http://www.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/30cqy2/ltr_going_to_pcb_for_spring_break/
So, I drive my LTR to the spot where her friends want to pick her up. They drive off and within minutes I'm getting texts like "I miss you" and "we didn't even get to hug goodbye." I am very short with her if I ever reply, and I don't most of the time. I'm too upset with her to reply. Fast forward to the next day. I'm getting the same "I miss you" texts and a lot of "I love you" texts. I'm focusing on getting my work done, so I'm still very short with her.
A few hours go bye, and I get a missed call from LTR. I decide to call her back, and the line is busy (maybe she's calling again?). Well, for whatever reason I call her back a second time. She says "Oh I didn't mean to call you" I just say okay and hang up. I get some more "miss you, love you" texts and I'm so sick of her shit that I ignore her.
A few more hours pass. It is now 2 AM and I get another missed call. I return the call again, and LTR hands the phone to her friend. This isn't the same friend that hates me. Friend says "Hey you seem like a nice guy, but we don't need you calling because this is a girls trip and we don't want drama. Everything will be fine when we bring LTR back to you." I say nothing and hang up. I had to hang up just to avoid saying something cruel to her. Anyway, I get another text: "Goodnight I love you." and another one after that "Goodnight I love you so much."
Here's the fucked up part. I'm friends with her friend (the bitch) on snapchat. About an hour after LTR tells me goodnight, I see a video on snapchat with LTR drunk out of her mind dancing around in a low cut shirt saying dumb shit like "turn up blah blah spring break!"
I hear a guys voice in the background. Keep in mind, this isn't some club. It's their private room.
I'm fucking furious and depressed at the same time. I'm 20 years old and this is my first serious girlfriend. At this point, I have no other choice but to break up with her. Next time around, with a different girl, I'm doing things right. No more returning phone calls only to be shamed for it. No more acting like a pussy. I hope she enjoys that dick, because she will never have mine again. I'm simply too disgusted with her actions.
Not to sound like a bitch, but this is my first heartbreak. It hurts, man. Now I'm gonna mentally slap myself for thinking that way
allcapsisyelling 10y ago
NEXT. Don't waste another erg of emotional energy on this person.
Count_To_Five 10y ago
She hasn't cheated yet. There's no proof.
Personally I think it might be an overreaction. Keep her but always fuck other girls on the side.
redpillschool Admin 10y ago
Absolutely next. Any chick that lets her friends talk to me that way is GONE.
GC0W30 10y ago
I don't think anyone on TRP thinks "LTR" and "poster is 20 years old" is a good combo.
LTRs hold you back professionally. At your age, you need to be studying, training, practicing, working, networking with MEN to get ahead.
Focus on you. Once you can't improve yourself any more during a day, women and for ONS and for plating. I wish I'd avoided any kind of CONSIDERATION of settling down until I was 30.
Now I'm pushing 40 and my career and finances are light-years behind where they would be if I'd avoided putting effort into women.
On edit: Don't waste time being mad. She was a slut before you met her. Her slutting out on the trip while trying to keep you for BB [or whatever] is in her design and she didn't have the kind of background that would keep her from following her nature.
She is a machine made to whore, and lie, and lie about whoring. If you put your hand in a lawnmower you're going to lose a finger. There's no reason to be mad at the lawnmower and no reason to be mad at this bitch. She taught you the valuable lesson that 'good girls' aren't really, and she taught you without sticking you with alimony or child support. I'd gladly pay $25K to have learned that lesson at your age instead of at 30, when I did.
SpinEbO 10y ago
How do you know they are fucking?
[deleted] 10y ago
I'll never know. That's the fucked up part. If it were me I'd at least be honest. But I'll probably never ever know.
xwm 10y ago
Who cares. Shes already disrespected you and let her friends disrespect you.
Besides, the "i miss you" over the top bullshit is probably a guilty conscience. That is what my pre-trp ex did each time after she cheated.
cray-cray-cray 10y ago
Look up "self fulfilling prophesy."
You received an entire shit-ton of bad advice in this thread and the previous.
She may have been a decent girl. She has clearly been concerned about you, and YOUR insecurities since she left.
The most frequent advice here has been shit like "dump her first." How does that help anything? If she's going to misbehave or not, what exactly is the advantage? You can make a case for "go fuck other girls" because you think she won't behave, but there is zero advantage to dumping her pre-trip.
Instead... you let a bunch of people on the internet get inside your head. You start acting real shitty to your girlfriend for no reason, and you start sounding like a little bitch. I will not be shocked if she fucks someone now.
