At work I perk up a bit and socialize.
Once I leave it's all suddenly drained and I dont talk to anyone until I get back.
If I'm drunk at a club it's a different story.
I'm 6ft, lift 6 days a week, good shape and I am currently making a good living.
At work I approach women because I have to. Once I do, game sometimes flows right out of me. It's stifled, but I've gotten numbers given to me, sometimes just by being present. Little indication of interest but beautiful woken know when I find them attractive, surely.
Edit: For context I choose to be the one to approach and I approach with utmost confidence, eye contact, demeanor. What you'd expect a man to do. It's for work reasons mostly but I do it to get out of the shell. This doesn't translate well outside work where I lose the edge.
I haven't approached a woman outside work in months. Granted, my work is 6 days a week and I work morning to night. I don't get a lot of time to rest and recovery. (I'm a technician in a small company doing light engine work for vehicles.)
I have a hard time transferring my social energy to a settings where I feel I'm under more scrutiny, which is just being out in public usually. I can't deduce why I feel this way.
I'm considering CBT in the future if I can't figure my shit out myself.
All advice and perspectives welcome.
WokeDown 1w ago
"Once I leave it's all suddenly drained and I dont talk to anyone until I get back."
See if it's your diet. Get off processed food. Eat a bit less calories. Counterintuitively, you might find more energy than just 8h a day or whatever for work.
DragonNuts 6d ago
I do suspect my diet is a part of how I feel. Currently on a deficit, intermittent fasting lost ~30lbs of water and fat the last 3 months post bulk. In the coming weeks I'm going to work in some actual meal prepping.
Lone_Ranger 1 1w ago
You're a number hunter.
Plus, you are focusing on rejections.
whytehorse2021 1w ago
Get some hobbies, join combat sports, and remember you've been conditioned to be fearful in public because of false allegations by women.
Typo-MAGAshiv 1 1w ago
It's a skill.
You improve skills through practice.
In other words, you have to get off your ass and do it.
DragonNuts 1w ago
No doubt. I want to figure myself out here and bring the energy I have at work out with me in general life. I seem to be two different people.
Typo-MAGAshiv 1 1w ago
I know it sounds stupid, because I used to be in a similar boat, but really: you just do it.
Get yourself into the state of mind you're in at work, but maybe even looser and more relaxed. Keep at it until it's easy.
DragonNuts 1w ago
Well, I did it kind of.
I perched and did some people watching. As people, mostly women, passed by I shot a compliment about their wares and not their looks.
I got brutally ignored. Wouldn't even face me. Women who weren't all that either.
It's odd as most women I speak with at work tend to reciprocate.
Not even a passing glance in my direction out in the streets, the sun beating on me and my guns out.
There was one, strong eye contact with a pretty African. Fine body. She wouldn't keep her eyes off me but she still rejected. Granted my approach was just to try something different and spontaneous "Like what you see? What's your name? You're cute, can I get your number?" Yolo cringe take. My back was kind of turned away as we slowly drifted off into other directions.
Not a bad day of trying and I don't feel bad about any of it. I think I look great but it seems women in the area like skinny guys who bundle up in baggy clothes and look like cavemen.
oowiw 1w ago
Two ideas - maybe work is masking the sexual intent giving you an out when things don't go smoothly - or maybe being good at what you do makes you feel more confident while you're working.