Me: 35 Her: 20 year old HB9
We have been on one date, ended with making out at her car. Supposed to go out last night but she flaked, said it was a funeral so couldn't give her too much shit.
Anyway now she suggests we go see a play this weekend which would be ~200 bucks not even including dinner or whatever after...with no guaranteed sex yet. That's a lot of money for second base...Anyway, what's the red pill answer here? Want to keep her on the hook but without this lame, traditional expensive date. Thanks fellas.
Doomsday_ 10y ago
Never "wine & dine" a woman early on in the courtship. No dinner until you've at least had sex, and probably best not to treat her to big things until you've been dating for a few months. She should have to earn this stuff from you. If you give them away early on she won't respect you.
My suggestion would be to keep things to more casual dates at this stage. What did you do for your first date? This is important info as it sets the tone.
Either bail on the play and suggest a more low-key, casual date, or get her to pay for you.
Pushnikov 10y ago
I'm compiling a list of personal rules for these things. Here's my two favorites at the moment.
If she doesn't fall into those two categories, then she's just taking you for a ride.
Valkyrie_99 10y ago
She's obviously out of your league, get over it and move on.
[deleted] 10y ago
LOL the "funeral". I've heard that one a few times. Wait till you have been in the game a while, the flake excuses you'll get are GREAT. And they always happen right at the last second.
RedSunBlue 10y ago
This is how the series of texts should play out:
240worthofpudding 10y ago
I think you should ask to see the funeral flyer (whatever they're called). If she can't produce it, fuck her.
And, fuck any person that expects another person to spend mad skrill on them. Nobody deserves anything.
Nutz76 10y ago
I reserve weekend dates only for women I'm already sleeping with, otherwise I'm out with friends screening for new talent.
My advice is to tell her you already have plans, but you two can get together tonight for a happy hour (if 18 is legal where you live) or perhaps early Saturday afternoon. The main takeaway is to avoid the big investment weekend date without equal investment on her part, and preferably her going first, so to speak.
not-claudius 10y ago
$200+ for a second date? Ya, fuck that unless you really wanna see the play. If she was a woman worth her salt, she'd have phrased it "i really want to see this play and I'd like you to come, it's expensive though so I'd understand if you weren't interested in paying that much for a ticket to something like this."
[deleted] 10y ago
Is there even such a thing as nighttime funerals? She bailed on you and lied.
Only proper response to her saying "we should go see that play" is "sounds cool, did you get us good seats?" Or some variation where you make it clear you aren't buying tickets.
Don't get hung up on this one, dude. There will always be other women.
NahDudeFkThat 10y ago
So many ways to do this, highly amusing
You can straight up stand her up
Straight up change the plans when she comes over/when you pick her up (hmm on second thought, I think this would be more fun, lets go ____ instead"), +1 spontaneous +2 tingle in her pants
You can also straight up cancel on her. Bonus points if you can come up with some obviously made-up excuse
too many ways
[deleted] 10y ago
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NahDudeFkThat 10y ago
I uhhhhhhh.... funeral, had a funeral & shit
enticingasthatmaybe 10y ago
I'm on board for this move 100%. Bonus points if she shows up at his house dressed for the theater and he answers the door in jeans and a t-shirt playing GTA V.
NahDudeFkThat 10y ago
shit is gold b
[deleted] 10y ago
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NahDudeFkThat 10y ago
You see a free play, but get no play nor get any closer to the poon tho
Gotta make impactful moves. It's the manly thing to do.
americnleprchaun 10y ago
He'll have plenty of time at the play or to make a move afterwards, but fuck spending $200+ because a flake thinks it'll be fun. Yeah, probably for her, for him? Well that's uncertain to say the least.
NahDudeFkThat 10y ago
Hmm. Tough to beat the impact of a last-minute flake/cancel. I don' think there's any good moves to make during or after the play that'll get her tingles/hamster going as much as a beautiful cancel/flake on her (she's a solid 9? She'll definitely dig the cancel)
[deleted] 10y ago
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NahDudeFkThat 10y ago
This goes without saying
footballtrav89 10y ago
If you want to go see the play, do it. Otherwise there is absolutely no reason to.
bgny 10y ago
Is it the wrong answer to just be honest and say it is a lot of money to spend for a second date and you should split the cost?
Petrarch1603 10y ago
In what universe would this ever be a good idea.
bgny 10y ago
Could you explain
Petrarch1603 10y ago
If you tell a girl that its a lot of money and you want to split the cost, her pussy will close up tight enough to turn coal into diamonds.
bgny 10y ago
What if you don't mention cost or money at all and just say "I have something else planned for our second date. I'll pick you up at 8."
plopliar 10y ago
That would be an infinitely better idea.
anothermonth 10y ago
The situation is bad. I hate it when chicks flake on your plans and then come up with their own. And $200 event?
If she expects you to pay for both of you, limit her expectations "$200 on a second date? No, let's go rollerblading in the park. Make us some sandwiches, I'll pick you up." Chances are she'll come up with another excuse, next her.
