Hello, this is my first ever post in the Red Pill community. I’m a 20-year old student who, even before discovering this ideology, has always known that chasing your purpose is the most important thing in life. I think I am stuck somewhere in between Red and Purple pill. Stuck, as in I believe in a great deal of the content posted here, but still struggling to accept that AWAT and still try to search for unicorns. I’ve always been attracted to down to earth shy girls and romancing them, rather than what comes after. My request to you with this post, I guess, is to analyze my behavior at a night out that happened a week ago and tell me what I did right and wrong.
That night I had gone out to a pub with some coursemates, whom I was meeting for the first time. One of them brought his flatmate, who, like me, is a foreign student. Throughout the night, we had a chance to bond over that and other things like the music we like I even shared to her that, like her, I’m usually kind of introverted and understand the concept of a socially battery (which she was happy I knew about).
I kept talking to and initiating body contact with this girl. Eventually, the whole group of us (5 people) decided to go clubbing, where both of us kept making eye contact with other, smiling and dancing. I decided to go for drinks and she, without being asked, came to queue at the bar with me. Long story short, got the drinks, couldn’t find the others and went outside for a smoke. On the way back, I held her hand so we can get through the group of people (wasn’t necessary obv, it wasn’t that packed), but she reciprocated and even seemed happy about it.
Once we got up on the top floor and danced a little, I felt that our eye contact was getting very intense, so I moved in closer to her and we started making out, with her awkwardly moving away every time I kissed her neck. Suddenly, she told me "I've never had sex before". I guess she thought this was my goal with all the aggressive making out. My drunk ass just thought the best thing to say is "It's okay". After that, she said she wanted to find the others and that’s what we did. The vibe got a bit awkward and she didn’t want to look me in the eyes. The night went on and her male roommate that I had gotten closest to congratulated me on kissing her, so I took that as a good sign. I do remember telling her “I like you,-name-“ and her showing me a note on her phone saying something like “blah I’m confused blah blah”. I typed “I like you a lot. Can I take you out sometime?” to which she nodded. She tried to give me a handshake at the end of the night and I thought she was just being shy, so I told her “No, give me a hug” and hugged her.
The following day, I texted her asking how she felt after last night and after some small talk told her that I enjoyed talking and dancing with her. She replied with “Yeah it was fun but I still have things to figure out sorry”. I told her “That’s alright, take care” and that was my contact with her. It’s been a week since then. Her flatmate seems to have changed his view about my kissing her, as he sent a text in my course’s snapchat inviting ppl out for a drink yesterday, but did not reply when I said “what time?” So yeah, this has been on my mind for a while and I do feel like a bit of a scumbag who forced himself on a girl and made her feel uncomfortable. If I had to guess, I’d say my mistake was going in for a full out make out session instead of a gentle kiss, or kissing her in general the first time I met her. With this, I pretty much ruined my chances of going out with these people or seeing her again.
unplugged69 2y ago
Mate you need to learn about shit tests, when in doubt treat anything she says as bullshit and act accordingly. Women communicate through subtext, her saying "I've never had sex before" actually meant "I'm thinking about having sex with you right now, but I don't want you to think I'm a whore".
The natural response is to IGNORE because who the fuck cares what she said, or to say something like "Neither have I, in fact I wear a purity ring" and then proceed to make out and get her to your place. She will put up LMR, but you don't want to be pushy. The best way to deal with LMR is to basically act like you don't give a shit since you're getting sex 5 times a week and your balls have already been drained this morning.
You're right that you shouldn't make out too long in a club, it will diffuse any sexual tension you have built up. The best thing to do is to actually kiss her for a few seconds, pull away and then ACT LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. It will drive this bitch crazy and you will be on her mind constantly. Then do the same thing as before, be hot and cold, flirt, escalate, kiss, pull back. However you should try to get her back to your place as soon as possible, you need to ISOLATE before you ESCALATE.
Now here's my final piece of advice, if you go out with a bitch and make out with her, fuck her, whatever. Don't start texting her the next morning bro, it shows you have nothing else going on and this worthless bitch has been on your mind 24/7, it screams scarcity mentality and women intuitively pick up on that and then NEXT you. If you don't have abundance you need to imagine what you would do if you did have abundance, today you'd go game some other chick and ignore this bitch until she hits you up and makes some effort to go out with you.
fckkkkk 2y ago
Damn, I needed to have this reminded to me. Thank you for taking your time to give me this advice, I really appreciate it, bro. I will continue working on my frame and abundance.
unplugged69 2y ago
Nice one dude, good luck out there. Remember to play the long game, we always win in the end. No matter how hot a woman is, if you meet her again in 10 years she will be way below you in SVM and RVM while you will be higher than ever before and dating bitches half her age, trust me because it happened to me.
derodigital 2y ago
You're good bro, work some on the mindset and make sure to stay on top of your endeavors. Money, business, hobbies, gym, whatever that may be. All of the above, preferably. Keep that stuff first as a priority, and you will naturally become higher value.
YourOwnDisaster 2y ago
That night was your chance at fucking her. She was into you and reciprocating. You should've told her to go back to your place or hers. You didn't and lost out. Onto the next girl.
fckkkkk 2y ago
Shit, I missed a crucial detail about the story. When she moved away after kissing her neck she said "I've never had sex before". I'm adding it to the post.
YourOwnDisaster 2y ago
Whelp, On to the next one.
SeasonedRP 2y ago
Your mistake was telling her you liked her, liked her a lot, and then saying G-d knows what the next day during texts. Let her wonder until you ask her out. As far as "It's okay," depends on how you said it. If you brushed it off lightly and said something like "It's okay, I'm not easy," no big deal. If you got all sensitive and comforting, it probably put her off.
fckkkkk 2y ago
Yeah, I should have never texted her the day after, after both have us have sobered up. English is not my native language, but by "It's okay", I meant "I don't want that from you". I guess it came off too weird. Damn, I get way too wishy washy when I'm drunk...
Jimpanzee 2y ago
Nah I mean I full on made out with a virgin in college the first night I met her and ended up sleeping with her. Personally I think the neck kissing was a little much especially if she’s a virgin. You do that after you get back to the room
fckkkkk 2y ago
My ex wasn't very sensitive in the neck area so I'm not used to it being a big deal I suppose haha
Jimpanzee 2y ago
It’s not a sensitivity thing it’s a very sexual public display of affection especially for a virgin. Personally I wouldn’t want to see two strangers doing that in public and I wouldn’t kiss my wife’s neck in public for that reason.
jormigaso 2y ago
what is the most one can do in public? kisses in the mouth? slap her booty? I mean in situations where you are in dates and there are more people, etc
Jimpanzee 2y ago
Classy in the streets, trashy in the sheets is a good rule of thumb. If you want to do a little booty smack or something dirty while out in public you do it on the sly where she feels like a bad girl keeping a dirty little secret.
In OP’s case for a nervous virgin that would probably still be too aggressive. I think OP pushed too hard, the girl got spooked and told her friends and now it sounds like he’s been blacklisted from the group.
fckkkkk 2y ago
Yeah, pretty much blacklisted. This sucks ass, as I can't even explain myself. Not that it would make things better, but I hate knowing their perception of me is that of a scumbag... At the same time, fuck what they think, I suppose. Moving on to the next one.
jormigaso 2y ago
understood, thanks. I thought doing that in public was 'dominant', like conveying "I'm her alpha fucks" but probably just makes you look like an idiot, what do you think? (I'm talking about showing too much affection in public / doing, saying dirty stuff, etc)