DISCLAIMER: I am aware that learned helplessness is more often associated with serious conditions like depression and anxiety, which is not what this post with anecdotal evidence lines up with. So, I don't need the editors of Webster's dictionary lecturing me in the comments.
TL;DR at the bottom.
It does not take experience with new women to see female nature. One can see it through their own family members. I present to you exhibit A: my older sister. Since my birth, she has always had an odd type of jealousy towards me. Examples include her predicting (prior to when I was born) that once I am born that no one will pay attention to her, her complaining about my mother dressing me when I was just a year old, and her complaining when my mother would make me lunch. Her signature lines when my mother would do something for me was "He needs to learn how to do it by himself!" and "He can do it by himself, he's not a baby!". She knows deep down, that the reason my mother did simple things, like making me a sandwich for lunch, was because she wanted to and that I had known how to do such a basic task for many years. The root of her complaining stemmed from her no longer being the younger child and therefore not getting as much attention.
I really connected the dots this year, when I realized that despite her many years of complaining about "learning how to do things myself", she routinely asked me to order food for her, pick up her delivery when it was downstairs, and print out things for her. When I asked why she couldn't order for delivery herself, her excuse was "they deliver faster when you call them". Whenever I offered to connect her laptop to the printer, so that she could you know, "learn to do it by herself" she would always brush it off and say "please just print it out". Do you notice the irony in this?
TL;DR: Women- "Why learn how to do something when I can always have a man do it for me?"

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Silent-Assassination 5y ago
Dude this is just normal sibling rivalry. It has nothing to do with gender norms. Stop associating every single tiny human flaw with being female. My brother was the same when I arrived. It's about the youngest child having the most attention and when you're replaced in that role there is natural jealousy. Nothing more.
HODL_monk 5y ago
Small counter example, my father (!!) does the exact same thing with regards to email and printing. Yes, he is old, but printers and email have been a thing for 40 YEARS, and maybe they are not a fad that will go away, and are actually worth learning. The problem is, the people doing these things will spend a lot more energy complaining about you not helping then it would take to actually learn how these things work, so its a hard psychological problem to break.
Yet another All People Are Like That issue, that is just more prevalent in women because of our culture, but could be done by anyone, if the opportunity arises.
republican_heretic 5y ago
I've worked in IT support and this is absolutely the case. Most people just want you to do it for them. They'll call 100 times and have you do it, rather than calling once and asking for the solution.
mr_Tobbor 5y ago
About ordering delivery, it is a common practice. It is YOU who choose the table and give the order and YOU who choose the restaurant. It is called leadership. And yes. Let women be as nature has decided them to be.
It is extremely difficult to get laid unless you give her commitment that can't be faked. Commitment for sex that's the Bargain, the only thing you can do for having sex.
No Red Pill and Game and every theory in the world will ever change that.
Even the Alphas who can bang without commitement, they find themselves in the cage in the end.
E_Anonymous 5y ago
I’d also add a dose of projection into this on her end. Some people lack even the most basic self awareness.
MattyAnon Admin 5y ago
It's not irony, it's manipulation and lies.
chomponthebit 5y ago
Where men manipulate matter, think abstractly, or rotate 3-D images in their mind, women simply manipulate men to do these things for them. Men who understand this are truly free
RedGille 5y ago
No, I don't see any irony here.
She always wants attention and free care from others, no matter at who's expense.
Seems a pretty consistent b*** to me ... oh sorry man, it's ur sis lol.
JeNeSaitQuoi 5y ago
What you call learned helplessness, I would call entitlement. Never wanting to learn how to do something so that you have an excuse to have someone "wait on you" demonstrates one's ability to get others to do things for them. It also makes a great excuse for not doing something that they don't want to do.
If I can teach myself how to do something on my own, I will do it so as not to be beholden to someone else who has the power to grant my wish or not. I guess those who still want to depend on others like the feeling of power when they get others to do so.
Learned helplessness IMO is more about knowing to just not bother because will always be the same. "Can I go out with my friends Friday night," usually elicts a quick no or sometimes some other excuse that prevents you from going. My mother would make transportation an issue, but soon learned that I was able to secure door to door transportation. So she had to go back to saying no. The hope is that if the person hears the word "no" often enough, they'll stop asking.
VigilantRedRooster 5y ago
Leaving this post up for the comments despite the flawed premise.
Learned helplessness is a specific psychological phenomenon resulting from a certain range of conditions and experiences. This post describes garden variety laziness and entitlement.
[deleted] 5y ago
Just read "The Manipulated Man"
Some folks don't read the sidebar, I swear.
Half of these post on this sub reddit could be deleted. Including mine.
Dear Mods: you should repost sidebar material once a week. Just a suggestion.
b2daoni 5y ago
Recognizing patterns on your own and identifying the principles laid out in RedPill as it relates to your personal life... isn't that part of the process? Reading the sidebar won't stick unless you can correlate the material to actual, real life examples, i would wager. From what I've read in this sub, TRP is a supposed to be tool set to assist you in navigating your personal journey of manhood, no?
