Most of the guys on my campus who get laid don't have the best physiques they are just tall, have a good face or are popular.
The ones that do have good physiques are athletes but they would get laid regardless of having a good physique.
Most of the gym guys I know do not get laid often, at least the ones who take it seriously.
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oldsoulkt 8y ago
This. After I lifted and got my SMV value up, I noticed not only women found me more attractive but but my confidence increased and I found pure happiness and enjoyment in lifting. Lifting is for self improvement. The entire RP is for self improvement.
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oldsoulkt 8y ago
100% couldn't agree more.
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berkeleybearcal 8y ago
I don't know man I've been lifting for a while and I have great posture but I know I'm not attractive because I don't get a lot of matches on tinder. I have depression as a result and I'm seeing a psychiatrist. But at the same time I'm using my time effectively and trying to work hard in school and play rugby. However I'm not 100% focused because of the depression and it is because I know I'm not objectively attractive.
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frankreyes 8y ago
Have you been to a doctor? You should
I also found a really good book about it: "The Depression Cure: The 6-Step Program to Beat Depression without Drugs". I'm following to the letter+lifting and I feel better most of the time. I have a stressful job and it is taking its share.
Kwantuum 8y ago
Or maybe you suck at taking good pictures of you.
anon1moos 8y ago
You're not attractive because you think you're not attractive.
In terms of Tinder, it means you have a shit profile. Get some better pics (you can have great pics even if you're not good looking). Lots of women actually read bios, a killer bio can go a long way.
Yashugan00 8y ago
The basis of your confidence is the amount of tinder matches you get? Since you're getting professional help, maybe focus on that external validation seeking. Women won't fix your problems, at best they allow you to temporarily pretend they're not there (bluepill)
berkeleybearcal 8y ago
I am already putting in a lot of work in myself. I am not a pussy and would never take anti depressants like many pussies in college do.
Now I am sorry if I come off as entitled when I say this but I put a ton of work in the gym and I deserve to be considered. But this is going to take some work and I need to get a good job to save up for the surgeries I need.
If I can get a great GPA, become a division 1 athlete and fix my apperance so that I am considered conventionally attractive then I'll be a happier man.
chasethecake 8y ago
You're still seeking validation from outside sources, fix that attitude. Your happiness has to come from yourself, women and such will follow.
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TheRedStoic 8y ago
I've gotcha. I understand how you feel.
However, you don't deserve anything when it comes to "being considered". You can't negotiate attraction.
More power to your work ethic you're going very well, you do deserve that acknowledgement, but beyond that, no one can owe you attraction. Sorry bro that's just not how it works at all. Nor should it.
Keep crushing, start a new hobby you enjoy and begin to Master it bit by bit, this helps build small successes "the best anti depressant bar none" and a more interesting life at the same time "very attractive".
If you still look as bad as your implying "needing multiple surgeries" then start saving for them ASAP. In the meantime work on what you can work on.
You can either fix it. "Don't worry"
You can't fix it. "Don't worry"
Or you don't want to fix it. "Don't worry".
Those are really the vast majority of options in life boiled down. So don't worry. Just work and play.
berkeleybearcal 8y ago
Yes I agree I can't negotiate attraction and honestly I am not that ugly but my measureables work against me. With that being said, there are a lot of holes in my life regarding hobbies so I still have a lot of work to do in finding things that I enjoy and working on myself to become a better person.
maxofreddit 8y ago
Echo /u/TheRedStoic here.
This is a "covert contract" as mentioned in NNMNG. You're doing one thing to get another. It's the same argument we'll see someone post on /r/deadbedrooms about doing everything "right" for their wife, but not getting any sex.
It sounds like you're lifting so that all the ladies will get out their little notepads & turn to the page for criteria on "Getting in my Pants" then go down the list and saying "Oh! /u/berkeleybearcal spent 2 hours in the gym today! Better put +5 by his name!!"
Just be aware as to WHY you're doing all your work. If you are, indeed, doing it for your own self improvement, and to make yourself more badass & a complete & balanced man, then keep on. If youre doing it for some outside reason of approval (I'll show them) or to get a girl (Wait till she sees this), then while your improvement may indeed be note worthy, the world & especially the ladies are very fickle & won't be bowing at you feet for long, if at all. You'll come up feeling even more empty because you had that covert contract that said if you do this, you'll get that. The only person who's even considered that contract, let alone read & signed it, is you.
It goes back to the bold in /u/TheRedStoic 's post You can't negotiate attraction and that's what the whole covert contract thing is about.
If you've got work to do, whatever that means (lifting, grades, income, surgery) go ahead and do it. But don't you fucking DARE do it for/because of anyone else. You'll end up hating the world, because they don't care.
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berkeleybearcal 8y ago
Yeah there's a bit of the covert contract going on here. Honestly I do all of the aforementioned things for myself. But I need to put on more work to be a balanced man. It's a long work in progress and I need to accept that I'll be in monk mode for a while without being bitter.
maxofreddit 8y ago
I get it dude...trust me...hang in there & stay focused. You got this.
onmyownpath 8y ago
If you are here asking, you need to lift more.
