I’m in a long term LTR for a few years now, with a good woman that knows how important it is to keep me sexually satisfied.
During the course of the relationship, I’m become convinced of the effectiveness of the dynamic that, whenever there’s something that is annoying me, I take my very real anger out when we have sex.
Right now, there’s something very small that’s annoying me. I bought her a sexy outfit that she needed to try on. She forgot about it and now I can't return it if it doesn't fit.
The cost of the item is low, but she’s broke, so I tend to buy her a lot of items like this.
Back in my BP days, I was totally indoctrinated in the feminist imperative doctrine of “talking about your feelings” and would have already verbally expressed my annoyance to her about it. Now I know what a pussy, frame-yielding dynamic that yields.
So what I’ll do, and I’ve done something similar numerous times in the past, is tie her up/spank her and “discipline” her for her forgetfulness.
Although she may think of it as “discipline”, it is, in a very real way for me, discipline without the quotes. When she’s restrained, I’ll get in her face and say with real anger, “you need to always remember you’re my whore and satisfying my sexual needs is your number one priority, whore, and you need to never forget it”. This type of behavior is very unlike me in “real” life. I'm pretty laid back, though I try to be cocky/funny with her in our interactions.
Needless to say, it’s pretty hot sexually. Obviously, women’s appeal to be sexually dominated is well documented on this sub.
But, bigger picture, I think it’s a helpful dynamic to avoid verbally expressing how you might be annoyed with, or angered by, a woman’s behavior, no matter what the nature of the relationship. Better to let it appear on the outside that it doesn’t bother you and much better still to make it appear like you’ve forgotten it.
But if you’re a brooder like me, I tend to hang onto things and a great way to communicate it is in a sexual context, where it’s much hotter to express sexual possession of a woman. In the “real” world, these expressions of possession and minor/petty annoyances are invariably going to be perceived as needy, weak behaviors.

SocietalEngineering 8y ago
When you're pissed about something, always verbally communicate it. It's only the betas that hold that shit in.
You don't like the way things are going? Tell her about it. Get mad if you have to. Throw shit across the room if it makes you feel better. You don't need to be a little bitch about it, but you definitely should be communicating when something is wrong.
zandd23 8y ago
@gideon_zotero . I've certainly struggle with conflict avoidance my entire life, so you're spot on about that. Over the years of this LTR, I've had occasion to more directly express my boundaries regarding more serious matters and that's been challenging, but also rewarding.
This particular item was less than $10, so it really was a small matter. The challenge is always determining whether any particular matter is something small I can work through in this sexual way, or something larger wherein, as your comments suggest, it is in fact a means of conflict avoidance.
Andreas1871's comment particularly brought this to mind and I agree that petty grudges aren't healthy. But as ObeyTheCowGod pointed out, this is a method that I'm trying to use to work through those petty, small things and have them dissipate somewhat.
Though I will add that there is no substitute for changing behavior patterns to try and avoid those things that annoy in the first place.
Andreas1871 8y ago
I don't think holding petty grudges like that is going to be healthy for you psychologically in the long term. And that has nothing to do with feminism.
ObeyTheCowGod 8y ago
Did you read the post? It was about a guy who has a tendency to hold onto grudges but has found a novel way to not do that.
Andreas1871 8y ago
I did read the post. I don't think that actually gets rid of the grudge.
fenghsui 8y ago
Hmm. I think that's a cool paradigm. I don't think people should take the advice willy-nilly, though. I know a very beta guy who likes to gag and assfuck his girl as a way to show dominance, because he is so prickly, egotistical, weak, and generally undominant otherwise. He sounds like... well, like a girl. Needless to say, they may enjoy it in the moment, but it doesn't increase their level of respect for him. If anything, it decreases it through contrast. Aka "he can't handle my emotions and shit tests, so I feel completely unanchored, like I'm drifting and screaming at an uncomprehending brick wall, which then wants to fuck me as though he was a man." Each of them has been desperately unhappy.
Other than that, yeah, I'm with you, push her around, spank her, good stuff. Just be wary of letting it become a mechanism to compensate for weakness in your game elsewhere. You can check her on it while demonstrating you don't care. "Hey, I needed you to try that shit on. I don't appreciate the forgetfulness." Then when she shit tests, pass. But be careful. We all know women have highly attuned senses for how you're feeling. Also, they're seemingly biologically incapable of accepting blame. Don't expect her to take responsibility. An apology is the best you'll get.
zandd23 8y ago
"You can check her on it while demonstrating you don't care. "Hey, I needed you to try that shit on. I don't appreciate the forgetfulness." Good advice, thanks.
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