Women want to remain as young as possible because of the benefits associated with their youth: attention being one of those benefits. I've witnessed grown women (like 45 yrs old) revert to child like behavior in order to present themselves as lovable. If you can identify that type of behavior, then you are doing yourself a favor because it's really a manipulation tactic that all women, at any age, know how to tap into; if they are lovable enough, they can use lovability to obtain resources.
Now that I think about it, I think it might be why the counter-part to "Sugar Daddy" isn't exactly"Sugar Woman"
c4ge1nvisibl3 5y ago
Readingthe beginning of your answer makes me think the point system could get more addictive if we try to point out every sidebar pointers on every post, but pulling the stops to the guns of my creativity, with this post-style forum it wouldn't be as funny, and would be a pain in the ass to setup something, like read the post, answer what are the sidebar material related things on the post, get points, then you can see the comments and get going with our conversation, this would also increase our awareness of the game with a silly game.
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untonyto 5y ago
Par for the course really. Probably some male will voluntarily and blissfully fall in with her script.
WillMeatLover 5y ago
The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.
I have noticed that in western society it is not uncommon for a biological sister to be not merely worse than a mediocre friend, but an actual toxic weight in a man's life.
Such sin arising from unrestrained base nature should have been rooted out early in life with discipline and the edification of the child. It's sad that your sister sounds as mature today as she was when she was five.
Dense_Cantaloupe 5y ago
is this really gender specific? plenty of kids get jealous about younger siblings for bad reasons, and lots of people are lazy. i could see a slight influence but not a direct causation
CrackDaMarco 5y ago
Not disputing that what you're saying isn't entirely true, but this seems like it has more to do with the psychology of children/sibling rivalry than a gender issue. I'm obviously male, and I was similar to her when I was a kid. I've grown out of that shit now, but I was the first born in my family, and I was barely even 1-2 years old when my brother arrived on the scene - and although I don't remember any of my behaviour, according to my family, I was quite a cunt towards him.
Cant_Tell_Me_Nothin 5y ago
I completely agree. In this case the helplessness and the desire for the spotlight are not necessarily connected. Virtually every single sibling relationship will have some sort of rivalry and a need for the spotlight, and it has nothing to do with any one child being a girl.
The helplessness I agree is correlated with gender. Women inherently know men are more competent in many different areas.
This post should simply be titled "Women's Learned Helplessness". Not that women don't desire the spotlight, but OP is using inaccurate observation to arrive at that conclusion.
Nighthawk_Black_ 5y ago
Stop hanging around with shitty women problem solved.
SpiralingNacho 5y ago
MRW this post got 172 upvotes. What the fuck.
oooKenshiooo 5y ago
The whole thing with the "do this minute task for me, please" is a very common occurrence. I made it a point to smother those whenever possible. I flatout told my current LTR: "Stop delegating benign shit to me, I am not your fucking intern."
She poutet for a bit, but eventually she got the idea.
I am not all against helping other people out if it is less of a hassle for me than for them. (Me picking up something from the store when I am going there anyway) However, I am very against doing stuff for other people which they could do themselves at a similar (or smaller) expense of time and energy. (Like me going to the store for or even with her, even though I don't really want or need anything.)
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Maxofwarcraft 5y ago
I totally agree. In my sister’s case with the printing, her learning how to print would make her getting the item that much quicker. Because in our case, she sends the document via text message, and then I would have to pull it up and print it out; about two times longer than if her laptop was connected to the printer just pressed print.
GuyWithAnAngel 5y ago
I pity whatever fool of a boyfriend that she gets or has.
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dr_warlock 5y ago
I have relatives that did this. They only act this way with other relatives as far as I know. We're the de-facto butlers they feel entitled to. Putting themselves in situations that knew they needed assistance for and demanding aid. You're an asshole if you didn't. They never reciprocated either.
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I don't think most women can function without some betabux in their life (Mentally, not physically). It puts their mind at ease to know it's there and caresses the ego.
Maxofwarcraft 5y ago
She just got married and they're in the honeymoon stage. Unfortunately the poor guy hasn't seen what I have seen. She acts and looks completely different when he's with her. We'll see how long that lasts.
GuyWithAnAngel 5y ago
She seems to have an entitlement attitude. Unless she somehow miraculously grows out of it, this isn't likely to work out well in any relationship.
gediwer 5y ago
Aw man should’ve given the guy a heads up. If y’all are ultra religious I don’t think they will ever break it off. My parents have been in a painful and depressing loveless marriage for the past 20 years.