KyfhoMyoba 10y ago
Bullshit. She's drunk, her friends are telling OP to "quit calling", so that means that they're at least OK with her hooking up with another guy, there's at least one guy in their room. You're right in that she's concerned about OPs insecurities, the insecurities that she consciously and deliberately created and nurtured by partying w/o him and with a bunch of sluts. She's concerned about his insecurities, so she sends him these texts to make sure that his beta comfort will still be there when she gets done with some strange alpha fucks on (unaccountable) vacay.
What the fuck did he do? He returned calls. That's it. He didn't "act shitty", and if he did, it would certainly be within reason, given her relationship-destroying behavior.
cray-cray-cray 10y ago
Did you read part 1? http://www.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/30cqy2/ltr_going_to_pcb_for_spring_break/
Likely not.
I can't keep a girl from cheating, but I can surely increase the chances if I want, and that's what this guy did. If you have an LTR you care about, you don't try to push her into it. wtf? If a girl tries to push me into other chicks while I'm vacationing without her, she'll get exactly what she asked for, and the same goes both ways.
spoetnick 10y ago
Hi man. Next to all the comments all ready made, i don't have much to add. I would like to plead for a new FR after she gets back and how it turns out. I'm learning a lot from your rapports and the comments on it. I could use the last chapter of the story as well.
Thanks and good luck man!
raceAround126 10y ago
Sorry this turned out for you like it did. I know, it sucks to be crushed and especially the first time. But it just seems obvious to me that this girl doesn't give two fucks about you. If she did, you would either be going on that trip with them, or she would have bowed out.
And to be honest, she's 20. Why should she give a fuck about you? Just relax. Go meet some bros, leave the phone at home and just go hang out somewhere. If you have no bros, fuck it go catch a movie. It isn't lame to go on your own.
Next the silly twit and embrace the new single life. And if you're still feeling ragey, get up early tomorrow, get a good breakfast, let it go down and hit that gym up like a red-headed stepchild. Don't come out until you can barely make it up the stairs without grabbing the bannister for dear life! I love those kind of workouts. I don't think I've even felt anger in nearly five years simply due to those utter burn-workouts. And I am a devout member of the church of death metal!
[deleted] 10y ago
Red flags everywhere. From going on the trip in the first place to the guilt texts you received to the slutty behavior and lying. If you stay committed to her you're a fool.
Carbone 10y ago
1st red flag was her type of friend
Squeezymypenisy 10y ago
Sounds like he didn't
BadCopWithDonut 10y ago
It's ok son! Just take this as a learning experience. Probably she wasn't ltr material to begin with.
You already stated your mistakes with the phone calls. But the problem lays deeper in you...It's your mindset that lead to this situation. You cared way too much. Focus more on your own life. You should be too busy with work and other plates to care about dealing with this shit! Don't act needy ever again.
Polishrifle 10y ago
This is the key right here. Change your mind set. You know how easy it was for those girls to get those dudes back to their room? About as easy it is for you to go to the store, buy a bag of potato chips, and eat the whole damn bag.
Change your mindset: Outcome independent, abundance mentality, and you are the prize.
DontBeAMangina 10y ago
Block her number and all of her friends numbers until she comes back. When she comes back dump her over the phone without a reason. Clean and clear.
There are two extremes a woman will put you through when she knows she's doing something wrong: a) no contact while she's gone, or b) constant calls and texts reminding you how much she "loves" you. She's only doing b because she wants her beta bucks when she comes back. OP we warned you that your gf will be sucking strange dick for the trip, you should've dumped her as soon as she told you about the trip.
There's a huge lesson to learn from this. Don't commit to a slut. Fuck it, don't commit to any woman until your 30+.
FinallyRed 10y ago
Don't even wait for her to return. One text: "it's over". Boom, done. I wouldn't recommend to do it out of spite, but the longer you wait the more time you have to rationalize. Make your decisions quickly.
Beautiful_Idealism 10y ago
Don't even do this. Just go no contact.
FinallyRed 10y ago
Sure, but make the decision immediately and stick to it.
krustytheclown2 10y ago
Fuck man. You know what you need to do. In the future, don't get emotionally invested in women too much. Especially someone as crazy as your LTR. you don't need us to tell you what to do because the rationale part of your brain had been telling you exactly what to do for a while.
