well that's it then, I am "old(ish)" and I feel my health isn't as good as it used to be a couple years ago despite best efforts.

time to end this charade I call my life.

[deleted]

One of the hottest points of debate on TRP is over which long-term goals would find us the most personal happiness / fulfillment. While I don't think this question is settled in any way, I know where I've personally been leaning on the issue and I think there's something wise to consider here- spinning plates isn't really a good for long-term happiness.

It precludes child rearing (at least in a conventional way), it depends on you having the energy to continue gaming well into your later years, and it depends on you gaining the same value from it year after year.

Don't get me wrong, spinning plates and learning the foundations of game are paramount to living a full, realized life. You cannot move on to bigger goals if you don't have the foundation underneath you. (i.e. knowing how to interact with women, learning abundance mentality, knowing how not to get yourself stuck in LTR shit test traps, etc)

Middle aged white guys have always been (IIRC) in the second highest bracket for suicides, after teens. Dentists and doctors, surprisingly at the top.

I spent almost 20 years in a marriage with a chronically ill spouse, working at a job and profession that didn't want me to work in it, living in a city that didn't want me to live there.

I never felt suicidal, but I often felt an absolute loneliness at having no purpose, no intimacy, no real "family" (my own family being off the wall nuts), no reason for getting out of bed in the morning.

I turned it around, but I know many of my friends my age who are satisfied to set the dial at "6" and live out their lives with their 9-5, two weeks off every year, and sex once a month whether they need it or not.

while older guys without families don’t have that source of meaning.

I've created meaning by living my life doing what I want for my own bottom-line happiness; my mission (writing a book on being married to a chronically ill spouse, for others in a similar circumstance; and also teaching yoga); and realationships. I don't have "family" but I have people in my life to take up that role, if and when I need it.

That's much better than trying to find one person - "the one" - who can fit all my needs in one package. That person doesn't exist.

Suicide rates for older guys have been going up for a long time. . .

Yes, 'kinless' older adults are a large part of the suicide paradigm, but an equally large part is that today's men have become much more self reliant, or 'self-service' individuals.

From restaurants to gas stations to grocery stores to 'everything under the sun' how-to videos on YouTube, society has moved from a shared service model to everyone becoming a compartmentalized, self-service individual.

As an older guy, not only was I raised to take care of myself in the traditional rolls like working steady, standing up for myself, and mechanical knowledge & vehicle maintenance, but as society progressed, I also learned to be much more self sufficient in my everyday existence, or a 'self-service' person.

I work, clean and maintain my own house, am a very good cook, control my social life, make all my financial decisions as well as all the important decisions concerning me and my life.

I don't plan on turning control over the end of my life to someone else, a hospital or mother nature. As someone raised to be a self-service person, barring some unforeseen accident/tragedy (stroke, heart attack, etc.), when I feel that it's time, I'll take care of that myself also.

For all the granpas lurking around for their black pills:

I was a pretty bad blue pill case well into early 30s. Still learning game now at 35. What else am I going to do? Get a fucking cat? Fuck that.

You're not too old to do this shit until you are literally too old to do this shit.

You know what's lonely?

Creating a false personality just to fit in with other people just so you can be around people and feel like you fit in.

Going to mass spectator events where you are surrounded by people, but nobody really reacts in a meaningful way.

Going to events where everyone is maintaining appearances because of some expectations that appeared from somewhere, maybe the mass media.

Supporting a family that doesn't appreciate you, ridicules you, hates you, manipulates you, or otherwise uses you. Ditto "friends."

Life is a crapshoot with regards to people and relationships. Sure, you can work on your social skills and self improve, but there is still a lot of luck involved. You can individually become better, but then, well, you might THREATEN other people just by existing!

If you can derive meaning and enjoyment from ANY experience, no matter how psychologically painful, then you have discovered a very important secret to survival and enjoyment of life.

Why are we quarantined? The admin don't want you to know.

Register on our backup site: https://www.trp.red and reserve your reddit name today.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

The older guys with families can find meaning through some source of work they can build. I think of Jocko Willink in this case. He was a Navy SEAL who saw some crazy shit while deployed. Now he has a leadership building company that works with large corporations and has a best-selling book.

Top comment said it already, but the meaning is found through what goals you develop for yourself and your progress towards them.

Older guys do fine provided they actually do the work required. It's older women that have less options.

[deleted]

This has been a question that's always on my mind too and I don't have an answer for it.

​

I do think that wealth and financial capabilities play a big part. Often times, it's not that one doesn't prefer to have a family, but that it is not financially feasible. I'm 33 and I find it hard to find a partner that has the right qualities to start a family with me. I'm better off living alone, spending $$ to do all the things I want and travel instead of planning for my child's education. Would I act differently if I'm already a millionaire? Maybe. I don't know the answer to it really.

​

When I look at my father and think about what he has done for his family when he was at my age, he had a lot more responsibilities on his shoulders. I honestly can't do what he did. Am I a happier man though? I think so, I think at least I'm a lot more relaxed vs. he was living the grind. The challenge for me is to plan and visualize life in the 40s and 50s and how I should prepare for it.

​

Last Summer I visited my grandparents and caught a glimpse of life at the later stage. My grandpa is in a wheelchair and requires daily care. To make things worse, his temperament nosedived, he became angry at the world and life in general. My grandma is the biggest victim. She cried once, saying she wanna get the fuck out and go travel to different cities while she still can walk, but she can't and her life is reduced to a small area, pushing that wheelchair every day. This is not to criticize any of them, life hit them both with an airplane. My parents have migrated to a different country so they are not with my grandparents. My uncle lives in the same city but he has his own family to deal with on a daily basis. I also have an aunt, she's divorced twice and a single mother.

​

So yeah, my grandparents had children but now they are 80+ and they are alone and bitter. I started asking myself the same question too, wtf do I wanna do when I'm 80 when my children have all left me to focus on their own life and family?

​

Maybe it's true, we come alone and we die alone.

​

EDIT: This is a depressing post. Maybe TRP isn't the answer.

If you are still capable of having children, you are still capable of picking up a young woman to start a family with. A key tactic in the feminine imperative is to prevent peak value men from understanding that their reproductive lives are evergreen, the goal is to create a rush to pick up a post wall "age appropriate" woman.

The truth is that the life of perfect contentment for a man involves, in part, starting a family at the time when he is in peak range with a woman of similar value and continuing to game other women thereafter without fallout. I believe this is something we can strive for if we so choose. If these other suicidal men realized this possibility, perhaps they would reconsider.

having kids is way too expensive these days. it sucks, big time.