tl;dr Girlfriend (RR) of over a year wishes to explore bisexual thoughts, I support but insist on having a side girl of my own. She disagrees and says that she can't be herself.
After a marathon sex weekend that left a possibly ruined mattress and me having to sit to pee from being too sore we start texting back and forth this morning. It started with funny comments about the aftermath of the weekend and drifted into how awesome titties are. (Lady tits. Damn you guys are gross.)
She then says that she needs a girlfriend so she can play with them. I agree and amplify by suggesting we find twins, so neither one of us can complain that our play girlfriend isn't as cute as the other. I am not at all serious about this, as I know she is not the type to share.
RR: I need a 'girlfriend' so I can play with titties. :P
WS: So do I. Let's look for twins so we won't get jealous
RR: Who will be jealous?
WS: You and I (It's honest, I'll be damned if mine isn't as hot as hers)
RR: You think?
WS: Yeah. Your gf cant be cuter than mine
RR: Are you referring to me or to getting another gf?
WS: Yes
RR: Babe be serious
WS: How can a conversation about you and I having our own girlfriends be serious?
It was at this point that I knew that we were about to revisit a topic we buried months ago. She got emotional about it back then and it ended with her saying that she can't risk losing me. I took the pill months before we met, so she only knows my RP side with some LTR comfort mixed in.
RR: Because I am serious.
WS: You want a girlfriend
RR: Maybe
WS: And you remember the rules we agreed on the last time we talked about it
The rules are 1) she gets one, I get one or we share 2) I am the only cock in the relationship 3) No live-in situations
RR: You get another one.
WS: Or we share yours
RR: I just, I feel a part of me is hidden and I need to act on it.
WS: K
RR: Are you mad?
WS: Would I be mad at a vibrator?
RR: What?
WS: Would I be mad at a vibrator?
RR: No
WS: Why would I be mad about you having a girl toy?
RR: Because you want one too
WS: Maybe. Maybe not. But if you get a play girl you should consider how jealous you'd feel is I had one.
RR: Will you be jealous?
WS: I would only get jealous if I'm denied the same opportunity. And as long as we date I'm the only cock that goes into you, so stick with girls. (Beta, but still a reminder that all rules apply)
RR: Baby, you always have been and always will be the only man for me, as long as you'll have me.
WS: Again and again and again
WS: Would be convient to share your girl though
RR: It's not just about sex. (Yeah...saw this coming. The hamster is revving up.)
RR: I know. And I wouldn't deny you the same opportunity...but you would be with another to be even with me, not for the reasons I need to. I need to find out
RR: if I'm just curious or if I really am bi. If you were with another girl, it'd be to be fair, and I'm not okay with that.
So in a nutshell, she wants to go play with another girl, and make me stand there with my dick in my hand. Ain't happenin' little girl. Even with the rules we both agreed were fair she wants what she wants. So I call her on my way to pick up lunch. I'm not transcribing the conversation. I verify with her that her desire to play with a girl has a sexual component. She agreed. I explain that I've been down this road before (in my beta days) and that it ended badly for me because I didn't ensure my options for extra partners. She states that it's a purely sexual agreement for me and that she's not okay with that. She'd be okay if I wanted to explore my bisexual side. I laugh and remind her that the rule is only room for one cock in our relationship. She gets mad and hangs up on me. Minutes later I get a text.
RR: It sucks that I can't be myself. (Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached our cruising speed of 35,000 rpms. Feel free to move about the hamster wheel.)
I ignore this text. I still have half my workday to finish and a production meeting to attend. In the meeting my phone keeps ringing. It's her, not in the mood for this.
RR: Call me.
Nope. Daddy's busy.
More calls. My boss looks at me. I stand up and chuckle "Children." The whole room gives a knowing laugh and I step out. The call is short. I give her a silent count of five to hamster on before I interject. I explain that what she wants is action without consquences, and that I don't accept her reasons for wanting to step outside of the relationship and denying me the same option, regardless of intent. I also tell her that we will talk tonight. She says she wants to talk now. I repeat in a much firmer tone that talking will be tonight. I'll add an update later.
