"The Red Piller's Guide to Online Dating:" Word Fodder

So glad you posted this. I just noticed myself doing this last week and couldn't really pinpoint exactly what I was doing. All I knew was that whatever came out of my mouth usually wasn't what I wanted to say. Things were always softened.

I was reading some old emails from my ex-fiance that I was comfortable with and noticed that I almost never softened my language with her. It seems like I mostly do it at work because I have a female boss who is an overweight feminist and all of my coworkers are female so I feel compelled to supplicate a little. Do you think it would be advantageous to continue using some word fodder in a situation like that or is it counterproductive?

I opened a tinder chat with "I don't usually date sluts, but maybe you could be an exception". She replied with "that makes me angry, but strangely drawn to you" I felt like I had been given cheat codes. I knew what was going on for her better than she did.

I'd like to add the word "just" to your list. I've had to consciously monitor myself in personal and professional messages to stop using it. I think it's victimizing yourself and seeking sympathy when you make a request rather than state what you want. Examples:

"I just wanted to remind you that I need that report by tomorrow" should be "Don't forget that I need that report by tomorrow."

"I was just wondering if you're free on Friday night" should be "I want to see you on Friday night."

"I'm just looking for a ride to the show" should be "I need a ride to the show if you have an open seat."

How do you communicate to men?
Same way or different?
Alpha is alpha with women, what do you need to do with your pals and other guys?

I hope at least one person takes this too far and goes full caveman "come bar we drink den fuck"

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I personally disagree with this and won't implement it into my game. Texting is already boring as shit and you'll only make it worse if you speak to the girl like you're the Terminator.

Smileys and other terms which you call "word fodders" are a good way to convey that you have a fun personality. They represent emotions/facial expressions that would otherwise be imperceptible to the person on the other side. These things are, in my opinion, tools of communication and they can be very good tools if used wisely.

I agree with your idea but I think that it comes more down to the attitude that we employ rather than the words we use.

I know that you are the top RP reference when it comes to online game and you know a lot more than I do about this. I've learned quite a lot from your other threads but this one advice I will choose to discard.

Thank you, OmLaLa.

Word fodder was a really bad habit of mine. I think it is a natural bad habit for "Nice Guys^TM" and natural BP-ers because they (and I, in the past) are so bloody keen to avoid looking 'predatory'.

In truth, that is exactly how you need to come across and definitely how you should come across - if the rest of your 'package' (snort) is in good shape.

If you are earning, learning, lifting and glowing with the light that a decent life provides, a girl will want that successful alpha to be predatory.

Word foddering implies that the girl is not aware of the game that is being played, when in reality she is more aware (and now more in control) than you.

I stumbled on to this by accident when my phone died and I temporarily switched to a prehistoric old phone that needed the old "press '2' three times for 'C'" routine. Started sending texts like "meet me 5:30 ricks wear red dress."

When people say abundance mentality this is exactly what they are trying to say. You may polarize her the wrong way, but that's the point. It is far better to polarize 90% away from you and 10% toward you than 100% lukewarm going nowhere. You have to be willing to walk away.

I use your 'What're you looking for' line frequently, lately a bit further down the conversation than I used to. I find its the main turning point (see: polarization) of the conversation. I'd say about 20% of the time they ask 'on tinder?' and I just say 'Yes' as most A&A attempts usually just freak them out and they don't reply. What do you typically reply with and what is another polarization technique you sometimes employ in its place or to compliment the line?

Especially "haha", "lol" and smilies are a real plague for beginning guys. That is a huge attraction killer. Just listen how many women talk - they use any opportunity to laugh or chuckle at the end of their own phrases, as if to shake away responsibility. Man doesn't do that. I'm responsible for every word I type, and I mean it. Eradicate that shit from your written speech immediately and completely.

Also, OmLaLa, that is one great post.

This is a brilliant post, i was actually thinking the same thing and realize that i word "fodder" some of my statements, so thanks for pulling my socks up. Question though what if the hot girl is reciprocating to your alpha-esque, do u then throw in a few ambigousness?

Polarization is key. It clearly divides those who are interested from those who aren't. It's a time saving strategy ==> "Go for the no."

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Many guys believe the duration of the interaction is directly proportional to her interest. True, but only if you're escalating appropriately, and only in person. There's a point in the interaction you must make the next step, whether it's with kino, relocation, asking for her number, or nudging the topic to a more sexual vibe. If you linger too long at one base, the next batter will be up. She will lose interest assuming you're not interested or not confident enough to push the limits. Either way, los tingles gone.

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Go for the no.

