21 years old, 2nd year of college, somewhat regularly get approached by girls who tell me i'm good looking, mostly in bars and clubs
got asked out once by a girl I have never even spoken to before, get catcalled sometimes, people I meet randomly make positive comments about my appearance. still a handholdless virgin
Am I cursed or something? Is getting bitches something your father is supposed to teach you? I have never been more suicidal. Before I know it i'll be a 25 year old boomer. The last 2 - 3 years can be excused by covid. But now i'm in college and I go out somewhat often, i'm not a shut-in NEET like I used to be. It's not like i'm mentally retarded. I'm just shy and kinda awkward. Why is this limiting me so much? I hate my life.
RedPill115 about a month ago
How many times have you made a move on a girl and gotten rejected?
asadguy about a month ago
What exactly do you mean by make a move? Earlier in my life I used to get scared and basically run away. Now I just kinda talk to them.
RedPill115 about a month ago
Kissing them.
Touching them in sexual ways.
Touching them in sexual places.
Taking pieces of their clothes off.
Doing these things in a place where you could have sex, even if you don't go that far, so like at your place.
Are you doing these things and getting rejected?
asadguy about a month ago
Lol no, never got any where near far enough to do any of that, except at one 5 second make out session at a club right now. It rarely even goes past us texting after the night we meet.
RedPill115 about a month ago
I'm getting at a point.
3 rules:
1. who: guy makes the first move
2. where: be somewhere you can have sex like your place or her place - without other people around
3. ego protection: if a girl is meeting up with you her ego needs a secondary excuse for why you're getting together
Sure, everything is way easier if all this all just happens naturally...but you're not getting laid because you don't have these 3 "situational" things.
asadguy 2 weeks ago
nah, I get the first move made on me often enough. Still nothing happens. Obviously it'd be even worse if I tried making the first move. To end up at her place or for her to end up at my place, many things would have to go right lol.
RedPill115 about a week ago
You asked:
When I was in college I hit a point like this, and like a lot of guys go desperate and started doing things I wouldn't normally do.
I was shocked to find the only reason I wasn't dating a girl that was I wasn't:
I can't even describe to you how simple it was compared to the elaborate fantasy that was in my head.
All this feeling like a failure. Feeling like a rejected loser. Feeling like I'd never figure out the vast complex nature of women or attraction.
And the only thing that was stopping me was we weren't somewhere where we could make out, and I didn't make a move on them.
The problem was me - my own discomfort with doing it, my own self-sabotage about doing it, my own tendency to believe I needed to crank the drama up to 11 to make it happen rather than it not being a huge deal.
Dunno what else I could say to explain.
fumbor about a month ago
Yep. Def you. Same boat here. Also the shit expectations in todays age that you have to start fucking as many women as possible as young as possible. I've always wanted one chick to be my first and last. That type of serious dating only works out in the mid-30s.
Pfizer about a month ago
If you cant break it yourself, you got to look for external help. There is no shame doing it for.yourself, although keep it f9r yourself or in small circle as youd other secrets. There is abundance of crabs that will try to manipulate you emotionally.
Be it some camp, therapy, I assume there is noone in your circle otherwise you would already use help.
Most importantly wherever you go you have to accept mastery of that person and believe they know their shit, then do what you're told. Its all too common to nit pick because of self righteous assurance and superiority.
If you can't give control to someone to fix you, you won't get fixed.
Typo-MAGAshiv about a month ago
You'll have been born between 1946 and 1960?! But only 25?! What sorcery is this?!
I was similar when I was your age.
Approach anxiety is natural. Fear of rejection is natural.
Overcome that shit, though.
Realize those fears are Stone Age remnants from a time when if one of the cave girls in your little cave village rejected you, word of it would be everywhere, and your chances of ever reproducing were greatly reduced due to pre-selection.
It's not like that anymore.
You can get rejected 56 times in a night, and get laid the 57th approach.
Just force yourself through it a few times until you realize that it's really nothing.
imtranscending about a month ago
Dude I’ve been reading your comments the last 10 minute and they’re cracking me up.
Typo-MAGAshiv about a month ago
Thanks!
whytehorse2021 about a month ago
Yes it's you. Most guys don't get approached by women. Stick your dick in one of them already... sheesh.
Positive-Lifeguard80 about a month ago
You are already attractive. Now don't be unattractive. That takes time and practice through experience and cannot be learned online.
First stop the FOMO. Women are, men become. It takes many years to become someone, so at 25, you will just be a better version of yourself. You're not a woman, you don't have lock down someone before you hit the wall. Just do not make the grave mistake of giving up and ending yourself. You will start arriving at your peak in your late 30s and it might take till your early 50s when things finally come together for you. Just keep in shape and eat healthy, so you can actually enjoy life as a mature man. You have only one body and none to spare.
At 21 you can just relax, experiment and fool around. At that age there are no real mistakes, just experiences, which help you improving, slowly increases your confidence and reducing your shyness and awkwardness. By venturing out and exploring, you will find out what you like and what you want, instead of just taking in what others say what you have to like and to want. That sets your overall direction in life, long-term goals will manifest and you will start pursuing them. Women will wait at the finish line.
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor about a month ago
21 can be a rough age; it certainly was for me. Men often don't hit a stride till mid 20s or so. Know there are plenty of great years ahead once you do get established and the game figured out and played to increasing successes.
Positive-Lifeguard80 about a month ago
Boys raised by moms miss out this fact. They turn 18 and get told, that childhood is over, every little thing is super-important. Especially degrees, income and a girlfriend is all that matters, to make mommy happy. The slightest mishap - like a botched test with a low grade - and it is only downhill from there until retirement.
Mothers impose their exaggerated neuroticism on their sons and it sticks without a father correcting that.
18-24 is the age to enjoy himself while figuring out how to become a man and what he wants from life. He might end up in a log cabin in the woods, instead of a cubicle in CorporateLand, but that's his own decision to make. Not someone else's.
Intrepid_Place53900 about a month ago
When a girl approaches you, get her number, hit on her. It's not rocket science.
Do you understand (signs of interest)? This is majority of what guys will see, not a girl actually hitting on them.
signs of interest, knowing that a girl is giving you interest, then it's up to you to follow up on it.
Sounds like you are afraid to follow up on it. You have to practice it. Practice conversation, flirting,etc.
Where do you stand with that? Do you know how to talk and flirt with a girl?
asadguy about a month ago
No, I don't know how to do anything. Girls are like an alien species to me. I try somewhat but they eventually lose interest. even my friends are questioning me why I never had a gf before if girls compliment me. They're wondering if i'm gay or some sort of weirdo. Thanks to everyone who replied. For some reason I can't reply to you. Might be slow internet.