So there is one club close to where I live that is not too trashy and very cheap (unless you buy drinks). I figured to try to get my club game going and basically learn to pull chicks cheap and fast on friday/saturday nights.
This time I went there with intention to observe. I made a couple moves but unsucessfully. Now some observations about how club dynamics work.
2-4 girls appear on the dance floor and dance together. Most often some group of guys come and try to form a circle with girls, then there is like 4-8 people in cirlce. Very rarely and only tall guys try to approach single girl from group without circle, most of the guys wait until circle forms. If they are in the circle, and want to approach, they immediately approach girl from the front, slowly take her hands, start dancing together. If guy is not in the circle he approaches from behind - accidentally starts bumping into girl a few times from behind, later puts his hand on girls vaist from behind, at some point turns her into himself to dance. Approach from behind vs from front happens 50/50 of the time. On these approaches guys mainly succeed, I havent noticed hard rejections (exept for when I tried myself to replicate). If guy approached trying to talk to girl before intimate dancing, girls would put them off.
I also noticed nobody looks drunk, few people were buying drinks, no crazyness is happening, guys also dont buy drinks to girls, girls sometimes buy themselves a cocktail when they get bored.
So I saw multiple times how people just start dancing and I dont really get it. I was visibly seeing from guys which of them are planning to make a move. I noticed girls werent eyeing them before or whatever. Guys just take girls and starts dancing.
I tried this 5 times and all of the times girl just pulls her hands away from mine. Dont really get what I’m doing wrong. Tried approaching only from front, because not that confident yet to just start grinding from back because I feel like there is one wrong move and you will be called off as a creep.
Anyone had some similar experiences in clubs? What could I be doing wrong? There were guys literally 10cm shorter than me making out with good looking girls, while I couldnt get the dancing part going.
I also tried to “steal” one girl when I noticed she danced with a dude who looked scared of everything and I succeeded, but this is unreliable tactic, because I’ve seen literally single guy like that with a girl throughout whole night
User4566 1mo ago
I’m only 24 and still a newbie but about 2 weeks ago I was at a popular bar/club in the city for Saint Patty’s. I went alone. I dressed in a nice black dress shirt with rolled up sleeves and jeans, nothing too try-hard but I looked nice. When I showed up, I simply drank and danced. I had FUN. I ignored women altogether that night because from what I’ve noticed, guys that pull up to these places and acting like a dog in heat almost ALWAYS never get any action because it’s a bad look to show up to a place just to chase ass and not actually have fun. How would I know? I saw 2 college buddies there and they were out chasing ass and awkwardly having conversations with girls and then asking for their instagrams. I watched all the girls body languages and they all had an uncomfortable look to them. When I was dancing, they were standing around like dumbasses looking at girls and talking to each other like “who’s next?”.
What happened to me? I got rip-roaring drunk with zero intention to talk to girls. I literally just wanted to have fun and dance. When I was dancing and walking around, some girls would make AND HOLD eye-contact with me while singing songs and smiling. One girl quickly started fixing her hair once I walked up and passed by her as we made eye contact. One girl gave me her hand and had me twirl her and we danced for a bit and her friends started talking to each other while watching us dance. They even put a sticker on my face and I laughed it off and kept it on my face the rest of the night. When I went up to get another beer, a girl came up to me and handed me her phone with the dial on it and I entered it. She then asked for a hug and if I wanted to get pizza with her and her friend (some dude who looked like a cuck). I was having so much fun, I said “pizza? Fuck that!” And danced until the place closed. The reason why I didn’t bring home anyone is because I’m still not comfortable with fucking random girls as soon as I meet them.
Point is, I didn’t chase ass the entire night BUT I made sure I had fun and was laughing the whole night which made me look like a fun guy. I easily got way more attention than my buddies who are good looking but were obviously not having fun and were simply there to hunt girls down. Don’t stand around with a beer in your hand like a jerk off, start laughing and dance to the most retarded tunes they’re playing and I guarantee you’ll get choosing signals.
oowiw 1mo ago
personal stats? It's really hard to turn your post into data without knowing what part of the world and your height/looks
User4566 1mo ago
Read everything I say before you discredit me: I’m American, white and 6’4” with 13% BF at 205 pounds. Now before you tell me that I’m chadsplaining, I’ll say that I am never guaranteed pussy. I’ve gone to bars and clubs and stood around like a dumbass and got ignored by women. I’ve also cold approached chicks in the bar and club and got rejected quite a bit. For example: one time I went up to a chick and she looked at me like “yeah, right” and walked away. I’ve also seen guys shorter than me pull hot chicks (they weren’t short but like 5’9”ish).
Girls also don’t like it when a guy goes around and cold approaches random chicks at the bar, it makes them look bad when it’s their turn. Think about it: it’s not a good look to get with the girl that’s talking and making out with other guys at the bar. Some guys with no dignity will take her home anyway and probably get herpes. The only time I’ve seen it look good is if you have constant positive interactions with these girls and not just going up to them and trying to get their instagram or go home with you. I’ve noticed other chicks love the guys that talk to other chicks or even guys and make them laugh and have fun. They get the most choosing signals and attention for SURE. Girls DON’T like the guys that go girl to girl and give them a shitty sales-pitch of why they should give them their number or leave with them. Those were my college buddies and it was embarrassing.
