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- Hide Preview | 76 Comments | submitted 7 months ago by Rhalium [Post Locked]

she texts me back later. honestly wasnt expecting a response. was really just using her for practice at getting used to rejection. figure that all the good ones are taken. ive kinda set a goal for myself to approach to and talk to a random girl at least once every 24 hours.

thoughts on her response?

[-] moneymakingmiguel 364 Points 7 months ago

Her response? Irrelevant. You approaching? Relevant. Keep it up.

[-] CookieAdmiral 48 Points 7 months ago

Lol, best comment I saw today.

[-] Jay_x_Playboy 14 Points 7 months ago

My man

[-] SteveStJohn 126 Points 7 months ago

Her response is a request to join your orbit. Let her. Others will notice this girl approaching you at gym. Reward her for that every time and you'll create a mystique about yourself.

Females are more motivated by what other females do than anything else. It will create a success spiral of an increasing number of females being interested in you because other females are interested in you.

Who knows, she might get caught up in it herself in a few months.

Good luck!

[-] bxredpill 47 Points 7 months ago

Jordan Peterson talks about this a lot. He always references this phenomenon as the Pareto Distribution.

Basically boils down to this: “To those at the top, more will be given, and to those at the bottom everything will be taken.”

Pretty crazy shit. Or maybe I’m just fanboying. Lol

[-] fender1878 24 Points 7 months ago

Pareto refers to the 80/20 rule. I’m not sure I agree with the correlation to your quote. You’re actually quoting the Bible — Matthew 13:12.

The Pareto Distribution simply means that 20% of people create/cause 80% of the output. At work, 20% of the employees do 80% of the work. At a dinner party, 20% of the guests will eat 80% of the shrimp cocktail. 20% of guys get 80% of the woman.

Pareto doesn’t necessarily mean that being at the top guarantees you more or that being at the bottom gets more taken from you. I think you’re conflating two topics.

[-] bxredpill 2 Points 7 months ago

Yeah seems like I am. I was trying to emphasize the point made above me, that success breeds more success.

Guess I gotta learn to be more precise in my speech.

Cheers bro

[-] fender1878 2 Points 7 months ago

No worries man! And I agree with your overall assessment. Success leads to more success — it’s contagious.

[-] Casanova-Quinn 3 Points 7 months ago

It's more so "preselection" than what you described. A man who gets female attention makes other women interested because he has been deemed attractive by other women. In other words, good reviews interest more buyers.

[-] SteveStJohn 2 Points 7 months ago

Matthew 13:12

[-] OfficerWade 1 Point 7 months ago

Life happens in the middle, you don’t have to live when you get out of from the bottom to the top.

If you need any proof of that look at the guys here who are approaching women. They didn’t wait for their retirement. Or the right girl. They made it happen.

[-] SensualSeduction01 1 Point 7 months ago

from those in the bottom

[-] Morphs_ 1 Point 7 months ago

“To those at the top, more will be given, and to those at the bottom everything more will be taken.”

This is more accurate, but basically this statement is true in all of life, old and new. It's why the rich get richer and the poor stay poor. It's why popular streamers get more and more viewers and subscribes and those at the botten are stuck with only a few.

[-] mallardcove -2 Point 7 months ago

Muh Jordan Peterson

[-] Bing_Bang_Bam 1 Point 7 months ago

Herd mentality. Female is NOT the future

[-] VasiliyZaitzev 44 Points 7 months ago

You need to work on your approach technique, but other than that you did fine...better than most guys who wouldn't approach. "Take Your Shot" sometimes fucks fair lady; "The Moment Wasn't Right" rides the bus home and beats off.

[-] empatheticapathetic 14 Points 7 months ago

Not if he’s on nofap!

[-] firagabird 1 Point 7 months ago

Tried that for a week. Granted it was my first deliberate attempt, but by the end I was a raging ball of horniness. If I don't beat myself off every other day at most, I stop thinking about anything but sex, and it bleeds over into my reactions with girls (in a very creepy, needy way).

[-] Kebablover6969420 1 Point 7 months ago

Same, noporn is best for me but need to JO 2/week to not go crazy

[-] [deleted] 6 Points 7 months ago


[-] VasiliyZaitzev 2 Points 7 months ago

Maybe not literally anything, but approaches are organic. To much planning out can trip you up. What if she diverges from the script? Hint: This will happen 99% of the time.

Even if your opener is, "Hi, my name is Rhalium. What's your name?" it's enough to get the conversation going. Conversations are organic and you have to learn to think on your feet.

