So this is going to sound beta as fuck and tbh i do feel beta as fuck.
My LTR of 1.5 year broke up with me due to catching me cheating. She found my old phone and found out i was cheating. She also contacted some of the women on my phone...
This girl was so sweet in so many ways but also had so many red flags. I have internally realized that i need to let go due to impossible to have a future with her.
Her red flags.
1- Daddy issues, her father according to her left the family when she was 12. She speaks positively about him. That they used to ride motorcycles, go on boat trips and so forth and forth. But the time after he left them she says that he been abusive.
2- A lot of male friends, she is hot, i would say a 9 and even my male friends and their girlfriends call her good lucking X(her name). She is nerdy and play video games, CSgo, age of empires and call of duty. Due to her female friends not having same interests. She has a lot of male friends that she games with. Some of them are beta as fuck, matter of fact i would almost call all of them beta as fuck. She invites me to game with them. She has 2 brother that is into gaming and that is how she got into gaming.
3- She is on SSRI. She has problems with anxiety and are taking SSRI to counter them. Major red flag?
- She has PMDD. PMDD is basically PMS but on steroids. It can completely change a person 1 week before she gets her period. This is usually expressed in terms of anxiety, moody, gets really tired, wants to stay in bed the whole time and picks fight due to really really really small things.
The week before her period is called "hell week" in PMDD circles...
It can be everything from i saw you looking at that girl in the window, you dont love me etc etc. And when i say fights i mean she crying for 3-5 hours straight.
-
She is a songwriter, she gets in contact with a lot of hot guys, with much much more status than my in that niche. A big label in our country wants to sign her and that would mean she traveling to other countries and writing song...the possibility of her not cheating is pretty slim if you ask me.
-
I have a purpose that i love to grind on, something that i believe will take me out of the rat race, hanging out with her surely takes time and energy from that.
- Her mom is still single and living by herself.
Not the best role model?
- I know her ex and he dumped her due to relationship becoming to "dark" This was about 3 years ago.
Some green flags.
- Very submissive
- Hates feminism
- hot as fuck
- Sex is great
- Very girly and takes care for her self.
- Doesn't drink, do drugs nor use instagram.
We still have had sex after we broke up so i know she is still physically attracted to me, i didnt go beta when she dumped me..
Im M32 and she F27, i just need to fucking realize that i can never have a healthy relationship nor with this woman. And that i dodged a massive bullet. All help is appreciated.
I cant get the fucking good memories out of my head. I've also banged 3 girls after her and felt like shit every-time after.
hannulv 2y ago
This is dumb. She sounds like a fantastic plate.
LTR is 5+ years
Cheating is beta as fuck. Chad doesn't cheat because women are willing to share him. Cheating is for dubcon weasels that feel they need to lie to get ass.
Biggest red flag in the world. If you suspect that she will be using these in perpetuity and not getting off them, then there is no happy future with you together as an exclusive couple that is possible. PMDD can be caused by all kinds of shit, but is most often caused by hormonal birth control or lack of exercise.
Let her know that you completely dig her, but that you never should have been exclusive with her because you aren't that kind of guy.
mosd 2y ago
Bro, no idea how you qouted me the way you did, tried to do it on your answer but didnt manage, anyway.
[ "This is dumb. She sounds like a fantastic plate." ]
Dont think i can plate her, too emotionally invested in her. Think im chemically dependent on her. Been really hard to let go of her. And im not sure she wants to keep hanging out with me.
[ "Cheating is beta as fuck. Chad doesn't cheat because women are willing to share him. Cheating is for dubcon weasels that feel they need to lie to get ass. ]"
I totally agree, first time cheating and felt beta as fuck. Even more BETA when she found out and i felt like piece of shit. Not much i can do to change her picture of me now i suppose.
[ "Biggest red flag in the world. If you suspect that she will be using these in perpetuity and not getting off them, then there is no happy future with you together as an exclusive couple that is possible. PMDD can be caused by all kinds of shit, but is most often caused by hormonal birth control or lack of exercise. ]"
[ "Let her know that you completely dig her, but that you never should have been exclusive with her because you aren't that kind of guy." ]
Bro, she actually wanted to get off SSRI but her doctor wants to increase the dose. Dont know how much you know about PMDD but living with someone who has it seriously drains the shit outta you. Every damn month small things turns into the biggest fights ever.