Young Composer: "Herr Mozart, I am thinking of writing a symphony. How should I get started?"
Mozart: "A symphony is a very complex musical form and you are still young. Perhaps you should start with something simpler, like a concerto."
Young Composer: "But Herr Mozart, you were writing symphonies when you were 8 years old."
Mozart: "Yes, but I never asked anyone how."
brooklynisburnin 8y ago
To me, overall around 70 to 80% of my success is based on lifting.
half of it is physical visual, it's like Tinder, they see you and in the first 3 seconds they decide if you're fuckable or not, that simple.
RXRob 8y ago
Being tall helps. Having a good face helps. You can't control these things.
A good haircut helps. Nice clothes help. Not being fat helps. Being toned helps. Inner confidence helps. You can control these things.
Stop making excuses and put some work into yourself.
harbeltpl 8y ago
Lifting hard gives you an endorphin rush that lasts all day! I see a huge difference in my mental state on off-days. On the days I lift I find myself to be more relaxed, happy, and social.
EtchyTWA 8y ago
It is completely and utterly immaterial, except as regards how it changes your confidence level.
Yareally archive is your friend on this. If you just want to get laid, stop going to the gym and start actively trying to get laid (and learn game to save yourself time).
If you want a better all round life then sure, lift and earn more money AND learn game, but neither money nor lifting will get your dick wet as much as just mass approaching with some game knowledge under your belt.
If you know game to a good enough level you can be fat, ugly, dressed like shit, flat broke and have mLTRs. See Rsdtyler in his "love handles" era for details. If you have no game then all the money and muscles in the world will not help.
Usually because the gym doesn't tell you its not interested in fucking you.
crazycattime 8y ago
100% this.
The reason TRP stresses lifting is not for getting laid. If you interest is solely in getting better with women, lifting will not really help.
Not that it hurts, but even getting shredded doesn't help you get laid. The only way to get better with women is to practice with women. The forever alone crown on MISC can attest to this.
You should still lift, but don't let that interfere with your pickup practice time.
frankreyes 8y ago
The question here is: How and where?
EtchyTWA 8y ago
Outside, with women.
Go and do, then read up on where you get stuck.
Bulk_king11 8y ago
True to an extent. You definitely need game to get laid. But working out helps your over all confidence. And women will start to treat you differently. It's almost necessary if you ask me. My game has always been on point. But I noticed something interesting this month that TRP talks about that I thought wasn't entirely true until now.
I started bulking up more and this past month I have been approached 4 times. I might get a girl to approach me twice a year before. This month 4 different woman have came up to me. Gave me their number. Started talking to me. Or even had a friend come talk to me for them. Muscles matter more than you think. You don't need them per say to get laid but they just boost everything that comes with game and life. It's like starting a business. There is a bunch of things you can have in place to help you success, if you slack in one, it doesn't mean you won't success but you're lessening your chances. "How important is advertising?" It's not necessary but it's very important and could make or break you
EtchyTWA 8y ago
You can get the same effect with a giant pink hat from the thrift store.
Bulk_king11 8y ago
You have fun with that and see if she comes up to me and my manly muscles and good posture. Or your..pink hat
EtchyTWA 8y ago
The hat.
Always. Fun uber alles.
Bulk_king11 8y ago
This isn't seddit your peacocking is outdated. Put in some work in the gym. Which I can tell you don't
EtchyTWA 8y ago
May I suggest you go and read the yareally archive?
Gym does nothing without game.
Bulk_king11 8y ago
I said that. What's that's have to do with a pink hat. Have you put any of this to the test or just go by everything you read
EtchyTWA 8y ago
I'm old mate.
I did all this before the internet was even thought of.
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EtchyTWA 8y ago
Look.
TO go from fat guy to ripped shredded guy will take about 18 months to 3 years.
TO get laid will take about 6 weeks.
The question was - do I need to go get ripped?
The answer is no.
Ta da.
RobertCarraway 8y ago
Game and lifting are two sides of the same coin. If I had to choose one - i'd choose game. But you're way off the mark with you're idea that it only helps as far as confidence goes.
Game is just an understanding of how to communicate SMV. It works a lot better if you actually have SMV to communicate. This is where lifting comes in.
EtchyTWA 8y ago
How do you know?
Why do you need actually high SMV? Most game is based around having none and using psych principles so it doesn't matter.
RobertCarraway 8y ago
Because I have personally experienced the change where women started looking at me like a sexual object. Increased confidence is part of it, but the confidence also comes from a feedback loop because women want to sex you more.
Yeah, but that is short-term nightclub game. Why have hollow, fake smv when you can have the real thing? It's just like selling any product. You can sell crap and make it work, but having a great product that people really want makes your life a lot easier.
EtchyTWA 8y ago
Did your bulking up coincide with you finding TRP and game, by any chance?
Yep, but afaik nightclubs aren't being banned any time soon.
because it takes 6 weeks to learn that and 2-3 years to get built. OP just wants to get his dick wet.