The bottom line is that approaching is skills-based. The only way to improve is to go out and do it, then go over the game film, figure out what went wrong, what went right, etc. Don't punish yourself for mistakes, learn from them.

Yesterday, I opened a girl with "Hey, how are you?" and we went on what amounted to an "instant date". Turns out she's single (or was for me) and I knew I had an in because she's close to 6' tall and I'm taller than she is, if only barely. I write and perform original music and - what luck! - I happen to have 3-4 of my songs on my phone, so pretty soon it's apparent that I've got something going on in my life. For 99% of guys it doesn't matter what is is, but have something, some interesting hobby or work, that you can talk about. Work on your "elevator" speech and you will be fine.

And bear in mind that most women are going to reject you....but you wanna know who get's laid the most? The guys who get rejected the most...because they're approaching.

[-] CainPrice 23 Points 7 months ago

Ignore. She's not interested, you don't have time to be pen-pals with her, and you were after sex, not verbal praise and validation.

But take her advice and keep approaching women.

Maybe you see her at the gym again, in which case, don't be weird and awkward. Be friendly. Even a little flirty. There's a chance, albeit a very slim one, that you might be able to fuck this one. Don't bank on it. Keep fucking other girls in the mean time. But vaguely keep her on your radar.

She's not a good girlfriend. A good girlfriend wouldn't get hit on by a guy at the gym, then send a long string of texts to the guy. She'd tell you, on the spot, that she's taken, or just thank you for your number and never text you. Do you think she told her boyfriend that some guy hit on her at the gym today? And that she was going to text him back to encourage him? Fuck no. She's pussying around behind her boyfriend's back sending texts to some guy who hit on her. Regardless of whether her intentions are good or not, that's not something good girlfriends do. And bad girlfriends are sometimes able to be fucked.

[-] econquest 6 Points 7 months ago


But take her advice.

(But ignore.)

[-] markinsinz7 5 Points 7 months ago

I'm surprised this is you who's saying this Cain. Considering the girl you're currently dating. Like yea girls are generally shitt but I can see the genuine thanks from that girl at the gym. She probably has some history with anxiety and is aware how ballsy it is. Assume the worst is fine but keeping an open mind too is necessary. I would become friends with this girl who probably has a ton of hot friends.

[-] morescoobysnacks 3 Points 7 months ago

Cain's right. She's not LTR material. What she did is how "it just happened" happens. One thing leads to another. But you're right too. She may be genuinely just letting him down nicely with no ulterior motive. Nature doesn't give a fuck about verbal contracts and feelings though.

[-] Andorli 2 Points 7 months ago

Great advice, unlike some AlphaThunderMachoCock's on here.

OP Should definitely become friends with the girl, since she seems genuine enough to respond to his approach in a very polite manner. It was nice gesture on her side and it wouldn't hurt OP to become friends since she can provide a lot of benefits to him such as Preselection, Hot Friends, Good Company etc.

Assume the worst is fine but keeping an open mind too is necessary

Can't stress this enough. Since 90% of TRP is butthurt, people tend to give advice for the worst scenario as it is the only thing that happen. Oh she texted you something? What a Slut. Oh she has friends outside of work? Wow what a Slut. Oh She is doing nice in her career? Probably sucked 10 dicks to get there. Etc. etc. etc.

OP take every advice on TRP with a grain of Salt since you never know who is behind the screen that is giving it to you. It can be somebody who bangs models every weekend, but more probably than not it is somebody who came on TRP since he got cheated, dumped or was a push over and now is compensating for his insecurities by excessive machismo and following some pseudo set of red pill rules that he thinks make him alpha.

[-] NeedingAdvice86 21 Points 7 months ago

This post surely brought out the bitter, jaded cynics on the forum...bhahahhahahahahha, lots of butthurt floating around in the responses.

She sounds like she might be somewhat naïve\young but thoughtful girl who isn't use to PUA or having random guys approaching her as you did....she is letting you down nicely instead of just ghosting as most women will do which is usually a sign of a girl who hasn't much experience. I would not get in a texting contest with her at all...just simple "thanks" or something. And just follow the advice of a couple of the more sane responses, to be chill with her\friendly and see if you can use her for social proof at the gym. It never hurts at the gym to be seen as safe at the gym with other is a place where women guards are on force 10 because of all the test and bravado floating around most of them.

