M 24 here - body count of 31 - attractive but not a chad and am socially inept. Meet a younger girl who’s supposedly a virgin. Was vetting for LTR and noticed some flaws. She’s sucked a lot of dick (8) and has sent a lot of nudes.
I give her a chance and we fuck after trying a few times and having been with virgins before, it seemed she was telling the truth. She was tight and hard to get it in - but hmmm she didn’t bleed the same amount as other girls. I was willing to overlook the two flaws listed above if she was actually a virgin.
After a year of dating I do some digging on her. She’s not really a virgin. Another man’s penis was in her vag. I call her out on it and she claims that wasn’t sex because it wasn’t in all the way and there was no motion. From the evidence I have, she’s telling the truth about this — but that’s still technically sex. If a penis was in your v then you aren’t a damn virgin. It doesn’t matter if you weren’t railed.
I think she’s still pair bonded with me and she’s obsessed with me.
But she lied or at least stretched the truth. The worst part is her female friend and her own fucking family told her she was still a virgin after her and her ex did that. Tf? Were they all conspiring against me because they knew I wouldn’t be with her? Am I the wrong one here? I told her my standards and told her I’d end a 50 year marriage if I found my wife lied about her past - this was right when we started dating.
To be clear, if all she did was this lame sex with her ex - I might’ve been willing to overlook it. But now she’s a girl who wasn’t a virgin AND sucked a lot of dick. I was willing to overlook one or the other - but not both. I’ve dumped her and told her I will be taking the next few months to think about things. Oh and I live in her house.
Am I being too harsh or is she still better than the majority of girls? I really can’t tell because the sucking 8 dicks thing is super low value even if no pair bonding occurred.
What would you do in my situation? Give a second chance? Please no BS fake alpha talk. Literally what would you do and does anyone have any research on oral sex and statistics similar to the divorce risk stuff?? Links?
Am I being too harsh?
Positive-Lifeguard80 1y ago
You will never end up in a marriage, if you continue to look for a "virgin".
Get a better grasp of reality? This forum here is called "The Red Pill", but this is the most blue pilled bullshit I ever read.
Horseman98 1y ago
That’s just not correct though. There are people who marry virgins. Therefore, it’s a possibility. Now - I’m speaking about lying when I said the 50 year marriage example. Like if I find out a girl lied about her past.
And I’d be willing to marry a non virgin. Just be honest and no prior hookups. A girl with one body and that’s it nothing else? I could do that.
Positive-Lifeguard80 1y ago
But you with an n-count of 31 simply won't. You're not even in the domain of meeting non-fake virgins.
Horseman98 1y ago
What are you talking about? Women lose value from sexual encounters. Men’s value stays the same.
Positive-Lifeguard80 1y ago
You set yourself up to get scammed, because every woman having sex with you won't be a virgin. You simply have no access to that pool.
Debunked by science: https://i.imgur.com/rM3iFCE.jpg
In some cultures spouse virginity is even more important to woman than to men.
Horseman98 1y ago
I’m not looking to only have sex with virgins. I’ve smashed lots of hoes. I’m only looking to -commit- to virgins. And I’d possibly bend the rules for a girl with one or two bodies but no hookups.
A single study does not debunk a meta analysis of many studies.
Anyone who says “debunked by science” is a pseudo intellectual.
Seagram7 1y ago
It isn't just the sexual promiscuity, it's also the lying. By lying, you robbed us of being able to weighting in all the factors and making informed decision on marrying you. We feel tricked, bamboozled, conned. You conned me, you sold me that famous bridge in Brooklyn and I fell for it like a sucker. I feel like a sucker. Now, don't you think anger and resentment might surface? I really believe that women do know this but women want their cake and eat it too.
I call it a "You did what?" moment that you are going through. You basically thought she was different from all the other girls, that she was special, not the run of the mill sluts and skanks out there. She was your unicorn, your special snowflake. When you found out "she did what? your illusion of her was shattered and it messed you up. She isn't special snowflake, she is a woman like the rest and women are going to women. That's what we mean when we say AWALT. Women are gonna woman. All women want attention and validation, engage in hypergamy, want to feel attractive and pretty, want a Chad to fuck them and a rich man to spoil them. The differences is how do they go about satisfying their biological instincts.
How you deal with this is all on you. Only you can say if this is a deal breaker. You're the one that is going to have to live with her in your life.
Horseman98 1y ago
This is exactly how I feel. I’m just so confused. She’s very loyal. Doesn’t go out and party. Is a homebody like myself. And is super sweet.
But 8 fucking dicks? 8? I’d be willing to date a girl with one body. But one body plus sucking 8 dicks? I just don’t know.
