tl;dr Girlfriend (RR) of over a year wishes to explore bisexual thoughts, I support but insist on having a side girl of my own. She disagrees and says that she can't be herself.

After a marathon sex weekend that left a possibly ruined mattress and me having to sit to pee from being too sore we start texting back and forth this morning. It started with funny comments about the aftermath of the weekend and drifted into how awesome titties are. (Lady tits. Damn you guys are gross.)

She then says that she needs a girlfriend so she can play with them. I agree and amplify by suggesting we find twins, so neither one of us can complain that our play girlfriend isn't as cute as the other. I am not at all serious about this, as I know she is not the type to share.

RR: I need a 'girlfriend' so I can play with titties. :P

WS: So do I. Let's look for twins so we won't get jealous

RR: Who will be jealous?

WS: You and I (It's honest, I'll be damned if mine isn't as hot as hers)

RR: You think?

WS: Yeah. Your gf cant be cuter than mine

RR: Are you referring to me or to getting another gf?

WS: Yes

RR: Babe be serious

WS: How can a conversation about you and I having our own girlfriends be serious?

It was at this point that I knew that we were about to revisit a topic we buried months ago. She got emotional about it back then and it ended with her saying that she can't risk losing me. I took the pill months before we met, so she only knows my RP side with some LTR comfort mixed in.

RR: Because I am serious.

WS: You want a girlfriend

RR: Maybe

WS: And you remember the rules we agreed on the last time we talked about it

The rules are 1) she gets one, I get one or we share 2) I am the only cock in the relationship 3) No live-in situations

RR: You get another one.

WS: Or we share yours

RR: I just, I feel a part of me is hidden and I need to act on it.

WS: K

RR: Are you mad?

WS: Would I be mad at a vibrator?

RR: What?

WS: Would I be mad at a vibrator?

RR: No

WS: Why would I be mad about you having a girl toy?

RR: Because you want one too

WS: Maybe. Maybe not. But if you get a play girl you should consider how jealous you'd feel is I had one.

RR: Will you be jealous?

WS: I would only get jealous if I'm denied the same opportunity. And as long as we date I'm the only cock that goes into you, so stick with girls. (Beta, but still a reminder that all rules apply)

RR: Baby, you always have been and always will be the only man for me, as long as you'll have me.

WS: Again and again and again

WS: Would be convient to share your girl though

RR: It's not just about sex. (Yeah...saw this coming. The hamster is revving up.)

RR: I know. And I wouldn't deny you the same opportunity...but you would be with another to be even with me, not for the reasons I need to. I need to find out

RR: if I'm just curious or if I really am bi. If you were with another girl, it'd be to be fair, and I'm not okay with that.

So in a nutshell, she wants to go play with another girl, and make me stand there with my dick in my hand. Ain't happenin' little girl. Even with the rules we both agreed were fair she wants what she wants. So I call her on my way to pick up lunch. I'm not transcribing the conversation. I verify with her that her desire to play with a girl has a sexual component. She agreed. I explain that I've been down this road before (in my beta days) and that it ended badly for me because I didn't ensure my options for extra partners. She states that it's a purely sexual agreement for me and that she's not okay with that. She'd be okay if I wanted to explore my bisexual side. I laugh and remind her that the rule is only room for one cock in our relationship. She gets mad and hangs up on me. Minutes later I get a text.

RR: It sucks that I can't be myself. (Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached our cruising speed of 35,000 rpms. Feel free to move about the hamster wheel.)

I ignore this text. I still have half my workday to finish and a production meeting to attend. In the meeting my phone keeps ringing. It's her, not in the mood for this.

RR: Call me.

Nope. Daddy's busy.

More calls. My boss looks at me. I stand up and chuckle "Children." The whole room gives a knowing laugh and I step out. The call is short. I give her a silent count of five to hamster on before I interject. I explain that what she wants is action without consquences, and that I don't accept her reasons for wanting to step outside of the relationship and denying me the same option, regardless of intent. I also tell her that we will talk tonight. She says she wants to talk now. I repeat in a much firmer tone that talking will be tonight. I'll add an update later.

Update I leave work little after six and send her a text

WS: Leaving work

RR: Kk. Head hurts bad

That tells me that she's stressed herself out over my possible reaction. This is good as I know exactly where her mind is. I'm home in about an hour, she pulls in about thirty mins after. I'm on my xBox, feet on the coffee table. She sits on the couch next to me. I'm ignoring her and I can tell it's getting to her. I pause long enough to check a text on my phone but I don't reply to it. I have a habit of keeping my screen at an angle so she sees that I got a text but not who it's from. She starts to ask questions about my day which I don't answer. She asks about the text, I don't answer. She gets up and stands in front of the TV, I tilt my head to look around her. She turns off the console.

I stand up and roughly push her to the wall. My face is inches from hers and I can see that she thinks this will be another rough fuck like we had this past weekend. I undo the button on her jeans and slide my hand in to cup her. Wet. I can feel her hand on me. I'm not hard and it confuses her. I squeeze a bit and say "Who owns this." Not a question, a statement. Her answer, "you", is quick. I pull my hand out and wipe it on her thigh. Turning away I tell her to go home.

She stands there for a moment, pants still undone, and watches me pick up my phone and start texting. When she realises that I'm not going to respond she leaves. I wait until she's about halfway home before I send her a text with pics of three women that I've kept on the back burner with the following message:

WS: Pick one, or I pick two.

Morale of the Story Be clear about your position from day one and HOLD TO IT. Be fluid in your defense, but don't give ground. PUA tactics of push/pull, ignore, and plow through work well for me. She's admitted that she hates/loves that I don't just give in and that my methods of dealing with her moments are frustrating.

My greatest strength here is her awareness of my abundance mentality. There are two outcomes to my situation. She will drop the issue and pretend it was nothing, or she will leave. I do not expect her to agree to me having a side girl.