Rugnardl 10y ago
grieve if you must; not for the trollop that you trusted with your heart, but for your innocence. and, rejoice! for you have learned a valuable lesson earlier in life than most, we hope. she betrayed you, but the gift is your deeper grasp of the concept that yes, all women are like that. so, do not allow your grief to linger. usher it out with haste as soon as you are able to live with the truth that washed up on your shores alongside it. grieve, yes, but be wary. grief too quickly turns to anger. your anger is normal, understandable, relatable. the confusion and frustration is normal. but they are only hurdles you must overcome, same as she was. you must be thinking, if all women are like this, then i do not want one, and that is a perfectly reasonable thought. are they all so cruel and ruthless? they can be. am i fated to be alone? only if you allow it to be so. remember though, women act according to their biological imperatives. that dagger in your back seems malicious, but to her, it was about survival. yes, all women are like this, but it's not because they are evil, it's because they have and live by a different set of goals than us. it's just how they are. you can allow the weight of this knowledge to bear down on you, crushing you with that understandable hopelessness, let it goad you into an unhealthy, perpetual state of anger and depression, or you can accept it and live a more fulfilling life because, or in spite of it. read everything on the sidebar, a second time if you have already. use your grief, anger and loneliness to motivate you towards rising again.
iamjacksnipples 10y ago
This was very well spoken. It could use some formatting, but the point was well delivered.
Rugnardl 10y ago
I don't know why I wrote it like that, but it felt correct. Gentle, even. And that felt necessary.
profeyn 10y ago
I've been the dude who didn't end it at a similar scenario and I'm here to tell you to absolutely fucking next her immediately. You do not want this person in your life. Use the pain to build yourself up and it will be the best thing you've ever done. I promise.
BorMato 10y ago
Wait you're gonna break up with her just because of some guys voice in the background? Like I know all the other stuff upset you but from your post I'm gathering that the snapchat thing was the thing that you pushed you over the edge?
I have been on TRP for over 2 years and would consider myself quite aware of the material included, so don't tell me I'm still plugged in. But man I feel like this is just unnecessary. I feel like if you handle this right you can make this one work.
However, I respect a man who sets his boundaries and takes action if a chick breaks those boundaries. So ultimately if you feel this is necessary, all the power to you man and good luck.
I'm just saying I personally wouldn't be so suspicious.
TSM_Bjergson 10y ago
Every man has had their heart broken at one point. & I can honestly tell you that getting mine broken was one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
It hurts, and it will probably hurt for a while. Use this time to focus on friends/school/work/gym. Also, read The Rational Male. If you've already read it, reread it.
Also, you need to BLOCK her off everything. Right now. Her and her friends, cut ties with them all. You might not want to, you might think it's not needed but it is. Delete her from your life, there's nothing she will add to it but more useless pain.
RP_Vergil 10y ago
She don't love you. Not while being humped around by some other strange cocks.
She only want your presence, hate to break it to you but it's a big red flag to begin with by how her friends behave to begin with
[deleted] 10y ago
Do I remember replying to you in another subreddit? Cause in pretty sure I'm going to say the same thing that I did last week. She's getting fucked with or without you. Remove her from your life. And stop expecting things from a child. She's not mature enough to decide that you are worth more than spring break.
Broda_mane 10y ago
Hey bud, something very similar happened with me and my college gf. I can tell you life with you ltr will never be the same. Mine wasn't and I made myself into a little fucking bitch just to make it work. If I could go back and talk to my younger self I would say "what are you doing!? Cut bait and run you stupid fuck head. When you do your life will go from shit shoveler to big boss!"
And that's what I want you to do. EVEN if it was completely innocent, this incident will never become right in your head and completely disappear from your memory. So start climbing bro elevate yourself and ditch the heavy pack you're carrying. You'll climb faster that way. Make sure you follow up with an FR.
AZTRP 10y ago
I second this.
OP It will never be okay in your head. No matter what she says when she comes back. You will never be at peace with this moment if you stay with her. Move on and a few years down the road the memory of you being her BF while she had other dicks in her will fade a little.
Other dicks! Maybe even someone's dick that's in this sub!
fledglingpiller 10y ago
Yeah follow up with another FR about what happens when she comes back. Good luck man - on to better things.
Valreddit99 10y ago
Definitely NEXT. Also, try not to fall in the trap of a woman's manipulation power. She might try to return you as her former beta bitch, by saying nothing happened, baby I still love you, I thought all the time about you, it was just the alcohol, etc.
Make up your decision right now, and stick to it!
Oh_FuFu 10y ago
Get out somewhere and do something nice for yourself. Maybe buy yourself a pair of new shoes or an entire outfit or treat yourself out to some fun man, it'll help. Good luck.
fnordsnord 10y ago
New shoes? Seriously?
Steak, good wine, full body massage.
Squeezymypenisy 10y ago
Ehhh when you get a nice pair of loafers it feels pretty good.
DowntownSacramento 10y ago
Shoes, seriously. Women take that shit serious for both sexes. Pussy can be won or lost by shoes with some women.
xwm 10y ago
All of the above. Especially if there is a happy ending.
Oh_FuFu 10y ago
Can a steak or body massage not be included in "do something nice for yourself."? Troll.