Update I leave work little after six and send her a text
WS: Leaving work
RR: Kk. Head hurts bad
That tells me that she's stressed herself out over my possible reaction. This is good as I know exactly where her mind is. I'm home in about an hour, she pulls in about thirty mins after. I'm on my xBox, feet on the coffee table. She sits on the couch next to me. I'm ignoring her and I can tell it's getting to her. I pause long enough to check a text on my phone but I don't reply to it. I have a habit of keeping my screen at an angle so she sees that I got a text but not who it's from. She starts to ask questions about my day which I don't answer. She asks about the text, I don't answer. She gets up and stands in front of the TV, I tilt my head to look around her. She turns off the console.
I stand up and roughly push her to the wall. My face is inches from hers and I can see that she thinks this will be another rough fuck like we had this past weekend. I undo the button on her jeans and slide my hand in to cup her. Wet. I can feel her hand on me. I'm not hard and it confuses her. I squeeze a bit and say "Who owns this." Not a question, a statement. Her answer, "you", is quick. I pull my hand out and wipe it on her thigh. Turning away I tell her to go home.
She stands there for a moment, pants still undone, and watches me pick up my phone and start texting. When she realises that I'm not going to respond she leaves. I wait until she's about halfway home before I send her a text with pics of three women that I've kept on the back burner with the following message:
WS: Pick one, or I pick two.
Morale of the Story Be clear about your position from day one and HOLD TO IT. Be fluid in your defense, but don't give ground. PUA tactics of push/pull, ignore, and plow through work well for me. She's admitted that she hates/loves that I don't just give in and that my methods of dealing with her moments are frustrating.
My greatest strength here is her awareness of my abundance mentality. There are two outcomes to my situation. She will drop the issue and pretend it was nothing, or she will leave. I do not expect her to agree to me having a side girl.

toughloveadvicegiver 10y ago
TBH you should just cut her loose. For all you know she's doing stuff on the side already but that's not the issue.
She is PUSHING boundaries you two already set. Like a child. This is not acceptable. Everything was squared away the first time you had the conversation. She came up with some bullshit self-exploration logic as an excuse to pester you into an unfair situation agaiiinnnn.
A good woman will not do this. You clearly like this one if you're dating her but fact of the matter is she should respect you more. Be even firmer with her. If this convo comes up again it's time for her to come pick up her stuff. I would have done the second time it came up.
I mean, you do you. But don't let this be a recurring conversation.
ErasmusOrgasmus 10y ago
Even disregarding the content, this is a great FR because it's detailed as fuck and it shows not just what happened, but how it happened. The quality of FRs has been going down the pan rapidly in the last few months but this was good.
As for your situation OP I think many are going overboard by proclaiming that your GF definitely already has a side bitch, but that said I do think your only options are either to employ dread game or simply go out and just pick up another chick and bring her home (nuclear option). When questioned just nonchalantly say "I thought we were bringing chicks back now" and shrug.
I think you spent a bit too long actually debating the issue with her, thereby legitimising it, when the better approach might have been to deal with it swiftly and with amused mastery, not taking her shit seriously, e.g.:
Her: I need to explore my bisexual side
YOU: Sure I could go for a threesome
Her: I need to explore my bisexual side
YOU: (laughs) Aww aren't you cute (ruffles her hair, carries on with life)
Pyehouse 10y ago
Frankly, you just sound massively insecure and emotionally immature. Your logic is all screwed up, your rational is focussed on jealousy and your need to "have" the same "things" she "has" ( people aren't possessions or objects ) it comes from a a perspective that is just... well I'm pretty sure most guys stop thinking that way around the time they realise that just because Timmy has an ice cream it doesn't mean they automatically qualify for one.
