At the start of the year, I did a 3 month training in a physical activity. During this time, there was a girl in class (let's call her FriendToLoveInterestGirl who initially I was very neutral about. I was also seeing someone at the time.

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After breaking up with my gf, I started hanging out often with FriendToLoveInterestGirl. We both were prioritizing friends over relationships, and would often end up taking the same classes and attending social events. For the past 6 months, we've been seeing one another 3-4 times a week in group / individual settings. We've never officially gone on a date, or expressed any sparks. Initially we both had a rule to not date or view anyone from this physical activity club as a dating prospect.

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However in the last month that has changed for me. She became a sleeper love interest, and I didn't realize that I really liked her. This is probably the second time in my life that I've felt this strongly about someone (I'm in my late 20s).

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All out friends have asked us individually, why don't we date. My response has always been that I'm not into her (even though I kinda have been the last month), but I've been more graceful about it by saying publicly that maybe if she wasn't into this physical activity, I'd view her differently.

Her reaction on the other hand has been of *eyerolling* whenever she gets asked that question. Until 2 days ago, we both hasn't discussed this, but when we did, she had a very defensive reaction that "I'd never pick you". Last night, we went out with a group of friends, and she was constantly around this one guy and it is clear that he is interested in her. If anyone saw them last night, they'd think she is into him too.

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Today, I messaged her saying that I'd be less available overall (she still doesn't know that I like her), and I'm bailing from this one month-long course I had signed up for with her to concentrate on other higher priority items.

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She's asking if things are okay between us.

SHOULD I TELL HER THAT I HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER AND NEED SOME TIME APART?

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For:

- At least I'd be open with my feelings and will know for sure how she's going to react. It's a step closer to closure, even though I know what her answer is going to be given how defensive she's been acting anytime someone brings it up.

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Against:

- This is my only social group. I'm from another country, and if things get complicated, others in the group are closer to her, and she'd win the friends.

- It would be the easy way out, when in fact I should be acting like she's any other love interest of mine. I'll be the first to admit, I'm responsible for getting friendzoned and not dropping hints or escalating.

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