masculinity. Some beta Billy not taking a hint. And he will be like, why all women find excuses to go out on a date with me.
For me personally if i ask her on a date and she refuses 2 times, well it is hard next.
RPSilverfox 5y ago
Had this same thing happen recently. She works near me and after getting serious IOIs I asked her to coffee and she said yes. Then just before 12 she says she forgot about something she had to do on lunch hour but definitely wanted to reschedule. After 3 weeks and IOIs continuing hard I ask her if she wants to get lunch. She says yes. At 11:50 she tells me she’s not feeling well but she’ll be in touch to reschedule. That was 2 weeks ago. I won’t ask again and since I still see her from time to time I just act like everything is normal. If it happens once asking again is optional but if it happens twice then shut it down. If she does initiate a reschedule then go with your gut on how to respond based on individual circumstances, but in my case I’ll just say I have other plans.
ChyTRP 5y ago
This used to be me.
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Now this is me:
Get cute girls number from gym> Arrange to meet > blows me off 2 hours before > no problems, some other time > blows me off again > number/snap deleted and never initiated conversation at gym again.
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My time is valuable. I've got friends to meet, skills to hone, books to read, I will meet and get numbers from other, more attractive women in the future as my SMV continues to skyrocket through gym and career building. I might not be in a position of abundance in the dating market yet, but I'll borrow from that future abundance.
All people get the benefit of the doubt once, waste my time twice and you're gone.
LightSkinKen 5y ago
As a man no one should be confirming or validating anything for you. Pick up on the signs and make a decision.
Try #1 -“ hey let’s link and get drinks
Wait a week
Try#2 “ hitting up The city tonight link up”
If that doesn’t work I delete her #. No questions. It’s that simple.
2 tries and get the fuck out of there
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buttgoogler 5y ago
I feel like if I actually saw comments to that post I'd have a stroke.
Same fucking cringe can also be found in extreme amounts at r\sex. It seriously pains me to read this stuff. It pains me so much yet feels great to look at it from redpilled perspective.
MirrorThaoss 5y ago
At this point it doesn't even need redpill, it only needs common sense.
In fact most of redpill is having common sense when you take a step back
buttgoogler 5y ago
That's the thing. Looking back at how I've seen thing through my beta-glasses back in the day sends shivers down my spine. I was so blind to most of the shit, it's insane.
JayRock379 5y ago
Why the fuck would anyone do this? Why would she fuck with him like this? I mean, is it all really just for her to boost her self-esteem?
Ceeda 5y ago
To save face. Women cannot handle the responsiblity of her actions, and the hamster will apin accordingly.
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