I'd personally leave your girlfriend ( you're not good for her ) and go explore your massive psychological issues before dipping your toe back in the mating pool.
[deleted] 10y ago
OP if she asked if she could sleep with another guy to explore herself would you be OK with it? Cheating is cheating whatever the excuse is - don't pass this off as "OK" because its with another girl. If you are in a LTR with this girl I'd break up with her for the sole reason of essentially suggesting an open relationship much less the disrespect of saying you're not allowed to sleep with anyone else besides her.
Soon enough it will be she wants to try an open relationship and next thing you know you'll be sitting at home with your dick in your hand on a Friday night while your "GF" is out "exploring herself"
KartagoPill 10y ago
This girl is a plate, because she behave like one.
WolfenSatyr 10y ago
Check the update. All is well.
[deleted] 10y ago
Sorry, but I have to disagree that "all is well". You may think you punished her and showed her who is in charge but at the end of the day you gave into her desire to "explore" her bisexual side. What is the point in being in a LTR if you want an open relationship? If she was a plate I could understand this response as you don't care about exclusivity but the whole point of a LTR is exclusivity which you have just implied "isn't important" in her mind.
I again ask if she asked to sleep with another guy would you be OK with it? If not, why are you OK with it with it being a female? The difference between a plate and a GF is the exclusivity. If you want to share your "GF" with others, downgrade her to plate status. If you want to spin multiple plates, again downgrade her to plate status. There is no point in being in a LTR unless you are trying to actively secure the single women because she has traits you find highly desirable.
I'm no fortune teller but I don't see this ending well.
[deleted] 10y ago
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KartagoPill 10y ago
She is the PROBLEM. LTR material? Jokes on him.
Doomsday_ 10y ago
OP, you really shouldn't be arguing about this. You're validating her, rewarding her bad behaviour with increased attention.
Instead you should have soft nexted her--gone radio silent for about 3 days. That's the proper way to punish her for trying to overstep your boundaries.
WolfenSatyr 10y ago
Check the update. All is well.
rebuildingMyself 10y ago
My ex wanted to do a threesome with another girl but u wasn't to be allowed to touch the other girl at all. Laughed in her face and told her that unless it's a girl we bring home for both of us to play with its not happening.
Being cuckolded is not my thing, sweetheart.
Appleseed12333 10y ago
"RR: Are you referring to me or to getting another gf?
WS: Yes"
I love this comment. It perfectly shows how to tease a girl by not taking her seriously, while introducing humor. Well played.
bsutansalt 10y ago
I need to explore my bisexuality.
Fine by me. I'm cool with the occasional threesome.
rebuildingMyself 10y ago
That's the only acceptable way for her to explore.
Redpillc0re 10y ago
She wasn't asking for your permission; she was either trying to make you jealous or she wants you to encourage her. You should agree and amplify, under the condition that you will find the girl for her (with the obvious benefit of sharing). If you 're not interested in complicated relationships, tell her so and break up with her. Dont let her take the lead in this.
[deleted] 10y ago
RR: I need to explore my bisexuality. Me: I need to explore my polyamory.
DominantReality 10y ago
Do you ever use polyamory to your plates to describe your situation? Maybe not in the beginning, but I would think talking about "free love" and polyamory might be a good way of describing your "relationship status". Any ideas?
Hatorader 10y ago
My friend once told me, "Cheat as much as you can on the bitch." Pretty good life advice.
[deleted] 10y ago
You're worth as much as your word is, and if your word is "We're monogamous", then you are. Beta bitches are the ones that say one thing and do another.
I know we're in The "Everything Goes" Red Pill but for fucks sake, y'all meant to be better than this.
DominantReality 10y ago
Exactly. I just think if you cheat and you're dishonest then you're just making life more difficult for yourself. Holding in lies is taxing on the mind.
Why would you waste your time and energy keeping your life divided when it would be better spent fucking plates who "don't care" if you're fucking around.
It's just immature and outside of your frame, only making things more difficult for yourself.
