I have Narcissism, ADHD, Schizophrenia, Autism | TheRedPill

I have 4 serious mental health illnesses plus a learning disability. Don't want to be a cancer so relationships are out of the question. Kids are out of the question too. Mom is abusive Narcissist herself, dad is Autistic Enabler. Just found out about the Narcissism today and dad is saying I am a schizo and mom is like so what if you have 4 serious mental health illnesses, sister just tells me to kill myself.

I feel like it's time to die. Can't have a healthy relationship with gf or wife with so many mental illnesses, can't have a kid. Gonna die by myself

Permalink

[deleted] 2y ago

[--removed--]

Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago

Your post is a good example of the negative side effects of modern psychology, and therapists are to blame. The therapsists role nowadays is to arrive at a diagnosis. They are not there to help you, they are there to diagnose you. Once you have your diagnosis, you can then go on to perscribe. Or access other parts of the health system. But mostly, a diagnosis is the necessary first step to pharma.

The downside to this is that there are millions of people running around saying 'I'm x and I have y and bit of z as well". Their diagnosis becomes their identity.

This is what has happened to you - your illness is now your identity. The solution is to start again - reject all of these negative emotions. Break free. You can have a decent life. You can move on. It will take time and effort, and its worth it. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

What step are you going to take today?

mattyanon Admin 2y ago

Your family is toxic and holding you back from developing as much as you can.

Can you get a job or some sort of income and leave home?

jknjhb87 2y ago

Hey Matty, thanks for replying I appreciate it.

You hit the nail on the head, I'm currently living at home and due to graduate this December with my degree. I am pretty sure I will get a job and become independent in a year or two but my main issues are just that I won't be able to have LTR's or marriage due to narcissism and won't be able to have kids either due to the other medical conditions.

Narcissist are notorious for being people not suited for relationships, (my mom was an abusive narcissist towards me and caused alot of emotional damage and may have given me schizophrenia). I don't want to live if I can't create a decent marriage/family

mattyanon Admin 2y ago

You don't sound like a narcissist - it's probably other people (likely your mother) projecting her own failings onto you.

You're able to get a degree. You're young. It won't be easy, but I think you can get past all this.

coolsocks00 1 2y ago

Gotta keep your chin up, finish your degree, and get the fuck outta that place bro. Dont let anyone that doesnt truly want the best for you, tell you what you're like.

You can get past this and live a good life.

Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago

What do you want in life? Start there

I have a cluster of disorders too. Like 4 of em. About to get a graduate degree at that. You have hope. I consistently have plates/Fwb that love my presence. You definitely have hope if you can control yourself to your best abilities and be level headed.

Start with what you want right now. How are you going to take your first step to get any of it?

Sitting in a cycle of despair will not move you forward towards your first steps of getting what you want

whytehorse2021 2y ago

You're getting a graduate degree you sneaky little autist? Welcome to the club!!!

Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago

I haven't shy'd away from it in my posting history the past two years. I def don't advertise it out the ass but I've mentioned it a ton over time

Thank you!!! Congrats to you as well.

Did things get better for you?

whytehorse2021 2y ago

Nope, still unemployed. I'll probably bail on the US in a few months if nothing changes. It took me 3 days to get hired in Thailand last time I bailed. Enjoy the decline! This is going to be a loooong depression.

Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago

Not a bad idea, especially if you love these other cultures, which I think you've stated you enjoy this stuff.

Also, with US savings and skills you could probably get a pretty sweet place right?

whytehorse2021 2y ago

It depends. I'm not a big fan of Western style accommodation in Asia. You hardly even need a fridge and kitchen because there's fresh cooked food on every corner. Don't really need hot water. Swimming pool is a great perk. A/C is a great perk.

Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago

Interesting

jknjhb87 2y ago

Hey Vermillion,

congrats on getting the graduate degree soon bro, and thank you for the support. If I had to think about what I want in life it's honestly to get rich, LTR, happy marriage, and have a healthy kid. I know it sounds kind of blue pilled but I have so many issues right now I don't think I will be able to have a kid, healthy LTR's or relationships due to narcissism (By nature we are lowkey extremely envious people abusers and exploiters , that only cares about themselves). It's like the only thing left on my list is to get rich and even if I reach that goal it's like I don't want to just purely have sex and party, I want to build something too and start a family.

Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago

Thanks man,

Okay. So here is the thing. To achieve the big desires you have set out for. You need smaller goals.

What is the first actionable step you can take towards EACH of those goals? You have to start at the foundation. You can't just build a penthouse in the sky. You need a foundation and pillars etc and build up to what you want.

What's your step one for all of those?

Also. Get away from your family ASAP. Doesn't matter if they're blood related, they are making your life infinitely harder than it needs to be

As for narcissism, you at least identify it and see it as an obstacle. Lot of narcissists can't see anything wrong with their disorder. Or if they do, downplay it. The fact that you see it as a major hurdle is a great first step

Further, you found and are on TRP. You're actually doing what you can here to find certain advice you won't find elsewhere.

So. What are your first next steps?

jknjhb87 2y ago

Hey Vermillion,

Thanks for the awesome response bro, it's really helpful and I want to say I am really thankful that your helping me out with these mental blocks right now.

You are 100% right in needing to taking the first small actionable steps so I can get toward my bigger goals.

I guess my step one right now would be to graduate on time in December with my CS+Buisness degree, and get a job as a junior software engineer so that I can start saving up money and become independent for myself. During this time i'm also going to try improving my Narcissism symptoms and potentially helping my mom and sister with theirs since I realize now that they might have it as well. I'm going to use this time to grind finishing uni and becoming a less self serving person and person who's capable of being in a relationship.

I agree with what you say about TRP too, this forum has so much good below surface level knowledge and knowledge on how know how to deal with key real life situations. TRP is really a valuable source of learning for me.

Do my first steps sound actionable and workable right now? I really appreciate you man.

Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago

Absolutely man. Your story overlaps to mine partially and it resonates

Yes. Always take actionable steps. It's fine to daydream and envision your big goals but from an actually acquiring them standpoint, you want to actually do things that get you there

Yes. Graduate for sure. Then find some sane roommates to split rent with. Lots of roommate websites etc as long as you're actually a decent functionable person to live with

My advice is don't even bother helping your mom and sis until after you move out. If even at all. Don't waste your time on it, they are causing you enough stress as is. Just focus on other goals so that you have a head start for your new life when December comes

Your first steps sound actionable but there needs to be other small steps you can take in the mean time. 6 months is a while. Develop friendships, figure out what the renting market is in your desired areas. Start applying to jobs in late October or December so that when you have your degree you might get in right away to something

Rider477 2y ago

With so much damage at home, I'd consider to live on the street / move to hot place and live from tent / find any work with accommodation [rig, holiday rep] / join army.

Every single day you get more damaged.

jknjhb87 2y ago

I need to stick it out until at least december so I can finish my degree and get my job, I feel like it would just add to the misery otherwise

Gilles 2y ago

This is rough. I can't imagine what you've been through, but I understand that it is painful. It sounds like you are super hard on yourself - it is not your fault that you grew up in a dysfunctional family. I'm not saying to go soft on yourself, you still need to work hard on making your situation better. But I think you're excessively hard on yourself. I don't believe being so hard on yourself helps you. Healthy relationship? Kids? I actually think you can have this. You've got a ways to go, but nothing impossible. I think you know this, since you found this forum looking for help. Is there anything you enjoy doing? Do you know what makes you feel good? You're thinking too much about the future. Right now you need to focus more on the present and how you can become happier. A good move would be to find your own place. It's rough that life gave you this hand, but you have the power to change it.