I've been meaning to sound off on this for ages now! I am a man with both severe ADHD and Aspergers Syndrome, which have made my life a living hell on Earth!
In all of my years, I've always had to go the extra mile to achieve ANYTHING that I want in my life. I've had to go above and beyond, more so than any neurotypical could. By comparison, their lives are a cakewalk. With severe ADHD comes a delay in brain maturation, which causes me as a 27 year old man to have the maturity level of a 16-17 year old, although sometimes I can act 19-21 years old.
I get distracted easily and sometimes I can be lazy due to my ADHD, my Aspergers causes me to be more introverted and I cannot detect body language worth a shit. Eye contact is nigh impossible with people and in social situations, I do not understand social cues and moores. Still, the fact remains is that throughout my life, when I've tried to overcome these disabilities despite being unmedicated, I've always have had to go the EXTRA mile when it comes to getting what I want or need in life.
For me, I wanted to live in my home state of California for a good decade or more after being in Texas and Florida for so long. Was I able to achieve that? NOPE! Because it got too expensive and I could only last there for half a year and the prices continue to go up!
I had to settle for being in Florida for a longer period of time.
I also wanted to get into the video game industry and be a graphic designer or a story boarder or better yet, a narrative designer for video games. Was I able to achieve that? Not at all, so I had to settle for trying to get into the Comic Book industry to be a writer and even THEN, I couldn't achieve that, especially since the Comic Industry has become so damn politicized!
Hell, what I want is one thing, but what I need is another. I can't even get what I need! I need emotional support, some therapy maybe? I need to friends and I need love as well! I've always had to settle for meditating and just being lonely all day.
That said, the ONLY things that I want/need now would be friends and a family of my own someday. But how can I attain that now?
I wish to have a social circle of friends, those who are Christian, Conservative, Traditional like me and at the same time, people who can understand me and my struggles and not be so quick to judge or write me off. People who be loyal and will have my back instead of ghosting me. I miss the days when friends were actual friends and not just people who'd like to have some small talk and ditch you at their own convenience.
Most importantly, I wish to have a relationship that will lead to marriage. To be with a woman who's traditional, Christian and is also really, physically attractive. Someone who's down to Earth and genuine, who isn't so materialistic and superficial like the other gals that I've come across. Since I tend to associate most social media, particularly Instagram and TikTok with anti-traditionalism and vanity, I'd imagine a traditional woman wouldn't be on either of those, but by all means if anyone cares to retort this and prove me wrong via an example, I'm open to hearing it.
Right now, I live in Eastern Europe and while I'm not struggling anywhere NEAR as much as I did in America, I am still struggling nonetheless. I came here to improve my social life as well as my dating life because my time in America was a colossal failure. Honestly, FUCK! FUCK! FUCK AMERICA and WESTERN EUROPE and their unrealistic standards/expectations for people!
I'm tired of settling for less. Can I not just get those two things that I truly desire? Hell, can I not be a writer and just have ONE of my books published by Simon & Shuster Am I destined to be alone forever and live this boring, meaningless bum life? God, I hope that is not my destiny.