Hatorader 10y ago
Either you do it or she does, play your game how you want.
Gat0rBat04 10y ago
If it were me, I'd bend her over the counter when I got home and fuck her in the ass before we had a conversation. Females are very primal, and if it's one thing they understand, it's dominance.
-Petulance 10y ago
Wants to explore her bisexuality and gets annoyed that it'd be purely sexual on your end.
As if you can spell bisexual without sexual.
Dildo_Saggins 10y ago
So I've read your update, but it means next to nothing if you don't share how she reacted to that. I like what you did on principal, but I'd like to see how this turns out.
[deleted] 10y ago
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[deleted] 10y ago
My ex asked me how I felt about her messing with girls. I dumped her that night. Sounds crazy right?
Backstory:
She claimed her parents berated her on false accusations of lesbianism due to liberal college - she was actually eating pussy and claiming adult status. She attended before we met.
Significantly downplayed her numbers and history. I'd rather not be lied to than fed a blissful story.
Dudes without full backstory will say I'm crazy. What they don't realize is this is a tactic to cheat on you with your permission. Hamstering. They're putting their own mind at ease. You can't monitor their every move. What happens when it's supposed to be just the girls, but one brings over her boyfriend? You can figure out the rest.
mordanus 10y ago
She most likely already has. If she hasn't she definitely has a specific girl in mind already. She's just trying to rationalize the course of action at this point.
collidoscope 10y ago
He lost ground in this situation a long time ago. The fact he stepped out of a work meeting to talk to this slut about her need to hook up with other sluts is insane. If a woman even thinks I would take time out of a work day, much less a meeting, in order to talk to her about her wanting to fuck other people, I obviously misread her stupidity, her selfishness, or my ability to be in a relationship with her. She doesn't respect you. So she's got to go.
GrandmasterHurricane 10y ago
Off course, she did it behind his back since before her and OP even met. Trust nobody.
[deleted] 10y ago
If she's talking about the other girl like they've already gotten to know each other, then it's inevitable that they'll fuck.
panzergling 10y ago
She already has a girlfriend and is seeking retroactive approval. She brought it up months ago, and "dropped it". Meanwhile, she still sought a girlfriend. Now, she found one and needs approval. He's gonna give her the green light and "oh heeeey look I have a girlfraaaaan" text comes in 3 days.
mygodimpathetic 10y ago
Yes. The trickle of truth might start coming out soon
Final_Round 10y ago
"So...I wanna explore my bisexuality..."
"Hey that's cool, when should I drop off your stuff?"
doveenigma13 10y ago
Half way correct answer.
"When are you coming to get your stuff? I have things to do this weekend."
Absolutely the correct mindset. She already has, or is courting another person. Being that this relationship has already been established as a LTR monogamous relationship, it doesn't matter what gender the other is. A poly-amorous relationship can work when both parties have equal opportunities and communicate.
marrio91 10y ago
Oh big black santa, that needs to be on a poster.
polu85 10y ago
Threesome or nothing. End of discussion, wtf you taking calls in a meeting you're not in fuckin high school
cover20 10y ago
You write very well, including the emails or texts or whatever those were with her.
hebola4lyfe 10y ago
You dont even realize that you have feelings for this bisexual ( bipolar ) girl. You're in a oneitis .
Stop wasting your time with this manipulative slut . She probably has 2-3 side-girls for sex without you knowing it .
Avoid bisexual (bipolar) girls they are too much work and hassle .
ShanksNes 10y ago
Her knowledge of your abundance is the reason for your abundance. Boy, this is fucked up for sure. Have to say you have a very strong frame.
inaddictaquate 10y ago
While others here are quick to dismiss, I think what you've got here is fine. Some women are worth training, and, so far, you believe she's worth having around for now. You haven't abandoned your stance on the issue or abundance mentality. I like it.
aguy01 10y ago
Why are you even entertaining this? "Sounds good let's get this threesome going" is all you should be saying.
