Since when I found trp my lifestyle and overall behavior has changed dramatically. I became more egotistical and...apathetic? I don't feel the need to socialize, to have friends or do whatever everyone is doing. I reached the point where my life is (probably) more interesting than talking with people about boring and mundane stuff such as sports, tv series and topics which distance yourself from your goals. I know I sound arrogant, but honestly that's how I view it. After reading trp and philosophy for like 7 months, most of the people around me seem close-minded. Thus my old "friends" as well. They started hating me since when I started thinking about myself. When I'm around unsuccesfull people I become conscious and ask myself "Why am I here wasting time with this people? What the fuck am I doing with my life?"
If I had to define my behavior in some simple adjectives, I would say: apathetic, arrogant (in the meaning that I feel superior but I demonstrate it unconsciously with body language and not words. It still seems to make people around me uncomfortable and unfriendly but I don't do it on purpose to be honest), outcast and cynic. This seems to attract women, but on the other hand I seem to remove myself from the social life. In this moment I don't feel the need to socialize with anyone tho to be honest. I'm 18 and I love being alone and in monk mode. It feels great to accomplish things almost nobody can accomplish or people who don't even try to become the best version of themselves.
What do you think about my situation? Should I really care about making friends and being accepted in social circles at my age? I honestly feel like my only goal should be improving myself and nothing else really matters
RaughKee 5y ago
You need to work on your charisma. Successful men are charismatic, look to build new social circles with people who share your ambition and interests. As children we make friends out of proximity as adults we choose friends out of coherence to our goals, interests, and lifestyle.
iSwallowedTRP 5y ago
Maybe I have the wrong connotation of charisma, but I don’t believe this to be an indication of a man becoming successful or even powerful.
Could you elaborate?
BasketCase559 5y ago
Not all successful people are charismatic and not all charismatic people are successful. But charisma is a positive quality. It can be a way of manipulating people or a way of making others trust you and feel good about you, depending on how you use it.
iSwallowedTRP 5y ago
I agree with this.
stylesm11 5y ago
I wouldn't abandon your old homies especially if they are there for you, unless they drag you down then drop that shit
Two_kids_in_a_coat 5y ago
What have you accomplished that makes you so much better then your friends? What blood sweat and tears did you push through to reach these goals that they weren’t strong enough to handle?
OfficerWade 5y ago
If all your friends hate you probably are doing something wrong, you need to be normal and only use the red pill when you need it. It’s not something you have to work at.
chazthundergut 5y ago
Sounds like you're turning into a douchebag.
Could you please elaborate on all the cool shit you're doing now that make you too interesting to sit around with the dudes and talk about sports and chicks and other mundane shit?
Now that you've taken the RedPill, what improvements have you made to feel this arrogance? Are you making bank now? Grinding on your purpose every waking moment? Drowning in pussy?
[deleted] 5y ago
Egotistical and apathetic, now those are some values I wish I held. Truly iconic
I don’t see how you could read this and like yourself, which is the point of trp. You should love yourself so much that nothing else matters. A man generally cares a lot about the things he truly values. Humans have emotions, unless you’re a sociopath.
Being self centered and apathetic will not likely lead to you being fulfilled. Because human nature says that we care about other people and we have emotions.
lifeisweirdasfuck 5y ago
I honestly feel empty, probably due to the long lasting depression I had in my childhood as I never had many friends and barely went out. A few years ago I started going out and making friends. Having friends was my only desire, but now I feel like I don't need anyone anymore. I don't really know what's my problem. Maybe I'm a sociopath for real.
leroymcfiggans 5y ago
you stripped the ground bare to prepare your foundation into manhood. Now you can build, get out into the world and explore new places, people, and experiences. I found that listening to history podcasts and reading history are really good tools for understanding the fact that people haven't really changed over the course of human evolution per se, the situations just get more "complex". Understanding these complications can help develop empathy for other people. Just remember having empathy doesn't mean being a bleeding heart for every bad thing that happens in the world, it's understanding that you can take steps to prevent that happening in your life.
[deleted] 5y ago
You’re not a socio path, man. Otherwise you would have never been depressed about having no friends. It’s good that you’re being honest with yourself.
Just keep on that path. Sometimes you do have to be alone like this to find out who you are. Because of the past depression, socializing is likely part of the equation for you, but it’s fine to not figure that part out right now in my opinion.
