Hello, this is my first ever post in the Red Pill community. I’m a 20-year old student who, even before discovering this ideology, has always known that chasing your purpose is the most important thing in life. I think I am stuck somewhere in between Red and Purple pill. Stuck, as in I believe in a great deal of the content posted here, but still struggling to accept that AWAT and still try to search for unicorns. I’ve always been attracted to down to earth shy girls and romancing them, rather than what comes after. My request to you with this post, I guess, is to analyze my behavior at a night out that happened a week ago and tell me what I did right and wrong.

That night I had gone out to a pub with some coursemates, whom I was meeting for the first time. One of them brought his flatmate, who, like me, is a foreign student. Throughout the night, we had a chance to bond over that and other things like the music we like I even shared to her that, like her, I’m usually kind of introverted and understand the concept of a socially battery (which she was happy I knew about).

I kept talking to and initiating body contact with this girl. Eventually, the whole group of us (5 people) decided to go clubbing, where both of us kept making eye contact with other, smiling and dancing. I decided to go for drinks and she, without being asked, came to queue at the bar with me. Long story short, got the drinks, couldn’t find the others and went outside for a smoke. On the way back, I held her hand so we can get through the group of people (wasn’t necessary obv, it wasn’t that packed), but she reciprocated and even seemed happy about it.

Once we got up on the top floor and danced a little, I felt that our eye contact was getting very intense, so I moved in closer to her and we started making out, with her awkwardly moving away every time I kissed her neck. Suddenly, she told me "I've never had sex before". I guess she thought this was my goal with all the aggressive making out. My drunk ass just thought the best thing to say is "It's okay". After that, she said she wanted to find the others and that’s what we did. The vibe got a bit awkward and she didn’t want to look me in the eyes. The night went on and her male roommate that I had gotten closest to congratulated me on kissing her, so I took that as a good sign. I do remember telling her “I like you,-name-“ and her showing me a note on her phone saying something like “blah I’m confused blah blah”. I typed “I like you a lot. Can I take you out sometime?” to which she nodded. She tried to give me a handshake at the end of the night and I thought she was just being shy, so I told her “No, give me a hug” and hugged her.

The following day, I texted her asking how she felt after last night and after some small talk told her that I enjoyed talking and dancing with her. She replied with “Yeah it was fun but I still have things to figure out sorry”. I told her “That’s alright, take care” and that was my contact with her. It’s been a week since then. Her flatmate seems to have changed his view about my kissing her, as he sent a text in my course’s snapchat inviting ppl out for a drink yesterday, but did not reply when I said “what time?” So yeah, this has been on my mind for a while and I do feel like a bit of a scumbag who forced himself on a girl and made her feel uncomfortable. If I had to guess, I’d say my mistake was going in for a full out make out session instead of a gentle kiss, or kissing her in general the first time I met her. With this, I pretty much ruined my chances of going out with these people or seeing her again.