WolfenSatyr 10y ago
Check the update. All is well.
aguy01 10y ago
Idk if you made that up or what but it's cringingly bad. You are being way too dramatic. Amused mastery is always the way to go. You are over invested and acting borderline autistic. I suggest you start fucking other women and plate this one because A) she's a hoe and B) you have terrible oneitis.
[deleted] 10y ago
"Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached our cruising speed of 35,000 rpms. Feel free to move about the hamster wheel"
Made me giggle like a child, thank you!
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One_friendship_plz 10y ago
Back to Adam Lyons Man, my new goal is to score this kind of life with 2 girlfriends.
rebuildingMyself 10y ago
She wants to fuck around with the girl in private while keeping her bf at home with his dick in one hand while paying her bills with the other. Definitely a shit test
sardinemanR 10y ago
I don't understand this. Why are you asking a girl for permission? Just get another girl and be done with it. Or tell her she can do what she wants but then you're gone, end of discussion. Don't waste time with her hamster rationalization.
Also just silence your phone. I only have mine on vibrate but even that I turn off if I'm going into a meeting or have something important that can't be interrupted. Your professional life/career is far more important than putting up with the interruptions. You handled it well, but that's not something that looks good either.
WolfenSatyr 10y ago
There is no permission being asked. I am holding to the rules I set with her a year ago. Treat women like you would treat a child by using clear rules and consequences.
I have a son that I share with an ex that has a "casual" idea about motherhood. He is the one thing that I would place above all else.
My boss knows the situation and trusts me to handle it the best I can. It's another lesson in setting boundaries early on and sticking to them.
GrandmasterHurricane 10y ago
You spent too much time talking about it with her. An adult wouldn't need to explain himself so much to a child. Just get a new girl and show her off.
Banchamekk 10y ago
You wouldn't debate endlessly with a child, you would just say "no".
[deleted] 10y ago
Definitely interested in updates.
[deleted] 10y ago
This is a pretty big push on boundaries that OP has already set. Recommend dread game. Also recommend less texting in general as it's harder to shut this down over the phone. She's just attention whoring OP with this drama.
FrameWalker 10y ago
Holy fucking shit to the update dude. "WS: Pick one, or I pick two."
GrandmasterHurricane 10y ago
I'd say just demote to plate, and get a new girl. Or just get a new plate and tell her to step her game up because your already found your other gf.
Heavy dread.
DreamBoatGuy25 10y ago
I would also say demote because, when you get past all the other noise, the reality is that OP's gf wants to fuck other people. That's a pretty big red flag coming from a girl he's actually in a relationship with and shouldn't stand.
jb_trp 10y ago
This. If you LTR a
bisexualslutty girl, you'll get the trainwreck you deserve. OP should demote his girlfriend to plate immediately.[deleted]
WallyHotvedt 10y ago
why?
there is nothing he needs to do here, his frame is solid. It's up to her to come around to his frame of both sharing a side plate in some agreed upon fashion or she drops it. If she tries to plate one up by herself he has already set the message early on that he has no problems with abundance and dropping her. He's in the drivers seat, she needs him more then he needs her.
Firm boundaries, strong lead.
FrameWalker 10y ago
Why heavy dread?
Punishment is needed here. Interrupting at work is bad enough. She's being so blatantly disrespectful. Sharing a sexual experience is one thing but what she wants is different.
"teehee hee I've been thinking of fucking someone that's not you"
Response: "ok" a few days later : "Babe, meet Cheryl. She's gonna teach you how to such dick. Now both of you get on your knees"
Ladies: "Gurkha Gurkha gurkha"
Showing your power violently is warranted here. Walk away or agree and amplify. She must follow.
The girl is spunky. She wants to break exclusivity and could already have a girl in mind. She's already started on the warpath. She's gonna find herself between a rock and a hard place ie his frame and his dick.
king_of_red_alphas 10y ago
Lmao @ "gurkha". Like, going full facial abuse mode on them.