Dls95405 5y ago
The most conservative, religious states have the most divorces.
bitchyoubigsad 5y ago
Probably not a good idea to try to convince your sister’s fiancé not to marry her.
gediwer 5y ago
sigh nice guys always finish last
BlackendLight 5y ago
what's the timeline for this, like 5 years at most?
Maxofwarcraft 5y ago
If you mean how long they were together before getting married, the answer is less than a year. My family is ultra religious, so they marry very quickly. If you mean how long they will stay married, them being religious might actually make the marriage last their whole lives.
Edit- if you mean the honeymoon stage, apparently it lasts between 6 months and a year.
BlackendLight 5y ago
I dont know the name for it but when the veneer wears off and the women begins to openly resent their husband, dead bedroom and all
silent_dominant 5y ago
Poor guy will spend his whole life raising Jamal's kids
Blazer808 5y ago
Hopefully the families hold her at the same standards as they hold the dude
_-resonance-_ 5y ago
Also applies to any ex who lost interest when it became clear you would not relinquish frame.
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BroadPoint 5y ago
This is the wrong view to have when it comes to women. Having men do things for them is sexually desirable behavior. That's not to say I'm telling you to go find a woman who won't do shit for herself, but the fact that it gives men an in to pursue her has been more helpful for women than learning some trivial task. Women who gave men a chance to demonstrate some sort of value won out evolutionarily.
That value btw, just as an aside, doesn't imply that men providing that value by way of doing shit for her was successful for him. Other means, like making her laugh by making fun of her for being too much of a nitwit to do a simple task is also a means of providing value that the woman gives men an in for.
Anyways, this has made women genuinely incompetent at most things. In species that evolve, if you don't use a trait or competency than you lose it. The reason for that is that most mutations are harmful and so if you don't use a faculty, then it'll mutate over time and those bad mutations will not get selected out of the gene pool since the faculty isn't even used. Point is, this is not "learned" helpelessness. This is helplessness that people will common sense have decided not to try to over rule nature with regards to.
555WeWolf 5y ago
Alright I understand what you are trying to say but you haven't taken a few things into consideration.
Yes you are right about men demonstrating value by performing a task, shows that you are strong, virtues, etc. etc.
Buuut this applies to tasks that the women themselves can not perform. Lets take for example fighting off a saber tooth tiger, a man has a much higher chance of successfully performing this task (and staying alive) than a woman, so its natural for a woman to ask a man to do this and in fact protect her. For modern day time lets say my gf asks me to fix her computer because i know how to do this shit while she barely knows how to open chrome, that would be something normal of her to ask me.
On the other hand what OP was describing in the post is that his sister was asking of someone to do stuff for her that she can just as well, maybe sometimes do it better then him. This is simply a form of a shit test, she can then see if you are willing to kiss her ass and do anything she says because she knows very well she can do the things herself yet asks you to do it just so simply she doesn't go trough the trouble.
A comment i saw on this post described it good. If i'm more eligible (either because of my knowledge, situation etc.) to do a task ok sure go and help (as long as you are not delaying something that you actually need to be doing), but if its on the same level and there is no legitimate reason for me to do it instead of you fuck off and go to it yourself
BroadPoint 5y ago
From the comment you're responding to:
Does this satisfy your objection?
555WeWolf 5y ago
I wont lie i didn't quite understand what you wrote there the first time i read it, but i guess you can put it like
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BroadPoint 5y ago
How do you read into my comment as referring to being fat, egotistical, solipsistic, or BPD? Especially the line you quoted.
Anyways, are you of the opinion that when it comes to competence, specifically the stuff I commented on and not the stuff you were referring to, that the only difference for a gap between men and women is socialization?
ImNotSue 5y ago
Arguably doing relegated tasks for a woman falls under provider behavior, not displaying a sexually desirable skill.
If you don't want to fill a provider role, the behavior described by OP's family is not something one should indulge in.
BroadPoint 5y ago
Did you read my original comment at all?
What's your opinion of the thing I said about this?
ImNotSue 5y ago
Hit reply on the wrong comment, haha. Sorry if you got confused there. Looks like his comment is deleted now so it's no big deal.
chopping_livers 5y ago
Women have dual mating strategy.
You see one and try to rationalize the whole behavioral spectrum off of it.
You have half of a narrative - affection.
Desire is what you've left out.
BroadPoint 5y ago
I'm not rationalizing anything. I'm explaining why the thing OP described is nature, not nurture.
chopping_livers 5y ago
By suggesting a strategy of an attention seeking provider?
Really?
BroadPoint 5y ago
Are you illiterate?
Middle paragraph of the parent comment.
Why do you even go to a text-based subreddit if you don't like to read?
chopping_livers 5y ago
Calm your tits.
It's still being a provider.
Don't be mad at me for telling your shit doesn't make sense.
It's clear to me that nice lies > harsh truth for you. But why?
I would explain to you how desire works and how plates sometimes spin themselves and how it contradicts your one-true provider way, but something tells me you won't get it.