This post though can serve as a good lesson that in this forum, women CAN NEVER can see in the comments that the responses range from anger that she didn't immediately take up you on your offer for a fucking to calling her a cheating whore to her BF for responding to you at should tell you to always consider the biases and cynicism of the advice being given to you here. In the eyes of the vast majority of the responders, this girl lost as soon as you gave her the card, there was nothing she could have done which would have gotten thru their bitterness at what ever girl sent them here.

Think about that when evaluating any advice on the forum....

[-] markinsinz7 11 Points 7 months ago

It is extremely sad about how right you are. It is what it is today. We are all super jaded from the mess of hookup culture. I think the girl did a nice thing. So much depends on her internal feelings towards her bf to judge if what she did is wrong or not. But we'll never know nor does it matter.

But the state of this sub, sigh. Can't complain we r growing by the 1000s every week. The old mentors/ECs are all gone. The end game of this subreddit is to leave once you've gotten what you want.

[-] vanillabeanface 1 Point 7 months ago

I don’t understand what you mean about women can never win?

[-] NeedingAdvice86 1 Point 7 months ago

Just that reading thru the comments you can quickly see that this girl got eviscerated by posters for every imaginable course of action which were open to her....

So REGARDLESS of what she did after getting the number from the Op, she was bad and a sign of the "evils" of women. And if she had ghosted the Op like most girls would have done...the reaction would have been the same.

Read thru the comments.....more to understand the biases of the posters than their comments toward the woman and her actions.

Personal thought on what she did....
She was a slightly naïve, likely young girl who was actually pleasantly surprised and appreciative that the Op was attracted to her and had the nerve to take his the text explaining that she was committed to her BF and wasn't going to cheat, but that the Op should keep looking and not stop taking his shot which would work with another girl....end of story. There wasn't some grand scheme to use the Op or make him an orbiter...blah, blah, blah.

This is the exact type of behavior that the resident bitters claim that a proper woman should take in responding to approaches but look at the reactions....she was anywhere from a cheating slut for responding at all to she was the evil of all evil....trying to make him an orbiter. Can you think of a response from this girl which would have gotten her praise from those posters?

Nothing more.

[-] [deleted] 18 Points 7 months ago


[-] bluechipmonk 37 Points 7 months ago

cuz she will be seeing him at the gym all the time so that's why she politely reached out instead of ghosting

[-] dr_warlock 3 Points 7 months ago

Can you feel jadedness in here? This makes perfect sense. Smoothijg over possible conflict/awkwardness with politeness. She could have been a bitch about it like many a woman, but didn't.

[-] HannibalBacara 0 Points 7 months ago


[-] omega_dawg93 2 Points 7 months ago

in street lingo, "she can get got."

[-] Jesusonacake 1 Point 7 months ago

Gotcha now I understand

[-] Andorli 0 Points 7 months ago

Who hurt you this much?

[-] alvaro10101 7 Points 7 months ago

Not LTR material, but PLATE material. Go ahead. But beware of orbiting.

[-] Peter_B_Long 3 Points 7 months ago

Did you go up to her, give her the card without saying anything, and then walk away?

I wouldn't recommend using this tactic for future approaches. This is a weak way of trying to get a girls attention.

I fear that just because you were lucky and got a friendly (not flirty) response, you'll continue to repeat this approach.

Most girls are going to think you're afraid of them. Instead of giving them a card with your information, just give them your name and ask for their number. This way girls will think you're a confident attractive man and not a shy sweet guy.


[-] [deleted] 1 Point 7 months ago


[-] MisterDSTP 1 Point 7 months ago

Damn son that makes it kinda worst and creepy. Why not just asl her for her number?

Do you just have a stack of cards in your pocket at the gym with your info?

[-] GrimTRP 2 Points 7 months ago

Ignore her text, talk to her at the gym still. Be a little flirty.

Good job on approaching, I'm proud of you son

[-] Casanova-Quinn 2 Points 7 months ago

I'm curious about this situation. Did you just hand this girl a card without saying anything? Was it an actual business card with just your name and number? I want to hear more details.

[-] upononerp 1 Point 7 months ago

Unless you turn this conversation around and can plate her quickly, this is a horrible text.

What would cause a woman you approach to feel the need to encourage you to keep working on your game?

She could smell your desperation and you’re so harmless she felt comfortable sharing these ‘words of encouragement’

I’m not trying to shit on the scenario, you should keep approaching, but this chick is total bullshit if she isn’t beating around the bush and wants to get it on. Why even text if she’s not?

[-] furcryingoutloud 1 Point 7 months ago

figure that all the good ones are taken

No, all the good ones are busy with present turn. This one wrote to you probably for her own validation, or maybe she just wants to keep your number for another turn. It's never as sweet as it looks.

