Repeated favors become obligations.

Because guys like you give it to them

Just don't lend anyone money, unless it's your family member or a really, and I mean REALLY close friend that needs immediate help, and you know there are slim chances that he'll pay you back.

Consider it a learning fee.

Most people get in financial problems for a reason: because they are shit with money. And because they are shit with money, they won't pay you back.

I mean, it's a dude from work for Christ sakes. Just tell him "well go work some more fucking hours, you lazy piece of shit".

Stranger: "can you do me a favor?"

Me: "yeah, for money."

Default answer, although I'm a rare breed.

When someone approaches me that looks like a bum, normally they ask for money.

"Excuse me, sir..."

"Nope."

"But you didn't even hear what I had to say!"

"Doesn't matter, the answer is no."

"God bless you, sir!" He replied with a sneer.

Don't care if they're asking for the time.

Don't care if they're asking for directions.

Don't care if they need to use my phone.

Exercise your use of the word NO.

Make it the default to any request starting out, and it'll be hard as hell for anyone to take advantage of you.

Neither a lender nor borrower be.

Tell the grifter you're ready to be repaid the money you lent him. He'll probably not pay and try to make you out to be the bad guy. Probably a good time to compare notes with others he's borrowed from, spread the word about his behavior, and make a borrowing-pariah out of him at this entire workplace.

People who go broke in a big way never miss any meals. It is the poor jerk who is shy a half slug who must tighten his belt. -Robert Heinlein

sounds like he might have a drug problem

long story short I gave it to him

Because people like you bend over backwards to get fucked over.

I found out he's also been going around collecting money from others as well.

Imagine that.

Maybe he spends his money on gambling, prostitutes and other addictions. Guys have issues like that.

Bronx tale.

https://youtu.be/78-4RobJQ0Y

Story time..

During the last 2014 world cup, a bunch of my friends started betting and we got pulled into this chat group.

James was one of my old friend that I've not met in over a decade (we live in different cities). He was really into soccer betting and apparently lost a few grands. Out of my surprise, Jame managed to borrow $5k from another friend of mine (Jack) in the chat group (they don't know each other prior to chatting and betting together in the chat group). Guess what happened, James went AWOL, he didn't quit the group, nor delete anyone. He just went radio silent and Jack never got his $5k back.

Jack tried to blame it on me. "I just thought he's your friend from childhood and he seemed solid." Well ya, and you're just a dumb rich dude, FFS I haven't met this guy since middle school. I was shocked too, but till this date, James still blames me.

Guess what's our hot topic during this world cup.

I’ve found that men like this don’t really feel a need to get better. They just feel “entitled” to it, for lack of a better word.

I’ve met a few men like this, and I’ve offered them what was essentially teaching them how to fish, but they’d rather take the fish because it’s just easier.

As someone else said in this thread, consider it a learning fee. You shouldn’t give your money to someone who is A) a good friend of yours (because that shit destroys relationships) or B) someone who doesn’t need the money more than they need to breathe (I.e. just someone who you know spends their money on things they shouldn’t like drugs, video games, or really anything that doesn’t go for the betterment of themselves.)

View it as you’re enabling their drug addiction, even if it isn’t directly that. They need to learn some hard lessons for theirselves, and you can’t teach them that because they just don’t want to learn them.

want to make a friend... then, make a friend.

want to lose a friend... loan them money.

It was really ok giving him money. Tho for anyone there should be limit how much you are willing to lend or give. And you were also ok not giving him anymore since he didnt pay back.

You know this saying. Keep your friends rich and keep your enemies rich. Then wait and see which is which.

Unless it's for gas money to get them home or buying them lunch if they are broke and dont have food, they can go bum on the corner of a busy intersection if they need money thhaaaaaaat bad, or they could get a second job.

Hey OP, I've got a bridge to sell you.

Get a bat, ask for your money back.

If not given back apply force using bat.

What you learn from this is:

The solution to their problem isn’t money, because their real problem isn’t a lack of money.

When people ask me for money, I tell them to find another job.

It’s worked so far on 5 out of 7 kids.

There are always sharks in the water. You are surprised that he exist but I am more surprised that people like you exist. NOW, i dont know how much he asked for... 10 bucks vs. 100 bucks.... I'd have no problem lending someone lunch money b/c they forgot something, but anything over lunch money wouldnt get my attention.

If i felt super nice that day, i might walk him to a bank and help him ask the teller "for a loan"

Knew a girl that did this, she was an alcoholic though. Had to play along as friends until I got my money back. Lesson learned.

Not everyone is built to be independent. Sad, but true.

Evolution hasn’t had the time to make us much different than the cave men we were 25000 years ago.

Do you think that back 25000 years ago that everyone was a hardworking son of a bitch? Or is it possible that there’s a certain type of individual who was a lying, stealing, raping son of a bitch who managed to pass on his shitty DNA by mooching off the more industrious cavemen? Yeah, you met one of those guys.

Evolution doesn’t care how you pass your DNA along, it just uses which ever way works. So there is always going to be certain individuals who are complete pieces of shit no matter what we do as a society to stop it. It’s the human condition.

I say good on you for giving him the benefit of the doubt and trying to help him, and good on you for not doing again when you learned he was a fuck

Givers should set limits cause takers rarely do.

Maybe its my fault for being too much of a nice guy.

This wasn't nice, this was weak. He asked and you gave. This means you lose and he wins.

I just don't understand as a man how you can beg someone you don't even really know for money especially at a place you work at..

It makes a lot more sense than someone who would hand over money in this situation.

Be aware OP. All beggars are also thieves. Never leave your belongings where this guy can get to them. Never let him know where you live or about your family, don't give him further access into your private life.

When money or things start to go missing at your workplace you know who to suspect first.

Yes, this guy probably has an addiction problem. No, he will not kick the habit. What do you think he was doing during his hiatus?

Stay the fuck away.