MrEiffel 10y ago
Why the hell didn't you dump her she left? We told you this exact scenario would happen...
KyfhoMyoba 10y ago
If OP had dumped her before she had left or at least hinted that he would do so when she returned, there's a good chance that she'd be too upset to "enjoy" the locals.
OP, I don't know how many times I've read of guys that were railing or had just railed some chick with a BF/fiance/husband/SO and immediately after or even during the post-coital cigarette she calls/texts her man and makes all kissy-lovey-dovey "I miss you" bullshit.
Women are excellent liars. Their survival depends on it.
vengefully_yours 10y ago
Same here. She had my cock in her, now she is texting the dude and sending cute little emoji things to him. Not more than five minutes passed.
[deleted] 10y ago
[deleted]
balalasaurus 10y ago
Don't know why you've been downvoted but I agree with you here. I was in the same position not to long ago. Way too invested in this broad who tore my heart out. It was because of her that I found and accepted TRP.
My guess is that OP knew enough about TRP but didn't really accept it before this. I'll put money that he has now. The things that matter in life never come easy. The pill is one of those things.
puamua 10y ago
Most people here have had the heartbreak experience, it's a necessary step along the way to realizing the truth of your reality as a man in 2015. Your gf's friend is treating you that way because she doesn't respect you, and your gf is allowing it because she also doesn't respect you. The best thing you can do now is move on and find some strange pussy to comfort you.
Justmadeaccount4 10y ago
You will feel a lot better in the future when you realize you chose your dignity over some girl. She WILL use every trick in the book and try to manipulate her way back into the relationship. Hold strong.
balalasaurus 10y ago
"Great men are forged in fire". It is this kind of pain which will make you stronger. We've all been there man. Rather than go on and talk about feelings, accept that this is over. You have so much to look forward to now.
My advice to you right now is to hit the gym. Let the iron console you. After that, hit some of your closest boys up tonight and go out and get some strange. Do what you need to do but realize this chapter of your life is over.
What has happened has happened. You can't fight the feelings but at the same time you can't allow yourself to be upset with what you've lost. What you should do is look forward to what you stand to gain
RedHeimdall 10y ago
Well, good news is, if you learn from this and correct the way you handle things in the future, no chick will ever be able to hurt you like this again.
DowntownSacramento 10y ago
Shoulda nexted that as you dropped her off and drove her away. Maybe when she suggested it.
You fucked up rule #1 in my book: no serious LTRs. Hypergamy is always one person away, branches are low and high to swing on, and you receive no benefit from exclusivity; in fact you pay for the privelege.
So suck it up buttercup, you are coming off like a lil bitch...lesson learned. Good news for you is that everyone goes through this at least ONCE. Don't let it happen again.
and PSA, any woman going out of state or country wants a piece of ass, just like you would. Hotel sex is big among women....
aaron_the_great 10y ago
Be strong, brother. You're doing the right thing.
scholarly_pimp 10y ago
First love, brother. It's your first serious relationship. It's going to suck. You gotta just deal with it whatever way you know how. Don't rely on me or anyone here to do it for you.
I will say though, that the probability of you being with this girl for any length of time is slim. I've had several serious relationships and they've all lead me here.
In every relationship, minus the last, I've lost sight of who I was and focused less on myself instead of being the best man I could be. And that's all I can say to you.
Is she aiding you in being the best man you can be?
Doubtful. Down the line you'll see how silly it is to get upset at things like this. She's young and in PCB - AWALT brother.
Get out there and get some strange ass!
Beautiful_Idealism 10y ago
jesus christ stop responding
it hurts but treat it like a band-aid
slater2j 10y ago
You're 20, you have so much time to better yourself and experience life and other girls.
nyrp 10y ago
Move on. So much better stuff out there! Don't think about it too much.
Squeezymypenisy 10y ago
You're pretty young so don't worry. There are a lot of fish in the sea, best thing to do is go out with bros or go somewhere and hit on a few girls. Do something to get her out of your mind. You will probably feel a lot better about breaking up woth her after it happens because most girls hate being the one recieving the breakup. It makes them lower in their eyes, if I'm saying that correctly.
zomgpark 10y ago
Downvoted for 3 reasons
Read sidebar, and therationalmale.com posts.
aaron_the_great 10y ago
Honestly one of the worst posts I've ever seen on here. He knows that he could read up and find advice elsewhere but we all know how hard and shitty it can feel to be in that situation and he just needed us to give him some solid advice. Get out of here with your, "you're not perfect, go read advice since I'm too much of a piece of shit to give you the encouragement you need," bull shit.
zomgpark 10y ago
Cool
balalasaurus 10y ago
Exactly. Some lessons need to be learned the hard way. This guy can go fuck himself.