OneBrowUp 5y ago
This. Also even if there is anything 'wrong' with you, then it's rather slightly narcissistic than sociopathic. Which actually should help you achieve your goals.
TheCondor96 5y ago
Overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer.
Peter_B_Long 5y ago
I've ditched all my pre RP friends and I've found new ones. It doesn't matter how much you improve, your old friends are not going to treat you with the respect that new friends can offer. They see you at a certain value and they've grown accustomed to it. When your value rises, they reflect that improvement on themselves and hash out the negative feelings towards you.
I was in an LTR when I found TRP. I had friends and she had friends. Our friend group joined together. When I ended the relationship last year, I figured that her friends wouldn't stick around with me which was fine, but what surprised me was that my friends stopped talking to me and kept talking to her. These were friends that smoked weed every day, lived at home, pretty much very blue pill.
After the relationship I sought out to make new friends. I joined a new social circle and they are amazing people. They have careers, I'm actually going to a bachelor party this weekend of a new friend of mine who's getting married in 2 weeks. They love to have a good time, they are always the center of attention on the dance floor and they make pulling girls very easy. I love them and I wouldn't of been able to find these new people if I didn't drop the old ones.
Good Luck.
lifeisweirdasfuck 5y ago
Yeah man my old friends too were the usual weed smokers. Every single time I used to hang out with them, while they were rolling joints, I was realising I was with some losers with no ambition in life. I’m glad you have found new friends you share interests with. Hope I will find them too soon
Peter_B_Long 5y ago
Yeah I remember one time I was heading to the beach with some new friends like 6 years back. I wanted to pick up my skateboard from a friends house whom we were friends since I was like 8 years old (I was like 16 at the time).
I asked for my skateboard and he was like, "can I just say something.. you're a BITCH". and I actually reacted indifferent. I was like, "okay?". He changed his tone and replied sincerely but in a low voice, "how come you don't hang out with us anymore.." and I said, "Cause we just smoke weed, eat pizza, and play COD all the time. That's boring." and I left it at that.
Maybe I should've invited him but the point is that I chose to let go of low quality friends. I chose to look out for myself and hang with the crowd that provided the most value.
Some of these new friends that I made at the time when I was 16 are the same people who stopped talking to me after my break-up 7 years later. I took it personally when it happened, but now I'm grateful that I went through that experience because it was like the trash took itself out and I was able to find even higher group of friends. Actual red pilled brothers and sisters whom attract crowds when we're in public and can dance like there's no tomorrow.
A tip for you for finding new friends.. go everywhere you're invited. I mean luckily for me (if this discourages you from going out or finding events to go to, I'm gonna be really mad bro) one friend still stuck around after my breakup. I have known him for 7 years and he's one of the most charismatic people I know. People go up to him and start conversations with him. Anyways this dude joined a fraternity in college so his social circle was huge. Every weekend he has to decide between 3 different parties to go to. I hit him up after my breakup and we started hanging most weekends. Either we would go out solo and just bar hop and have a few beers, or he would bring me with him to parties or events he was invited to.
One time specifically that I remember is when he invited me to a pool party. I kinda didn't want to go. I didn't have a great body, I volunteered to drive so I couldn't get drunk, and I didn't know anyone at all. He convinced me to only go for a little bit. We stayed there until 4am and it was the turning point for my current social life. Every single person I met was just so awesome and positive. I felt like I fit like a puzzle piece with everyone I talked to. One chick I talked to (the bride for the wedding I'm going to this month) has the same career as me. This other couple I talked to said they were going to the same music festival in a different state that I was going to (I met up with them at the festival and we had an amazing time). I actually moved out from my house and I now live with 2 of the people I met that night.
lifeisweirdasfuck 5y ago
Very inspiring and interesting story man. I'm glad you've found that high value guy who helped you climb to the top of the social hierarchy. Once you find positive social circles everything in your life starts becoming positive and helps you climbing the maslow's pyramid too. I hope I will find someone with whom I have similar interests and ambitions in my near future. I'm still 18 and people say I'm young but time passes fast and my philosophy is "the sooner the better". That's why I hate people telling me "you have time", cause it's a bluepill mindset. I don't have time at all. Procrastination eats time. I don't want to be the guy who wakes up at 25 but I'm still stuck in my comfort zone and I struggle with leaving it even by being conscious and aware about it. I really struggle with making new friends and increasing my charisma, that's why I'll read Dale Carnagie's book on how to make friends as soon as possible with the hope it will help.
iSwallowedTRP 5y ago
TRP is a tough crowd when it comes to Jordan B. Peterson, but I’d recommend checking out chapter 9 in his new book. The chapter is called “Assume that the person you are listening to might something you don’t”.