Even with my same stats, if I went to a bar/club and talked to no one, stood in the corner with a beer in my hand, stone-face, I would likely get zero attention from chicks. Been there, done that. I’ve noticed that the nights when I’ve gone out without any intentions of anything, I get the most attention because I’m relaxed and not putting pressure on myself to approach girls but rather have fun. Something else I’ve noticed is, most of the approaching that happens in clubs is not at ALL like cold approaching on the street. Most of it is done with the eyes. When I walk to grab a drink, a girl might look into my eyes and hold eye contact as I pass by. I even try to avoid eye contact with women to try to get them to REALLY try to get my attention. The thing men have to realize is, they go to the bars and clubs for all the WRONG REASONS. They go to pick up women. That’s NOT what bars and clubs are for. It’s a byproduct, but bars and clubs and for having FUN.
whytehorse2021 1mo ago
Clubs are a scam. It's a place where women go to to get worshipped by men and drain their resources. If you're not Mike Sartain with 10 models at a private table in the VIP area, you're wasting your time.
DragonNuts 1mo ago
Read models.
The last time I hit the club, I read models the night before
Don't hit the club to get girls. Hit the club to have a good time for yourself. Focus in on what you will find joy in. Meeting girls, dancing, etc.
I literally had a chick walk up and start sucking my face off just by dancing. It was insane and people cheers as I had her pressed up on a beam dead center of the floor. Never felt so exposed yet free and wild
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
You weren't what they wanted. It's that simple
Don't get me wrong when I say this, I love going to my venue i go to because it's more of a hobby of random partner dance i just do the coolest acrobatic shit I can learn so it's not old school or anything, but that being said still, women will watch me do the best shit imaginable (at least locally), even give me the dirtiest fuck me eyes from the side, and then still reject me when i approach
Your tone, body language, and overall grooming and presentation matters a lot. Your interactions with other women matter a lot too. so you're probably lacking on the vibe you cast out into the world if seemingly less desireable men are getting better results. But again I'm only going by your word, reality might be different
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Again i get rejected by chicks after they spent 5 songs straight raping me with their eyes. It happens. For whatever the fuck reason they didn't fucking want you. Honestly examine your demeanor, vibe, and appearance but past that you can't let it affect you because they had unspoken reasons for saying no
Also, some times women will dance with undesirable chodes because they know if they give them 5 minutes or whatever they can easily so no later and the guy won't be a threat. If the guy is objectively desire able but she's not into him enough and then later has to reject him it is a lot of energy. A lot of women will give time to undesirable men they can easily abandon later so don't take it personally those guys are getting pity dances. At least she was unsure enough of you to say no (in some cases).
Likewise if you have too much social proof and preselection you can also get rejected. I've had that happen. Women think I'm actively dating a girl that just happens to talk to me a lot, and while women like a guy with options some times they'll auto reject if they think they don't have a shot at all. Even if you approach them a lot of the time they might still think they'll just be a cheap fuck with zero chance to keep you around depending on your interactions with other women
Bottom line work on your vibe, appearance, and demeanor and overall work on how likeable and sociable you are in general in night game because a high percentage of the time you'll end up with incidental approaches and lays because you were on your way to socialize with one person and the bam you just happen to end up randomly talking to some high interest chick
Virtual_Hall8986 1mo ago
Maybe to add, this night I started by observing others, but later started dancing without really giving a shit, not looking at girls at all. In half an hour became the guy who other random average guys would follow. I started making circles, when I showed some dance moves guys and girls cheered me, when others showed off they would remain unappreciated, I was the “best” guy from my followers group. Guys would come to talk to me, introduce themselves, or just buy me a drink because I was “cool”.
You say: For whatever the fuck reason girls didn't fucking want you.
Good point. I understand it and it’s okay. But what I don’t get, is that I actively watched people and I’m not shitting you - there were so few rejections on others, or I just don’t notice it???, there must be something about my vibe that puts girls off.
I actually went to the same club a couple years ago every friday and saturday for 3 weeks and results were the same, however then I figured out it was probably my looks (I was alt-looking guy then). However now, got some normie clothes, got a bad boy haircut. So the problem must be vibe.
But regarding vibe - I’m still unsure what the heck I’m doing wrong, I tried to approach pretty much the same way others did.
Also I don’t really see girls eyeraping guys here, they just dance intimately one with another, waiting until someone pulls them in somewhere.
oowiw 1mo ago
Guys were buying you drinks? I don't think I've ever seen any guy buy another guy a drink in any context except mentor mentee... What exactly happened to cause your competitors at the club to buy YOU drinks?
Virtual_Hall8986 1mo ago
It was weird to me too. I basically became sort of a leader, all of them were cowards who were too afraid to approach chicks, they basically wanted to be in “my group” and I was doing all the job getting girls to dance in our circle
User4566 1mo ago
When I was at a bar last week, I had a seat at the bar and the rest were taken. Everyone behind me wanted to get drinks, so I would help get the bar tenders attention for them to order. Guys thanked me and made small talk and even bought me a drink.
Testme 1mo ago
It's an error to approach in many cases because it makes you look subordinate. It's usually better to invite a girl non-verbally from a distance when she looks at you.
Virtual_Hall8986 1mo ago
Will try that next time