She first told me she “fooled around with a few guys” but was a virgin.
I took that as maybe one or two BJs and a few times of heavy make out and a hand job or something.
But that turned into 8 dicks in her mouth and she wasn’t really a virgin - she just wasn’t a like railed out.
What would you do? I’m 24 and worry that I will age out of the young girls by 30 and worry that if I don’t take her back I may only find hoes in the future.
Seagram7 1y ago
Brother, This is your journey in life and you only get one shot at it. Only YOU can decide if this is too much to deal with.
But know this, the whole worry that you will age out sounds pathetic. Are you really that lame with women that you dont you can ever find another girl? Or that all the others wont be as good as her? It makes you sound weak and a man of few options that cant do better.
Horseman98 1y ago
You’re right. I needed to hear this. There’s nothing special about this girl. Literally sucked off numerous guys and lied about shit. I don’t need to deal with that.
whytehorse2021 1y ago
Sounds too harsh. Her family probably didn't know about the blow jobs and lousy sex. If you've gotten her to pair bond then you shouldn't need to worry too much about a high risk marriage. My wife had lousy sex with 2 guys before me but she was kinda dumb and thought they were going to marry her but they lied. Her parents didn't know about it. They didn't even know I was fucking her before we were married.
Horseman98 1y ago
I get that but idk. 8 blowjobs? That’s a lot. To me it’s not just the high risk marriage thing (that’s half of it) the other half is I don’t want a girl who’s used. 8 guys got head from her and only two of which she was dating? That’s low value imo. I really can’t make up my mind on this
whytehorse2021 1y ago
Lol, ok. Blow jobs aren't actually enjoyable for women. Your biggest worry would be oral herpes.
Horseman98 1y ago
Sure - but that doesn’t make it better imo. Another man’s cock was in her mouth. Multiple, in fact. I was only willing to overlook that if at least she had her vaginal virginity. Once I find out she technically lost that, I couldn’t feel the same
whytehorse2021 1y ago
Every guy has his own standards and things he's willing to overlook.
No-Stress-Cat 1y ago
Some girls remain virgins by taking it up the ass.
[deleted] 1y ago
[--removed--]
Typo-MAGAshiv 1 1y ago
No kidding.
Don't let women get away with that bullshit, @No-Stress-Cat.
Typo-MAGAshiv 1 1y ago
Not a virgin.
If pair bonding is even real, it doesn't happen after just one fuck session.
A) they may not have known
B) what do you expect? For them to put your interests above hers?
Horseman98 1y ago
I mean she wasn’t a virgin because she had a dick in her pussy. Not because of the BJs. The BJs, to me, show low value behavior but aren’t virginity related. If a girl is a virgin but sucked off one dude - like a guy she was dating for 6 months - she’s still a virgin to me. But once that number rises, then her value drops in my eyes.
And bro it’s crazy. They knew what happened and still told her she’s a virgin. No joke. Like what?
Typo-MAGAshiv 1 1y ago
Any dick has touched woman in any way, especially any hole, then she's not a virgin.
Don't let them get away with that Bill Clinton "oral sex isn't sex" bullshit.
Virginity is more than just the hymen.
People tend to want to reassure women that they did nothing wrong, even when they did.
Again, these are her friends and family. They have her interests in mind.
dongking 1y ago
Personally I think a girl only giving head is worse than sex. I find it sluttier. Also if your gf said she sucked off 8 guys, it's probably 20 - or more.
I also highly doubt her ex was only inside her abit. Classic trickle truth. He railed her.
It's your call but I would not LTR a dicksucker like that. She's a hoe that loves to taste random guys cock and cum and I wouldn't ever consider her for a wife/mother of my kids, so what's the point?
Horseman98 1y ago
I see what you’re saying but I wouldn’t go that far. A girl who’s fucked 10 dudes is worse than a girl who’s sucked 10 dudes. As a guy, I don’t look at girls who’ve blown me as bodies on my list. Different experience.
Also: I have evidence. She’s telling the truth about not being railed. Not defending her just saying. She still lied or stretched the truth so it doesn’t matter that much
But yea at some point I’d prefer a girl with 1 body (not a hookup) over a girl with 8 blow sessions.
But this girl didn’t have anything going for her other than she wasn’t railed or creampied
dongking 1y ago
Blowjobs are viewed as very intimate in my culture atleast. Many girls only do it for their bf. Specially a BJ until the guy cums, as it's likely she swallows or gets a facial.
Out of curiosity, what's your evidence that the guy was just inside her abit?
Are you from a muslim country btw? As vaginal virginity seems highly important.
Horseman98 1y ago
No - America.
And I have texts with them talking about it when they were together.