ScholarInRed 10y ago
You got five bucks for a bet, mister?
GrandmasterHurricane 10y ago
Op should not wait to find out whether or not a girl is already lined up. Heavy dread needs to be applied.
recon_johnny 10y ago
GUARA-FUCKING-TEE
She not only has a girl in mind, that end of the conversation has already happened. Most probably she's already swung that way, and is looking for approval.
WolfenSatyr 10y ago
Check the update. All is well.
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[deleted] 10y ago
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rp_valiant 10y ago
he's not seeking permission to have a side chick, he's A&A'ing her request. It's fairly clear from OP's post that he's not really after a side chick, he's just using the concept to hold a mirror up to his girl's desires and it's fucking with her solipsism. It actually seems to work really well as a tactic in this case.
NecroticFury 10y ago
she'll end up breaking the glass, without the mirror there is no reflection.
[deleted] 10y ago
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rp_valiant 10y ago
yeah I see your point - I believe A&A was what OP was trying to achieve but it could have been better worded to remove that ambiguity.
the_Zambony 10y ago
Exactly, she will either blow herself out or blow him. All he has to do is maintain.
SCROTAL-SACK 10y ago
Yeah.. wouldn't put up with that kind of double standard/manipulation attempts from a girlfriend. Fuck someone else, tell her you needed to "explore yourself", then drop her. She can't be trusted.
[deleted] 10y ago
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WolfenSatyr 10y ago
Check the update. All is well.
zeny_two 10y ago
She can't share her side girl because she already has one. Like someone else said, she's most likely seeking retroactive approval.
rebuildingMyself 10y ago
Or at least has a dyke interested in a 1-on-1 session
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[deleted] 10y ago
This is an interesting one. It would be a sexy proposition that I honestly wouldn't have an issue with if it weren't for the "I can't be myself" angle and the "No, you can't participate" thing. Two GIANT red flags of gargantuan proportions. In her mind this isn't just a little sexy fun experiment but rather a real life-altering/questioning experience that she doesn't want you to be a part of.
So, if it were me... I would ignore her and go date other chicks. This ain't gonna go away. She most likely has already met another girl. In fact, this situation is NOT unique and in most cases there's another guy involved. There's ALWAYS a dude lurking in the shadows waiting to pounce on the threesome opportunity. By her pushing you out of the equation, that leaves the door open for another dude.
WolfenSatyr 10y ago
Check the update. All is well.
Doctor_Mayhem 10y ago
Ha! Few things in life that can't be solved by moar plates, amirite?
colucci 10y ago
You couldn't handle the strap-on?
WolfenSatyr 10y ago
Fuck no. Got really dicey when the lube dried and she wouldn't add more. Said I need to cry harder.
GoodQualityStapler 10y ago
Nice example of Agree and Amplify here. Take notes kids, it works on all genders. A direct response whould have sounded too tryhard or even butthurt.
colucci 10y ago
Yea dude I feel very seduced.
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[deleted] 10y ago
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SCROTAL-SACK 10y ago
The point is, she wants to fuck someone else, but doesnt want him to. 3 some is clearly out of the question because she wants to have her cake and eat it.
the_Zambony 10y ago
Apparently sharing is not in her vocabulary.
MeatCurtainRod 10y ago
You missed the entire point of OP's post. Firm boundaries. Never waver from your stance. Don't sacrifice your entire frame and position to get a little potential piece of ass.
[deleted] 10y ago
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MeatCurtainRod 10y ago
Like I said. A chance for a little piece of ass is not worth sacrificing your personal integrity, and breaking frame. You should know by now that TRP talks about this idea through and through again. If not, start reading the side bar materials.
[deleted] 10y ago
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MeatCurtainRod 10y ago
No. Incorrect. Maybe you should actually read OP's comment. Since you are lazy I'll post it here:
That is what his girl said. He also went into detail on what she was saying:
So. What was it you were saying about this being ok? You sound very bluepill.