If she expressed that she can pay for herself, just dodge the play giving even more ridiculous reason than a funeral, unless you really want to see it yourself, which I figured you don't.
drrtyfrrnr 10y ago
Have her buy the tix and pay her back for her share, simple. I doubt she expects you to pay her share. In fact it would work against you if you did.
RedBigMan 10y ago
What you should do is instead of buying tickets to some stupid play you probably wont like. Why don't you go out and buy some tickets to <Insert Sport Team You Like Here> in some of the cheap seats (I find in my city even the cheap seats are pretty good). Should run you around $20-40 a ticket way cheaper than $200+ for the play.
Also don't tell her you switched the plans until last minute. Oh by the way we're going to the (Baseball/Football/Hockey) game instead.
mordanus 10y ago
set up the second date and then flake out on it for a "funeral" (date with another plate). Reschedule the date for when that play isn't playing.
[deleted] 10y ago
Why are you even entertaining the idea of paying for her?
[deleted] 10y ago
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no_game_player 10y ago
Indeed. I really like theatre. There was a play that I had a personal connection to (had been in an amateur production of it) so I decided I was going to go regardless of the cost. It was third row seats, major theatre, late purchase of the tickets. Still only ~$50. I guess that's the advantage of being in a medium-sized city, but still.
Sure as fuck don't do it just to get to second base because she told you to do it...
RPstudent 10y ago
Without knowing how you got this far, it's difficult to assess whether you've created an image in her mind of beta
fuxbux or alpha fux. I tend to agree with /u/Guurzak that she sees you as the former.How to bail is easy. Say no. You're busy. Your time and money are valuable. If you have no specific plans, then make some with guy friends, or spin up a few other plates and find the right combination of expended effort and resources for a more certain shot at sex.
EDIT: typo now struckthrough and fixed
no_game_player 10y ago
Intentional? lol
RPstudent 10y ago
Nope. Unintentional and soon to be corrected
no_game_player 10y ago
Figured. It was an amusing way though. Like "that's a badass beta if they can at least still get teh fux" ;-p
[deleted] 10y ago
She has you tagged as beta bux. Solid chance the "funeral" was another guy. No matter what you do, don't buy those tickets. With that said, this is probably not salvageable no matter how you play it.
If I found myself in this situation, I'd probably handle it with "Go ahead and get those tickets, it sounds like it could be fun". Followed by "What do you mean I should pay, you're the one asking me out." Followed by "No, I only spend that kind of money on women I'm already fucking."
[deleted] 10y ago
This is the correct play here
ReasonableRadio 10y ago
Yes, but on the other hand the women I'm "already fucking comment" could probably be left out, it'll just make you look like a dick. The play could be good, but as u/Guurzark said you should definitely not allow her to talk you into just covering something exorbitant that she suggested: if she has any conscience she'll see that kind of thing isn't acceptable. If she seems surprised that you aren't offering to just throw four hundred dollars at her because she asked, after one date, then there's no way around the fact that she's a gold digger (digging in an iron mine by the sounds of it). However, there's still a chance that she was offering to pay her own way, or even pay for you, so don't screw yourself over for no reason by assuming the worst of three possibilities and making rude comments without justification (and looking like a dick again).
acoti 10y ago
Agreed. I was trying to find the right way to phrase it before entering the thread, but this is the best play. OP, make sure you do/did this. Update us on what happens.
[deleted] 10y ago
Either that or he could say something along the lines of, "Sounds fun. Lets do it." It doesn't immediately place the purchasing of the tickets on her. Chances are she'll confirm either by asking you to get the tickets or telling you, "OK, I'll get the tickets."
Kronouranos 10y ago
Eh, if there is any doubt about who is getting the tickets, she will push it on you. She could respond with "Okay great!" then get mad when you don't have the tickets. I doubt she'll volunteer to get the tickets without being told.
[deleted] 10y ago
If she gets mad/shows up without the tickets then OP will know she's not worth his time.
anothermonth 10y ago
If you say "sounds like fun, lets do it" you're pretty much committing to whatever scenario she picks. Dodging it later under any excuse will be a shitty move.
It's better to be upfront about money. Guurzak's "I only spend that kind of money on women I'm already fucking" sets her expectations accordingly. Don't forget she's 20 y.o who wants to dynamo her 35 y.o. papi.
[deleted] 10y ago
I could see either scenario being in his favor. I don't know why he would dodge if she actually has the tickets. If she doesn't then he has an excuse to embarrass her about expecting him to pay for them.
However, I doubt that he would be confronted on Saturday. Most likely she will say something about it. Worst case scenario she implies he should purchase them and he can next her.
anothermonth 10y ago
I'd agree if that was his idea to go to a play, but at $200 it's her attempt to game him.
In any case I don't like girls picking venues. Unless I really want to be there I tend to dodge their ideas.
grandmazboy 10y ago
Maybe. What I would do is seem non-ecstatic. If she asked again about the play or mentioned it, I'd say "eh, if it's your treat. why not,sure." See what she says then. If it's smooth, success. If she's against it, I would just be on my way. "nah. fuck that."