Gentleman, the abundance mentality of text, this is awesome.

Superb article. It makes a massive difference to how you are perceived. No confident, alpha dude who gets laid would give so much consideration as to whether she is going to find you too blunt or not, you know what's probably going to happen? she's probably going to get tingles, this is the same for personal interaction too for example, when I get a girls number, I don't say ''can I have your number?'' I will pass her my phone and say ''put your number in'' one is blunt, the other less so.

Also note: if your going to be blunt online and avoid word fodder (and through text) she's going to expect you to be more blunt in person, which people often call ''charm'' when it comes from a don huan.

My friends Tinder Profile

He's got no idea about TRP, hes just naturally like this.

This is great.. I'll just add that word fodder can serve a purpose in real life but it should be used sparingly and with purpose.

That purpose should never be to de-polarize.

Places where you may want to use it:

During your opener. Say "hey", then pause so that she has time to process. Otherwise the answer to your opener will be "What?" 95% of the time.

To change the subject after someone else says or does something awkward. "So...." With the correct timing you will get a laugh and lead the conversation to more fruitful places.

Don't do any of this over text because she has all the time in the world to process and you cannot control timing or subtext over instant messaging.

OmLaLa you shouldn't label this explicitly for online dating. All of this advice is also valid in real life interactions. It's harder to execute though, one needs the bodylanguage to pull it off.

Just compare this:

"Hey I thought you looked cute and I wanted to say hi to you" is nice, unthreatening and not polarizing enough.

"Stop! You are cute. Hi." This generates much more tingles if spoken with confidence and a handsome smile. Telling her to stop walking, telling her she is cute, doing a meaningful pause and then continueing with a strong hi. You're in now.

Ok this isn't the place to ask questions but I was chatting a tinder slut the other day and asked

"what are you looking for on tinder "

She replied. "you"

What would you have said next?

Good post, I've been guilty of this even recently with a plate that I had to let go and break on her own. I partly caused it by acting 'softer' after I knew her a few months in this manner, I think this is what caused her shit to start getting out of control. Don't fall for this trap, I say put this on the sidebar because so much game nowadays is text game and it's so easy to screw up just once and lose every bit of progress made just from one single text done wrong.

An example that Stoicism can apply in text game as well. Always say less than necessary.

Why aren't you a fan of Models?

I add the "on here" or "on Tinder", etc., because 3/4 times after I ask "What are you looking for", I get, "What do you mean" or "on Tinder?". In which case I reply with, "On Tinder" or "Yeah" respectively. I figure I just cut it down to one sentence.

To be honest, I'm actually not a fan of this post. Winky faces, hahas and lols create comfort with a girl. Literally had some Chinese chick tell me in her bed last night that she didn't intend to take me home but she just felt so comfortable around me. This comfort started with me initiating the texting and with her initiating the meet.

If anyone knows anything about the popular mystery method, game is Attraction+comfort+seduction. Attraction is easy (but might not come naturally to some (was my biggest area of work)), I'm a natural when it comes to comfort and seduction is just not being a pussy and making moves. Comfort is by far the hardest one to build with a girl, especially if you are a player or typical asshole. As we all know, shit tests are usually easy to tell (attraction), but comfort tests (comfort, duh) is a little harder to decipher.

Building comfort before you even meet a girl can be key. Just use it sparingly. Every post shouldn't be "haha :) yeah", but it should be in your repertoire, mixed in with the redpill mentality. Really, that's all it is. If you go into texting with the redpill mentality, it doesn't really matter what you say.

Great post mate. Do you think "I was wondering, bla bla" as an opener would be a word fodder?

I'm a bit confused, many girls have told me that I tend to impress them too much, they feel insecure as I'm too bold.
It seems I have missed many opportunities to seduce shy girls, so now I'm deliberately working on softening my approach... what gives?!

Most of communication is non-verbal. Most of online dating is complete fuckery anyway, I don't know why anyone would waste time analyzing it to this degree.

Post your best photos. Get them offline as soon as possible. The End.

Crap, OmLaLa! Just commented my smartest words on your previous edition of this post and now it is gone, wiping all comments and votes! Previous post was so much better than this one! LOL

EDIT: found my comment in overview:

"Let's go to the bar for some drinks?"

"For some drinks"is redundant as well: most people go to a bar for drinks - unless they are lawyers. Asking is weak as well: "Let's go to the XYZ (bar)".

In general, our communication is full with redundancy, PC shit and social filler. Both because most people do not think about their writing and they want to be liked. The best writers actually remove words - only to leave enough of them to actually say what they want it to mean. But, as many are paid by the word...