See all women as playthings.

where I can find practical knowledge

Get back on the horse.

You will learn faster and deeper through OJT than you will with any amount of reading, visualization, affirmations, or any other non-dating activity.

In martial arts schools, most students have a breakthrough at some point after they start sparring when they realize they don't have to be afraid of taking a hit. The students who are ready to get hit and keep fighting progress much much faster than the ones who haven't yet reached that point. Take your hit, get back up, go back in, knock the next one down.

Somewhere on trp I read the lines "Don't worry, they're all just practice".

I'd say that next time you start to get feelings for a girl, keep a cool head and understand that you will probably fuck up unless she beats you to it.

It's the expectations you harbour that hurts.

I was at a fundraiser and met an old man. Had to be in his 70's. He owns one of the largest beer distributorships in America. We had both stepped outside for a smoke and we got to talking. The usual stuff - Where you from? You Married? Shit like that. He told me that he's a widower - he was married to a woman for 30 years, but she died.

"I'm sorry", I said.

"Why?", he replied.

He continued "Look. I loved my wife. A part of me still does. But I always had other women, and she knew. She was fine with it; I took care of her...But what you have always got to remember is that there are always more women. There are always more women. There are always more women."

We finished smoking and went back inside. I saw him with his new girlfriend - she had to be 30+ years younger than him. That was the only time I've ever communicated with him, but that really stuck with me.

There are just too many women out there to get hung up on one. Just like your hook-up realized there's too many dudes to get hung up on one.

Don't hate the payer OR the game - play the game.

Time for some tough love so time to dissect your post.

I am doing to diagnose you with a case of the Oneitis. You put this particular pussy on a pedestal which enabled all of her negative behavior. You even still seem to be putting her on a pedestal by considering her a 'high quality female'.

My prescription is to repeat after me: "There is nothing special about <insert her name here>. She has nothing that I cannot get from another women or multiple other women". Lather, Rinse, Repeat x10, x20, x100 until it sinks into your thick skull that this bitch was not worth the emotional attachment.

She gave me access to her vagina, but withheld when it suited her.

Red Flag #1. Withholding access to the Vagina after it was already given up (barring medical issue like that time of the month) should be treated as the equivalent of a relationship nuke. It's the first sign a woman is trying to manipulate you.

Gave me just enough attention and affection to keep me interested, while playing hard to get to keep me chasing.

Red Flag #2. You're frame was poor. You framed yourself in relation to her expectations (IE. her attention and affection). You need to build a strong frame at the start of the relationship that revolves around you. The woman in question needs to prove herself worthy of YOUR attention and affection not the other way around. Had you had that sort of a frame then when Red Flag #1 came up you would have done the proper thing and froze her out.

I broke down, told her how bad she hurt me, all that BS. Left, and cried my eyes out.

The proper response to her going to another guys place is an emotionless robotic response. You never let them see they've hurt you. Something like "Cool... Well later, I'm heading back to <bar> to find some chick to fuck. See ya"

I blamed her for everything.

You had a weak and beta frame. That's why she bailed. I bet the guy she's fucking has a strong alpha frame. At the very least you can consider yourself lucky she cut you loose and didnt try to keep you around as an orbiter.

I need to make sure this won't ever happen to me again. I'm looking the red pill in the face, I just need to take it.

Man the fuck up and swallow the pill you pussy. It's the only way to fix the problem in the future.

I started reading the literature on the sidebar, but wan to know where I can find practical knowledge. Something actionable that I can begin to implement immediately. can you guys help me out?

Yes and this advice is standard for just about everyone that comes here.

1) Stop focusing on women in the immediate future and start focusing on improving yourself and your SMV

2) Go visit /r/BecomeAMan

3) Lift Weights, Get in Shape (/r/fitness and /r/loseit (or /r/gainit if you are a scrawny motherfucker) as well as /r/paleo and/or /r/keto for nutrition advice)

4) Come back in a month or two with a status update :) I'm sure you'll be doing much better then.

Lots of good advice so I'll just lead with my similar story

Started with a crush (big red flag if you're 'crushing' on a chick) at a seasonal job in 2011. We hung out a bit but nothing ever happened. We talk through out the rest of the year and come next summer start hanging out.

I'm ecstatic of course because I really like this chick, so we make out a few times and eventually have sex. I'm going all in even though I have no intention of trying long distance; of course, my oneitis brain is telling me 'maybe it could work.' (Never make decisions if you suspect you have oneitis.) Eventually, she admits she's not sure how she feels about me so I get hurt, we part ways for the summer and never talk again.

Do you know what the best remedy for this was? Cutting all contact. She did that part for me which hurt a lot but its better that she didn't string me along. I removed her from facebook so I wouldn't be tempted to talk to her. I basically forgot her existence. I've recognized I will never see her again and I don't really want to. Her cutting contact abruptly was a pretty bitchy thing to do because we were friends before we hooked up.

Now, I have a girlfriend who admittedly isn't as attractive but treats me much better, and I am a lot happier. Sex is better too.