Good job on the approach. Better a lame approach than none at all. I would never give out a number with no conversation, it usually just doesn't work. Somebody said she may want you to orbit, for god's sake do not become an orbiter to her. Treat her civilly, but otherwise ignore her. She may yet come around goaded by her curiosity.

[-] Jace910 1 Point 7 months ago

I don't know how I feel about this sort of approach but goddamn you got balls and confidence. Hopefully the next one blows you.????

[-] [deleted] 1 Point 7 months ago


[-] Jace910 1 Point 7 months ago

He's definitely a rebound for sure. Might even dick her down while shes still with her old man.

[-] UnluckyPenguin 1 Point 7 months ago

One thing worth following through with would be to 'friendzone' girls, they could even be cute ones, but it will grant you access to their hot friends (and parties, and bros, etc).

That's how I met my wife. Our mututal friends kept secretly reminding her I was a player, which always seems to work in your favor. Girls want what other girls want.

[-] ValorElite 1 Point 7 months ago

Wholesome TRP

[-] vanillabeanface 1 Point 7 months ago

I think this is sweet and should be taken humbly. It sucks that she’s taken but maybe her reaching out was something like a, “if I could, I would” mentality?

[-] BlackMarmoset 1 Point 7 months ago

I like the approach, I don't like hitting girls at your gym.

[-] helaughsinhidden 1 Point 7 months ago

Preselection still applies if you meet up with her and her group of friends. Where there's one, there's usually more.

[-] 4thAndLong 1 Point 7 months ago

I would keep approaching her at the gym. Don't orbit though. Keep her on friendly terms. She seems like plate material.

[-] Toxik6 1 Point 7 months ago

You didn’t talk to her at all? Just walked up handed your card and left?

[-] [deleted] 1 Point 7 months ago


[-] Toxik6 0 Points 7 months ago

I think it’s pretty smooth

[-] kabuto_mushi 1 Point 7 months ago

How did you give it to her OP, I'm curious. Like did you introduce yourself?

[-] oytrp 0 Points 7 months ago

You sound like a nice guy.

Why are you giving out your number? You're supposed to take their number.

[-] calm_boy 0 Points 7 months ago

Its good that you approached, but i would honestly advise you to try to limit approaches at gym. You should be concentrating on working out and your goals. Everything comes later. You don't want shit where you work out. Anyways everything is a learning experience.

[-] APSTNDPhy 0 Points 7 months ago

Weird she would reply if she's actually in a ltr

[-] Eirineftis 10 Points 7 months ago

Not really.

[-] blacwidonsfw 0 Points 7 months ago

Probably the nicest way you will be let down. She is taking pitty on you which isn't a great sign

[-] JerryLawlerPigFace -1 Point 7 months ago

I’d invite her out somewhere anyway really heavily emphasizing that it’s casual, so it gives her some plausible deniability. Then escalate anyways, because she wouldn’t go out if she wasn’t interested. Nor would she text you either.

[-] menial_optimist -3 Point 7 months ago

Id prob just not respond then act indifferent toward her at the gym showing total not caring.

[-] [deleted] 0 Points 7 months ago


[-] menial_optimist 1 Point 7 months ago

No, not ignore, that shows butthurt. Talk with her sparringly and briefly just like anyone else who hasn't rejected you. Truly show you are unaffected. If you avoid her and make it obvious you will show hurtness. That is not the conduct of a man with options.

[-] [deleted] -13 Point 7 months ago


[-] superdoofus69 19 Points 7 months ago

Reply her “its not about gut, I just realized you very likely to be fkable easy”.

This is so fuckin cringy are you guys really this shocked at a girl just being nice that you can't believe it's possible and have to go be a complete weirdo

[-] KevuElRevu 6 Points 7 months ago

That dude's just angry at women.

[-] The_Guy_in_the_Glass 12 Points 7 months ago

Do you even read r/TheRedPill, bro? It's tough because most men don't like the constant rejection. That's why OP practices. That's why girls like men with guts (but only if they are good looking, hehe).

OP, ignore what the girl wrote (Look at what they do, not what they say) and try to set up logistics.

[-] [deleted] -1 Point 7 months ago


[-] ashleyshafer27 9 Points 7 months ago

autistic reply affirmed

[-] KevuElRevu 2 Points 7 months ago

Can you explain why?

[-] TheLanternFlame 1 Point 7 months ago

I think you just blew up something with that line.

[-] DubbleFUPAwitCheez 1 Point 7 months ago