This can help you. I’d also say, realize that yes, you have a skill set such that there’s a skill which you are better than a particular person. This skill changes person to person. However, this is only half the truth. The other half is, EVERYONE you meet is better than you at something.
Helpcalculus 5y ago
I was just like you. Keep one thing in mind.
Arrogance has a tendency to slowly halt your progress, since you always think you are better then everyone.
Keep yourself in check from time to time.
friendandadvisor 5y ago
You seem to be tracking quite well, with only one exception: You don't need friends, you need 'pleasant acquaintances', also known as 'business contacts, etc..."
If you are apathetic and arrogant, cover it up a little bit. People don't like arrogant people, because it shows what losers that they, themselves, are. Cynical people are a chore to be around. Learn to act like you give a shit...just a bit.
infamous3238 5y ago
Find new friends.
Ricardo2991 5y ago
You sound like a fucking rock who doesn't understand basic social concepts.
cl3537 5y ago
"Bla bla bla I became a selfish asshole and people hate me now." People hate you because you you have no empathy towards anyone.
It isn't your 'self improvement' it is that you listen to the Aspies here and can't have any real connection with anyone anymore.
MentORPHEUS Senior Endorsed 5y ago
I've often said that the difference between confidence and arrogance is competence.
If your life and accomplishments are actually interesting and valuable, certain behaviors might be interpreted as confidence. If you're an unknown in the group, boldness becomes harder to justify in observers' minds and the exact same behaviors are considered arrogant. You are much more likely just to come off as an angry asshole, and not the good kind!
Learn about assertiveness in the sidebar as a contrast to passive/aggressive. Also consider that charismatic leaders leave people wanting to follow them, and they lift the esteem of others rather than climb atop them.
Wrath_of_Trump 5y ago
Are you sure you're not just being an antisocial dick? Being apathetic and cynical is like blowing cigarette smoke in people's faces, I don't know where you learned that in TRP. Do you outgrow friends sometimes? Sure, but at 18 years old that seems a little odd unless these guys are a bunch of actual losers. If that's the case then you don't like being alone, you just don't like hanging around slugs.
lifeisweirdasfuck 5y ago
that's probably the exact reason. I should make friends who are high smv
Edog3434 5y ago
As you said you feel like your life is more interesting than socializing. You need to find people who lives are more interesting than you own. Plus people who are genuinely care about. Build a tribe of friends who will help you reach your goals.
lifeisweirdasfuck 5y ago
Thank you, I will absolutely keep that in mind
Two_kids_in_a_coat 5y ago
What does a guys Sexual Market Value have to do with your friendship with them? Are you gay?
lifeisweirdasfuck 5y ago
lol for high smv I meant succesfull guys who have ambitions in life.
RedPilledRoaster 5y ago
Because you’re now superior to them.
Continue and leave them behind to wallow in their pathetic jealousy.
However, you shouldn’t treat everyone the same. Reward those who are valuable to you.
Read the book “How To Make Friends and Influence People” and/or the post “How To Hold Frame.”
lifeisweirdasfuck 5y ago
Yeah I read that post and it's quite interesting. "Alphas do something for betas if, and only if, they helped the alpha defeating his challenges first"
This is what I'm trying to do. I ignore people who do not bring value to me. My problem is that even if there is a guy with higher value (who is basically more alpha than me) something inside me wants me to challenge him and be better than him. I would never think to become friend with him cause I have that "superiority" feeling everytime and it would lower my value if I tried to become his friend. In his eyes I would just look like a beta "who's looking for an alpha who can let him join his tribe and provide security.".
RedPilledRoaster 5y ago
That’s natural. There is a biological hierarchy engrained subconsciously in our minds and if we see someone on our level we want to compete with them to see who’s better. Just don’t be a butthurt passive-aggressive beta.
Men can be friends and compete. Just look at Golden Era bodybuilders. If you lose, you lose, but then you learn from who beat you (who was more alpha in that case) to better yourself.
Also, men shit-test each other to test manhood. If you react like a beta/woman, whoever is shit testing you will mark you as a bitch and won’t give attention to you because you are not valuable to them.
jm51 5y ago
Outcome dependence?