So I’ve been having a tough week, working 12+ hours a day, but keeping the gym routine going. It all came to a head yesterday night when the contract was finally agreed and signed. Tonight comes around, and I’m actually early at home to help with the kids, horse around a bit, do some A&A when they start misbehaving. By 8:30, kids are in bed, kitchen is clean, and we’re both sitting on the couch when the torrent comes.
I sit still and silent, not reacting to all the distortions, outright lies, and thinly veiled threats of leaving. She’s emotional, I get it. But all the sentences start with “you”, accusations left right and centre.
After about 15 min, she’s run out and f things to say, and I ask if she’s finished.
I start by saying that if she’s going to speak to me the way she was speaking to me then, and on monday, she won’t be getting anything from me.
Absolute blow-out after that. The amount of shit was indescribable. I held my relaxed pose, looking her in the eye, not reacting. Angrier she gets. At one point, when I can’t get a word in, I say I’m not really interested in being the silent partner in a monologue. She’s really not happy!
At one point she is ordering me to sit down, grab a pen and paper and write what I think is important in a relationship, like some misbehaved child. I tell her “yes ma’m” like some slave boy would tell her master, but with a shit-eating grin on my face.
Wife exit left, I’m alone. I do what any self-respecting man would do: put on my workout clothes and went to the gym.
By the time I came back have a shit and a shower, she has cooled down and wants to listen.
I take about 3 min: if she wanted to have another morning, all she needs to do is to speak to me like an adult who is on her side, and we will find a solution. But if the conversation starts with demands and what she thinks the solution is, she won’t find me cooperative.
The on goes a shitshow of how hard her life is, and how she wears the entire burden ( I almost lost my composure and started laughing). I keep silent or do just joke with the stuff she spews. She’s on about how it’s her right to have 3 mornings, and I’m like a Muslim husband dictating what she should be allowed to do, so I said we should all go get some yellow jackets (gilet jaune) and go to the street to start the revolution.
I might have gone a bit Rambo at times, but I was actually somewhat enjoying the sparring.
Where it ended up was her calling me a chauvinist and misgenist. She doesn’t seem to be able to get out of the mindset of me vs you, my right vs yours, no matter that I was just a broken record in repeating the mantra of “speak to me like an adult, and we’ll find a solution. Speak to me like a child, or an adversary, and you won’t get anything useful”.
She stomped out of the room and went to sleep in the kids bed. I actually feel quite relaxed and ready for bed.
I sometimes miss the blue pill concept that if I really engage and listen, and treat her with respect no matter how many distortions, lies and accusations, we will kiss and hug, and maybe have some pity sex. But in the end, that sort of behaviour is what made her think she would ever get anything out of me by telling me I’m going to have stop doing something I like. It’s a pity that such a simple concept can’t get through, but emotions have a strong grip in the deep root of the brain.
Thus is unvarnished reality of a red pill world. Either you keep your frame, or you’re a doormat.
There is a remote chance (by my calculations) that this may lead to a main event, so I’ll have to do some research tomorrow.