I dont think she is angry at me because of the cheating, whenever we meet she fucks my brains out. Ask me to slap her in the face, let me take her anal and so forth. But she is "angry" for me lying and manipulating her.
hannulv 2y ago
I use ">" at the beginning of a line.
that's your call but it might good for you to plate her or keep her as an FWB
I have lived through PMDD, but do you live with this girl? If so you should work on mastering putting the brakes on relationships. The sides from SSRIs are untenable for an exclusive relationship. SSRIs are the chief cause of dead bedrooms. No amount of alpha is worth shit if she is incapable of normal arousal. Add to that the inability to process emotions normally and the suicidal ideation and you have shit sandwich that gets more disgusting as the dose increases. PMDD is as much about you as it is about her. The sad truth is that if she were on a weekend cruise with Chris Hemmsworth, she would magically be able to keep herself in line, no matter how many weird hormonal ups and downs she felt.
If you're a girls best option and she knows that you have boundaries, she will keep that shit in check. Her PMDD is teaching her that you have no boundaries, which will eventually cause borderline personality disorder, which is like PMDD all the time. Girls are like children. They lash out when they don't have the security of knowing you can check them. Just like you can turn a child into an insane monster by not having boundaries, you can turn a girl into an insane monster by not having boundaries. Girls should know you don't put up with shit, because you have other/better options and you don't tolerate certain things no matter what.
Deception and manipulation and inauthenticity are unattractive because they demonstrate low value. Becoming exclusive with a girl is also a demonstration of low value.
mosd 2y ago
She wanted to move in with me several times but i told her i like to have my own place, so we didnt live together. She slept at my place about 3-5 days week tho...
And youre right bro, her PMDD made her test my boundaries more than all the girls i've dated combined probably. Every damn month she would start fight and i would have to soft ghost her for a couple of days. But after a couple of months she probably learned the pattern. Even if she would hang out with Chris Hemmingsworth after a couple of years her PMDD would reach the surface.
Crazy part about her, she always wanted to have sex, i mean always, everyday. The SSRI's surely didnt effect her libido but she couldnt cum with regular sex. We had to do pretty crazy stuff for her to cum or use some toys.
I didnt manipulate her but i did lie. Hate myself for lying and cheating, so fucking beta. The girl i fucked wasnt even close to my GFs hotness. I mean not even close. Crazy how the mind works, just wants to tap some other pussy. So fucking weak.
whytehorse2021 2y ago
The biggest red flag is the one you missed: She broke up with you for cheating. What people hate most is what they don't like about themselves. Cheaters hate cheaters. Call it crusader complex if you like. I lived with an "ex-prostitute" and she would cheat on me every week and then come home and accuse me of cheating.
mosd 2y ago
Appreciate the answer boss. But can you really compare a ex-stripper to a small town girl?
whytehorse2021 2y ago
The majority of the prostitutes I've fucked were small town girls so I guess it depends on the town.
mosd 2y ago
Yah i know boss but i ment you mentioned how your ex-prostitute acted...can a prostitute be compared to a regular girl that isnt a prostitute? Surely the behaviour should differ somewhat?
whytehorse2021 2y ago
It's pretty much the same behaviour. Lots of shit tests, very entitled, manipulative. They're not like that when they start but that's how they end up. Same with a woman who rode the CC.
mosd 2y ago
Yah have been reading up alot of notch count and women. Seems like anything above 3-5 is bad for long term...
whytehorse2021 2y ago
Yup. I cut it off at 3. I mean unless I want a retired prostitute and I'm done having kids and my wife is retired and I want an experienced hoe.
johnnysmallseed 2y ago
End it. Go start fresh. You don't want what's coming.
mosd 2y ago
Yah think thats the best way to go. So hard to let go sometimes. Especially if she is the hottest you ever been with.
But sticking with something that is a bit toxic because of looks is not good.
coolsocks00 1 2y ago
Sounds like a tough one, but the red flags are huge. There are many great girls out there who are submissive, great in bed etc. who dont have red flags like these. Remove this chick from your life is my advice to help yourself let go. Having sex with her is just going to keep her in your head.
mosd 2y ago
tough one indeed.
To be honest my critical thinking is that its to many red flags and to much work...+ i cheated on her and she found it.
What are the possibilities to work?