When she brings up "all you ex's are hot", "i'm intimidated by them", "I know I'm not that hot, I'll get better with age though lol", how do I respond?
I've been currently seeing this girl my age (24) for 4 months now, meeting once a week. I like it that way and it's working well so far, but recently things slightly going up the gears.
From the beginning, she thought I was 'out of her league' even though she's fairly hot. I used this as an advantage by saying things like "you're not the only one who's said I'm hot" and "I think I'm pretty good looking too". This TRP really works.
Two weeks ago, I introduced her to my friends on a night out watching the rugby, and then went to a J Dilla night. Ever since then, I've shot up 10 fold in her eyes as she just can't stop flirting with me via texts, because I must have looked like hot property in her eyes by being bigged up by friends and 'knowing how to dance to hiphop' (where I dance by keeping my body calm and slightly nodding my slightly-raised head).
Recently she's added me on Facebook and seen my ex's tagged photos. Even though she knows I don't keep in contact with ex's, and the idea that I'm totally against keeping in touch with them, I can tell she's very intimidated even by her texts. She's even telling her close friends, but they give the obvious comfort that "you're hot too".
She is hot of course, otherwise I wouldn't be here with her, but I don't want to fall into the trap of oneitis-laden compliments like "but you're really hot" or "you're honestly right up there, please don't worry", "I really like you and I'm here for you only" etc.
I did once say early on "of course my ex's are hot, I have good taste". She did seem a bit down after that but later that night all was fine.
What should I say next time it's brought up?
EDIT: I would say she's 7.5/10 and oldschool textbook-woman personality in the sense she's not into any feminism tripe. It makes applying TRP fundamentals more easy.
oldredder 9y ago
This is built-in / accumulated dread-game and works for you. Do not defuse. If it comes to comfort-tests adapt and ensure she's not so threatened she runs away, gives up or gets depressed. Otherwise leave the dread ON. If a girl ISN'T feeling this way she won't treat you well.
BrunoOh 9y ago
"I really like that thing you do with your tongue though."
ilovemagicmush 9y ago
This is my favorite. All of the other responses are too try-hard, it's bordering on negging which is retarded in my opinion.
[deleted] 9y ago
You: Insecurity bores me
TheGillos 9y ago
Is that from House of Cards?
awfulgoodness 9y ago
Amp this up. Resist the urge to allay her fears. This will pay off in your favour. She is used to bringing her B game.
mumbly__joe 9y ago
Do this. Just let her hamster run. You have the upper hand and she has none. Be prepared for her to manipulate your worth down to put you on level pegging. (Exactly what she's doing by complaining about it being your fault she's not as hot) Stay above it and continue becoming more awesome.
1NV0K3R 9y ago
"They are ex's for a reason."
Doesn't give her validity or downplay them, makes it as you chose to break up for some reason or another.
bicepsblastingstud 9y ago
That is giving her validity.
1NV0K3R 9y ago
How?
It's a blanket statement. It doesn't address any issue of insecurity, but subtly makes it a point that yes they are hot, but they are no longer a part of his life, thus building comfort while not validating her.
mrust 9y ago
It's reassurance. It's not so far a step from "I'm with you now." to "You're the best I can get." You did pick up on the comfort aspect, but that is exactly what you don't want (within reason).
kingofpoplives 9y ago
Just shrug it off, move on the next topic, or keep doing what you're doing. This is really a good thing, provided you don't go all beta trying to console her.
That insecurity is her problem, not yours.
Red-Zen 9y ago
Agree and amplify.
Agree and amplify.
This sounds more like a comfort test. The guys in /r/marriedredpill/ will tell you to just re-assure her that you're interested in her. I wouldn't cow to it too heavily... "You're hot too" is an acceptable answer.
The other thing to do is to just acknowledge her feelings without getting sucked into them. "Yeah, I can see why you might be intimidated by them." Then just let the hamster run on its wheel...
P.S. this is all spectacular built-in dread game. Dont fuck that up.
favours_of_the_moon 9y ago
She SHOULD be intimidated by how hot your exes were.
Maybe she can make up the difference by how enthusiastically she sucks your dick.
2comment 9y ago
"Looks are important but it isn't everything" and keep it neutral and move on. Don't have to downplay it, degrade your exes, yourself, or raise her up.
You're just reminding her there's more to her keeping you than looks, and if she needs to improve in those areas, it will push her to work on them.
bm2l 9y ago
No.
bm2l 9y ago
No.
TDCRedPill 9y ago
'You know what I've noticed about them? They can't suck a cock to save their life. Physical affection is just very important to me, while everyone else they've ever dealt with didn't care because they were pretty; they never bothered to learn since all they had to do was show up."
rattamahatta 9y ago
"Your exes are so hot" - "thank you". Take the compliment and move on. Nothing good comes out of this topic.
RealRational 9y ago
"Do you think complaining about it makes you more, or less attractive in my eyes?"
This should shift her focus to her own actions, since it tells her (through subtext) that her actions affect how attractive she is to you. Thus motivating her to take as many actions as possible that appear to make you happy.
bicepsblastingstud 9y ago
This is not subtext. This is actually pretty blatant.
RealRational 9y ago
no, blatant is saying "your actions affect how attractive to me you are, not just your looks". Anything, ANYTHING, less than that is subtext. Do I really need to copy/paste the dictionary entry?
zomgpark 9y ago
So amoging is frown upon in trp?
We_Are_Legion 9y ago
You now know a great reward to train her with. Give her a little validation when she deserves it.
Nicolay77 9y ago
"Then you know you have to behave."
RojoEscarlata 9y ago
7.5 is really hot?
primefunk1 9y ago
Don't overplay your hand.
easynownin 9y ago
What's considered as overplaying in this instance?