Analogy for you - lets say you didn't work out but instead put all your effort into earnign a shitton of money and you are now a billionaire.
if you are asked about getting laid minus money you might go "fuck no, my results shot up once I had lots of money its essential" and from your own POV you'd be right, but its not right in total.
Ideally you want to be tall, handsome, rich, jacked, understand social dynamics and famous. The area of maximum leverage to get laid from a standing start if you have nothing is social dynamics and its the only one that is absolutely essential if you want more than falling into relationships semi randomly because you get chosen due to your SMV.
To be fair, i over egged my initial comment a bit, but that's because OP needs to get moving and can help himself very quickly if he just gets off his ass and approaches, he doesn't need to be told his end goal is years of gruelling lifts away.
RobertCarraway 8y ago
No. I started learning game back in college when Style and Mystery were first becoming known, about 8 years ago or so. I have many years of constant but modest game improvement to act as a control. I gained 20 pounds after a girlfriend and I broke up a year ago - in hopes of making her sorry, of course.
My bulking up did coincide with considerable wardrobe improvements and a posture transformation though, so your point isn't lost on me. I'm not sure we disagree that much.
Edit: lifting and game go together so well that I would encourage him to do both simultaneously. Each benefits the other. Its very synergistic, to use a bullshit corporate term.
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EtchyTWA 8y ago
Other way around - people think things which take hard work have value. They are of course wrong.
k.
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EtchyTWA 8y ago
That's quite the self limiting belief you have there.
I won't try and argue you out of it, its not worth the effort.
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EtchyTWA 8y ago
No.
JackGetsIt 8y ago
How much do you like symmetrical, youthful women with nice tits and ass?
RobertCarraway 8y ago
yuck!
marianasentmenudes 8y ago
It's only a supplement that should increase your chances.
Got gains but no pussy = social retard
[deleted] 8y ago
"In life, if you wanna be noticed, you gotta be a ripped cunt, a shredded cunt, you're gonna go to the gym and be a sick cunt. You're gonna fuck bitches. You're not gonna give a fuck. Because thats what we do bro. "
No excuses.
DennisReynoldsAMA 8y ago
RIP
MrArnie2 8y ago
True poetry right here.
Queef-Latinah 8y ago
Fucker left us too soon.
[deleted] 8y ago
He never left. He's a part of every sad cunt that wanted a change.
We're all gonna fucking make it brah.
[deleted] 8y ago
Fuck yeah
Big_Daddy_PDX 8y ago
Is it ever presented as "optional"?
epicness 8y ago
Having a great physique makes about 1/3 of your SMV. The other 2/3's are displays of status (alpha psychology/confidence, wealth/popularity) and your sexual capacity/prowess (sexual awareness and ability to escalate aggressively or assertively). These other guys may be capitalizing on the other two. But yes, working out builds some confidence, but mostly makes girls more physically attracted to you. If you have sex before having a great physique and after having a great physique you'll notice the difference. If you have one of the other two or both, a great physique will only increase your results. If you have none of them, building your body is an easy way to start.
SimulDadRP 8y ago
I can tell you this; I was out of shape and now I'm ripped. Every single woman I've made out with post divorce takes my shirt off almost immediately. It's smooth sailing from there.
It matters. Do it, but do it for you. You'll get the same results with your physique either way, but they can sense whether it's for you or for them. It being for you is better. It's the difference between hot motivated guy and player douchebag.
rothkochapel 8y ago
Lifting helps with the QUALITY of your lays, not quantity. You can be out of shape and still get laid but it probably won't be worth your time after a while. You'd be much better off lifting rather than chasing 5s.
[deleted] 8y ago
depends on a myriad of factors and what kind of aesthetic you have or can pull off. Here's the thing though-it's never going to HURT you to be toned and fit at the very least. Having some muscle can and will only help you in life, regardless of what aesthetic you're into. Don't get it confused and think that lifting has to be 'ripped' or 'huge' or whatever the fuck. the important thing to take away from that advice is being in shape and having some kind of definition; hardly has to be body builder status
everythingisthrown 8y ago
It's not necessary. It's useful as others said for getting you on the right path but you don't need to be giant, have a 6 pack etc to get laid.
[deleted] 8y ago
I bet most of these guys are tall and mesomorph body type. So, they don't look scrawny or fat. They need lifting less. Like women do, it seems the other men that would greatly benefit from lifting do not exist in your frame of reference.
Can a 6' tall guy that is skinny at 150 lbs great raise his attractiveness by gaining a good bit of lean muscle? Is that even a question?
[deleted] 8y ago
If your not naturally good looking or naturally good with Women you need to lift. You'll get benefits in two areas:
Physical:
Get musclier and more defined when you lose weight. You'll look good in clothes as everything will fit you and you will be more physically imposing.
Mentally:
Sticking to a lifting program long enough to get results gives you actual experience and confidence. Because you KNOW you can, and do hard things regularly. You can walk into a room and feel confident that you are more disciplined and focused then the majority of the room. That confidence can be translated to attraction.
youcantdenythat 8y ago
You want 10s or do you want 5s?