I've realized as my N-count goes up, that I will never be satisfied. I want to be appreciated and shown loyalty rather than just getting a couple nuts in(sometimes a lot lol) on some girl who, realistically, is communal pussy most of the time...

Problem is, even though a few women have submitted to me the way I'd like, I always wind up bored, because they are a couple numbers below me, and I leave. I suppose I just dont like people in general or something, and I am slowly becoming communal dick myself.

So this is it? I just work towards my goals indefinitely and leave my celibacy state to love-bond or impregnate a women to my liking? Life is kind of mundane really if so. My brain tells me to keep nutting in girls, but eventually im gonna get a std or knock one up... and I cant even imagine child support for two decades because I succumbed to my biology and nutted in some harlot Im tolerating.